I have had issues with typing myself for plenty of reasons, and i've been at this for about 2 years. I find contradictions in the entire system and it messed with me. The reason I'm writing this thread is because at the moment, I feel to have the best understanding I have had of myself in a really long time. I have finally been able to climb over this wall of a rut, that I built I guess from being such a chameleon at times. That, mixed with peoples opinions I guess at the time....they made me start kind of questioning that I may be one way, when I'm not. In turn, kind of making me lose myself in a way. Getting this all out and making it make sense has been a hard task. It has also taken me a long time to realize a lot about myself. This has been a long process for myself, and now that i've done it, writing a type me thread only felt appropriate to get new feedback, that's based more on how I really am. (I've always been this way though, not a new discovery, but it's just that whenever I write a thread I get biased with putting information about myself that isn't really that accurate.)
Also I find contradictions with the entire system and it throws me off, because I never seem to be able to get an understanding that just lets me type myself.
Example. Someone could think they are more of a feeling type, but agree with let's say, INTJ and justify their "feelings" with an enneagram type, and visa vera. Let's say someone is an INFJ. Type 4 gives them the ability to incorporate Fi in there somewhere. You could be anything..... INFJ type 5 if you think you are somewhat "T like" and lets say INTJ type 4, to solve you contemplating your emotional "Fi side". I'm not sure if I'm for example some other type, or an INFJ type 5, as i've been told was possible. Enough with the stereotypes, but it's something I've noticed, and has been something that has made driven me in circles before.
Anywho, this may be long but I will put any random information I can think about myself, you can skim and do as you please, and then let me know what you come up with maybe, and what type you think I fit according to your perception of whatever I write. Explanations would be awesome.
-I contemplate everything around me. Since I was a child, I tried to make everything make sense, and if it didn't i'd ask until I get enough information that would make it make sense to me, at least for the time being, knowing at some point in life i'd figure it out. This sort of thing happened when I was like 6 and asked about human existence. My parent's lovely answer. "Oh god did it".... My reply being something like,
"Nooooo, I'm serious tell meeeeee. But that doesn't make sense.... where did "god" come from?"
Parent's: " The star led the three wise men..."
Me : "Stars lead people places? what........ no.......huh? but....." -_-
Parent's: Omg it just happened that way and that's that, okay!?"
Me: Okay.... -___-
I grew up having some idea that god could be real, but it is fading, and if not, has already.
Now as I am not a child anymore, I talk with people, research and read online, and take classes.
-I go in depth with mostly everything. Clear Explanations are awesome for me. I like explanations that make some type of sense. If you explain something and it doesn't correlate with the same thing you told me about a week ago I quickly notice, and it's like... "um.. that makes no sense you said this" (in my head usually).... But then.. that's contradicting... what? And by this point the person is annoyed at me. Getting an explanation that something is just a vibe or a gut feeling, doesn't work for me if I want an actual explanation that can be explained.
-I pretty much just go along with things, without making a fuss. If people want to go to eat somewhere I don't want, I just say it's fine, because it technically is, I'm sure I can find something. I know people that refuse to go places just, because. I'm more let live in those kind of moments.
-It's hard for me to get things down into verbal words, things make a lot more sense in my head then coming from me when I try speaking.
-Typical, but I dislike being around people, and my room is my haven.
-Typical again, but I'm super detached... from everything around me, the world, and feelings. It's feels sort of like I'm a brain stuck with a body. It's a feeling i've had my entire life. I'm so far in my head, that I feel like a just a "being" stuck inside a human body. I'm just controlling the body from my brain, somewhat reminiscent of a puppet. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not feel this way and perceive everything the way I don I'm assuming people a lot of people feel "alive", at least the ones around me because I could ask, and I'm curious to know what that feels like.
Perceiving everything around me, being "here" in some way, living in the "here and now" every now and then sounds like it'd be great.
-I over think everything, the workings of everything, why things are the way they are. I think about human kind, and all of this, as natural as i'm sure it is for some people, would be great if I could control when I think. My brain is on overdrive all day it seems, my entire life. Wikipedia and the internet are my best friends.
-I've tried over the past few years to come off more emotional, I'm assuming subconsciously because I am a girl. If someone called me cold, I would say or show I cared at some point, and try to come off more emotional around them, or come off like I'm hurt by something they said, when I really just think "People would be offended by this right? Okay I assume I should be too, so I'll act like it now." And then I go and do it. It became easier over time, to the point that at times I kinda started believing I was emotional, and an over all moody person. (Which I don't really think I am.) I think I wanted to come off like an "F" type..... Not saying I'm not, but I know I was conscious of it when acting or saying certain things, so I'm assuming it's relevant information......Which leads me to my next point.
- I don't think I am that much of a moody person. I'm pretty stable most of the time, and can obviously become unhappy and junk, but, it's mostly just average.
-A function I think I use highly is Ti, though who knows. Just from what i've read and know. I'm pretty big on things making sense, picking it apart and trying to understand it thourougly. I'm just not sure what my main thing is.
-When I take functions tests I score high on Ni, Ti, Fi, and lastly Si as my sensing function. I agree with those myself, and I get them as results on my tests too. I don't really agree with any of the extroverted functions descriptions that much except maybe Ne somewhat. That's about it though, and I know it's not possible according to MBTI to have all introverted functions as the top 4.
-I don't feel mushy or nice when I see nice things around me. Romantic things on tv, babies, etc. Nothing makes me feel anything like "awe". I can pretend and show it in words. If someone asks me if that was adorable, I could say "Yeah, I just don't show emotion on my face, you know that." or something like that.
-I'm not that emotional, I don't think. I can watch the news for example and not care, as mean as it sounds. When I was little I would tell my mother "I care about animals.. not this...."
-Most things said to me don't really bother me, and I'm not sure but an issue i've had with going toward NF types for example is that, even though I'm sure I have them, I don't think I'm very big on morals.. You can so called "step on them" dance all around them and stomp them to death. Defy them, and I couldn't care less. I don't even know what my morals are for the most part, or care about them that highly, but that's how I know I'm not big on them. And I'm sure I have tried to find something I highly take a stance on or believe is "right" or "wrong"...and ....yeah..I can't really think of anything.
-I tend to act kind of opposite than the person I'm around, usually when they are one extreme, like really outgoing, or shy. And act certain ways around certain groups of people because I know they have a preconceived notion of me.
- I have gotten "gut" feelings before, but I tend to defy them because they make no sense. I sometimes follow it though but am still not sure why I do it. Because I have read I should do so according to what I was typed, or just do. My gut feelings do tend to be right though. I usually think I should have followed it when I go against it on purpose, if it was true.
- I often watch people, and think they are kind of easily amused by things, and that they are highly predictable. I usually don't respond in the ways I observe in others. An example could be someone listening to a professor speak or anyone really speaking about something. The speaker want some evident reaction from his audience. They word things to get a certain response. The audience hears something that resonates with them, and they proceed to nod their heads in approval. When that person is clearly wording everything in their speech to get that exact reaction from their audience. They fall for it. It can get tiring. I usually guess what people are going to do or say.
This is long and messy..... Due to me not knowing what to include or what to leave out, and I'm sure I missed stuff I meant to include.
Even though I wrote a lot, if you have any questions at all that could help with typing me, feel free to ask. If you have any opinions on my enneagram that'd be interesting to hear too.
Thank you again.