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Thread: Something's not right with this INFJ "diagnosis"....

  1. #1

    Default Something's not right with this INFJ "diagnosis"....

    Hi guys, I'm Bon, otherwise known as LittleTalks

    I've identified as INFJ for as long as I've known about MBTI, which is going on about nine years. I've never been officially typed, but I first tested as an INFJ, and further tests have said the same thing....confirmation bias, I guess?

    What has confused me is the fact that I've been part of an INFJ MBTI community for about a year, but I don't feel terribly connected to them, nor do I see a lot of similarities between what they post and I want to post.....

    This has left me wondering if I am actually an INFJ at all.

    When I was first tested as an INFJ, I was under a huge amount of stress, and was tested in a workplace environment severely disaligned to my natural capabilities and where I felt like a total fish out of water (I was working in a team group of 6 ISTJs - all accountants - and one INFP). I was only 20/21.

    These are the things that lead me to query the fact that I'm an INFJ/sit on the fence......anyway, here are a few characteristics:

    -I'm inherently attracted and have worked in busy, go-go-go, complex jobs involving heaps of communication and people contact. Generally, relationship management, case management, a little bit of training, journalism, youth work, project development (I've really had quite a varied career). I can deal with all sorts of people - I've worked with big corporates, tradespeople, teenagers, teachers, highly marginalised people.....

    -I do need downtime for "me", but I am starting to wonder if that is because I've needed to develop this part of myself because I've been single for an extended period. I lived totally alone for two and a half years, and I didn't totally love it. It was a little too much solitude for me

    -I don't really get that predictive mystical feeling a lot of INFJs get, but I am rather pragmatic, open minded, and believe anything is possible under the right circumstances but that most things follow a fairly standard pattern. I DO seem to have a sixth sense to predict corporate downfall or structures that disintegrate, and I'm also pretty good at picking couples that won't last.

    -I spend a lot of time thinking about people and how individuals work.

    -I think I'm caretaking but I like to help people by providing information or tools to help themselves.

    Things that I find hard:

    -Sales-y types and/or behaviour: I HATE hype. I can see through sales techniques easily and I hate people hyping up things to sell them. I think good things sell themselves.

    -I hate "selling" for the sake of selling, in all aspects of my life - I don't like the idea of traditional "sell yourself" dating, and I don't like having to make marketing calls for a crappy service, but I don't have generally inherent problems with promoting or publicising something I believe in, and I have good instincts in doing so - I've been able to grow a couple of really large youth programs (and teenagers are not an easy sell).

    -I'm not terribly externally organised, I get a bit flustered, and I tend to be a bit unaware of my surroundings - but more in a "poor spatial awareness" way than a "poor social cues" way

    Things that I struggle with

    -Super judgemental people (I consider myself really openminded).
    -People that don't openly talk about their feelings.

    The one thing I have realised I really struggle with is dealing with and identifying jealous behaviour towards me. It makes my head spin. I don't think I'm a very jealous person at all, but I've had some really HUGE, nasty issues with people who (in hindsight and after much discussion) have been jealous for one reason or another that I would never have predicted. Of late, though, I've realised that previous strategies of befriending or trying to expose some weaknesses to these people don't work, and I tend to keep them on the periphary of my life...

    So, after that brain dump, does anyone have any initial instincts about whether I am in fact an INFJ or not, and what I might be? I'm still suspecting an N and F, but I was never very strong on the I testing and not at all convinced on the J....

    Throw questions my way, I'm all ears...

  2. #2


    To follow up, I've just retested on HumanMetrics, and got Extravert(1%) iNtuitive(62%) iNtuitive Feeling(62%) Judging(33%). Thoughts?

  3. #3
    In orbit Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    4w3 sx


    I identify with what you're saying and I'm an INFJ, as far as I know. Or to put more accurately, as I believe my preferred cognitive functions go.
    I know what you mean...It's sometimes a bit more "Etiquette and manners" and "Dear Abby" in virtual INFJ universe and it's not really my cup of tea, even though I am interested in people. I place more value the kind of real world effective ability to deal and work with varied types of people rather than the theoretical aspect of it ...though I understand if it's meaningful and interesting for some. ...and I'm sure it's also just a past time like any other.

    On enjoying more high intensity environments: I have been home on maternity leave after a having a very busy lifestyle with plenty of social interaction and I personally find it very challenging after a certain point. To put it nicely I'm bored out of my mind.

    Organization: Im also not very organized, except when it comes to my personal project folder. I find the J in my case does not relate to objects in my environment so much. I do usually have my projects organized in my head, with all relevant ideas and parts stored neatly in my mental filing cabinet for further use.

    As for the jealousy issue, I've had serious problems with people trying to actually intentionally sabotage me. I find it very upsetting, but it really comes with accomplishment, no matter what your type. You're going to make enemies for seemingly unfair reasons.

    Now that all said I'm a proper airy fairy mystical INFJ...but most aren't and find references to mysticism and such a bit of a pain in the butt, from what I've gathered. So not being mystical does not equate non-INFJ.

    None of what you say excludes INFJ as type. It's still possible that you are another type if you think INFJ doesn't seem like a good fit. I would suggest taking a cognitive functions test to further clarify.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array King sns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    6w7 sp/sx


    First thought is enfj.....

    Thought of a few other types completely different but enfj seems to be falling into place in my head.

    You may want to read more about cognitive functions.

    INFJ seems unlikely, they are like really disconnected sometimes.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  5. #5
    Iron Maiden Array fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    1w2 so/sx


    You may want to consider enneagram type's role in this. I am a 1w2 with so/sx stacking and I think for this reason I am a little atypical of some 4w5 (or 5w4) sp/sx types that are more common among the INFJs. I work with people of all ages throughout my whole day and while I do need some downtime alone, I also get wilty without people.

    I would also suggest looking into the possibility of ENFJ. They are fairly introverted extroverts in some regards.

    One of the main differences I notice between me and ENFJs is that they tend to speak their mind much more forthrightly than INFJs (who often have more difficulty deciding whether something is worth making a big deal of or not). In short, ENFJs tend to talk first and then rethink whether they should of later while INFJs don't talk and then wish they had. (Of course that's a broad generalization, but seems to hold true for the ones I know anyhow).

    Another difference I've found is that ENFJs tend to be more private in some regards about their inner world than INFJs. I'm not sure of the reason for this, but often an ENFJ is a master at getting others to talk about themselves, without allowing the conversation to rest on the ENFJ for very long. It seems to me that they need to be really sure that they aren't imposing being opening up happens and even that is with a very select few.

  6. #6
    In orbit Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    4w3 sx


    It's fairly easy to suss out wether you're an INFJ or an ENFJ. I do think ENFJs are a whole lot more outgoing. I'd consider myself outgoing, though I tend to always prefer to be around people I know somewhat. One of my best friends is an ENFJ and she just befriends everyone, really. She's outgoing and some. She is very open. Travels by herself. Just engages strangers into conversations...not what I typically the again. What level of social openness are you comparing yourself to is the question...
    I think @fidelia has a good point about the enneagram. I find I feel more similar in terms of how my personality manifests and what I'm interested in more according to my enneagram type. I feel more alike personality wise with 4w3 than I necessarily do with INFJs, though there are obviously similarities in how we process things.

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