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  1. #11
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    @Kai

    I'm going to go with ESFP on this one; Se, Fi, and Te seem to be present, and no other type really fits better than this one given the information that you have presented.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savage Idealist View Post
    @Kai

    I'm going to go with ESFP on this one; Se, Fi, and Te seem to be present, and no other type really fits better than this one given the information that you have presented.
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I would say she's an ESFP.

    I think you may be stereotyping her as ISFP if she's not all loud and going to parties every weekend. ESFP seems highly likely with what you're saying. I mean, why would an Fi dom lack an ability to answer questions like "Who are you?" Fi doms eat that stuff up, it's intrapersonal intelligence. ISFPs also have more Ni, and what you're describing to me sounds like she's either an ESFP...I mean if you don't think she's an ISTP instead of ISFP.
    Yeah. I'll have to give ESFP some real thought and look more into what they really are like. Think I had a stereotypical image of ESFPs in my mind, and she seemed pretty different to my other friend who I know is definitely an ESFP. My other friend, fits the common profile of the individual with an abundant amount of friends (with a few close friends), where as my partner is more content with her smaller group of close friends-family and a relatively inactive lifestyle. While my ESFP friend is much more expressive generally, my girlfriend is much more reserved in her emotional expressions. It can sometimes come across as cold, compared to my often silly-like but open display of affection. ^^'

    There have been times where I've wondered whether she's a T based on her expressiveness. In that sense, based on the basic four letters, she'll look like she's ISTP, but she doesn't really use Ti in my eyes. She doesn't have that drive or dedication to dig deeper into mechanics behind a system. Most stuff is more of a general interest to her. Even though I've been with her for nearly two years, I can't really say that she has a strong hobby, the best I can say is that she likes to be in a positive and comfortable environment which usually involves being around people.

    Otherwise Marmie, I totally agree with you with regards to the whole Fi and the common idea of interpersonal intelligence. She has her values, it's just a lot more hidden than what I would have expected. Then again, I noticed than another ISFP e9 mentioned the same thing. I get this impression that 9s often struggle with questions such as "Who are you?" because of their adaptive function.

    Quote Originally Posted by Personality Cafe
    Hi! I'm jumping in to agree as an ISFP 9. I don't spend time thinking about or naming my values. In fact, I have a really hard time understaning any sort of justice system, even an individual-internal one. I consider myself well-meaning and strongly convicted, but not principled. (That's where the inconsistent and wishy-washy Fi thing comes in a little for me. It's getting better as my Ni gets better and I understand my own patterns. Buuuut.) I like to keep things flexible, just see what happens as it happens-- I'm scared that making premature judgements will not allow me to understand/ judge the full picture as it deserves to be judged. Not sure if that helps any... your friend does remind me of myself a bit, just from that description
    Let me think it through as well.

    ISTP - Can appear like this on superficial typing.
    ISFP - Would have believed her to be this. Though I probably was biased.
    ESTP - Lack of Ti is a problem.
    ESFP - Possible candidate now.

    ISFJ - Nope. She's totally different to me and another ISFJ I know.
    ISTJ - Possible, but would have figured she's more into planning her future if so.
    ESFJ - Unlikely (Her mum is an ESFJ so would be an influencing factor)
    ESTJ - If she's this... I was so wrong in my first impressions. She doesn't really have the whole drive factor that I'd expect in an ESJ type though.

    Thanks for all the feedback people. Think I might be nearing the end of this mystery.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nostradumas View Post
    I was going to say "hopefully you"
    Haha. Nice. I totally didn't see that, Oh jezz... Can be so blind at times. ^^'

    (don't know her age but guessing she isn't that old)
    She turned 22 recently.

  3. #13
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    how old is she? life circumstances? I wonder if she has a big focus on her tertiary right now
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    how old is she? life circumstances? I wonder if she has a big focus on her tertiary right now
    Recently graduated from university but hasn't really decided what she'd like to do in terms of a career. Casually thinking about potential options?
    It seems to be a bit of an uncomfortable subject since she feels like other people have mapped out their future, while she's still uncertain about what she truly wants. Sometimes I offer to help her figure out this sort of stuff (figuring out what motivates herself) but I don't push it too much, otherwise it's just unnecessary pressure that will cause her to stress out. I don't like watching her get upset. *shrugs*

    Given how I often cite tertiary temptation as a reason that I appear to be underdeveloped in terms of Fe, I'm surprised I haven't considered that she went through the same process as well. An ESFP with tertiary temptation is much more likely than an ISFP who utilises a large amount of Te right? Even when the times Te is most apparent is during arguments (so used in a negative sense)...

    I chalked it down to this thread. The Form of the Inferior - IFP
    It's too bad they don't have one for ESFP/ESTPs... >____<

    Edit: Haha. Just saw that it came from TypeC.
    Awesome. There is an ESP one.

  5. #15
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    @Kai

    Okay, well I can tell you that as someone with very developed Fi (and probably an Fi dom, though I could be an Fi aux, maybe, in some personality theory systems) even as a teenager I loved questions that had to do with developing my self and exploring my personality and internal motivations. I score very high on intrapersonal on multiple intelligences tests. I would think this is the norm for Fi types, though in an ExFP it is definitely possible to have under-developed Fi due to neglecting the aux function and relying too much on the tertiary.

    I also can come across as cold sometimes, and other times I come across as almost explosively and dramatically emo. I'm a 6 rather than a 9, though.

    If she has "general interests" in a comfortable environment around people, then Pe dom is very possible. I also see why you think she's a 9. They can have an underdeveloped sense of themselves without others and focus more on comfort and escape than anything.

    The reason you hesitate to type your gf as ESFP is the same reason I've hesitated to type myself as ESFP rather than ISFP.

    However, you may be right about her being ISFP rather than ESFP. Some ISFPs are *too comfortable* and lack drive and initiative because of rejection of inferior Te. Your gf very well may be ISFP, it just sounds strange that she doesn't like things that sound like very Fi strengths.

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    @Kai

    Also, I can tell that I had an ISTJ in my life who would ask "pushing" questions sometimes at the wrong time. I actually need SJs in my life to do this to a certain extent, but like for example, when I was already upset or overwhelmed by a situation, I guess he would get upset too, and be like "what are you going to do? You have to do this. You need to do xyz" and be really ...um...strict? ...about it. At like 11 o clock at night. I realize he was doing it because he cared about me, but you're never going to motivate an Fi dom when they are upset or overwhelmed like that. It doesn't make any sense.

    Prodding your xSFP gf is a good idea, actually, it's probably good for her, but make sure you do it at the right time. As an ISFJ, though, you're probably more likely to do it at the "right" time.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    @Kai

    Okay, well I can tell you that as someone with very developed Fi (and probably an Fi dom, though I could be an Fi aux, maybe, in some personality theory systems) even as a teenager I loved questions that had to do with developing my self and exploring my personality and internal motivations. I score very high on intrapersonal on multiple intelligences tests. I would think this is the norm for Fi types, though in an ExFP it is definitely possible to have under-developed Fi due to neglecting the aux function and relying too much on the tertiary.
    Pretty much. I'd normally associate Fi with a knowing of self-values and so forth. Perhaps it's the way I'm delivering these stuff. Even though she has her own sense of values, she might not appreciate me 'digging (sp/sx -> sp/so)' into her life so to speak. We've joked before about how I came across "Must find out more about you " sort of person.. I've contemplated about the idea that this might make her uncomfortable (I know it did in the past) that'd make her clam up. She doesn't like being put in the spotlight. Actually thinking about something else, she has mentioned several times over the course of our relationship that she sometimes has trouble putting her thoughts-feelings into words, especially if the subject matter is complicated or important. Something like self-identity would fall under that category.

    Interestingly enough, there have been so many times I've asked her before what she's thinking about to which I'd usually get the reply "Nothing". But recently she's mentioned that, when she's not doing much at all, she's actually thinking about these alternative scenarios that could have occurred "What if that thing hit the glass, I'd need to hide my head." after she asked me a weird question of whether covering the head is an evolved trait. Evidently, she deems most of these random thoughts as not really important and conversation-worthy, but it did give me insight to what she's truly thinking about when she says "nothing/nothing important".

    Edit: When I think about it, her having no interest in this stuff is ridiculous given that she studied psychology at undergraduate level. It'd be more accurate to say that she's just got other stuff she's more interested in (cooking, drama series, online games) basically stuff to do as opposed to purely thinking about stuff, at least not in the way I analyse myself. It's a lot more heavy I guess?

    If she has "general interests" in a comfortable environment around people, then Pe dom is very possible. I also see why you think she's a 9. They can have an underdeveloped sense of themselves without others and focus more on comfort and escape than anything.

    The reason you hesitate to type your gf as ESFP is the same reason I've hesitated to type myself as ESFP rather than ISFP.

    However, you may be right about her being ISFP rather than ESFP. Some ISFPs are *too comfortable* and lack drive and initiative because of rejection of inferior Te. Your gf very well may be ISFP, it just sounds strange that she doesn't like things that sound like very Fi strengths.
    If I were to use the basic idea of Shame, Fear, Anger as a way to categorise. I come up with 9 as the most likely enneagram type for her, given that while she's mostly a caring-empathetic individual. She can become irritated if she thinks people are intentionally being stupid and so forth. She did score 6 in another test, but when I asked her about anxiety and fear... she didn't really relate to it at all. I think 6s in general are the type of people who want to collect as much information about themselves and others. I know what you mean about personality tests since I'm a 6 as well.

    2 5 2 2 6 5 5 2 7 were the numbers she scored in this test.

    But yeah, not entirely sure about the whole prodding business, but I do know that she'd like me to take more charge in stuff when it comes to organizing stuff to do. Her values are actually pretty traditional when it comes to romance. Part of me wonders whether it's just her being quiet about it, and not wanting to come across as imposing. While this isn't related to type, I'm just wondering how much outside factors such as family upbringing (ESFJ mother) and the fact that she's the oldest of 3 would basically make her adopt the more "I need to be practical, organised and neat" approach even if it's not her natural thing.

    PS. Apologies for the long answers and stuff. I just constantly feel like I need to be as comprehensive as possible when providing information, to the extent that it might be overkill.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    Pretty much. I'd normally associate Fi with a knowing of self-values and so forth. Perhaps it's the way I'm delivering these stuff. Even though she has her own sense of values, she might not appreciate me 'digging (sp/sx -> sp/so)' into her life so to speak. We've joked before about how I came across "Must find out more about you " sort of person.. I've contemplated about the idea that this might make her uncomfortable (I know it did in the past) that'd make her clam up. She doesn't like being put in the spotlight. Actually thinking about something else, she has mentioned several times over the course of our relationship that she sometimes has trouble putting her thoughts-feelings into words, especially if the subject matter is complicated or important. Something like self-identity would fall under that category.

    Interestingly enough, there have been so many times I've asked her before what she's thinking about to which I'd usually get the reply "Nothing". But recently she's mentioned that, when she's not doing much at all, she's actually thinking about these alternative scenarios that could have occurred "What if that thing hit the glass, I'd need to hide my head." after she asked me a weird question of whether covering the head is an evolved trait. Evidently, she deems most of these random thoughts as not really important and conversation-worthy, but it did give me insight to what she's truly thinking about when she says "nothing/nothing important".



    If I were to use the basic idea of Shame, Fear, Anger as a way to categorise. I come up with 9 as the most likely enneagram type for her, given that while she's mostly a caring-empathetic individual. She can become irritated if she thinks people are intentionally being stupid and so forth. She did score 6 in another test, but when I asked her about anxiety and fear... she didn't really relate to it at all. I think 6s in general are the type of people who want to collect as much information about themselves and others. I know what you mean about personality tests since I'm a 6 as well.

    2 5 2 2 6 5 5 2 7 were the numbers she scored in this test.

    But yeah, not entirely sure about the whole prodding business, but I do know that she'd like me to take more charge in stuff when it comes to organizing stuff to do. Her values are actually pretty traditional when it comes to romance. Part of me wonders whether it's just her being quiet about it, and not wanting to come across as imposing. While this isn't related to type, I'm just wondering how much outside factors such as family upbringing (ESFJ mother) and the fact that she's the oldest of 3 would basically make her adopt the more "I need to be practical, organised and neat" approach even if it's not her natural thing.

    PS. Apologies for the long answers and stuff. I just constantly feel like I need to be as comprehensive as possible when providing information, to the extent that it might be overkill.
    I agree that she's an Se type if her "what if" thoughts are about tangible things, like "what if that thing hit the glass." Many Se types mistake themselves for Ns, especially NPs because Se types also look for possibilities...it's just that they are more concrete possibilities that are either in the immediate environment, or at least things that are tangible or factual, if being speculative.

    She may very well be an ISFP if she's that non-expressive. Not being able to put thoughts-feelings into words is a typical stereotype for an ISFP 9. She really is sounding more and more ISFP 9.

    I don't know her personally, of course.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I agree that she's an Se type if her "what if" thoughts are about tangible things, like "what if that thing hit the glass." Many Se types mistake themselves for Ns, especially NPs because Se types also look for possibilities...it's just that they are more concrete possibilities that are either in the immediate environment, or at least things that are tangible or factual, if being speculative.

    She may very well be an ISFP if she's that non-expressive. Not being able to put thoughts-feelings into words is a typical stereotype for an ISFP 9. She really is sounding more and more ISFP 9.

    I don't know her personally, of course.
    Yeah. I'll still be on the look out if I change my mind.
    ISFP and enneagram 9 sound like such a natural combination, but Fi with enneagram 9 seem relatively contrasted with each other.

    I get the feeling that this is one of those situation where she has her own values driving her, but I probably won't really be able to find them out entirely, especially if she's a SX last person.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    Yeah. I'll still be on the look out if I change my mind.
    ISFP and enneagram 9 sound like such a natural combination, but Fi with enneagram 9 seem relatively contrasted with each other.

    I get the feeling that this is one of those situation where she has her own values driving her, but I probably won't really be able to find them out entirely, especially if she's a SX last person.
    I'm thinking the possibility is strong now that she's an ISFP, because asking if head-hiding is an evolved trait isn't a "weird" question, in my opinion. However, to someone who rejects Ne, someone with tertiary Ni might seem to ask "weird" questions about things that just happened in the Se environment.

    Like JTG1984 is an ISTJ (the one I mentioned above) and he is uber-convinced I am an ISFP, that I'm Se driven, but not an Se dom, and he would ask me very occasionally "where do you get this shit?" and I think in those moments I was using more Ni and his Si was like "fuck you."

    Since I'm not a 9, it's hard for me sometimes to understand their motivations, just like it's hard for some people to fathom an ISFP being a counterphobic 6. Like people seem to want me to be ExFP, or Eminem (who is another counterphobic 6 ISFP) people seem to want him to be ISTP, even though he's obviously an Fi type.

    In my shoes, just to see
    What it's like, to be me
    I'll be you, let's trade shoes
    Just to see what it'd be like

    To feel your pain, you feel mine
    Go inside each others' minds
    Just to see what we'd find
    Look at shit through each others' eyes

    Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful
    They can all get fucked, just stay true to you
    So don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful
    They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

    ....

    Now this looks like a job for me
    So everybody just follow me
    'Cause we need a little controversy
    'Cause it feels so empty without me

    ...

    I don't give a damn what you think,
    I'm doin this for me, so fuck the world...
    I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
    To take a stand (to take a stand)
    Everybody (everybody)
    Come take my hand (come take my hand)
    If Eminem isn't an Fi dom counterphobic 6w5, I will eat my hat. The 5 wing makes him seem more IxTP-ish and my 7 wing makes me seem more ExFP-ish.

    Anyway, just be careful of typing your girlfriend as ISFP BECAUSE she is a 9. I used to make that mistake. Not that ISFPs are all 9s, but that the way a 9 behaves is what an ISFP somehow *is.*

    Because it isn't.

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