I have determined I am a 4w3 Sp-Sx Enneagram type. I also am, at the very least, living under the assumption that I am an ENTP. These two types don't seem to jive well together. I do understand that the two theories were never designed to compliment each other, but we can assume that some types simply do not comply with certain Enneagram numbers, for instance a type 1w2 ESTP would seem bizar. Until recently I had never delved into the Enneagram to deeply simply because I have found gathering information on the subject to be wanting in many areas, and quite honestly until I read some of the post on INFJ forum (because INFJs are ahead of us all apparently) I was not sure where any of the questions i had would ever be answered. For instance, I feel like I am a slave to my emotions but at the same time I simply must analyze everything that has ever happened to me. I have been wondering lately if I am a really emotionally damaged ENFP. As a child I was years ahead of the children around me. I was tested a child by my school in regards to my intelligence and they had determined that I was reading at a high school level in kindergarden. I also was very capable of figuring out the people around me, for instance my grandmother is the bain of my existence due to her Sarah Palin-esq demeanor, nothing that she says is grounded in any form of fact. Every time I see my grandmother she ask me if I am still enrolled in college which floors me because A: I have a high GPA and have never shown any indication of struggling in any of my 3 majors and B: She, herself, was a college drop out after 1 semester from the 3rd worst state college in the US.
All of that was tangent to my main thesis, the enneagram compatibility with MBTI. I am the quintessential 4w3, I like to talk about myself, I have a drive to make the things around me beautiful by my standars, I must be different from everyone, going so far as to cease applauding people as I saw it as conforming to a primitive social ritual. I myself dilike being applauded for the same reason, I feel that after billions of years of biological evolution using are superior intellect we should be able to deviate from the norm, at least in this regard. I also have a high regard for art but I keep that to myself because I know that in the part of the country in which I live, and in this economic climate art of any kind is seen as pointless and therefore the person who makes art or talks about it or even publicly admits to liking it must also be worthless. I believe all of this, and so much more, should point to the fact that I am defiantly a 4. (though all 9 types can and do enjoy art, I am simply using art as the stereotype that generally is associated with this type in question)
As a child I enjoyed learning on my own about everything I could possibly think of, but I spent most of my time looking at the photographs in question, studying everything in the photograph and using it as a jumping off point for deeper thought. When I am given any form of information I attempt to find what wrong with it first, while the person talking to me is saying what they are attempting to articulate. I am ritualistic in many ways, I enjoy watching the same television shows at their predetermined time, but at the same time I am longing for something to happen to pull me out of this rut that I have fallen into. Everything I just listed supposedly point to Ne-Ti-Si but other cites I have consulted sites that claim Ni inferior Se.
My biggest fear in life is never amounting to any thing, I feel that at the end I may have wasted my life attempting to be something and met the same fate as 95% of the rest of the human race. Make no mistake, I do not seek fame but instead a actual contribution to the human race like Albert Einstein. This points to at least some form of type 3 enneagram. I like to show off my possessions, but only to the people in my environment who I want to make an impression on. I really dislike that about myself, I know it is petty and condescending. I do the same thing with my intelligence, someone will make a statement that is not based in fact and I will feel a need to correct them but I am stoped because I internally, in real time mind you, have a feeling almost like a voice saying "Don't you'll destroy their world view, you'll hurt them". I really dislike this push and pull, the need to be right but also loked is tiring. A am also sensitive to people who attempt to one up me. I had a friend when I was a freshman in college back in Spring of 2011 who attempted to make me and my friends feel bad because we were all humanities/social science majors and he was a Physics major and honors student. I actually am good at Physics, so I majored in that field just to one up him. Again, really petty. Not only did I want to one up him I wanted to destroy him for making the comments he made for about a month before I made this my mission in life about Econ being a field for morons, but destroy him. I exposed just his views on the universe being 6,000 years old (a physics major said this). I felt bad about doing it. I never want to hurt anyone until they hurt me (Fe?). Conversely, I will ask what other people think of me, so I can take being torn appart I just want to control the environment.
I never had the healthy environment emotionally to grow up in. My mother is just the worst person I know, I hat the way she treats everyone on the planet as the enemy. My father, and all the men around me as a child for that matter, were robots. Being in any way shape or form emotional was a display of weakness. As a result I feel like I am just plowing through humanity leaving destruction in my wake.
Some bullet points about me;
closed off from the world but very open to everyones ideas
Uncoordinated, (low Sensing of some kind)
prone to angry outburst
hard working when I want to be
Lazy most of the time
an information-slut (must get information!)
forgetful (cant remember if I shampooed my hair 30 seconds ago)
prone to obsessing about the object or field of study and not the people around me
prone to writing long post on Typologycentral.com
angry at religion and society
Thank you all for bearing with me, I am hopeful that my ramblings on will help to point out my type, or clear up the mistype that has occurred hear as this is possibly the best access I can give anyone to my internal stream of conciseness which at times seems somewhat Ni driven and at others Ne or even lead Ti. I can say that I feel like both an extravert and introvert so I can't really figure out where I get my energy from, people frustrate me but I also have a few friends, and am well liked by most people, so I am not totally closed off from people. I have read that introverted types are more pensive than extraverts, and that Ti and Fi tends to be the most pensive of all the functions. This would explain why ENFPs and ENTPs are so introverted. So, besides being an elitest jerk, what is my MBTI and Enneagram type?