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  1. #1
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    Default My boyfriend: ESTJ or ENTJ?

    Just can't tell what he is since he seems to have attributes from both types. Here are the things about him to consider:

    -He requires a bit more explanation of abstract concepts in order to understand them.

    -He's generally a fast learner of things he sets his mind on.

    -He is normally unconcerned with symbolism. He doesn't feel the need to analyze everything. For example, he once took a photography class and had to write an essay about the deeper meaning of certain pieces of art. I had to help him a lot with this paper, since he struggled with looking beyond the photograph and seeing the bigger meaning behind it.

    -He is naturally rebellious and when there are rules imposed on him that he doesn't like, he may try to find a way to exploit or find a loophole in them. He was very rebellious towards his parents when they did things he found unreasonable. He will only mindlessly follow orders if he absolutely has to, like in a job or if he's threatened otherwise.

    -He deals with problems as they come, living in the moment. He finds it useless to worry about something that hasn't happened yet. This isn't to say that he NEVER thinks about the future - he has worries and doubts like everyone else, but doesn't wallow in them. He much prefers to take steps to handle his current situation.

    -Tact is not something that comes naturally to him. People too often mistake him for being offensive in how he presents his opinions. Again, he will be tactful ONLY if he feels that he really needs to (like not talking to your boss in a certain way). When he's just being himself, he might come across as overly blunt and insensitive to others' viewpoints. He has the ABILITY to be diplomatic, he just usually doesn't care enough to.

    -I'm one of the only people he will show his emotions around, alongside close family. Even so, he hates talking about his negative emotions because he feels weak in doing so. He doesn't have any issues telling me he loves me, though he's not in touch with his emotions and struggles at being very romantic.

    -He does not care what others think of him at all, unless of course he's in a job situation.

    -I can't tell if he's more of the type to analyze a situation before jumping in, or acting before thinking. There were definitely times where he learned the hard way, through actual experience. But there are also situations where he's able to analyze something before acting on it. If he KNOWS something is bad, he will not try it (he is firmly anti-alcohol and anti-drugs). But if he's not morally opposed to something, he'll have no problems doing it and then handling the consequences later.

    -Tradition is not something he cares about unless it's a method that's proved to be good and/or efficient. He will not stick to a traditional method that he finds unreliable or useless, or makes no sense.

    -He has strong moral values that he applies to both himself and those around him.

    -Sometimes he's creative, other times he isn't. Not a visionary, but not completely in the box either.

    -He's not the best at considering others' viewpoints. He will LISTEN to it, but he is quick to disregard opposing opinions unless he is given strict empirical proof that he's wrong.

    -He is very, very quick on his feet. He's a fantastic debater and a fast thinker. He made almost perfect scores on his SAT tests if that's useful information at all.

    -He is not a stiffler at all and is very laid back. He loves to crack jokes and have fun, even if he's at work. He can be loud and boisterous and teasing.

    -He's a hard worker and has a healthy "get it done" attitude.

    -He's great at explaining things to people in an articulate way so that they'll understand exactly what he's trying to get across.

    -He definitely doesn't care about personality typing. :P I've tried to talk about it with him a few times, and he'll try to listen because he loves me, but I can tell that it's just not something he finds useful.

    -I've researched a bit on the differences between Ni and Si, which I know is the big difference between ENTJ and ESTJ. After trying to explain each concept to him, he says that he feels like BOTH are important to have and that people shouldn't just ignore one. He doesn't completely identify with one or the other; he feels like he uses both depending on what he feels is appropriate for the situation.

    -He's a game design major. I asked him if he would be working more with the practical elements like programming, or theoretical parts (speculating whether certain game mechanics would be fun or not). He said he wants to do both.

    Sorry for the long post! It's just so difficult to tell with him and I'd really love some input.

  2. #2
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Sounds fairly ESTJ but idk.

    Give him an orange.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  3. #3
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    When he's explaining things to others, does he use a step by step approach? Is detail of the utmost importance to him when trying to understand a concept?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    When he's explaining things to others, does he use a step by step approach? Is detail of the utmost importance to him when trying to understand a concept?
    Kind of. When he's trying to teach something, he can explain it to someone like they're five. He doesn't explain things using vague language most of the time.

    And yeah. When he's learning, it needs to be explained to him in a way that's scientific and precise. It's often hard for me to explain my abstract thoughts to him since it's kind of like a WEB of thought, whereas he thinks in a straight line. He requires a more direct approach.

  5. #5
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Estj

  6. #6
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catzilla View Post
    Kind of. When he's trying to teach something, he can explain it to someone like they're five. He doesn't explain things using vague language most of the time.

    And yeah. When he's learning, it needs to be explained to him in a way that's scientific and precise. It's often hard for me to explain my abstract thoughts to him since it's kind of like a WEB of thought, whereas he thinks in a straight line. He requires a more direct approach.
    In other words, here's how you wipe your mouth:
    • Pick up the napkin with your right hand.
    • Place napkin on the left side of your mouth.
    • Drag napkin across mouth with a horizontal movement towards the right side of mouth.
    • Now drag napkin horizontally right to left.
    • Put the napkin down.


    Or....

    The reason you're wiping your mouth is to remove food particles from the exterior. Here's a napkin. Now do it.

    Which of two would describe him?

  7. #7
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    In other words, here's how you wipe your mouth:
    Pick up the napkin with your right hand.
    Place napkin on the left side of your mouth.
    Drag napkin across mouth with a horizontal movement towards the right side of mouth.
    Now drag napkin horizontally right to left.
    Put the napkin down.

    Or....

    The reason you're wiping your mouth is to remove food particles from the exterior. Here's a napkin. Now do it.
    Well if it's a simple concept like using a NAPKIN, then he'll use that second explanation you listed. But if he's explaining something with more complexity that the average person wouldn't understand, he will use a lot more detail. He works in tech support and has a lot of clueless people call in, wanting their computers fixed. He takes a VERY slow and step-by-step approach with technologically-challenged customers at his job, and he's good at it. He'll use the same method if he's helping other people with computers outside his job too.

  8. #8
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    ESTJ

  9. #9
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catzilla View Post
    Well if it's a simple concept like using a NAPKIN, then he'll use that second explanation you listed. But if he's explaining something with more complexity that the average person wouldn't understand, he will use a lot more detail. He works in tech support and has a lot of clueless people call in, wanting their computers fixed. He takes a VERY slow and step-by-step approach with technologically-challenged customers at his job, and he's good at it. He'll use the same method if he's helping other people with computers outside his job too.
    ESTJ.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catzilla View Post
    Just can't tell what he is since he seems to have attributes from both types. Here are the things about him to consider:

    -He requires a bit more explanation of abstract concepts in order to understand them.

    -He's generally a fast learner of things he sets his mind on.

    -He is normally unconcerned with symbolism. He doesn't feel the need to analyze everything. For example, he once took a photography class and had to write an essay about the deeper meaning of certain pieces of art. I had to help him a lot with this paper, since he struggled with looking beyond the photograph and seeing the bigger meaning behind it.

    -He is naturally rebellious and when there are rules imposed on him that he doesn't like, he may try to find a way to exploit or find a loophole in them. He was very rebellious towards his parents when they did things he found unreasonable. He will only mindlessly follow orders if he absolutely has to, like in a job or if he's threatened otherwise.

    -He deals with problems as they come, living in the moment. He finds it useless to worry about something that hasn't happened yet. This isn't to say that he NEVER thinks about the future - he has worries and doubts like everyone else, but doesn't wallow in them. He much prefers to take steps to handle his current situation.

    -Tact is not something that comes naturally to him. People too often mistake him for being offensive in how he presents his opinions. Again, he will be tactful ONLY if he feels that he really needs to (like not talking to your boss in a certain way). When he's just being himself, he might come across as overly blunt and insensitive to others' viewpoints. He has the ABILITY to be diplomatic, he just usually doesn't care enough to.

    -I'm one of the only people he will show his emotions around, alongside close family. Even so, he hates talking about his negative emotions because he feels weak in doing so. He doesn't have any issues telling me he loves me, though he's not in touch with his emotions and struggles at being very romantic.

    -He does not care what others think of him at all, unless of course he's in a job situation.

    -I can't tell if he's more of the type to analyze a situation before jumping in, or acting before thinking. There were definitely times where he learned the hard way, through actual experience. But there are also situations where he's able to analyze something before acting on it. If he KNOWS something is bad, he will not try it (he is firmly anti-alcohol and anti-drugs). But if he's not morally opposed to something, he'll have no problems doing it and then handling the consequences later.

    -Tradition is not something he cares about unless it's a method that's proved to be good and/or efficient. He will not stick to a traditional method that he finds unreliable or useless, or makes no sense.

    -He has strong moral values that he applies to both himself and those around him.

    -Sometimes he's creative, other times he isn't. Not a visionary, but not completely in the box either.

    -He's not the best at considering others' viewpoints. He will LISTEN to it, but he is quick to disregard opposing opinions unless he is given strict empirical proof that he's wrong.

    -He is very, very quick on his feet. He's a fantastic debater and a fast thinker. He made almost perfect scores on his SAT tests if that's useful information at all.

    -He is not a stiffler at all and is very laid back. He loves to crack jokes and have fun, even if he's at work. He can be loud and boisterous and teasing.

    -He's a hard worker and has a healthy "get it done" attitude.

    -He's great at explaining things to people in an articulate way so that they'll understand exactly what he's trying to get across.

    -He definitely doesn't care about personality typing. :P I've tried to talk about it with him a few times, and he'll try to listen because he loves me, but I can tell that it's just not something he finds useful.

    -I've researched a bit on the differences between Ni and Si, which I know is the big difference between ENTJ and ESTJ. After trying to explain each concept to him, he says that he feels like BOTH are important to have and that people shouldn't just ignore one. He doesn't completely identify with one or the other; he feels like he uses both depending on what he feels is appropriate for the situation.

    -He's a game design major. I asked him if he would be working more with the practical elements like programming, or theoretical parts (speculating whether certain game mechanics would be fun or not). He said he wants to do both.
    .
    Great description, thanks!…. sounds exactly like my ESTJ. Only exception is the part about thinking on his feet, that stresses him out. Maybe that's an enneagram thing, though.

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