So! I have literally considered every stacking there is, and I still can't type myself. I don't relate to any of the descriptions I've found. Because I highly doubt that I "broke the system", I presume this means that I'm very out of touch with my instincts, or that there's some sort of MBTI/Enneagram conflict that makes it difficult to separate those types from my instincts.
Here's a little background data/pros and cons, off the top of my head:
Ways that I’m Social:
- I love hosting parties, and talking with people at parties is very energizing to me
- I’m very into politics and international affairs
- I love gossip and I care about keeping up with people’s lives (from a distance), even if I don’t know them well
- When I'm in a musical ensemble and we're playing a piece, and I feel like one part of a glorious whole, it's a really amazing, almost spiritual experience -- which may not be related to the So instinct, but it might be, since it means oneness with a group
Ways that I’m not Social:
- I can't stand social events where I don't know anyone; what usually happens is, I make myself talk to one or two people, and if that goes well, then I latch onto them so that I don't have to repeat the experience with anyone else. The only times when I love schmoozing at parties, is when I know all the people who are there and I genuinely want to talk to them.
- I'm never all that aware of my standing within a group. I have an idealized image of the role I strive for, in the group, but I can never tell if the other members of the group actually see me that way.
- Every description I’ve read of Social Ones suggests that we enforce perfection onto society, but I gave up on that in my early teens. When I was younger, I had such a low tolerance for bullshit/incorrectness that I would act like the Fact Police around others, and crusade against any idea of theirs that I thought was “wrong”. Now I am the polar opposite; for the sake of my own mental health, I avoid fights that I know I can't win. On the forum, for example, I err on the side of not getting myself into arguments, because I know from experience that I'd get emotionally involved, the debate would entrench itself, and after the inevitable stalemate (or my failure), I'd leave with the same feeling that you get if you open up to someone emotionally only for them to promptly stab you right in your newly exposed weak spot. (woo, run on sentence!)
Ways that I’m Self-Pres:
- I'm very concerned with my mental well-being; I'm protective of my free time because I know that I'll feel horrible without it, I detach myself from toxic friendships as soon as I can to protect myself from getting hurt, etc.
- I absolutely loathe being hungry, so I’m very serious about getting regular meals every day; even in the darkest periods of my life, I’ve made sure to eat enough to stave off hunger.
Ways that I’m not Self-Pres:
- I tend to not take care of myself as well as I think I do. Readers of my blog know that I work myself to death and then become confused when my level of performance declines.
- If a friend bails on plans with me at the last minute, citing a sp-dom reason like needing chill time after finishing an assignment, I'll have very little sympathy for them -- because if it were me, I would have kept my word, because that's more important than my petty everyday needs.
Ways that I’m Sexual:
- I’m an intense person and I’ve been told that intimidates people
- I like spending one-on-one time with friends, and I hate it when a friend invites me over and then I find out too late that they invited other friends over too; leaves me feeling deprived of conversation topics that would have been impossible in a large group.
- As implied by the previous point, I love the sorts of conversations that you can only have with someone one-on-one
- Finding out that a close friend has behaved unjustly or immorally but thinks they did the right thing, can feel like a betrayal
Ways that I’m not Sexual:
- I realized very recently that I’m afraid of intimacy. Sx descriptions tend to emphasize being “in sync” with someone, and being afraid of becoming “out of sync” with them, which is not necessarily something I can relate to. I love feeling like I truly know someone, on a deep level – and having that in a romantic relationship would be really, really nice – but I’m not eager to let other people know me that deeply.
- I'm more prone towards compassion, than empathy.