I've answered this questionnaire as honestly as possible, I'm wondering what you enneagram gurus think?
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I'm driven to better myself -- to be able to squeeze every last drop of enjoyment and satisfaction I can out of life. In order to do this, I'm on a quest to develop my wisdom and hone my determination, to accomplish anything and everything I want to - big or small.
I look for happiness, and that only comes from absolute freedom.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
All I want is to accomplish my few goals and get as much out of life as possible. I hope to continue seeing beauty in it, experiencing life with a lustful passion, being able to overcome all obstacles and accomplish whatever I set my mind to. And more. I always want more.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
The most important thing to me in life is that I am following my own course, doing what I want to do. What's the point in falling trap to slavery when you only get one and it's always only what you make it?
I avoid doing anything I don't want to be doing. If there's something I need to do which yields benefit in the long run, I can make myself want to do it.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
If I have fears, I'm not aware of them.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
All I ask from others is respect and compliance. I'm not really concerned how others view me, unless that gets in the way of something important to me.
I see myself as just an entity -- I've been and experienced so many different things throughout my life. What's at the core of all that is just a profound sense of intuition, a strong passion for life, and underneath it all - a storage of neglected yet powerful emotions.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel best when I feel I have my life in check and under control. When I succeed where I want to, and when I'm free of obligations. When I feel peaceful, calm, yet passionate and childlike. When I feel respected and noticed by others. When I feel powerful -- knowing that I can make a difference, knowing that I take up space in this world and that I'm a force to be reckoned with. That's when I'm at my best.
I'm at my worst when I'm confused, reclusive, isolated, depressed, overwhelmed. When I feel I have no impact or voice. When I'm struggling for something and I fail or give up. I beat myself over it pretty hard...
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) Anger is an interesting one. I get pissed off pretty often and I've learned to harness that anger in different ways. Depending on the situation, I can either let it blow over, use it to my advantage, or just plain blow the fuck up. But generally speaking, anger is not something I can ignore.
b) I don't feel shame often, but mostly when I surrender, when I fight for something and end up being wrong about it, or when I trample someone who didn't deserve it.
c) I experience anxiety from time to time, mostly when I feel my life might fall out of my control -- I become anxious and determined to clear the path so I can feel free again. But other than that, anxiety isn't a part of my day to day life at all -- I like to keep chill and enjoy each passing moment. There's no reason to rush or run in life, because then all you're doing is racing to your death.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) I try to keep calm and become determined to undermine it. I often see stress as an enemy who I can't let get the best of me, so I end up doing what I need to do to eradicate it. Even when I feel stress, I subconsciously feel that everything will work itself out in one way or another, but I'm not one to sit back and be passive.
b) I get pissed when people think they can change plans on my at the tip of a hat.. very pissed. Other than that, I generally respond to change well -- I'm pretty adaptive.
c) I like to pick my battles, mostly because there's no reason for me to waste energy on a fight that yields no productive end. If someone is actively trying to provoke me and beating them down yields nothing, I'll just turn my shoulder to it.
But I have a hard time backing down, I view surrender (any form of it) as a sign of weakness, and this is something extremely important to me -- it always has, and probably always will be. The thing is, surrender often comes in unusual forms. Sometimes, answering someone's provocation is surrendering, as paradoxical as that sounds.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) I don't pay much attention to it, I'm usually fine with it. But I don't have a problem questioning or challenging it when they act unjustly/unreasonably.
b) Power is just a means of control. It's pretty important to me, but what's important to realize is that two people's power don't necessarily always clash -- two "powers" can often coexist without much problem. I find power in following my own path, and sometimes that clashes with other's, sometimes it doesn't. Either way, straying from the natural path I have set out for myself is not something I can do. If that means hell, so be it.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
It's both fucked up and beautiful. I have such passion for life and humanity, and it manifests itself in both very positive and very negative ways. But that's fine with me. I don't think I'd enjoy living in a Utopian society, without grief/struggle, there is no enjoyment/happiness to me.
I'm not sure if it helps, but I'm 18, and I'm an ENTJ.