Damnit! I might be an Sx dom!

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=6877]Marmotini[/MENTION]
I related to
Sx/So>Sx/Sp>Sp/Sx (frankly, most of the Sp/Sx songs were fucking boring, except this one, which was bad ass despite the fact that I don't normally like country music)

Edit:
[MENTION=13377]pinkgraffiti[/MENTION]
- 7 is in the head triad; 1 is in the gut triad. if I seem jittery, it's more likely I'm a 7 than a 1 (I do have a VERY strong 1 fix though, so that probably adds to it)
- 7w6s especially often have a "nervous" sort of energy to them

 

[Thalassa]

Ehhh...from the stuff you posted I think you may be an sx dom.

It actually makes sense with your intensity, I mean your presence on the forum.

 

[Elfboy]

Ehhh...from the stuff you posted I think you may be an sx dom.

It actually makes sense with your intensity, I mean your presence on the forum.

you have a point, my presence certainly attracts more attention that the vast majority of Sp/Sx's

 

[Thalassa]

Also, I liked some of the sp/sx songs, but they're songs I would only listen to *in a certain mood*...like I wouldn't call sp my main instinct if this is sp/sx...because frankly I love Sade, and that Inland Empire song is cool too, but yeah it's too mellow for me to listen on regular basis, it's a particular atmospheric mood, or when I'm feeling a need to turn inward if I'm sad or something, or you know when you're having sexy times in a low key bedroom atmosphere and plan to sleep afterward.

ATMOSPHERE ATMOSPHERE ATMOSPHERE!!!

Yes, this music has it's place for me, but not too much as what I'd listen to on a daily basis, I would get too bored, as you say.

The so/sx is definitely not me, though. Half of them aren't even music, and the ones that are seems kind of fun but "empty" like the Bloodhound Gang song I do like, it is fun, or that lame club song. But it's too "light" to be me, I'm definitely not an so dom, I don't how I come across on the forum (in reference to speed saying I was so/sx, kind of Hillary Duff), but I ain't that light. Nope.

I think so dom ones (like the so/sp as well) are too "talky" and not musical enough, so that's another red flag to me, personally.

Yeah, I'll state again, if you're easily bored by mellow music, I really think that points to sx dom needing intensity.

 

[Elfboy]

Also, I liked some of the sp/sx songs, but they're songs I would only listen to *in a certain mood*...like I wouldn't call sp my main instinct if this is sp/sx...because frankly I love Sade, and that Inland Empire song is cool too, but yeah it's too mellow for me to listen on regular basis, it's a particular atmospheric mood, or when I'm feeling a need to turn inward if I'm sad or something, or you know when you're having sexy times in a low key bedroom atmosphere and plan to sleep afterward.

"mellow" music bores me to tears.

ATMOSPHERE ATMOSPHERE ATMOSPHERE!!!
Yes, this music has it's place for me, but not too much as what I'd listen to on a daily basis, I would get too bored, as you say.
The so/sx is definitely not me, though. Half of them aren't even music, and the ones that are seems kind of fun but "empty" like the Bloodhound Gang song I do like, it is fun, or that lame club song. But it's too "light" to be me, I'm definitely not an so dom, I don't how I come across on the forum (in reference to speed saying I was so/sx, kind of Hillary Duff), but I ain't that light. Nope.
I think so dom ones (like the so/sp as well) are too "talky" and not musical enough, so that's another red flag to me, personally.
Yeah, I'll state again, if you're easily bored by mellow music, I really think that points to sx dom needing intensity.

you're definitely not So/Sx, I see you as Sx/So personally, but I could see either Sx/Sp or Sx/So

 

[Thalassa]

Thank you, [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION], because of your thread I've decided I'm sx/so; not just from the music (that helped) but from your suggestion as well, then I looked at the sx/so stacking for type 6, calling them "four like" and acting out in anger, or getting depressed when unhealthy, then appearing 8 like while defending either loved ones or their social standing. God could that be more me?



Thanks for your awesome thread. Now I'm going to post the stackings for sx/sp and sp/sx and sx/so for type 7 so you can read them and decide which one you think YOU are:

Self-pres/Sexual

This subtype is similar to the self-pres/social, but their plans and pursuits are more passionate in nature. There is often more of an artistic flair. They can be moodier then the other subtype. Their focus is more on relationships, although commitment can also be a problem for this subtype. This subtype can even be known to use introspection as an escape. They can go inward with a seeming depth, but they will usually avoid the most troublesome areas, the areas and characteristics most painful to them.

This subtype of Seven is overall more focused than the self-pres/social. Their focus is on their intimates although certainly not solely on them as they usually have many other fires burning also. They generally have a great sense of humor, sharp quick minds and many interests. These qualities might be common to all subtypes of the Seven, but in the self-pres/sexual subtype, the infusion of enthusiasm comes through when they are engaged in their plans and fulfilling them.



========

Sexual/Self-pres


The energy of the sexual instinct is, in some ways, at odds with the type Seven fixation. The Seven’s focus is future oriented and outward, away from the inner world, while the sexual variant is instinctual and dwells on the inner self as far as relationships and identity are concerned. This combination can make for a Seven that can be Four-like in many ways. They can have a flamboyant style and be very moody and intense. In relationships, there is often a push-pull quality. They are very attracted to the falling in love part. The buzz and high of that is very stimulating to them, almost drug-like for them. Their problems come when that buzz wears off. They want to recreate it again and again, but they also have a way of becoming attached and sometimes very dependent on their romantic partners. On the down side, they can be very clingy but don’t want at the same time to lose their freedom. When unhealthy, they can be very selfish in these relationships, things become one-sided in a way that favors the interests of the Seven.

The sexual/self-pres Seven’s addictive behavior with relationships can extend to other areas, like music, and performing in general. The rock star image and lifestyle can be attractive to the sexual Seven. Many rock stars are sexual Sevens the buzz they experience from music can be similar to what they experience in relationships. Creativity can also function as a release of frustration from the boredom.




===============================

Sexual/Social

This subtype has a lot of energy, crazy, intense energy and this energy is going to find a way to manifest. This subtype of Seven can have the biggest extremes in behavior and with material success in life. With the self-pres instinct last in the stacking they aren’t afraid of taking risks, so they sometimes become very successful, as in the case of rock stars, but they typically also take too many risks, look for too many easy ways out. With the self-pres least developed, they can become dependent on others to add a much needed stabilizing element to their busy hedonistic lives. They have many of the same issues and share many of the same problems as the other sexual first subtype with regards to relationship addiction and have even more dependency issues then the sexual/self-pres. They can lose focus and drift similar to the social/sexual subtype and their high energy can likewise be draining for others.


With this subtype, you have drama mixed with mental energy. What separates them from Fours who they might resemble superficially is their planning and future orientation. Their drama and intensity is focused on what they are going to do, not on what has happened. They are usually blind to their past, moving forward and not looking back.

 

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=6877]Marmotini[/MENTION]
thanks, and glad I could help

overall, I related about equally to the Sp/Sx and Sx/Sp descriptions. here are the Riso Hudson descriptions of Sp dom 7s and Sx dom 7s (I related 100% to the Sp dom description and about 90% to the Sx dom description)

Self-Preservation Sevens

Getting Mine. In the average range, Self-Preservation Sevens are determined, energetic people, driven to make sure that their basic needs and comforts will always be met. Their attitudes and concerns tend to emphasize the practical and the material. (In the immortal words of Scarlett O'Hara, "As God is my witness, I will never go hungry again!") They tend to be ambitious and work hard to insure that options will remain open to them.

Self-Preservation Sevens are also classic consumers. They enjoy shopping, traveling, and pampering themselves, making it their business to gather information about the potential sources of enjoyment (catalogues, movie listings, travel and restaurant guides). These Sevens are especially on the lookout for sales and bargains, and like discussing these matters with friends. ("I just found the most darling mugs at the Pottery Barn.") While they enjoy socializing, Self-Preservation Sevens fear developing dependencies on others and avoid having others depend on them.

Less healthy Self-Preservation Sevens can feel impatient and panicky when their needs are not quickly met. They often experience anxieties about the loss of comforts or of material support and easily feel deprived. (Fears about going hungry are not uncommon.) They can be extremely demanding and cranky when frustrated, expecting others to meet their needs as soon as they are expressed—or even sooner.

In the unhealthy range, Self-Preservation Sevens can be extremely thoughtless and relentless in pursuit of security needs. They aggressively go after whatever they believe will make them feel more secure or stave off their anxiety, and brook no interference. Reckless with their finances and resources, spending out of control or gambling, they can be even more profligate with their own health and inner resources. They push themselves beyond reasonable limits, eating, drinking, and indulging themselves to excess.


Sexual Sevens

The Neophile. In the average range, Sexual Sevens are constantly looking for something new and beyond the ordinary; like Fours, they tend to reject the mundane. In all of their activities and interactions, they want to experience the intense charge of being alive. They see life through heightened imagination, idealizing themselves, their relationships, and reality. They often have wide-ranging curiosity and interests and are fascinated by new ideas and topics they see as being on the cutting edge. Sexual Sevens are magnetized by people whom they find interesting or refreshing. When the radar of their sexual instinct locks on the such a person, they do not hesitate to approach the person with charm and genuine interest. They feel temporarily dazzled and hypnotized by the object of their curiosity and may induce similar feelings in others. Sexual Sevens enjoy the excitement of fantasizing about future adventures and shared interest with the nre person. They love wild ideas, wit, and humor — their minds move very quickly, but this can also cause restlessness with themselves and their relationships.

Less healthy Sexual Sevens can become fickle — both with their interests and with their affections. They fear commitment, preferring the intense feelings of infatuation that occur in the earliest stages of a relationship. (They love falling in love.) They revel in romance and in the process of mutual discovery, but as soon as the feelings become familiar, they are ready to explore other possibilities. Similarly, restlessness causes them to lack discernment. They may get involved in faddish or sensational ideas in glitzy packaging that are little more than temporary distractions. Disappointment soon follows.

In the unhealthy range, Sexual Sevens become even more reckless in their pursuit of charged excitement. They may involve themselves in crazy schemes and unrealistic or dangerous love affairs. They become thrill-seekers, looking for more and more extraordinary sources of entertainment while being less and less affected by any of it. They become hardened and dissipated from living on the edge, often burning out or damaging themselves in some permanent way from their excesses.

 

[Society]

As an SP-dom, I've notice myself obsessed with well being. When I was younger I was an incredibly picky eater, and certain textures, color, or smell would turn me off instantly. I actually went hungry a lot because of this. I've come a long way, but still...
There's also this weird preoccupation and sensitivity with the mood of my environment (ie: my room, workplace, etc.) that I can't really describe. All of this sounds really unmanly, but thank goodness this is teh internetz and no one IRL (save family) has to know

If we keep it simple, which one are you more preoccupied with (to the point where it may seem neurotic at times)?

SP-dom = desires for Well Being (ie: financial security, physical comfort, etc.)
SX-dom = desires for Pair Bonding (ie: merging, wholeness, etc.)

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/199-Instinct-Variant-Summary-Table-And-Videos

this actually brings an interesting question to mind:
SP can show itself when you are young throughout your childhood, so can SO to an extent, though perhaps a bit later.

but how could SX express itself when your a child?

i seems to me that one's stacking are more like a series of triumphs in inner conflicts:

first conflict:
- SP: we began life as SP doms, as we gather our sense of physical self, as mere infants.
- SO: only in our childhood we can become aware of SO and the question of social acceptance.
so the first conflict is between SP and SO, which instinct will triumphs in it's importance over the other.

second conflict:
- shortly after we have our SP/SO or SO/SP figured out...
- our sexual development and romantic needs within SX starts developing.
so now we have a conflict between SX and our previously dominant instinct...

third conflict:
if our previously dominant instinct trumped SX, a similar question arises between SX and our previously second instinct.

 

[Thalassa]

this actually brings an interesting question to mind:
SP can show itself when you are young throughout your childhood, so can SO to an extent, though perhaps a bit later.

but how could SX express itself when your a child?

i seems to me that one's stacking are more like a series of triumphs in inner conflicts:

first conflict:
- SP: we began life as SP doms, as we gather our sense of physical self, as mere infants.
- SO: only in our childhood we can become aware of SO and the question of social acceptance.
so the first conflict is between SP and SO, which instinct will triumphs in it's importance over the other.

second conflict:
- shortly after we have our SP/SO or SO/SP figured out...
- our sexual development and romantic needs within SX starts developing.
so now we have a conflict between SX and our previously dominant instinct...

third conflict:
if our previously dominant instinct trumped SX, a similar question arises between SX and our previously second instinct.

Do you think people who were either sickly or suffering from scarcity of some kind or who had chaotic childhoods of some sort might be more likely to be sp doms?

EDIT: Also, your whole thing totally makes sense for me, I was very socially aware during my school years, and then in my adolescence my need to seek intimacy trumped what other people - including my family - thought. That would make sx/so totally make sense for me; especially since physically my grandparents gave me a very stable early childhood so I never had to panic over any sp concerns as far as I know in my formative years.

 

[Society]

Do you think people who were either sickly or suffering from scarcity of some kind or who had chaotic childhoods of some sort might be more likely to be sp doms?

possibly and on the same token t might be that people who had a turbulent experience with social acceptance in late childhood & early tweens might be more likely to be SO doms.

but alternatively, i think there might be a relationship between instinctual stacking and attachment styles:
SX doms are more likely to put more weight on their relationships and have a codependent attachment style
SP doms are more likely to be scared of loosing their sense of self and develop an avoident attachment style
- SP/SXs are more likely to develop an avoident-dependent attachment conflict
SO doms are more likely to be persistently aware of the partnering prospects around them and develop a more confident attachment style.

i am not sure if this is entirely true but i think it is worthy of research, because if it is, then that can be connected to current research which shows attachment styles are already seen in how a baby reacts to his mother during breastfeeding periods, and that would mean instinctual variants might actually be pretty set in birth, an expression of nature rather then nurture. if that is true, then this would mean it was not the turbulence in one's survival/social/intimate development that caused the stacking, but rather the one's instinctual variant which caused one to be more stressed by turbulence in one area rather then another.

 

[Elfboy]

maybe this questionnaire could help a bit (though it's designed more for enneagram and I am about 85% sure of Sp/Sx at this point)

1. What would you say to a 5-year-old child if he or she asked you what the purpose of life is?
life is about getting what you want, doing what you want, being who you want and expressing who you are

2. What type of advice would you give that same child on how to survive in this world?
get good at something that makes you a lot of money. then you'll have enough money to survive and be safe and plenty left over to do whatever the hell you want with.

3. If you were told you only had one year to live from today, and it was 100% guaranteed that you would die exactly 1 year from now, what would you do in that year? Note: Your health will be fine all the way up to the end.
take out a bunch of loans that I knew I'd never be able to pay back in less than a year and use the money to get a bunch of nice stuff, go on a few kick ass vacations and do a bunch of crazy stuff

4. Why aren't you doing this now?
cuz I'd have to pay those loans back

5. What are your defense mechanisms? i.e. When you start to feel uncomfortable or anxious about a situation, what do you generally start to do?
- shelling up, becoming an uptight bitch and trying desperately to prevent my emotions from leaking out of the narrow crevices of my venir of strength, formality and detachment
- when I need someone to comfort me, rather than ask them to, I ask people what is wrong with their lives, what they're upset about etc and then offer to comfort them instead. this is kind of a cop out because I am able to experience comfort vicariously through the other person without revealing any of my own problems
- escapism "I don't have to deal with that, it'll go away on it's own"(...puh-lease)
- domineering and territorial when I feel I am being restricted. I try to protect what little control I have and act aggressively if any of it is threatened

6. What does your heart feel like it needs and wants? What does your head say it needs and wants? What does your body say it needs and wants?
head: money, safety, predictability, stimulation, comfort
heart: fulfillment, adventure, excitement, drama, strong bonds/intimate relationships, extravagance
gut: power, stability, magnanimity, the ability to protect those I care about, control, influence (over what I think is important), to be left the fuck alone

7. What condition is your heart in right now? What condition is your mind in right now? What condition is your body in right now?
heart: beginning to open up. at the moment, it's kinda like a starving dog at a buffet after being repressed for so long, but it's starting to settle down a bit
head: fine for the most part, but a little confused.
gut: not so great. angry and frustrated, pushing for more control, space and territory.

8. What are your predominant faults?
- delaying gratification
- focus, discipline, hard work
- being a coward and using escapism to run from my problems
- denying my feelings and basic psychological needs. trying to prop myself up with this image of "I am strong, independent, I don't need people...EVER" when in reality, I do (I still hate to admit this. I want complete independence, but it's seeming more and more difficult to attain)
- I'm a hyper critical bitch at times, especially under stress. I can be vindictive, stubborn as a mule and refuse to listen to reason when my expectations aren't met.
- as mentioned above, I can be domineering and territorial if I don't feel like my boundaries are being respected.
- I am a total attention whore when I get the chance to be, though I often disguise it well
- I neither forgive nor forget easily

9. Think of a time when you felt at ease and connected to yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
I felt like I was finally able to open up. I could be natural warm, cuddly, affectionate self without having to worry about others taking advantage of my kindness.

10. Think of a time when you felt anxious and disconnected from yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
cold, detached, full of indignation and spite, perpetually disgusted, angry, demanding, highly misanthropic

11. What is an addiction or urge that seems to drive you almost as if you’re not in control? Almost like an alien force that drives or pushes you down.
- tea
- intense music
- introspection

12. What do you need in your life to face your fears?
my beliefs and convictions give me the strength to face my fears. as long as I am able to draw from these, bring it bitch! I'll face anything!

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION]
[MENTION=13609]Hazashin[/MENTION]
[MENTION=12223]Viridian[/MENTION]
you guys know me pretty well, what do you think?

Before I would have thought SP dom but after I've been chatting with you lately I'm wondering if you aren't an SX dom.

 

[The Great One]

[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]

I'm not sure if you are a 3w4 or a 7w6. However if you are a 7w6 then you are SP/SX, because you fit that description better. Then, if you are a 3w4 then you are SX/SP because you fit that description better.

 

[Elfboy]

-crawls out of Sx dom closet-
[MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION]
actually, the Naranjo Sx dom 7 description fits me to a tee.
[MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION]
you were right about me

 

[Amargith]

*pats head*

It'll be ok

 

[Elfboy]

*pats head*
It'll be ok

but Sp doms are everything I wish I was

 

[Amargith]

but Sp doms are everything I wish I was

As a fellow sx-dom with her very own sp-dom , I can tell you now that we very much have what they want on occasion

 

[RaptorWizard]

I voted 7w8 Sp/Sx.

 

[brainheart]

-crawls out of Sx dom closet-

actually, the Naranjo Sx dom 7 description fits me to a tee.

I think you are close on both, like me, which makes for a lot of confusion. I think the instinct stackings that are almost equal are really hard to type because there's just a lot of fluctuation. But this has been my observation with these two types (keep in mind I'm looking at this from an e4 perspective):

sx with a slight win over sp: really tries to hold in emotional volatility so can seem like a pressure cooker. More consistently intense, but also consistently restrained. For this reason can seem more self pres than the sp with strong sx, because they cling to the self pres to keep them in check, probably due to the sp/so influence. I think the sx side in this stacking is more vampirish and alluring. It pulls people in vs going out to get them, but it can never get enough. Harder to satisfy. I think the self pres aspect can seem more anal/HSP in this stacking. They seem more high maintenance, but they're also more likely to consistently honor their passions. Compared to a sp/so of the same etype, however, they are way more intense and passionate. They may spend a lot of time alone but it's a mixed bag. They may desire solitude but it can be torturous to be alone. Lots of longing.

sp with a slight win over sx: kind of bipolar. Really reserved and diligent at times, really crazy and hedonistic at times. I think the swing between sp and sx is more extreme with this stacking, probably due to the sx/so influence. I think the sx side in this stacking is a lot more extroverted and flamboyant than the former, also more about fun/ less heavy. I think self pres is more pleasurable in this stacking vs anal/HSP, but also because of this they are more inconsistent in their work. You can tell this person is not a sx/so, however, because they are primarily reserved and are way more introverted than an sx/so of the same etype. Also, they really love their alone time. More low maintenance when it comes to relationships than a sx dom ever will be, although they may have an occasional sx/so flareup when they feel insecure in a relationship.

Obviously it's a challenge to figure this out for you because you are an ENFP 7, so you are going to relate in a lot of ways to the decadent, but which of these do you think fits you better when you compare yourself to other sevens?

(Also, I wouldn't type yourself based on the music you like. I primarily like sx/sp music but I am certain now that I'm not a sx dom.)

 

[Elfboy]

[MENTION=7140]brainheart[/MENTION]
tbh, I still think you are an obvious Sx/So

what made me decide Sx/Sp over Sp/Sx is that my Sp is forced while my Sx is more natural and compulsive. I wear an "Sp mask" so that people will respect me more and so I can actually function in the real world (as opposed to daydreaming all day) but my natural self is a lot more Sx driven (intense, desperate, volatile, throwing practicality out the window) as much as I love money, I just can't think about financial/security matters for very long.