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  1. #41
    Senior Member placebo's Avatar
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    Looking at the points you made he seems very INFP. What makes me say that the most though is that I can relate to about all of those points VERY WELL.

    I would say that my mom is an ISFJ and her personality is much 'stronger' in a sense. She can be quite sensitive and emotional, but most of the time she doesn't let that get in the way of her responsibilities and actions (like I think it would an INFP--though they hold it in, it translates into dreaming and not action) until it all builds up (and blows up), meaning she's actually quite independent (and no codependent, as you asked) and though she does have my dad for help, she's able to step away from that if she needs to and say she can do it. There is still a lot of structure in her life despite problems (she didn't have the best childhood either, there was parental neglect).

    INFPs can be very sensitive to parental neglect, even if there isn't really that much. We just tend to be sensitive, especially to any slight perception of rejection. I mean, of course we can grow out of that and rationalize that there really isn't anything there when we think there is, but if there is some kind of neglect going on, I think it hits INFPs even harder. We can be total wusses but hide it well.

    The way he seems to 'drown in fantasy' and romantic notions, screams NF for idealist and having that strong desire for the perfect fulfilling relationships.

    Anyway, I'm no good at figuring this out by function analysis, but anecdotally, I would be very sure to say he's probably an INFP. (He thinks he's one anyway. Why do you have to doubt him!?!!?)

    I don't even really see how these are more ISFJ than INFP
    --He used to look at art constantly, forming a loose library of his favourites, as inspiration, on his computer
    --Related to that, he's done very skilled art himself

    --He's always loved to help people, and he'll often dangerously give himself and his attention, even to strangers

    His Magic Tree House thing seems really not a thing an ISFJ would draw... and I find it really weird how he has a giant squid monster in his gallery because that's something I love to draw... And I think that though both INFPs and ISFJs like to help people, INFPs tend to do it more randomly, to whatever cause they find around them, while ISFJs tend to go into some kind of social program and dedicate themselves to that or they help a few people very close to them to a high degree. I think the type of help they tend to provide would have differences too. INFPs are good at giving moral support, attention, acceptance and good feelings, and probably loose change. ISFJs give a lot of their emotions as well but are also really practical and give good advice and maybe more likely financial support. I don't know for sure, that's just observational speculation... but though INFPs and ISFJs share a lot of traits there are very different ways in which they act out.

    Anyway, to reiterate. INFP INFP. Maybe a relatively unhealthy one though, so he may exhibit traits contrary to his type that SJs may have.
    Last edited by placebo; 05-14-2008 at 06:48 PM. Reason: nonsensical grammar

  2. #42
    will make your day Carebear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jogi View Post
    Mort Belfry: No, not quite. More like I will get so obsessed about making, say, Hotherym, feel better, even on the phone, that I will end up staying awake until 6 (or later) in the morning and totally neglecting my need to sleep, eat or even drink water. It feels like I create these obsessions and will try and achieve them until I basically drop. I can do that with other things too, but not really the same scale, because I take helping people in situations like that much more seriously than anything else, really.
    This is very typical NFP. NFJs create clearer boundries. They might still work themselves to they drop and neglect themselves, but it's more because of a inner drive to do so, while your example is a clear case of responding to an outside incentive. Unhealthy NFJs will make a plan on how to help people and might work themselves to a coma to live up to the plan, while unhealthy NFPs typically do things like being available instead of planning, and the staying awake thing is a typical trap to fall into.

    Quote Originally Posted by placebo View Post
    Anyway, to reiterate. INFP INFP. Maybe a relatively unhealthy one though, so he may exhibit traits contrary to his type that SJs may have.
    I agree.
    I have arms for a fucking reaosn, so come hold me. Then we'll fuvk! Whoooooh! - GZA

  3. #43
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    Yeah I have to say the difference between INFP and ISFJ is huge.. my GF is ISFJ and she looooves bossing people around. Not in a bad way, but she acts like everyone's mother. She does it in this nurturing way though. She also likes looking at art, painting sometimes, playing lots of instruments.. but mostly she does it for about 2 secs before she goes runs off to make herself busy with something again, be it work or school. She hates NOT being busy.. Oh, she also hates talking online. And would probably never post on a forum, lol. The only time she ever seems to stop and think about something is when she's confused about something and needs to figure it out.. and she is helpful to a point, until she feels too exhausted, and then has to leave people to their own problems. Yeah, clear boundaries. So I would have to say INFP

  4. #44

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    I'd say I fall on INFP, too.

    Why do you have to doubt him!?!!?
    Quite simply; it's easy to doubt his incredibly idealistic, floaty, artistic fantasies. :D

    Really, I just have a tendency to want to explore all the options before falling on one. MBTI is far from everything, but it does work really well for encouraging taking a closer look at yourself and others. I'd say it's helped both of us a lot.

    I guess that leaves the open question of whether our relatively unhealthy NF extremes are a good match now -- me with my hardcore goal setting and pessimistic outlook and his airy anxiety and tendencies toward fantasy ideals. Only time will tell, I guess.

  5. #45
    will make your day Carebear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hotherym View Post
    I guess that leaves the open question of whether our relatively unhealthy NF extremes are a good match now -- me with my hardcore goal setting and pessimistic outlook and his airy anxiety and tendencies toward fantasy ideals. Only time will tell, I guess.
    Unhealthy people of any type can be very problematic, but in my experience the INFJ-INFP unhealthyness can work great together. Sure you'll bump into a lot of crises, but your differences could also help you understand yourselves and each other. Ni needs Ne input, Ne can start loving the weird Ni input.

    INFPs are normally (unhealthily) patient and INFJs (unhealthily) stubborn and hate failure. So neither is likely to announce that the relationship is over.
    I have arms for a fucking reaosn, so come hold me. Then we'll fuvk! Whoooooh! - GZA

  6. #46

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    That's creepily accurate. I know I get stringently, stubbornly perfectionistic, while he can go in what seem to me like aimless circles of idealism for hours without frustration. This can obviously cause conflict. But when I become severely disillusioned with the flaws and horrors of life, he can throw romanticism at me that will distract me with its pretty colours until he has me JUST WHERE HE WANTS ME.

    I tell you, it's pure evil.

  7. #47
    will make your day Carebear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hotherym View Post
    That's creepily accurate. I know I get stringently, stubbornly perfectionistic, while he can go in what seem to me like aimless circles of idealism for hours without frustration. This can obviously cause conflict. But when I become severely disillusioned with the flaws and horrors of life, he can throw romanticism at me that will distract me with its pretty colours until he has me JUST WHERE HE WANTS ME.

    I tell you, it's pure evil.
    Ok, the verdict is in. He's INFP.

    As for creepily accurate: I'm married to an INFJ (known her for 10 years) with issues and have had mine in the past as well, so I would know. Even if we've both grown a lot more secure over the years, the dynamic you explained above still applies. It might be pure evil, but I love my magical power to trap her in rosy illusions, and she desperately needs the breaks from her visions of doom.
    I have arms for a fucking reaosn, so come hold me. Then we'll fuvk! Whoooooh! - GZA

  8. #48

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    HAH! Well, hell, if the MBTI is a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, it sure does a good job giving the illusion that personality coincidences have a rhyme and reason.

    Ten years? You two must have something pretty damn good going on. I can see how the variants in NF qualities between the two could aid mutual support, even if the Fi/Fe, Ni/Ne can cause some disputes of perception and perspective.

    With my INTP guy friend, we aren't involved in an actual relationship due to his lack of communication and emotional availability, but our Ne/Ni combination is practically unstoppable...when there's open communication, of course. Our (hugely expansive) world views are very similar, but he's even more pessimistic than I.

    With Jogi, we can (under healthy circumstances) bring out each other's lovey-dovey feelings to an embarrassing degree. Well, embarrassing for me, anyway. His effect on me does not bode well for my cooler, more objective, wannabe-INTJ approach to life. His Ne seems very similar to my close friend's (when he lets it out), but can be permeated with the scent of rose water. Is that the Fi?

    Mystery solved, at any rate. I still see his INFJ-ish qualities, but it could be my influence as well as his unhealthy rigidity to his own values. He's a quiet, dreamy, withheld teddy bear of a guy, at any rate.

  9. #49
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    Wow. So I read this whole thing. Very interesting. I love typing, have been intensely studying the MBTI system for the past 8 months, read 3 books on it, and countless websites. Here's my input.

    1. He's definitely introvert. 100% sure
    2. He's definitely intuition. 100% sure
    3. Here's where the trouble is: feeling or thinking
    4. He's definitely perceiving. 100% sure

    So he's an INFP or INTP. You've got to be careful here. First judgment would say he's an INFP because of all the feeling stuff going on. But this can be a trap.

    I am an INTP, who was originally typed as an INFP. Took the test several times, read the descriptions, was very sure of myself. I turned out to be wrong.

    Here's what's making me think he might be an INTP. You said school and academics came very easily to him. Typical INTP. You said he seemed a little aloof and detached. Typical INTP.

    Here

  10. #50
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    Here’s some clear up on some discussion I read from previous writers:

    1. There was some question about whether he was putting himself before others or others before himself. He puts others before himself to build up his own naturally low-self confidence and take care of the outer world so he doesn’t have to fight it and can therefore focus on himself and be self-centered (not in a bad way) like any normal introvert.

    2. “He buries emotions immediately, sometimes to have them explode when he's under stress.” When INTPs are under stress they are an emotional basket case and train wreck. There is a lot of crying going on and yelling and general upset.

    3. “I do tend to remember at least a few times when being with a small group of friends would invigorate and inspire me.” Small groups of friends do tend to invigorate and inspire introverts.

    4. “I certainly value organization and control, and tend to get very anxious if either of those things are compromised (as you can see in the way I structured the break-down in this post). However, being more loose is something which definitely helps me a lot, though I may just be confusing that for not being so rigid and anxious.” A lot of times perceivers (such as myself) love organization and control due to the fact that it gives them some stability and something to be spontaneous off of.

    5. “He was very bossy as a child -- especially as a young child -- before becoming more insecure later on in life.” I was very bossy as a child. I was always going into dangerous situations, helping people in need, I guess because I didn’t sense the danger there . . . a bit naive. Then, later in life, I kind of fell apart.

    I went through a tough period in my life where I suffered from a lot of social anxiety, depression, cyclical rambling, and low confidence, and it was kind of like a role reversal thing where emotions were in charge, rather than the thoughts (natural tendency). It was like the development of the weaker half of me, the feelings. Swimming in a pool of emotion and fantasy. I was very sensitive to criticism. The reason I mistyped myself as INFP was that I discovered MBTI when I was going through this period.

    He could be going through a phase like this. You seemed to sound like he wasn’t quite normal right now anyways, and was struggling for a while.

    Tough call. He could quite possibly be INFP. But don’t rule out INTP either.

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