here's another questionnaire compliments of personality cafe. reading these answers through, I'm beginning to think he is an 8 rather than a 1
1. What would you say to a 5-year-old child if he or she asked you what the purpose of life is?
find what you believe in and let that give you the strength to pursue your desires
2. What type of advice would you give that same child on how to survive in this world?
life is hard. The world will step on you, beat you, mistreat you and force unfair circumstances on you against your will, but hang in there. You will get stronger and once you do, it gets easier. Eventually, you can have the strength to defend yourself and those you care about and carve out a meaningful live for yourself in this world.
3. If you were told you only had one year to live from today, and it was 100% guaranteed that you would die exactly 1 year from now, what would you do in that year? Note: Your health will be fine all the way up to the end.
I wouldn’t do anything different. I’ve faced death more times that I can count. After awhile, it begins to stop affecting your decisions
4. Why aren't you doing this now?
5. What are your defense mechanisms? i.e. When you start to feel uncomfortable or anxious about a situation, what do you generally start to do?
- becoming cold, rigid and condemning
- Seize control when necessary
- Close myself off emotionally
- When I’m really desperate for affection, I’ll look for people who are in distress and comfort them, thus, experiencing intimacy without having to open myself up emotionally (this helps short term, but it does little for me long term)
- I project my high standards onto others when I myself am not meeting them
6. What does your heart feel like it needs and wants? What does your head say it needs and wants? What does your body say it needs and wants?
heart: love, lots of cuddling, someone I can protect
Head: adventure, stimulation, personal growth
Gut: peace, relaxation, the ability to let go, freedom
7. What condition is your heart in right now? What condition is your mind in right now? What condition is your body in right now?
heart: bleeding, sore, but recovering. It’s sort of like what I would imagine a patient would feel like after an invasive operation to fix a serious medical issue they’d been ignoring for a long time (left fatigued, sore and temporarily weakened, but overall it’s feels much better than before the problem was dealt with) Now I just need time to heal and get back in touch with it
Head: in pretty good condition, sharp from years of strategy and battle plans and reinforced by solid beliefs and perspective.
Gut: over exerted. Like a panther has been clawing it ferociously ready to rip out at any moment. I will say this for my gut though, it’s there when I need it.
8. What are your predominant faults?
- Stubborn. It’s my way or the highway
- Lack of adaptability. I have trouble that sometimes I need to adapt myself to my environment rather than forcing my environment to adapt itself to me and my preferences and beliefs
- Seething anger, resentment, misanthropy and indignation that periodically erupt when I am under stress
- Being overly idealistic and allowing my passion to cloud my judgment
- Ruthless, excessive and merciless
- I have a rather large ego that I struggle to contain at times
- I tend to have a cold, misanthropic of humanity (ie, the lot of them are morally corrupt swine who will do anything just because someone else tells them they should. I tend to think that my strong convictions make me superior to most other people)
- Similarly, I can highly judgmental of other’s beliefs and character under pressure
9. Think of a time when you felt at ease and connected to yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
Surprisingly, my natural demeanor is rather androgynous. People who see me at my best often have a hard time recognizing me from my “professional” self. I would say at my best I embody a healthy balance of masculine and feminine energies. Despite my often hard, determined exterior, I’m really quite playful. I love to sing, engage in lively conversation, dance, make perverted jokes and comfort those close to me. During this time, my natural silliness shines through and I actually look my age.
My father used to criticize my “maternal instincts” so I hid them from him at an early age and replaced them with a hard, icy exterior (ever since I can remember, even before the death of my brother, things were always hostile and I had thoughts of killing him frequently. In fact, I have a strong urge to kill anyone who doesn’t allow me to express myself). When I am allowed to be myself though, these characteristics shine through.
On the other hand, when I’m at my best, I view myself as a protector of sorts. People close to me have always sort of turned to me for direction, security and guidance and I think of myself as a natural leader with a “strength of a sword, subtly of a pen” sort of approach to things.
10. Think of a time when you felt anxious and disconnected from yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
I was dehumanized, full of rage, aggression and a desire to vanquish my enemy at all costs. Nothing else really mattered. In the beginning, I was fighting for my ideals, to restore freedom to a dictatorial political system and protect the weak from those who abuse their power, but I slowly found myself becoming a monster similar to if not more terrible than that which I was trying to vanquish.
During this time, everything becomes a weapon, even my sexuality, which I have used to seduce and kill several political rivals (including a pedophile queen when I was 14 LOL)
11. What is an addiction or urge that seems to drive you almost as if you’re not in control? Almost like an alien force that drives or pushes you down.
[/B]bloodlust. I am slow to anger, but if someone does manage to hurt me, they will submit completely or I will crush them.
12. What do you need in your life to face your fears?
My ideals are the foundation of my strength. They burn within me like a white flame