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6w5 or 6w7?

SilkRoad

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I'm pretty certain (about 90%) that I'm a type 6 - if I was 100% certain I probably wouldn't be a 6, right? :D

However, I'm not entirely sure about the wings. I've pretty much typed as 6w5, which I'd put down to being an introvert, intellectually inclined, and so on. The thing is, I've read 6w5 and 6w7 descriptions which I identify with to almost an equal degree. I mean, I'm an introvert but I'm not heavily introverted - more the "ambivert" type, though I have too many of the introvert characteristics to not be one.

I'm definitely more of a phobic 6 (with some definite counterphobic inclinations) and I've seen it suggested that 6w7s are more likely to be phobic. I'm certainly the type who "needs people", too - not in terms of always having to have warm bodies around, but in terms of needing to know I have friends in my life, being very attached to people in a non-obvious understated way, etc.

Not too worried about this honestly - knowing I'm type 6 has definitely helped me with some stuff but I have sort of come to think I have almost balanced wings, if that's possible. Just wondering if anyone else had thoughts.
 

Little_Sticks

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Oh, you know, 9 is supposed to be the integration point of 6, if that means all that much to you.
 

SilkRoad

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Oh, you know, 9 is supposed to be the integration point of 6, if that means all that much to you.

Yeah, I relate to type 9 in many ways, and debated for some time over whether I was a 6 or a 9. 6 suits me a lot better, though. Really just trying to figure out at this point if I'm more like a 6w5 or a 6w7. :)
 

Speed Gavroche

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6w9 doesn't exist.

So 6w5.
 

SilkRoad

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Bahaha...I meant 6w5 or 6w7. Of course. How do I edit the name of the thread?
 

SilkRoad

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Ok people, title fixed, so go ahead if you wish ;)
 

skylights

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Do you feel the 7ness of always looking to plan ahead, trying to gather more and more information, trying to experience more and more things, having difficulty choosing because you want everything, needing to try everything to see what you like most, and not feeling like you're very adept at making good choices for yourself?

I think that's what makes me decide w7 over w5, because I feel some degree of 5's stepping back into my mind too.
 

SilkRoad

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Do you feel the 7ness of always looking to plan ahead, trying to gather more and more information, trying to experience more and more things, having difficulty choosing because you want everything, needing to try everything to see what you like most, and not feeling like you're very adept at making good choices for yourself?

I think that's what makes me decide w7 over w5, because I feel some degree of 5's stepping back into my mind too.

Hmm. Not so much the way you describe, I have to say. It could be partly a difference between ENFP and INFJ. :) What I do relate to is "not feeling like I'm very adept at making good choices for myself." But that tends to be more...procrastination, and analysis paralysis, and second-guessing/not believing in myself enough, and being a bit afraid of taking the leap.

I do often feel as though I'd like to pay someone to make my major decisions. ;) A bit of a fear of responsibility too, perhaps. Though usually when I've made major decisions they have turned out ok...usually... But I really feel like I need friends and others who are supportive and could give me practical guidance and help if needed.

I should add that in terms of which type I relate to more on its own - 5 or 7 - it would have to be 5. I guess I relate to 7 in terms of wanting lots of interesting experiences, and having a sense of adventure. But overall I relate more to 5. However, as I've said elsewhere, neither of them are types I relate to very much. (I would relate more to 9, a bit to 1 or 2, and somewhat to 4.) So I'm more interested in that idea of the wings giving the type 6 a particular flavour.

I'm pretty middle-of-the-road in a lot of ways, so I suspect that just as I'm more phobic but not STRONGLY phobic, I'd probably be more one wing or the other but not to an extreme extent.
 

skylights

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:laugh: I would LOVE to pay someone to make my major decisions.

I did lift most of that wording right off the enneagraminstitute website, so hopefully it's pretty unbiased as far as INFJ-vs-ENFP goes. Though it also occurred to me while writing that w5 seems much more IJ overall while w7 seems much more EP overall.

Here's some stuff from mindheart.org. Maybe useful in terms of wing "flavor"?


six with seven wing


general description

When an average 6/7 feels anxious, the reaction is likely to be immediate and colorful. Unlike the more subdued 6/5, 6/7 is likely to react impulsively to stress. Instead of analyzing, 6/7 is more likely to sevenishly jump into action, sometimes in inappropriate ways. However, because the cautious sixness is more powerful than the flamboyant seven-wing, 6/7 usually pulls back from extremes before they become too threatening, unlike the even less predictable 7/6. This inner conflict between flamboyance and caution can produce a person who is emotionally rather volatile, similar in some ways to 4/3.


balanced and transcendent states

Balanced 6/7 has a feeling of firm steadiness, sure-footed and quiet. As sevenish impulsivity and sixish anxiety diminish, they are replaced by a calm deliberateness. Although fun and companionship are still highly valued, the desperate longing for security has been converted into inner strength. This is someone who can become a true brother or sister, or a genuinely loving parent.

With further development, 6/7 finds a deep sense of belonging to the universe, and to mankind. Nineish calm and sixish faith combine with sevenish joy and fiveish perception. This is a person who values the relationship with the One Greatest Authority over all others. Through gentle, tolerant brotherhood, extremely balanced 6/7 shares with others a sense of eternal companionship and security.


unbalanced and unhealthy states

Unbalanced 6/7 is usually visibly desperate. Anxiety and insecurity become powerful controlling influences. Jumping from one colorful emotional state to another, trying to find any way to quell the increasing sense of uncertainty and vulnerability, stressed 6/7 looks for someone out there who will help, but finds no one who can be trusted.

As tension mounts, highly stressed 6/7 will try anything to escape from the increasingly intolerable situations that arise. Others move away from a person whose impulsive grabbiness and dependent gestures become unpleasantly intrusive. Physical illness, car troubles, boyfriends, girlfriends, landlords, all become scapegoats for the real problem of inner helpless dependence. You are either all-good or all-bad, and whether I like you or not can change from moment to moment. My very identity splits into fragments as I desperately cut myself into pieces to escape the horrible sense of impending catastrophe.


physical appearance

6/7s can be quite physically attractive. The sixish desire to be liked combines with sevenish sensuality and vanity, and the result could be someone who can dress and act in a remarkably appealing way. There is sometimes a shy sort of cuteness, even in the males, or perhaps a macho sort of masculine charm or a coyly innocent feminine sexuality. 6/7 likes to be clearly of one sex or the other, unlike the more gender-neutral sevens.


callings

Some 6/7s find work that lets them have fun while feeling safe. Cartoonists, actors, comedians, magicians, social satirists, talk show hosts. Movie reviewers, baseball players, singers and performers. Others deliberately dive into adventure, becoming explorers, test pilots, tour guides, or travel reporters. There are 6/7 security guards, police officers, airline pilots, secretaries, bus drivers, and sports announcers. Of course, 6/7s can also be found doing many other kinds of work.



six with five wing


general description

In average 6/5, the sixish need to feel safe among friends is colored by a fiveish desire to pick things apart into their components. As a result, 6/5 is more likely than 6/7 to join groups whose memberships are highly homogeneous, and thus easier to understand. Unlike the more analytic 5/6, 6/5 is more interested in being liked than in understanding the situation, although both are important. 6/5 is typically a traditional, conservative person who wants to fit into a safe, trustworthy group.


balanced and transcendent states

As balanced 6/5 becomes free of anxiety and reductionistic analysis, an endearing kind of gentility and good humor begins to emerge. Here is someone who laughs easily, with almost a sense of relief. Can it really be so simple to live and enjoy life? There is a feeling of relaxed good nature and certainty. This is a person you can trust, someone to rely on for true friendship.

With still further depth of understanding, 6/5 turns into a warm and deeply loving brother or sister, someone who is in touch with a real universal authority, internally and eternally available. 6/5 acts with quiet confidence, coming from a place of peaceful faith. Essential sixness brings deep interpersonal bonding, essential fiveness builds penetrating perception, and nineish tranquility combines with eightish personal power.


unbalanced and unhealthy states

Unbalanced 6/5 begins to feel anxious and wants to run away to some protected place. Unable to trust inner or outer authority, a search begins for some explanation for the constant tension. Others are easy to blame, and by projecting the causes of anxiety outward, 6/5 can find a temporary kind of release.

But with increased stress, 6/5 loses faith in the blaming. No explanation for the anxiety satisfies, and the world begins to seem like a horrible, frightening game. Paranoia escalates. Very unbalanced 6/5 bounces rapidly from fearful withdrawal to tense, overconfident pretense. Everyone is out to get me, and there is no place to run. I'm frightened out of my wits, and I know I am headed for a complete breakdown, but maybe if I can get myself into enough trouble someone will come and rescue me.


physical appearance

6/5 has the sixish desire to be attractive and likable, but the five wing's withdrawing, analytical nature sometimes makes it hard to know what it takes to be appealing. 6/5 can be extremely attractive, or somewhat scruffy, depending on level of balance and the strength of the wing. Sometimes 6/5 puts on a show of false toughness, dressing in utilitarian, unattractive clothes and assuming defensive, accusatory postures. Others prefer nonthreatening but stylish attire. It is rare to see a 6/5 who stands out because of exceptionally colorful clothing.


callings

Some 6/5s find work that combines belonging to a group with being alone. Janitors, forest rangers, taxi drivers, bus drivers. They might like to be involved in serious, dangerous protection activities, as police officers, fire fighters, spies, private investigators, paramedics, or ambulance drivers. Others pursue risky hobbies like hang-gliding, rock climbing, skydiving, or scuba while working as architects, train conductors, or electrical engineers. Some find ways to protect underprivileged people, becoming defense attorneys, politicians, or other sorts of advocates. There are 6/5 construction engineers, sanitary engineers, and evangelical ministers. Of course, 6/5s can also be found doing many other kinds of work.
 

Forever_Jung

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I don't know you IRL, but you strike me much more as a 6w5. 6w7s seem much more obviously neurotic and self-conscious, but it's hard to tell online sometimes. And actually I had read 6w5 is the phobic one, since the 7ish extraversion prompts the 6 to more directly face their fears, while the withdrawn 5 tendencies tend to wait things out/avoid/hide. I think the phobic/counterphobic thing has more to do with instinctual stackings than wings though.
 

SilkRoad

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Thank you for the input, guys and gals... THinking about this a bit more. I don't have anything too fantastic to add so I won't post more till I do. :D But on the whole, 6w5 probably does fit me best. (I'm kind of neurotic and self-conscious, for sure...but I keep it fairly well hidden, at least IRL...) It would make sense, though, to also see some of the w7 in myself.
 

highlander

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I'm pretty certain (about 90%) that I'm a type 6 - if I was 100% certain I probably wouldn't be a 6, right? :D

However, I'm not entirely sure about the wings. I've pretty much typed as 6w5, which I'd put down to being an introvert, intellectually inclined, and so on. The thing is, I've read 6w5 and 6w7 descriptions which I identify with to almost an equal degree. I mean, I'm an introvert but I'm not heavily introverted - more the "ambivert" type, though I have too many of the introvert characteristics to not be one.

I had the same problem. The way I decided was this - if there was no such thing as a 6, would I be a 5 or a 7? Then the answer became obvious. Not sure if that method is valid but it's what I did.
 

SilkRoad

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I had the same problem. The way I decided was this - if there was no such thing as a 6, would I be a 5 or a 7? Then the answer became obvious. Not sure if that method is valid but it's what I did.

Yeah, by that test I'd have to be a 5. Even though it's not a type I identify with much - but more so than 7, for sure.
 

Speed Gavroche

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6w5 Sp/Sx


6w7 Sp/Sx

 

highlander

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Take a close look at this


Specifically:
"Wing
If you are the Enneagram Type 6 with the 5 Wing, you desire to appear remote. You see yourself as faithful, knowing, intelligent, refined, real and brave.

If you are the Enneagram Type 6 with the 7 Wing, you desire to appear conformist. You see yourself as loyal, casual, related, interested, energetic, warm and wary."


For me, it very much confirms the 6w5 for me vs 6w7. I'd never seen anything in writing that was conclusive till finding this.
 

SilkRoad

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Take a close look at this


Specifically:
"Wing
If you are the Enneagram Type 6 with the 5 Wing, you desire to appear remote. You see yourself as faithful, knowing, intelligent, refined, real and brave.

If you are the Enneagram Type 6 with the 7 Wing, you desire to appear conformist. You see yourself as loyal, casual, related, interested, energetic, warm and wary."


For me, it very much confirms the 6w5 for me vs 6w7. I'd never seen anything in writing that was conclusive till finding this.

Oh, that's interesting. Thank you. I actually identify quite a bit with aspects of both of those (though in neither case do I identify with all of them). :) So I can't say it makes it conclusive for me!

I have to say that for an INTJ, 6w5 seems the more likely option for sure for INTJ type 6s. Perhaps it's a bit less definite with INFJ... Perhaps I do just have fairly balanced wings; I think that's a possibility.


EDIT: I'd say I don't particularly identify with being "remote", for 6w5. But I identify with most of the other points. And I'm not too sure about "casual" and "energetic" (I'm really not energetic!) for 6w7, but most of the other stuff, yes.
 

highlander

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I'd say I don't particularly identify with being "remote", for 6w5. But I identify with most of the other points.

Same here. I think you are right about INTJs being lore likely to be 6w5s. Duh :).
 

geedoenfj

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Oh my God, now I'm confused, I relate to both!
Ok I need some more reading to both of them
 

Tilt

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[MENTION=26281]geedoenfj[/MENTION]: 6w7 all the way.
 
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