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  1. #11
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    Hmm...yes I can see why you are confused. You could gain some insight into which one is your strongest by reading this thread. It helped me quite a bit. Here's the 9 section from the thread posted by @OrangeAppled
    *1-1 is SX
    I also do think it's possible to be social last and still be able to function in social settings. I'm social last and I still sucessfully (if awkwardly) do group settings, I just don't prefer it and usually end up talking to one or a couple people.
    I do hope you figure it out, I know how frustrated I was until I did!
    actually, 1-1 is also Sp, and So/Sx tends to prefer smaller, more intimate groups of people. it's So/Sp that is the most comfortable in large groups, everyone else prefers smaller groups or 1-1 interaction.
    @decrescendo
    you seem either Sp/So or So/Sx.
    - you're clearly not Social last (social last types can fit in when necessary, but the idea of "being a part of something larger than yourself" does not appeal to either Sx/Sp or Sp/Sx)
    - you lack the active, cerebral, social networker energy of So/Sp
    - you're clearly not Sx/So. they tend to be more dramatic, fiery and volatile

    Edit: the Social instinct doesn't necessarily make you conformist, merely aware of group dynamics, aware of ones role and position in the group and more aware of how people relate to each other

    from a post from Isolde of typewatch:
    One important aspect of the social instinct is the awareness of how other people relate to each other. This perception can go missing from the perception of many social lasters. Social lasters seem to go with 'How I relate to A, how I relate to B', and so on. They can very well have many friends, but they still don't get how friend A might mean to friend B, and how the the relationship between the said social laster and friend A may depend on friend B as well.
    This makes for many social lasters being left out in the cold when their friend's relationship to other friends took a turn, which then affected the friend's relationship with the social laster.
    I am certain many social lasters know what I am talking about
    many So doms are fierce social critics, actively counter culture and bent on changing society
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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    @decrescendo
    you seem either Sp/So or So/Sx.
    - you're clearly not Social last (social last types can fit in when necessary, but the idea of "being a part of something larger than yourself" does not appeal to either Sx/Sp or Sp/Sx)
    - you lack the active, cerebral, social networker energy of So/Sp
    - you're clearly not Sx/So. they tend to be more dramatic, fiery and volatile
    I don't relate at all to Sp/So, from what I've read. The blind spots of the Sp/So are areas that I'm acutely aware of. I also neglect my health and don't give much thought to physical safety. I'm concerned with emotional and mental security -- in order words, reconciliation of internal conflicts, whether emotional or cognitive dissonances -- but I don't know if that has anything to do with Sp.

    I'm leaning towards So/Sx because of the second quote you posted, though I still identify strongly with many major Sx/Sp traits. Now that I've given it more thought, my concern with "being a part of something larger than myself" might have more to do with my upbringing than genuine instinct.

  3. #13
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    I don't relate at all to Sp/So, from what I've read. The blind spots of the Sp/So are areas that I'm acutely aware of. I also neglect my health and don't give much thought to physical safety. I'm concerned with emotional and mental security -- in order words, reconciliation of internal conflicts, whether emotional or cognitive dissonances -- but I don't know if that has anything to do with Sp.
    I'm leaning towards So/Sx because of the second quote you posted, though I still identify strongly with many major Sx/Sp traits. Now that I've given it more thought, my concern with "being a part of something larger than myself" might have more to do with my upbringing than genuine instinct.
    it was part of my upbringing too, but it's one of those things that either resonates with you or it doesn't. I'm leaning So/Sx for you
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  4. #14
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    @Elfboy - what would you say my tritype is, based on this thread? I'm already pretty confident of what it is, but I'm curious what others' impressions are.

  5. #15
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    actually, 1-1 is also Sp, and So/Sx tends to prefer smaller, more intimate groups of people. it's So/Sp that is the most comfortable in large groups, everyone else prefers smaller groups or 1-1 interaction.
    @decrescendo
    you seem either Sp/So or So/Sx.
    - you're clearly not Social last (social last types can fit in when necessary, but the idea of "being a part of something larger than yourself" does not appeal to either Sx/Sp or Sp/Sx)
    - you lack the active, cerebral, social networker energy of So/Sp
    - you're clearly not Sx/So. they tend to be more dramatic, fiery and volatile
    Oh, hmm...You've made me think I may be sx/so then, I have been called all three of those words (though I've tamed that a bit now). I do desire a larger social community, I just kind of suck at it and can't handle it sometimes...?
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  6. #16
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    To so types, what does social community mean to you?

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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  7. #17
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    fantastic. I'm back to identifying with all three types again.

    just gonna do the same thing I did in the OP, but elaborate

    Social: I'm not as interested in social issues as I'd thought at the time I started this thread. Public spaces, whether tangible or not, make me feel detached and invaded. I don't have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. I have a Tumblr to keep track of writing and art I love and to connect with a small number of strangers. Like @small.wonder wrote above, I'm clearly interested in the larger social sphere, but I struggle to connect with it...I never feel at home within any large group, nor remotely comfortable. I'm much more polite and open in writing, so that might throw some people here off in terms of vibe. IRL, I'm less willing to invest energy in appearing welcoming and engaged. Finding a niche socially -- which takes an abnormally long time for me -- does make me feel more defined, though. I prefer knowing my place/role via meaningful one-to-one relationships, but if they're not available, knowing my place in a group is an okay substitute.

    Sexual: Intimacy is extremely important to me, but I keep most people at arm's length because I'm incredibly picky about whom I let into my inner circle. I can't emphasize that enough. I'm very distant, and self-disclosure is so hard for me that whenever I voice my emotions it feels like a terrifying out-of-body experience. (Like, I've read about simple partial seizures, and those symptoms are similar to what I feel, though I doubt I'm epileptic.) I've been called intense and erratic. By people who know me less well: resilient, calm, and grounded.
    Without regularly experiencing emotional highs, intensity, etc., I don't feel like life's worth living. I usually don't need a lot of stimulation to experience that, though...the less, the better. Withdrawing from distractions (whether internal or external) makes me feel infinitely impassioned. But at other times, I do need that stimulation, indulging in any trigger I can find.

    Self-preservation:
    • There's this theory that sp-firsts are those who were forced into independence as a young child. I have a brother, three years younger than me, with severe special needs. I've always been more like a second mother to him than a sister, and though I honestly never felt cheated in this way, my parents' attention has always had to be on him. On the other hand, so-firsts are supposedly those who were raised in multi-generational homes, and while that wasn't my exact experience, my extended family has always been very close. Always had close family friends, too.
    • As an NF E1, I tend to downplay my physical concerns, thinking I'm above them. But I do love feeling comfortable and secure. I'm picky about my food, my bedding, chairs, hygiene products, clothes, etc.
    • this is still very true:
      I'm concerned with emotional and mental security -- in other words, reconciliation of internal conflicts, whether emotional or cognitive dissonances -- but I don't know if that has anything to do with Sp.


    I'm leaning towards Sp/Sx at the moment...but then, what's with this drive to make the world a better place? and why am I so aware of social dynamics? I just know I'm not Sx-last, but Sx-first doesn't really resonate with me either. Maybe I'm misinterpreting the Sp instinct and am So/Sx instead. Or something else, I don't know.

    Thanks, and sorry for the longer-than-necessary post.

  8. #18
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    How much do you identify with each of these descriptions?

    As a Perfectionist, you believe that there is a correct or right way to live, and you vigilantly scan for standards that are being violated and need to be restored and respected. The anger (or guilt) that you feel is a signal that something or somebody (including yourself) is wrong and needs to be corrected or punished. You express and neutralize anger (or guilt) by righting wrongs or correcting errors. This energy manifests differently through three instinctual subtypes.

    Self-preservation: Worry and anxiety/tenseness

    You believe that your very survival depends upon getting things right. Your life is about shoulds instead of wants and desires. You channel anger (or guilt) into perennial worry and anxiety about doing the right thing and not making mistakes. You don’t believe the world is either generous or forgiving, so ultimately you worry alone. You resent the unfairness of life, but so what? You still must avoid the annihilating punishment from your inner critic, the thought-and-desire policeman. So you keep busy doing self-preservation tasks that keep the anxiety away, such as cleaning, keeping things in order or stocking up on provisions. You attempt to assert control and impose order over the natural world in matters of self-survival. It can look like you would rather be right than happy. Rightness becomes an imperative despite your desire and longing. At your worst, this worry can become very limiting and accompanied by much inner tension and little pleasure.

    Social: Inadaptability/inflexibility

    In the social domain, you channel your desire for rightness and its associated tension and anger into correct positions. You make the system better or right according to your absolute standards. You become a social reformer so to speak. Where these are concerned, you become inadaptable or inflexible, and screen out evidence contrary to your fervent position. You not only find what is wrong with other groups, causes and convictions, but you also see what is wrong about your own group. There is one right way and you must support it. While you may become comfortable temporarily with a secure social role and clear set of rules, you later resent and then become driven to correct “deviance” from the correct standards. At your worst, you can become possessed by righteous anger and dominated by black-white thinking characterized by an inability to see differing viewpoints.

    One-to-One: Zealousness/heat

    You guard intimate relationships and become vigilant and zealous about your conduct, your partner’s conduct or that of special others. You feel that nobody should violate your right to pleasure – you’ve earned it! You express anger through fierce zealousness at the presumed violation of your high standards. Nobody should take what is rightfully yours. “She shouldn’t do what she is doing.” Special others must adhere to correct behavior and standards. “You shouldn’t. You’re wrong.” This zealousness encompasses the violation of anything you judge as important in the relationship – a confidence, time spent together, getting undeserved recognition or fidelity. At your worst, you get totally possessive and intolerant, monitoring situations and special others, even flaming up in righteous rage.
    Source

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    How much do you identify with each of these descriptions?

    Source
    Overwhelmingly Sp/Sx, according to that. Thanks for the descriptions. :]

  10. #20
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    one last question

    reasons why the thought of being so-last confuses me:
    • I really do get social dynamics. It's just that my place within a larger social context doesn't define me, and I never identify with it or value it very much. (But maybe that's because I haven't really liked most of the social groups I've been apart of?) And while I know when others' behavior is socially appropriate, I don't care if it's not, and I'm much less discerning when it comes to my own behavior.
    • I like knowing that I'm an appreciated member of a group, and I try to be inclusive and not offend anyone
    • I want to make a difference in the world. It's not about making my mark, it's about being able to live with myself. I have the opportunity and skills to make some sort of change for the better, so I would feel guilty not utilizing them


    is that possible for a social-last?
    Last edited by decrescendo; 06-29-2013 at 07:51 PM.

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