I've been considering the functions of INFP, ENFP and ISFP, and even ISTJ to be somewhat like me at times. A majority of school life I was all tensed up and was generally the type to get asked whether I was "high?" but also get asked "why" I "was acting so depressed" or to "lighten up". I feel like at times I lose sight of the big picture, and most of all school I'm depressed due to me feeling as though I have "given in" to being a quiet person, a lifeless individual, that people could live without. I also had the urge to kill myself a couple of times because I was so depressed but that would only mean the loss of a son to my mother or my father who I know love me.
I've also noticed the archetype for an INFP being a person who heals instead of champions over. I've had fallouts with other types, and spilled profanity when I've gotten angry to the point of some physical violence (mostly with my family who were the ones made way for that sort of environment). Like I remember hitting someone after calling him a vulgar c-word or f-word and threatening to kick his a-word, when he started talking about 'doing it' with my sister to get on my nerves.
I've also had an encounter with some random hill billy like kids who were shouting at random strangers with profanity, so I shouted at them with profanity so they'd stop. They tried to get me to fight them but I didn't but I would have I guess, since it matched who I was 'being' at that moment. What I mean by all this is, I've had the urge to disregard feeling and champion over people for the situation's sake and values' sake I guess.
At times people can really get me angry, especially people who like to be cold and hard and logical straight in my face whenever I make a mistake, and I'm not afraid of yelling out at them or being "mean" which is something I've been accused of. This makes me wonder whether I'm INFP, because I've hurt people very deeply when it comes to emotions, but I feel that shame of doing it. And I feel as though I'm just narcissistic for being like that. That's not very INFP to cause conflict as response to the immense pain I feel, for random things that I wish I couldn't.
This also reflects off as a stark pessimism for humanity and neuroticism, where I get monotone-version over everything and reflect nothing but concentrated negativity. I would also allow myself to 'hate' on things that shouldn't be hated merely for the sake of it, in a social situation. Like I would be all scornful of some kids talking a bit loudly on the bus.
Practically the most annoying thing would be how instead of being an INFP and caving into myself, I get on the offense in all the wrong ways, and show scorn or bitterness and talk profanity or cold words that people notice out to be waayy to harsh as well.... if you get what i mean. (a good example was where I said "hilly billy kids" almost out of habit or something, instead of just calling them randoms or whatever... and an example of me doing unINFP things out of habit, is like when I use directing communication whenever something small comes up, like a guy starts tapping on my chair, who's sitting behind me, I'd turn around, tense up and go "Could you stop that... please" coldly... )
Am I a healthy MBTI type or am I alone on this one?