Hey, I'm just trying to identity my enneagram type and was hoping someone could help out. This questionnaire is from another forum (hope its okay that I used it) but I guess it provides some insight into how I think. I'm pretty confused because I get different results on any tests I do, but mostly they suggest I score highest in 4 followed by 5 and 9. Does that equate to 4-5-9 tritype, is that how it works? I initially read up on a Type 9w1 and was pretty sure that was what I was as well. Then I read up on a type 4w5 and was completely confused. Anyway, here are some of the questions:
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I look for meaningful relationships that aren't temporary. Actually, let me rephrase that. I'm not constantly on the lookout for new people 'cause it's hard for me to open up and people tend to not have too much patience with me on that front. I look to maintain my existing relationships (that includes family, friends, lovers.. the whole gang, in short) with everything I have. Brevity is something I can't handle very well at all.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I'd like to have my career firmly in place, not somewhere big necessarily. I'm honestly okay with being a cog in the machine as long as the end goal is something I believe in. At some point, I'd also like to start a collaboration with many different kinds of people from various fields and do something that we all feel strongly about. I'd like to have someone to share myself with and open out to completely, and someone who would appreciate me for who I am already. And also, I'd like some sense of order around me and maybe the occasional break from the mundane to keep things a little interesting.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I want to avoid putting myself in unhappy situations that I stick around in because I think they'll change eventually. I want to avoid creating scenarios in my head by over-thinking things.
I value sincerity, loyalty, patience, follow-through, commitment & drive and carefully thought out words and decisions.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
That I miss out on the chance of meeting people that would mean a lot to me just because they can't get past the walls I put up. That I might not find a career that I'm truly passionate about that is financially viable for me to sustain myself. That I value someone else more than I should and put them on a pedestal, eventually ending up hurting myself over it. Being betrayed, on that account.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I tend to have many layers and am constantly in some stage of deciphering my own personality. It's pretty tiring at times, and pretty fascinating to learn about it at other times. I like to breakdown other people's personalities to see what it is that makes us tick or creates problems. I feel that I come off as super boring to talk to if I don't have enough time to think and verbalise. I'm interested in all sorts of things, including books and movies and music and hobbies, ranging from the most commercial to the most arbid and am equally passionate about all of it, never considering anything ‘just a phase’. I know it will be a part of my future too, even if I put it aside for a bit. I love introducing other people to something I feel they would be passionate about as well.
I suppose I'd like them to see me as capable, loyal, someone they trust to make good judgement calls and help them out if they need it.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
When I'm able to make a difference to someone else and help them understand something that they may not have figured out about themselves that affects them positively. Creating something that best expresses myself and lets people look a little deeper at what I'm feeling, which I'm not able to get out very well in other ways. Gaining insight into an aspect of my own personality, good or bad, that might help in the long run. Discovering something new or old and I completely immersing myself in it to try and master it.
I feel my worst when I can't phantom the result of a decision I have to make, or when I feel stuck at a crossroad. I also feel pretty shitty about having my affections taken for granted, especially since it takes me a WHOLE lot to get them out in the first place. Also, I feel bad when people close up to me and don't let me in. But at the same time it irks me when other people push me to open up too fast and don't give me the space I need. Lol, probably the most hypocritical aspect of myself.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) I don't get angry very often, I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and let them come around eventually. But there are certain buttons that when pushed too hard with me cause me to really lose it. To the extent the other party is literally scared I mean to cut off all contact instantaneously. Or rip them to shreds, one or the other. However, I forgive very easily when it comes to people I really care about and have a ridiculously short term memory in terms of fights and bad phases. At the same time, people who I'm very close to have a tendency to disappoint me more often; I guess my standards for them are much higher.
b) Shame is not something I really remember feeling very often. I suppose I might feel regretful about putting my emotions on the line and having them rebuffed. Again, really rare that they're out there in the first place! And that's not quite the same as shame, is it?
c) Anxiety? Well. I tend to get depressed more often than I feel anxious or nervous about anything. Refer to the next question, I suppose. =)
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) Stress is something that worries me till the point when I actively start working to sort it out. Which unfortunately takes a while. The more stressed I am, the more I tend to procrastinate and get depressed and delay the inevitable start. But once I do, it's easy enough to power through.
b) Change and major life altering events in general bothers me a lot. I tend to cling on to positive past experiences fairly often and relive them in my head over and over. I even go the extent of manipulating memories that were pretty shitty into events that I somehow miss. Although I reprimand myself for that fairly quickly, lol.
c) Conflict is a funny thing with me. There are some people I do give ground to take the lead or have their opinion change mine to some extent, maybe because I respect them and trust their decisions more. Then there are others who I will definitely not let get the upper hand just because there is something abrasive and phony about them.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
I respond fairly decently to authority and power, provided that I myself see their point of view as valid and something that would positively impact the future situation. The conflict of interests that I mentioned in Question 8 doesn't really play a role unless I have no faith in the decisions making abilities of the authoritative figure or if I get the feeling that they are just trying to throw their weight around.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
I believe all people are inherently good. Or at least they are until they have a change of heart and then they aren't anymore. You can't really begrudge a change of heart (as much I would like to) which is the scary part.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
A stranger insulting me? Nothing really. A stranger complimenting me? About the same. If I have no connection with this person, I don't tend to take what they say to heart at all.
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
I'm thankful that I have so much patience and that I am generally a very good judge of people.
I wish I had a more of an outgoing personality and drive so I could get more things done more efficiently. And a bit thicker skin.
Thanks in advance for any feedback!