Hey everyone - I'm ENTJ!
At this point I'm 95% certain. First off, I want to thank everybody who took the time to reply to this thread. I realize not one person here picked ENTJ, but that doesn't mean I disregarded everything you said. Each person's input provided another clue to help solve this puzzle. And it was a great introduction to this forum, so thank you very much
Below, I'm going to outline why ENTJ makes the most sense. If you're curious, read on. Feel free to continue the discussion and comment on why you agree/disagree. Otherwise, that's all, folks!
1) The eight-year quest
When I discovered MBTI as an adolescent, the type I most identified with was ENTJ. I was never convinced for long. In general, I think the better you know someone, the harder it is to determine their type. That was the case with myself. Wavering for eight years seems to suggest P. But who other than an NJ would pursue the project so obsessively, unable to rest until the truth had been discovered and closure obtained?
2) Why I sound like an ESTP
I used to be pretty awkward, not good at small talk, and impatient with others. I would try to socialize with many people, but most would fail to reciprocate or let me down in some way. In the last few years, I've learned to develop my sense of humor and personal style (verbal and sartorial), and to engage with others without expecting anything in return. At the same time, I've loosened up and gotten better at taking things as they come. These skills come naturally to an ESTP, but I had to cultivate them.
3) N or S?
First off, I have no Si. Period. As point number 2 indicates, I've recently been developing my Se skills. A perfect example is studying body language to get better at reading people. I'm also at a point in my life where the future is unclear, and it seems my only option is to live in the moment for the time being. The recent emphasis on bringing out my Se makes it easy to mistake it as my dominant function.
However, I'm really an N through and through. Given the right companion, my conversations always end up in deep abstraction (and the occasional debate
). I hate doing things without knowing the underlying purpose. Throughout my life, my two greatest hobbies have been reading and strategy games. According to my parents, as a child I would focus intensely on the task at hand, oblivious of my surroundings. I enjoyed running around outside, but I was never good at sports. If that doesn't say N over S, I don't know what does.
4) Ni or Ne? Ti or Te?
ENTP (Ne > Ti) was another frontrunner. I was convinced for a while. I'm almost always late and tend to forget appointments, paperwork, etc. But the reason isn't that I'm juggling a million things at once. It's because I get so wrapped up in one activity that I neglect everything else that needs to get done. And what ENTJ actually
wants to do paperwork? I need a personal secretary to take care of such mundane tasks so I can focus on what's really important! My mind is always planning, sorting, categorizing. I judge people, quite literally, within a second of seeing them. Reassessment is completed within a second of talking to them. When I commute, I'm either philosophizing or planning the rest of my day down to the minute (fully aware that I'll end up shattering my own plan). Long story short, my intuition is focused (Ni). I fully recognize the value of divergent thinking (Ne), but it doesn't come as naturally to me. While I identify with Ti, Te is unmistakably present.
The final evidence came from reddit's INTJ subreddit. Reading the page was like listening to a thousand clones of myself. Their thought processes and ideas were identical to mine, with one striking difference: they all hated small talk. To elaborate, they all possess a lack of social inclination that I simply don't identify with. The logical conclusion is that we're so similar because we share the same functions; I'm just more extroverted. Flip Ni > Te, and you get Te > Ni: ENTJ. (Side note: I often prefer solitude. Friends have described me as a mix of super-social and super-reserved. I've heard ENTJ's are the most introverted of the extroverts, so that makes sense).
5) Emotions, mother******: do you have them?
No. Okay, I do, but they're controlled and tend to be positive. I spend most of my life calm, cool, and collected, but occasionally it all comes crashing down. Over one or two days, loneliness, yearning for significance, fantasies, regrets, and bittersweet contemplation wash over me. Them I'm back to normal. Inferior Fi, anyone?
