Hey everyone. I have another “Am I an INFJ or INFP?” thread here. Sorry, if you all are tired of these threads, but it will drive me insane if I don’t have some more certainty into the matter. I need the most correct answer or I’ll just keep searching and drive myself nuts. I guess I need closure. Thus, I've decided to ask you all.
I have been classified as INFJ on all the tests, but I have doubts that I am an INFJ. One reason in particular is also because most of my closest friends have also been classified as an INFJ and that seems to me to be a little unbelievable. I mean, someone has to be the fraud and I would like to know if it’s me or not. I also don’t feel like I could be “special” enough to be an INFJ. It’s possible that I could be INFP. I’m pretty sure of the INF part, but of course, with evidence, I suppose that is also subject to change, except the introvert part: That’s definitely true.
Bear with me, this is most likely going to end up a pretty long blog post, but I will try not to overload you all with information (no guarantees.) I've numbered the below attributes in case you would like to reference specific points. These are in no particular order, even though I really want to order them, but I would spend too much time on it. =D
The 30 quirks and wonderments of my individuality (working title)
1.) I don’t feel like I have as much depth as an INFJ should have.
2.) I am pretty inpatient, firm on my stance, pretty open with criticism, and I am often times insecure and unsure of myself.
3.) When someone is trying to argue with me (especially when it’s about something really trivial), I usually laugh and have a great time, which just makes the person arguing with me more mad. I laugh because I think: Why are you even trying to argue about this?
4.) When casually writing or texting with a friend, I use ellipses quite a bit.
5.) I am very forgiving and quick to love. If I see someone do others emotional harm and see a genuine change within them after the fact, I will tend to not hold anything against them. I am generally horrible at holding grudges, but I may not easily forgive people if they personally harm me.
6.) I read over this post
a couple of timestoo many times to count before posting it. I hate finding typos after I’ve posted something.
7.) I like to wear crazy clothing at times (to stick out and show my individuality, I guess), but it can’t be too crazy. For example, jeans with clouds on them or long fuzzy socks/neon socks (but the socks have to match!) I can be pretty, openly weird with people I’m comfortable with.
8.) I don’t think I’m that organized: my desk is messy, my room is normally messy, but I know where everything is. My mind is constantly nagging me to clean though, and it usually takes me a while to act on it.
9.) I sometimes get the strong feelings that the descriptions of INFJs talk about. As one example, I was riding on the school bus when I was younger and got a terrible feeling that the bus was going to crash and I got so scared. On the way home, we passed a school bus full of kids that just crashed. I’m also weird with smells. If I walk into someone’s house, I can smell if they are sick. I smelled my grandfather’s stomach cancer, and I asked my mom and brother if they could smell it and they looked at me like I was crazy. It smelled like he was rotting inside.
10.) My favorite topics to talk about are controversial and deep. I’m always asking people questions to learn more about them. I like to know why they think a certain way. I disclose quite a bit of information about myself and my thoughts to people I trust, but only really close individuals get to know certain things about me (sexual abuse in my past by a family member). It’s important for me to have someone that will listen to me and that I can tell my thoughts to. I like to call them my “rant therapist.”
11.) When someone upsets me, I normally hide my emotions (recently I have been reacting with anger). I scream into my head and then I later tell my “rant therapist,” who is mentioned above, about it. I will usually defend myself if I feel like I am being unjustly attacked, but I will never attack the other person (unless it’s a sibling because that’s a part of sibling love. =P)
12.) My day isn't ruined if things don’t go as planned. I’m pretty flexible; however, on the flip-side, I don’t see myself as very spontaneous. My best friend gets really irritated at me because whenever she asks me to go out and do an activity right this instant, I always feel a strong apprehension to stay inside. When I do go with her, I usually have a lot of fun. I also don’t like planning every minute of my day. Yes, I like to know the general flow of the day, but I don’t want to be inflexible and feel insecure if something goes wrong. However, if I've been planning something for a long time, it bothers me if it doesn't work out.
13.) If there isn't a deadline, good luck getting me to achieve my goals in a timely manner. There are too many distractions. I need complete silence to focus. If there is a conversation going on around me, I can’t not listen to it.
14.) I don’t think small talk bothers me. Yes, I deeply enjoy talking about anything with a deeper meaning beyond “how’s the weather today,” but sometimes, that’s all I’d rather talk about because I don’t want to talk in the first place. ^_^
15.) I hate making decisions really quickly. If I have to, I want someone else to tell me the right decision, so I don’t have to choose rashly and be at blame if I make the wrong one. Just recently, a family member that has been quite lost and in turn rude to my family asked me to drive him to work at a time that was inconvenient to me. I knew I should take him, but I called my mom for her advice on whether it would be wrong if I said no. She made me decide and I ultimately took him. Then he gave me a throbbing headache for some reason. Every time I’m alone with him, I get a headache. Once a decision is made (and hopefully made early so my mind can be at rest), I hate to change it. I am firm in both my beliefs and decisions. However, I can also push decisions away from me to prevent my having to think about it at all.
16.) I don’t know if I perceive all the things INFJs see, like how they automatically know things. Yes, I can tell you exactly what my best friend is thinking just by looking at her, but I also think that could be just because I spend so much time with her. I like watching people and trying to figure out how they work. I get bad vibes from some people but I still tolerate them because I want to find a way to help them.
17.) When surrounded with people who have different opinions from my own, I don’t force them to change. I like to hear their viewpoints in order to learn more about them. I consider their viewpoint, but rarely change my own. I challenge their viewpoint in a gentle way, in order to further explore their ideas.
18.) (This relates to another personality website, you may have similar threads) When I read the “You know you’re an INFP…” thread, I felt more connected to that then the INFJ one because the INFP thread made me laugh. I had done some of the things mentioned there, but I have also done some of the things on the INFP thread.
19.) I can be very emotional; I tend to cry at anything sad. I love to hug in private for very long periods, usually with a very close friend or family member. In public, I hate being touched or hugged. All touch is okay if I initiate it. For example, today I was sitting beside one of my friends who was hiding his head from me and kept rubbing at his eyes. Naturally, I assumed he was crying so I rubbed his back and told him everything would be okay. I think he just broke up with his girlfriend. That act of touch was okay; I started it.
20.) I can be pretty sentimental as well. I like hearing stories of my childhood and seeing photos and home videos. I have pictures and important papers on my wall to remind me who I am and where I come from and where I’m going. For example, I have race numbers, pictures I’ve drawn or pictures I think are cute, rejection letters (I’m a writer), and pictures relating to the Christian faith.
21.) My highest rated temperament pattern is Catalyst, and then I’m Stabilizer, which I agree with. I am not sure about my interaction style. I could see me doing all of them except “Get-Things-Going” depending on the group I’m working with.
22.) I constantly want to help strangers and love volunteering. I really want to help all the “dark, mysterious” people I meet, who I know are really good inside and are hurting in some way. I am often lost in my own mind, and I daydream, putting myself in scenarios that could happen. Recently, I was meeting a friend at a coffee shop at 7 (naturally I got there at 6:40), and on the way I envisioned different ways the conversation could go and how I would react so I would be ready for it. In another note, her 10 minute lateness actually irked me; she made me wait and made me feel like she didn’t value my time. I also daydream before I go to bed just for the heck of it.
23.) I feel lonely in a room full of people, or even with a group of friends. I feel out-of-place and worry that people will notice that I am lonely and think about me. I don’t want people to notice me much. I feel lonely when driving somewhere by myself for 30 minutes or more; I then have to turn the radio on. However, I want people to notice my writing.
24.) I’m awkward expressing myself verbally. I stutter and jump around when I talk. I’m much more comfortable writing my thoughts down on paper and re-reading them for clarity.
25.) I always give advice to people, even when it’s not wanted. I tend to criticize a lot, but out of love and because I genuinely want to help them. There’s a lot I would change if I could and it irritates me that I can’t. The fact that people didn't listen to me when I was younger irritated me. I wondered if it was wrong for a parent to take a child’s advice.
26.) When I look into my dog’s eyes, I often wonder if she’s really a person in there, like if it’s possible she was a human that got stuck into a dog’s body. It’s the amount of emotion I sense by looking in her eyes.
27.) I do sometimes take on the feelings of others. My friend was explaining to me about how he’s excited and hopeful about getting a date with a girl and I was feeling it with him and got nervous and bubbly inside.
28.) I often know the word I need. The perfect word always comes to mind when I'm searching for it, but I never know what the word means. When I look it up, I see it’s the word I was looking for. This happens also when I’m talking in a foreign language.
29.) I am definitely looking for the ultimate soulmate, and I note the cons of each person I have an interest in. I fall way too easily in love. It may be the cause of hormones.
30.) I asked some of my friends, and my facial expressions and voice are not very expressive, more monotone and neutral. However, I am easily excitable and when I am, my voice also sounds excited.
Okay, I suppose that’s more than all of you could have ever wanted, so I will stop now. If you've read this far, thank you! All right, do I seem more like an INFJ or INFP?