• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Am I a 6?

Eileen

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
2,179
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6?
I have bounced around the enneagram quite a lot and have no idea how to figure out what I am, and a friend of mine (who identifies as a counter-phobic 6) suggested that I'm a 6. Here are the descriptions from the Enneagram Institute that resonate

Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious

They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion.

But I have never seen myself as pessimistic--though I can be anxious and defensive. I think that I'm pretty optimistic, usually, which the site says could be accounted for in integration to 9.

I don't identify very strongly with either a 5 or 7 wing. I guess I thought I was a 4w5 at one point, though.

Maybe someone knowledgeable could ask me some questions to help tease this out?
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Silveresque

Active member
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
1,169
I have bounced around the enneagram quite a lot and have no idea how to figure out what I am, and a friend of mine (who identifies as a counter-phobic 6) suggested that I'm a 6. Here are the descriptions from the Enneagram Institute that resonate





But I have never seen myself as pessimistic--though I can be anxious and defensive. I think that I'm pretty optimistic, usually, which the site says could be accounted for in integration to 9.

I don't identify very strongly with either a 5 or 7 wing. I guess I thought I was a 4w5 at one point, though.

Maybe someone knowledgeable could ask me some questions to help tease this out?

Have you considered type 9? 9's are in the positive outlook triad as well as the doubting triad, and they disintegrate to 6. They are normally optimistic but become anxious and defensive under stress, like you described.
 

Eileen

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
2,179
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6?
Have you considered type 9? 9's are in the positive outlook triad as well as the doubting triad, and they disintegrate to 6. They become anxious and defensive under stress, like you described.

Yep, 9 is a contender for me. And it makes a certain amount of sense--I'm fairly conflict averse for sure. I think that I am definitely either 6 or 9. And it's tricky because it seems that a healthy 6 integrates to 9, so can be fairly optimistic, or an unhealthy 9 disintegrates to 6 and can be quite anxious. I am sure that I've had periods of health and unhealth in my life--so I'm having trouble distinguishing these! :)
 

Silveresque

Active member
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
1,169
Yep, 9 is a contender for me. And it makes a certain amount of sense--I'm fairly conflict averse for sure. I think that I am definitely either 6 or 9. And it's tricky because it seems that a healthy 6 integrates to 9, so can be fairly optimistic, or an unhealthy 9 disintegrates to 6 and can be quite anxious. I am sure that I've had periods of health and unhealth in my life--so I'm having trouble distinguishing these! :)

I know what you mean. I've actually written a post about that dilemma before. :p

Anyways, I'm leaning toward 9 for you because you said you've never seen yourself as pessimistic. If you were a 6 integrated to 9, you should still be able to identify with the average levels of type 6 because you would have to have been there at some point. Sixes start out pessimistic and eventually learn to be more relaxed and optimistic like a 9.

One of the main differences I've noticed is that sixes are more present in the real world than average nines. Sixes feel they have to be present and vigilant in order to protect themselves from the many dangers of life. They are afraid of letting their guard down. From this perspective, sixes see nines as asleep. The six might say to the nine: "How can you just tune everything out like that and be so relaxed?"

Nines, on the other hand, aren't as focused on what's out there and what they need to watch for. Nines just want things to be pleasant and comfortable, so they tune out the unpleasant parts of life. From the nine's perspective, sixes need to learn to relax and stop worrying so much about things that don't even seem that important to the nine.

Even when disintegrating, the nine is still distinct from the six in this way. Nines may start showing some behaviors of the average six, such as anxiety, defensiveness, and even belligerence, but they're getting less present in the real world. Neurotic nines are still disengaging from and tuning out the unpleasant things in life, eventually to the point where they're hardly present at all.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm pretty sure I'm a 6 and I've never seen myself as pessimistic - others tend to say that about me, though. I'd call it more realistic, in that I'm hyper-aware of all possible things that could go wrong, and will think about them and make contingency plans even if they aren't very likely, but will still hope for, even expect, the most likely best outcome. So I don't think that's necessarily a deciding factor.

Silkroad is a 6w5 INFJ - you could think about whether you identify more with her than with enneagram 9 INFJs here (not sure who), if that helps.

edit: the stuff [MENTION=14216]Silveresque[/MENTION] mentioned about being present rings true to me, although that may be more relevant for SP than NF 6s.
 

Eileen

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
2,179
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6?
Hmm. I do make contingency plans to a certain extent. But it never feels pessimistic, just like "and if that option doesn't work out, then we can do X."

But I have actually been accused of not being cautious enough, and I am really put off by people who take a sort of automatically suspicious stance of people. It's not really my automatic concern to lock my doors, for instance--I do it because it makes my partner more comfortable and because I wouldn't want to be responsible if someone DID break into our house and steal all his expensive home theater equipment. And with my ex, we frequently had arguments over his perception that I "just didn't think" about the danger that might present itself (I say this glibly now) in broad fucking daylight with people 100 feet away.

But I do sometimes accidentally automatically think the worst of someone's intentions (usually someone I love and know well) and can be pretty defensive in those situations.
 

Silveresque

Active member
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
1,169
Hmm. I do make contingency plans to a certain extent. But it never feels pessimistic, just like "and if that option doesn't work out, then we can do X."

But I have actually been accused of not being cautious enough, and I am really put off by people who take a sort of automatically suspicious stance of people. It's not really my automatic concern to lock my doors, for instance--I do it because it makes my partner more comfortable and because I wouldn't want to be responsible if someone DID break into our house and steal all his expensive home theater equipment. And with my ex, we frequently had arguments over his perception that I "just didn't think" about the danger that might present itself (I say this glibly now) in broad fucking daylight with people 100 feet away.

But I do sometimes accidentally automatically think the worst of someone's intentions (usually someone I love and know well) and can be pretty defensive in those situations.

I make plans too. I'm also very careful, and even when I believe someone is probably trustworthy, I take precautions to protect myself--like not giving out too much personal information. I'm not completely oblivious to the real world. ;)

So...maybe this will help:

(Source: Personality Cafe)
Sixes and nines

Sixes and nines can seem similar since six is the stress point of nine, and nine is the security point of six. In general, sixes' relationships to others are more complicated and ambivalent, full of contradictions with a lot of push/pull as they struggle with their desire to be secure and their desire to be independent. Nines are more directly accommodating, and while they may have some hidden resentments due to unexpressed frustrations, don't tend to present the contradictory picture or run hot and cold the way sixes do. Both types can be passive-aggressive but in different ways. For nines, passive-aggressiveness is a way out of something they don't want to do. They can become forgetful and procrastinating of obligations they don't want to fulfill. Sixes passive-aggressiveness has a more hostile flair to it, manifesting in caustic remarks and, occasionally, gossip. When upset, sixes tend not to be very good at hiding their negative feelings. Nines tend to present a more pleasant, diplomatic, if uninvolved face to the world.

(Source: Blogspot)
EnneagramMisidentifications6and9.png
 

Santosha

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
1,516
MBTI Type
HUMR
Enneagram
6
Instinctual Variant
sx
I was watching this last night.. it may help.

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtMVYgx2X0M"]6?[/YOUTUBE]
 

King sns

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
6,714
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Wait, why is every 6 trait here (highly!) negative and every 9 trait positive? Smells just a bit fishy to me...

Exactly!!!! Some writer is bitter towards sixes. It makes sixes look like horrible people... And they wonder why no one wants to be a 6.

(whoever "they" are who are wondering.)
 

Santosha

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
1,516
MBTI Type
HUMR
Enneagram
6
Instinctual Variant
sx
I strongly relate to that even though I'm not a 6, yet I don't relate much to the type 9 video. I actually mistyped as 6 for a short time because of that....

Really? In a way I've been lucky because my partner and my grandmother, the two people closest to me, are very obvious 9's. So I had so much to compare to IRL that I didn't get caught up in the theory of 6-9 movement. However, I also run so CP 6 that I often look like an 8 (though I knew there was too much else with me that 8 didn't capture). The last year I have struggled more with 6-3 digressions from stress. Some of the key points I think in this video are:
-Residing in the head and struggling with body presence. (I have yet to meet 9's that identify with this)
-Moving from phobic to CP (too much agenda for a 9 I would think)
-6 needs external factors to be smooth sailing.. becomes highly reactive under stress, where as 9 tends to look away, tune out, or rather tune in to the self and ignore external problems to maintain that harmony.

Again, these difference may be very obvious to me because I struggle more 6-3 than 6-9 growth. I have alot of work to do on finding source of safety internally, but I can imagine the blur of integration.
 

Eileen

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
2,179
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6?
Wait, why is every 6 trait here (highly!) negative and every 9 trait positive? Smells just a bit fishy to me...

This is a problem I have with the enneagram sometimes--a LOT of the literature just feels really negative, or if it's not negative it's unbalanced.
 

Silveresque

Active member
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
1,169
Really? In a way I've been lucky because my partner and my grandmother, the two people closest to me, are very obvious 9's. So I had so much to compare to IRL that I didn't get caught up in the theory of 6-9 movement. However, I also run so CP 6 that I often look like an 8 (though I knew there was too much else with me that 8 didn't capture). The last year I have struggled more with 6-3 digressions from stress. Some of the key points I think in this video are:
-Residing in the head and struggling with body presence. (I have yet to meet 9's that identify with this)
-Moving from phobic to CP (too much agenda for a 9 I would think)
-6 needs external factors to be smooth sailing.. becomes highly reactive under stress, where as 9 tends to look away, tune out, or rather tune in to the self and ignore external problems to maintain that harmony.

Again, these difference may be very obvious to me because I struggle more 6-3 than 6-9 growth. I have alot of work to do on finding source of safety internally, but I can imagine the blur of integration.

What I related to most was the doubt and indecisiveness, and not being able to figure out my type. The type 9 video spends too much time describing how they merge with others and forget their own agenda, which is not something I really relate to.

-Residing in the head and struggling with body presence. (I have yet to meet 9's that identify with this)

I can't figure out where I reside. I'm definitely not in my feelings, and I may be too spaced out a lot of the time to be residing in my head, yet I'm clumsy and nonathletic, so I don't feel like I reside in my body either. Where exactly am I then? If I had to go with one, I'd choose head...

-Moving from phobic to CP (too much agenda for a 9 I would think)

I don't relate to this. I am a phobic 9. ;)

-6 needs external factors to be smooth sailing.. becomes highly reactive under stress, where as 9 tends to look away, tune out, or rather tune in to the self and ignore external problems to maintain that harmony.

I don't know about other 9's, but I need external factors to remain calm and peaceful. When other people try to control my life and force me to be a certain way, it really messes up my inner harmony. I don't necessarily get reactive, but I get very frustrated and anxious. I can tune out some things, but not everything.
 

Eileen

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
2,179
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6?
Can someone elucidate what phobic/counterphobic means with regard to 9s and 6s?
 

Silveresque

Active member
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
1,169
Can someone elucidate what phobic/counterphobic means with regard to 9s and 6s?

Here's a good description I found:

(Source: International Enneagram)
There are two versions of Sixes: phobic and counter-phobic. Phobic Sixes are actively fearful, often withdrawing to feel safe, while still remaining vigilant. Counter-phobic Sixes may not be conscious of their fear (although it is still present), and instead automatically move to confront perceived threats or problems, as a way to prove that they are not fearful. In reality, both the phobic and counter-phobic reactions can be seen in most Sixes, although individual Sixes will tend to gravitate toward one end of the phobic versus counter-phobic continuum.
 
Top