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Am I really a Nine?

Chaotic Harmony

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I'm starting to question if I'm really a Type Nine or not. Part of me thinks that I have fallen victim to wanting to be a Nine, rather than actually being a Nine. I've read a book or two on enneagram, and I might have glossed over and blacked out while reading it. :blush: So, I'm not really sure if I picked up any of it. :doh:

Anyway.... I'm not really sure how to describe myself here because I never really know what's relevant to helping figure someone out and what's just fluff that nobody gives a sh*t about. so, I'm just going to ramble here for a bit and see what I can come up with. I'm actually a very extroverted ISFP, in fact it kind of surprises some people to learn that I'm an introvert. I get really bored doing the same thing over and over again. It's no wonder I'm bored to tears with my current job and looking at going back to school for something else. I never really seem to be satisfied, and feel like I'm always searching for something better. I have to watch myself when I go out with friends, because one mixed drink can quite easily lead to having too many mixed drinks. I'm always looking for new ways to stay active; hiking, baseball/softball, tennis, volleyball, or even just going to the gym. It also really bothers me when someone doesn't like me as a person. I always want to know why. I also can't stand when people are overly negative. That's why my husband is driving me crazy right now. We go to a restaurant and after the meal he talks about how terrible it was, when I thought it was great! I'm seriously starting to feel like I'm married to grumpy cat.

Feel free to ask me any questions... I'm just starting to question whether I really am a Nine or I just really wanted to be a Nine...
 

miss fortune

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I suppose that the question that you should ask yourself is "what drives you?" :)
 

Starry

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Hmm... Stimulation? Thrill? Excitement? :happy2:

idk CH... I've never questioned e9 for you but it had crossed my mind in the past that w1 didn't totally fit in my mind...
But I generally dismiss those thoughts believing the individual knows more than I ever will.

9w1s remind me of 'middle children/siblings' in a way. The 'classic' peacemakers...always looking for compromise in any situation in order to please as many people as possible. Striving for perfection really with that w1...almost like...if I'm perfect than all will be peaceful.

9w8s are more dynamic. More go-getting. Have you ever considered that?

Or what type do you feel you relate to? Stimulation, thrill...that sounds like ESFP e7!
 

Chaotic Harmony

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idk CH... I've never questioned e9 for you but it had crossed my mind in the past that w1 didn't totally fit in my mind...
But I generally dismiss those thoughts believing the individual knows more than I ever will.

9w1s remind me of 'middle children/siblings' in a way. The 'classic' peacemakers...always looking for compromise in any situation in order to please as many people as possible. Striving for perfection really with that w1...almost like...if I'm perfect than all will be peaceful.

9w8s are more dynamic. More go-getting. Have you ever considered that?

Or what type do you feel you relate to? Stimulation, thrill...that sounds like ESFP e7!

Hmm... If the 9w8 is more the go-getting type maybe that is a better fit. I definitely relate to ISFP more than any other MBTI. I'm a pretty extroverted introvert, but still very much need my alone time and space. Maybe I have been a 9w8 all along.
 

Chaotic Harmony

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Saw [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] 's link to a questionnaire in another thread and thought it couldn't hurt to fill out... I'm pretty sure people are right about the 9w8, but we'll see if I get any other hits.

Prerequisites

What age range are you in? 30s

Any disorders or conditions we should know about? Nope

Main Questions

1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind. I feel like I'm constantly searching for ways to occupy my time and stay entertained...while still maintaining harmony within my family. I'm constantly picking up new hobbies (writing, painting, photography, etc). Lately, I've grown obsessed with fitness to try and better myself. And, pretty much since I've had the little one my world has revolved around making sure she's happy and healthy.

2. What were you like as a kid? I was shy at first, but quickly warmed up to people. Always running around interacting with people. Apparently, I really enjoyed taking everything apart and reorganizing it, too...

3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted? I'm super close to both my parents and always have been. I wouldn't really say anything stood out. I have been referred to as naive, probably because I lead a fairly sheltered life.

4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being? Family is a big one for me. Education is another one, I'm always taking some sort of class to learn about new subjects. I really just want to make sure that I never back myself into a corner (career-wise) where I absolutely cannot find a job. And I also don't want to feel like I'm ever a burden to anyone.

5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them? Actually, the opposite. I was pretty fearless as a kid. Running around in the dark didn't scare me, heights didn't scare me... And now both of those things terrify me.

6. a.) How do you see yourself? Kind, gentle, private, and generous for the most part. Guilty of keeping certain feelings to myself and not letting those I care about get too close.
b.) How do you want others to see you? The way I see myself.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people? Negativity. It really drags me down when people are negative about everything. :(

7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. (3)
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you. (1)
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else. (2)

8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this? To my insecurities. Feeling like no matter what I do it's not enough and that people won't accept me for who I am. It's always provoked by my lack of self confidence. It's always been hard for me to accept what people tell me, I always feel like they are just trying to be nice and not hurt my feelings.

9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst? Best - When my mom tells me I'm doing a good job with my little one. It's one of the few times that I actually feel like I'm doing something right. Worst - When I'm alone and my insecurities take over and I feel paralyzed by fear of never being good enough.

10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger - Being lied to. I get so angry that I actually cry because I don't know how else to release it.
b.) shame - Failing at something I was sure I could handle. I fall into this rut where I wonder why on earth I couldn't handle it.
c.) anxiety - Entering a meeting/class/group for the first time. I feel like everyone is looking at me and instantly sizing me up and picking me to pieces.

11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress - I turn into a raging bitch to put it nicely. I have a tendency to take things out on anyone around me.
b.) negative unexpected change - Frustration. Panic. Usually I have to be alone for a little bit to process everything.
c.) conflict - Anxious. I'll immediately start trying to diffuse the situation with humor or something.

12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why? The funny one. I always cut up and kid around with people in hopes that in a tense situation I can make people laugh and forget about it.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why? Ugh, I hate being in power. I usually have someone else handle it, even if I am the one supposed to handle it.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why? Nope, I'm pretty easy going and work better when I don't have to be the one to make major decisions.

13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't? Their facial expression/body language tells a different story than what they are saying.

14. Comment on your relationship with trust. We're not very good friends. I have a severe lack of trust with nearly anyone. I have a very hard time with the intangible. I have a hard time accepting what others tell me and worry they are just saying it to avoid hurting me or to be nice.

15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire? None. I'm agnostic. Politics annoy the hell out of me. Certainly didn't influence this.

Optional Question (due to personal nature)

Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
The birth of my daughter seriously calmed me down. While I am still fairly spontaneous, I now take her into consideration first. Prior to her, I was a loose cannon. I never spent more money than I had, but I had put myself in several tight spots before. Now, I'm much better about thinking about whether it's really a need or a want.

Extra Questions

Which of the following temptations do you find yourself acting upon the most? (And briefly state why)

- To constantly push yourself to be “the best”
- To be without needs, well-intentioned
- To replace direct experience with concepts
- To have an extreme sense of personal moral obligation
- To think that fulfillment is somewhere else
- To cyclically become indecisive and seek others for reassurance-This is like a double edged sword. I can be so indecisive that I ask others for their opinion... And then I question their opinion and why they feel that way. Thus...making the decision even more complex for myself.
- To overuse imagination in searching for yourself
- To avoid conflicts and asserting yourself-I definitely try and avoid conflicts. While I might be curious about something, I prefer to wait until the conflict has died down to get details on what was going on. And if it's someone I care about directly involved in conflict, I try to play devil's advocate to try and get them to see what the other person may be dealing with...
- To consider yourself entirely self-sufficient


What's something you are: a.) thankful you have b.) wish you could have? Why?
a) To have changed my mind about having kids. I can't imagine life without her now. She has calmed me down so much. I can't even imagine how my life would have turned out if I would have continued on the path I was on.
b) I wish I had an English degree. Hopefully I'm fixing that in a few months. I want to brush up on my English skills and start working on a novel.
 

Flatlander

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Very likely something in the 9-6-3 triad. I could see you as either 9 (9w1?) or 6 (6w7), perhaps I'd err slightly in favor of 9 because it looks like integration goes to 3 and disintegration to 6, but you could also examine the concept of soul child and come up with a point for type 6 (the soul child of 6 is 9).
 

Animal

So carnal it's spiritual
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13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't? Their facial expression/body language tells a different story than what they are saying.
6-ish "bullshit detector" ;)

14. Comment on your relationship with trust. We're not very good friends. I have a severe lack of trust with nearly anyone. I have a very hard time with the intangible. I have a hard time accepting what others tell me and worry they are just saying it to avoid hurting me or to be nice.
Also sounds 6-ish skepticism.

- To avoid conflicts and asserting yourself-I definitely try and avoid conflicts. While I might be curious about something, I prefer to wait until the conflict has died down to get details on what was going on. And if it's someone I care about directly involved in conflict, I try to play devil's advocate to try and get them to see what the other person may be dealing with...
If you were a core 6 you'd definitely be a phobic 6 rather than counter-phobic: it sounds like you would hang back until it was reasonable to jump in.

However "playing devil's advocate" is a catch-phrase for type 6.

Based on all of this, along with the OP post (which sounded very, very 9ish) I would say that 9 or 6 are both worth looking into, though the 9-6 connection is clear. It's possible you're a 9 with a strong line to 6 or a 6 fix; I know that I mistyped at 5 for a long time, and I'm an 8 with a 5 fix but also a pervasive line to 5. The power of those connecting lines is often underestimated, I think.


b) I wish I had an English degree. Hopefully I'm fixing that in a few months. I want to brush up on my English skills and start working on a novel.[/B]

Nice! What would the novel be like??
 

Chaotic Harmony

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6-ish "bullshit detector" ;)


Also sounds 6-ish skepticism.


If you were a core 6 you'd definitely be a phobic 6 rather than counter-phobic: it sounds like you would hang back until it was reasonable to jump in.

However "playing devil's advocate" is a catch-phrase for type 6.

Based on all of this, along with the OP post (which sounded very, very 9ish) I would say that 9 or 6 are both worth looking into, though the 9-6 connection is clear. It's possible you're a 9 with a strong line to 6 or a 6 fix; I know that I mistyped at 5 for a long time, and I'm an 8 with a 5 fix but also a pervasive line to 5. The power of those connecting lines is often underestimated, I think.


Interesting, I've never considered 6. I will look into it and see if I can relate to any of it. That would match [MENTION=15372]flatlander[/MENTION] 's 9-6-3 triad.

Nice! What would the novel be like??

Definitely sometime of mystery novel... I used to think it would be murder/mystery type... But anymore I'm becoming more and more interested in angels/demons types of things... So maybe something more along those lines.
 

Animal

So carnal it's spiritual
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Interesting, I've never considered 6. I will look into it and see if I can relate to any of it. That would match [MENTION=15372]flatlander[/MENTION] 's 9-6-3 triad.
Yeah, I think he was right about that. It does seem to be the right triad.

I'm curious - which enneagram books have you read? I've found the most helpful one so far to be Naranjo's "Character and Neurosis" though , regardless of what type you are, it's painful. That author does not spare *anyone.* But what he does is to associate each enneagram type with a really bad mental illness to show what it sort of "degenerates" to and what underlies it. Scary, but I think it helps with a lot of insights about one's deepest potentials, and can really help for not only finding your type, but for growth, if you're up for it.

Also, Maitri's "Passions and Virtues" is a good read.. and a lot lighter and easier to deal with emotionally.

Definitely sometime of mystery novel... I used to think it would be murder/mystery type... But anymore I'm becoming more and more interested in angels/demons types of things... So maybe something more along those lines.
Aw wow! Sounds exciting.. good luck =,)


I have another question: Would you consider yourself reactive?
 

Chaotic Harmony

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Yeah, I think he was right about that. It does seem to be the right triad.

I'm curious - which enneagram books have you read? I've found the most helpful one so far to be Naranjo's "Character and Neurosis" though , regardless of what type you are, it's painful. That author does not spare *anyone.* But what he does is to associate each enneagram type with a really bad mental illness to show what it sort of "degenerates" to and what underlies it. Scary, but I think it helps with a lot of insights about one's deepest potentials, and can really help for not only finding your type, but for growth, if you're up for it.

Also, Maitri's "Passions and Virtues" is a good read.. and a lot lighter and easier to deal with emotionally.

I've only read one... And I'd have to dig around on my Kindle to figure out which one it was... It was all right, but lacked depth and details in some of the descriptions. I liked that it listed certain famous people's types and I was able to see if I could relate to any of them or not. I'll have to see if I can find Naranjo's "Character and Neurosis."

Reading around on the Type 6, I can definitely relate to that one now that I have read up on it a little more. I am often told that I'm the most loyal friend anyone's ever had... So there's that. :)


I have another question: Would you consider yourself reactive?

I can be. It really depends on what it relates to. My husband can be pretty oblivious to what our toddler is up to when he's "watching" her... And if I come back in the room to find that she's dumped a glass of milk or whatever on the floor or she's standing on a table and all he's doing is watching TV totally unaware of the surrounding situation I am very reactive. However, if someone says something to get a rise out of me or for shock value I typically don't react at all. So, I guess it depends on where it falls in my value system. :)
 
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