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Thread: Am I a 6?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    Default Am I a 6?

    I have bounced around the enneagram quite a lot and have no idea how to figure out what I am, and a friend of mine (who identifies as a counter-phobic 6) suggested that I'm a 6. Here are the descriptions from the Enneagram Institute that resonate

    Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious
    They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion.
    But I have never seen myself as pessimistic--though I can be anxious and defensive. I think that I'm pretty optimistic, usually, which the site says could be accounted for in integration to 9.

    I don't identify very strongly with either a 5 or 7 wing. I guess I thought I was a 4w5 at one point, though.

    Maybe someone knowledgeable could ask me some questions to help tease this out?
    Last edited by Patches; 07-06-2012 at 11:38 PM.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    I have bounced around the enneagram quite a lot and have no idea how to figure out what I am, and a friend of mine (who identifies as a counter-phobic 6) suggested that I'm a 6. Here are the descriptions from the Enneagram Institute that resonate





    But I have never seen myself as pessimistic--though I can be anxious and defensive. I think that I'm pretty optimistic, usually, which the site says could be accounted for in integration to 9.

    I don't identify very strongly with either a 5 or 7 wing. I guess I thought I was a 4w5 at one point, though.

    Maybe someone knowledgeable could ask me some questions to help tease this out?
    Have you considered type 9? 9's are in the positive outlook triad as well as the doubting triad, and they disintegrate to 6. They are normally optimistic but become anxious and defensive under stress, like you described.

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    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silveresque View Post
    Have you considered type 9? 9's are in the positive outlook triad as well as the doubting triad, and they disintegrate to 6. They become anxious and defensive under stress, like you described.
    Yep, 9 is a contender for me. And it makes a certain amount of sense--I'm fairly conflict averse for sure. I think that I am definitely either 6 or 9. And it's tricky because it seems that a healthy 6 integrates to 9, so can be fairly optimistic, or an unhealthy 9 disintegrates to 6 and can be quite anxious. I am sure that I've had periods of health and unhealth in my life--so I'm having trouble distinguishing these!
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    Yep, 9 is a contender for me. And it makes a certain amount of sense--I'm fairly conflict averse for sure. I think that I am definitely either 6 or 9. And it's tricky because it seems that a healthy 6 integrates to 9, so can be fairly optimistic, or an unhealthy 9 disintegrates to 6 and can be quite anxious. I am sure that I've had periods of health and unhealth in my life--so I'm having trouble distinguishing these!
    I know what you mean. I've actually written a post about that dilemma before. :P

    Anyways, I'm leaning toward 9 for you because you said you've never seen yourself as pessimistic. If you were a 6 integrated to 9, you should still be able to identify with the average levels of type 6 because you would have to have been there at some point. Sixes start out pessimistic and eventually learn to be more relaxed and optimistic like a 9.

    One of the main differences I've noticed is that sixes are more present in the real world than average nines. Sixes feel they have to be present and vigilant in order to protect themselves from the many dangers of life. They are afraid of letting their guard down. From this perspective, sixes see nines as asleep. The six might say to the nine: "How can you just tune everything out like that and be so relaxed?"

    Nines, on the other hand, aren't as focused on what's out there and what they need to watch for. Nines just want things to be pleasant and comfortable, so they tune out the unpleasant parts of life. From the nine's perspective, sixes need to learn to relax and stop worrying so much about things that don't even seem that important to the nine.

    Even when disintegrating, the nine is still distinct from the six in this way. Nines may start showing some behaviors of the average six, such as anxiety, defensiveness, and even belligerence, but they're getting less present in the real world. Neurotic nines are still disengaging from and tuning out the unpleasant things in life, eventually to the point where they're hardly present at all.

  5. #5
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure I'm a 6 and I've never seen myself as pessimistic - others tend to say that about me, though. I'd call it more realistic, in that I'm hyper-aware of all possible things that could go wrong, and will think about them and make contingency plans even if they aren't very likely, but will still hope for, even expect, the most likely best outcome. So I don't think that's necessarily a deciding factor.

    Silkroad is a 6w5 INFJ - you could think about whether you identify more with her than with enneagram 9 INFJs here (not sure who), if that helps.

    edit: the stuff @Silveresque mentioned about being present rings true to me, although that may be more relevant for SP than NF 6s.
    -end of thread-

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    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    Hmm. I do make contingency plans to a certain extent. But it never feels pessimistic, just like "and if that option doesn't work out, then we can do X."

    But I have actually been accused of not being cautious enough, and I am really put off by people who take a sort of automatically suspicious stance of people. It's not really my automatic concern to lock my doors, for instance--I do it because it makes my partner more comfortable and because I wouldn't want to be responsible if someone DID break into our house and steal all his expensive home theater equipment. And with my ex, we frequently had arguments over his perception that I "just didn't think" about the danger that might present itself (I say this glibly now) in broad fucking daylight with people 100 feet away.

    But I do sometimes accidentally automatically think the worst of someone's intentions (usually someone I love and know well) and can be pretty defensive in those situations.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    Hmm. I do make contingency plans to a certain extent. But it never feels pessimistic, just like "and if that option doesn't work out, then we can do X."

    But I have actually been accused of not being cautious enough, and I am really put off by people who take a sort of automatically suspicious stance of people. It's not really my automatic concern to lock my doors, for instance--I do it because it makes my partner more comfortable and because I wouldn't want to be responsible if someone DID break into our house and steal all his expensive home theater equipment. And with my ex, we frequently had arguments over his perception that I "just didn't think" about the danger that might present itself (I say this glibly now) in broad fucking daylight with people 100 feet away.

    But I do sometimes accidentally automatically think the worst of someone's intentions (usually someone I love and know well) and can be pretty defensive in those situations.
    I make plans too. I'm also very careful, and even when I believe someone is probably trustworthy, I take precautions to protect myself--like not giving out too much personal information. I'm not completely oblivious to the real world.

    So...maybe this will help:

    (Source: Personality Cafe)
    Sixes and nines

    Sixes and nines can seem similar since six is the stress point of nine, and nine is the security point of six. In general, sixes' relationships to others are more complicated and ambivalent, full of contradictions with a lot of push/pull as they struggle with their desire to be secure and their desire to be independent. Nines are more directly accommodating, and while they may have some hidden resentments due to unexpressed frustrations, don't tend to present the contradictory picture or run hot and cold the way sixes do. Both types can be passive-aggressive but in different ways. For nines, passive-aggressiveness is a way out of something they don't want to do. They can become forgetful and procrastinating of obligations they don't want to fulfill. Sixes passive-aggressiveness has a more hostile flair to it, manifesting in caustic remarks and, occasionally, gossip. When upset, sixes tend not to be very good at hiding their negative feelings. Nines tend to present a more pleasant, diplomatic, if uninvolved face to the world.
    (Source: Blogspot)

  8. #8
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    I was watching this last night.. it may help.

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtMVYgx2X0M"]6?[/YOUTUBE]
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  9. #9
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    I was watching this last night.. it may help.
    I strongly relate to that even though I'm not a 6, yet I don't relate much to the type 9 video. I actually mistyped as 6 for a short time because of that....

  10. #10
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silveresque View Post
    (Source: Blogspot)
    Wait, why is every 6 trait here (highly!) negative and every 9 trait positive? Smells just a bit fishy to me...
    -end of thread-

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