I do have an opinion on my type but I want to check on opinions of others so I filled out this questionnaire; Also, I don't really know my instinctual stacking order. Thanks!
What age range are you in? Eh, just got into a new age range... 30. Duh. Grr.
Any disorders or conditions we should know about? No. I'm sure I'm different from many people in some way but I can't quite put my finger on what that is yet and it wouldn't be a real disorder anyway.
1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
I prefer to live life at its fullest. I don't mean just hedonism though, I like to have a direction, have challenges, achieve things. Part of meaning comes from that for me. Also, it would be great to do and keep doing something for other people. I've done a few things for other people but would like to do something more significant in this area. It would give additional meaning to life. And then there's some other things that I haven't experienced but would like to and used to dream about a bit. Including a real quality relationship.
2. What were you like as a kid?
Very smart/talented but socially kind of an outcast (note: I did always have 1-2 friends here and there, just I was not "inside" the "society" of other kids), meaning I wasn't following others, I was aggressive, impatient, demanding, insensitive, lack of social skills or consideration of others, independent of the social shite, no respect of authority, blahblah. I was obviously just a kid so I was immature/inexperienced/childish in things but at the same time a certain lack of innocence or what to call this? Ok a positive thing, I was very enthusiastic about those who I liked/loved. Another positive thing, I was noted for my helpfulness.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
Always loved my mother to the extent that I got independent emotionally of her only slowly. I did make my own decisions about getting independent, though. Yet, I didn't always feel very cared for by her so that was the bad side of the relationship with her. I'm on good terms with her now too, I might be too demanding of her at times (she's a very helpful and loving person so she's OK with me) but I will do a lot for her when she needs my help, I'm glad to say that she can depend on me if needed! Relationship with my father was pretty crappy for a long time, I saw him as too inactive, yet aggressive with me/siblings without reason, emotionally distant, overworrying/overprotective about things. I directly attacked him a lot over those issues. I did think he was very smart though and we connected this way somewhat. In his last years our emotional connection was repaired a lot and I can only be thankful for having had that possibility.
4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
I don't really analyse my values, hard to say much here, sorry. :S
I avoid losing what I already have and emotional vulnerability.
5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
6. a.) How do you see yourself?
Ha-ha. I've already tried to analyse myself but this is a slow process. I'd never given much thought to identity issues before that.
Well, firstly, refer to what I said about childhood in the first question - I haven't changed that much, though physically somewhat less aggressive, slightly more socialized, more grown-up now, though I'm still not your average guy (well I'm female actually) but who cares.
Additionally, I see myself as someone with certain exceptional abilities, also someone who's able to be really devoted to a goal or a person, open to many things without the usual prejudice, willing to get into special challenges and with some softer side inside that's yet to show itself in the right situation... have some trouble with expression.
PS: Someone somewhere once wrote that he has a self when he gets moving, into action and it goes away when he's still. I liked that, could identify with that.
b.) How do you want others to see you?
I don't care for manipulation of my image and don't even know how I'd go about doing it. So, I don't care about how others see me, except for my physical looks. Physically I like to look attractive and special. I might like to indicate status but yet I don't show everything. That's it I think.
I grudgingly accept that many people dislike some things about me. That's not going to make me change, so that's that.
I said "grudgingly" because I don't like it if it disrupts chance of evolving relationship (friendship, social connections, romantic relationship, whatever) into a more deeper, more lasting thing. However, I actually used to be fully unaware of these issues, this is a pretty recent thing for me to care at all. I'm trying to develop myself in this emotional area or something.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
I don't analyse this topic much. But what feels most disruptive is people not being able to talk direct to me about issues. Passive aggression, unconstructively running away from issues, talking behind my back, exploding out of the blue, blahblah.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others.
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else.
1: a, 2: b, 3: c.
A bit hard to decide the rest after picking "a" for the first habit, but I'm not really into these "betterment" ideas so "c" got last in the end.
8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
Huh? My mind is either off with me busy in action or its activity is integrated/interwoven with me doing something out in the world or if I'm being intellectual then it's busy trying to solve an intellectual challenge.
Ok, if none of those, I like to think about my goals or I just stare outside. If temporarily depressed, perhaps involved with thinking about the origin of the issue.
9. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Best if I've got or achieved something, an object or a goal I wanted or solved something. Also when I'm in "flow". Sometimes if I happen to get a good time with people. My worst, when I'm not past an obstacle yet or when I run into issues with people who I'd like to care for.
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
What makes me feel angry: frustration with a situation, not able to sort out it, not getting (yet) what I want, etc. And if I feel I'm being treated unfairly. Anger on its own is an invigorating feeling and I often like feeling it but if it gets mixed with too much frustration over being unable to sort things out then after a while that on its own gets annoying and that's no longer a good feeling. Have to act it out in either case, even when it's completely pointless. That's usually something destructive but I make sure I don't do something *too* stupid that I'd regret *too much* later (I can take *some* amount of regret though so I do become more impulsive/rash.) Sometimes it involves other people, I don't have these considerations then but I do feel less regret too afterwards (depends). I've learnt to behave more socially acceptable in some situations (meaning some of the issues not directly related to other people) by leaving and acting out my anger alone.
Well I think I have only basic capability for that at best? Like, I can care about certain social blunders for a few seconds here and there but it doesn't really have an effect on my behaviour. I can't think of anything else here. I don't care for feeling shame overall.
I prefer to not focus on any anxiety when I get into something slightly risky. ("Slightly" according to me, not certain other people who overworry things. But I'm not a stupidly reckless person either.) I don't focus on it because it's just not pleasant and I don't need it at all. By anxiety I mean something adrenaline induced here. Overall, I'm not a particularly anxious type of person.
Other than that, in a stressful period I had anxiety about getting ill and not being able to live my life due to that. I did not want to spend time on the anxiety though, tried to get rid of it somehow, managed by explaining to myself how it was all irrational anxiety. It was a bit OCD-like, too. All that was gone when I got rid of the stressful period.
Again, I don't care for feeling anxiety.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
I try to solve the issue. I confront anyone and anything. I can get frustrated, irritable, raging. Exhaustion drives me to completely passive apathetic rest, I will get away from other people then and just lie down, perhaps read some easy fiction & temporarily less ability to confront people. Then I'm back and up again.
b.) negative unexpected change
Irritability, anger, stuff like that
I respond directly. What other way is there? If I didn't do that, I'd just explode very fast anyway.
Sometimes social concerns surface for a second but it all goes away, it usually doesn't affect my actions. I care more about practical concerns.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
I don't follow others. I'm willing to either contribute in a way that allows me enough control or I'll just stay out of it all.
If it's just about having fun, then whatever, have fun, no specific role, though I'm inclined to be pretty intense.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
I believe there's responsibility with power. Beyond that, specific actions depend on the objective. If you subscribe to the opinion that the ends justify the means then it all becomes a very complex topic if you want to avoid abusing of your power. So I'd rather not generalize there.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
I don't have automatic respect for authority, though I do definitely notice who's supposed to have authority officially and I can respect certain people with it, depending. In general I tend to behave with authority people as if they were my equals; Yes there can be conflict but I don't have an issue with "struggle", maybe the other party can feel I'm a PITA at times.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I don't open myself up to 99.99% of people on a more intimate personal or emotional level. I believe this has something to do with not trusting the other person that they'd be able to understand me or not betray me later. Not a conscious choice here, though.
In general I do trust people to a pretty good degree (not intimate), I can take a lot of shit from friends when I decide to allow that. This is a more conscious choice than the above one.
Otoh, if a situation involves material resources I will be careful with that too, I don't like to lose my property and I know perfectly well who I can trust with such matters and who's not trustable enough etc. Perfectly conscious choices here.
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
None and no influence.
To elaborate, I'm not religious and I don't belong to a specific political ideology though some of them are more likable than others.
Which of the following temptations do you find yourself acting upon the most? (And briefly state why)
- To constantly push yourself to be “the best”
I don't constantly push myself to be the best but I do like to beat others at things... just not a constant always-on motivation, only comes up when I run into such challenges against others. Also related to some of my goals but not all of my goals.
- To be without needs, well-intentioned
Nah... I do have my needs, thank-you. I believe it has nothing to do with being well intentioned. You can still be very helpful to others while having your own needs too.
- To replace direct experience with concepts
No, thanks! That'd be way too draining, I wouldn't feel alive then
- To have an extreme sense of personal moral obligation
- To think that fulfillment is somewhere else
I sometimes do feel I'm missing out on some things. Some of that feeling has an actual basis but I'm not giving up on anything. Otoh, I don't have a problem feeling satisfaction with the things that I'm not missing out on. So overall not sure if this so-called temptation about fulfillment applies to me.
- To cyclically become indecisive and seek others for reassurance
No. I can take a while to make a final decision when a lot of information is involved but I make the decisions myself and then when I do have a conclusion it's all final there.
- To overuse imagination in searching for yourself
No, I'd suck at that if I tried.
- To avoid conflicts and asserting yourself
No, I'd explode right away.
- To consider yourself entirely self-sufficient
Let's be honest: in this society nowadays nobody is truly self-sufficient, you don't produce your own food, you don't build your own house, and so on. So this question is not fully interpretable for me.
If I'm to answer not taking the above facts into account, I can be guilty of not looking for help in quite a few situations. I'm used to acting on issues alone and achieving my goals on my own. Always alone in my life really. It just happens this way, automatically. But I can readily ask for information from people in topics where it's faster to do that than via Googling; I can also request people to do things for me.
OK I think that was enough questions to answer for now. Thanks goes to anyone who at least skims this and does some analysis!