Yeah, I just meant if I didn't want to, why should I be forced?
Ah. Of course, no one is forcing you anything. Not that we could anyway, even if we wanted to.
It matters that we get my type right. I might say something that someone could interpret as evidence of one when it could be more in line with the behavior of another. Regarding behaviour, sometimes I really have to think hard about what I'm really like; what is my actual behaviour, and what I'd do in this situation, or that. I also really disdain people misjudging my character. Then make assumptions that are incorrect from that. That's why it matters to me.
Yes, makes sense. The latter part about not wanting to feel misunderstood because they misjudged your character is actually very 4-like. I understand it's tricky figuring out though because a lot of our behaviors that pertain to type is so habitual it's unconscious to us. I didn't fully understand avarice until I read Naranjo and he provided some concrete examples and I realize how persistent this feature is in my life in a way that's definitely not... healthy, if you put it like that. Yet it's become a natural part of my overall behavior.
Actually, one of the reasons why I doubted 5 was that my learning often isn't simply directionless. For instance, I don't randomly pick up books and read because often times I'm only interested in specific things at a time. As an example, I thought about Quantum Physics, so I bought a few books on that to learn about. I love knowledge - I want to know how things work - but like I said, it isn't aimless. When consumed by something specific, I simply won't care to bother with anything else.
Well, I don't think learning for learning's sake is necessarily a 5 thing either, as in, I don't learn out of curiosity (I can, but that's not enneagram related) but I learn because it's a compulsion, a need. For example, I wrote this recently on PersC regarding this:
For example, a friend of mine was very much into the TV series Battlestar Galactica and he kept alluding to all these plot twists and secrets in order to try to get me into it but instead of leading me feeling curious and enticed I just started getting more anxious because I needed to know what he is talking about since I didn't understand a thing. Eventually I just googled the entire plot on Wikipedia and whatnot to his great dismay because I couldn't stand it anymore. I was crawling out of my skin. To me, this would be analogous to holding a bottle of alcohol in front of an alcoholic who is trying to quit and keep telling them this alcohol is so great but you can't have any of it or you are only allowed to drink one mouthful every couple of days.
Would never go to a bar and party to relieve stress though. I listen to music a lot to do that, and take naps. Sometimes I just lie there listening to songs for hours.
This is why sp/sx makes a lot more sense for you. I wouldn't randomly go to a bar to relieve myself of stress either even if I'm very disintegrated. I can have random compulsive thoughts like jumping off my balcony from the 10th floor, running in front of a car, thinking of going to Hawaii or selling my apartment but it doesn't result in something physical.
When I'm at my most disintegrated I tend to eventually get caught up in fantasy worlds as a form of escapism like how I used to play World of Warcraft for 12+ hours straight and get very involved in the social activity on my server to the point that I became one of the prominent members within the community. Here you can also see the power-seeking aspect of my enneagram. I was powerful, but only in a fantasy world. It's very important to understand this distinction I think because it still shows how the 5 is ultimately always going to be a head type and your power resides in the mind, not in the physical world.
I also used to pick random fights on the internet like arguing with born again and young earth creationist Christians with the entire goal of showing how stupid they are. Again, it's power-seeking aspect simply showing that I am powerful with my knowledge. I have the control and power over you.
Melancholic songs usually. It has to fit my mood.
Relate a lot. I'm the same way. In socionics this falls under the constructivist category under the Reinin dichotomies:
Constructivist
- Tend to minimize the emotional elements of interaction, preferring to focus on the 'business' elements.
- Have emotional 'anchors' (eg, books, films, places) which they use to support their internal emotional state.
- Can become 'emotionally hooked', and can have a strong reaction to a particular part or section regardless of their feelings towards the entirety.
- Have greater difficulty disassociating from others' emotions and experiences than from requests for action or consideration.
- “I prefer when people offer concrete solutions instead of comfort or sympathy.â€
ILI is constructivist, for example. I fail to see you outside the gamma quadra and I can't see you as an ESI so.
. What I can say is that I don't care much about power in a fantasy or cyber world, e.i. forums or video-games. I don't care enough about games to be persistent at them, and am usually more of a lurker than poster on forums (this is one of my most active ones!). Could that differentiate me from a 5 in one sense?
It just seems too time consuming. I get a kick out of debating someone I know well, in real life. It's more of a fun recreational activity more than anything, whereas on the internet it seems like a more serious affair, except it doesn't lead to anything at the end. Kind of like wasted energy.
