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Thread: Type 6 or 9?

  1. #11
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hazashin View Post
    Do you think 6s can be more low-key, pacifistic, easy-going, and accepting as me? While I do worry and doubt, I, for the most part, I am not hyper-vigilant, I am sometimes absent-minded, I do not have high energy (though I do every so often gets spouts of energy), I am afraid of conflict, and I intensely avoid upsetting anyone because I do not want to hurt people's feelings/get them upset. I just care about people too much.
    I do think this is possible. Every 6 is different, and as long as you feel that it's the best fit overall, the details don't matter too much.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    The parts in 9 you bolded could easily apply to type 6. Your struggle with doubt, worry, and indecision could be why you relate to the action/inaction dichotomy. Anxiety obviously applies to sixes as well, and passivity could easily fit too.
    Yeah, here's highlander's take on this and the part that I bolded, which especially highlights this phenomenon.

    Anxiety to the point of indecision and existential crisis occurs for me, especially at my worst.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hazashin View Post
    Also, can 6s be very attentive to not upsetting people? I get DISGUSTED if I upset anyone/hurt anyone's feelings.
    I know that 9 is stereotypically the type that strives for harmony, but I also highly, highly prioritize not upsetting people. I tend to want everyone to have an amicable solution, all the time. Most importantly, I don't want to be the cause of conflict.

    I don't mean to sway you toward 6.. just giving you the stuff that I identify with.

  3. #13
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Yeah, here's highlander's take on this and the part that I bolded, which especially highlights this phenomenon.

    Anxiety to the point of indecision and existential crisis occurs for me, especially at my worst.


    I know that 9 is stereotypically the type that strives for harmony, but I also highly, highly prioritize not upsetting people. I tend to want everyone to have an amicable solution, all the time. Most importantly, I don't want to be the cause of conflict.

    I don't mean to sway you toward 6.. just giving you the stuff that I identify with.
    this sounds much more 6w7 than 6w5
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  4. #14
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hazashin View Post
    Do you know if it's possible to be both easy-going/laid back and worrying at the same time? I'd say about 70% of the time, I am laid back/easy-going/"chill", and even when I am getting upset/uptight/anxious, I don't become all frantic and panicky (95% of the time), I mostly internalize it. Like, I guess you could say that when I do feel worried, it's mostly going on in my mind (though sometimes it converts to physical actions of my body if it's really bad, such as sweating, shaking, dizziness, etc.), and I mostly maintain a stable composure. Although it is often easy to tell if something is worrying me, I react calmly. I don't freak out unless I'm angry about something. If I'm feeling very afraid, it permeates throughout my body, and my heart starts to beat insanely fast. I've even almost passed out a few times (these were times when I was approaching my crush to talk to her or give her a gift).

    Also, can 6s be very attentive to not upsetting people? I get DISGUSTED if I upset anyone/hurt anyone's feelings.

    Am I making sense?
    Honestly, you do sound quite a lot like me, except based on your self-descriptions you sound more anxious and more timid, and with more self-esteem issues than I have. (I'm really sorry if that sounds mean, I'm just being honest! ) I think you are quite a bit younger than me though (I'm early thirties) so much of that will probably work itself out.

    But yeah, I somehow manage to be both laid-back and anxious. It's an odd one. A lot of things don't faze me, but those which do can faze me A LOT. I look visibly calm - I speak fairly slowly and deliberately, etc. I regularly get told I seem very calm. But sometimes, if I am genuinely struggling with anxiety, it's almost like a coping mechanism. I think that there are an awful lot of things I just let go and am easy-going about partly because I know that when things DO get me upset, stressed and anxious, it can be very destructive. So I don't want to experience that more than necessary.

    People are often surprised at how anxious I can be, though, because mainly they've seen the calm exterior. I'm actually being more direct with people about that. (Not sure if it has made much difference so far!). If it is appropriate/useful, I will say things like "I know I look calm, and a lot of things genuinely don't bother me, but you should know that I am a lot more sensitive and anxious than I look." Like you I internalize a lot, but sometimes that makes me physically ill, and if under major emotional stress I can shake, have a racing heart, nausea etc. (It has to be pretty bad though). I also suffer from a couple of phobias (not to an extreme level, but still bad enough) and generally my mind generates loads of possibilities for what may go wrong. I come from a family of worriers. Whenever I tell my parents I'm making a major-ish change in my life, even if I've given it serious thought, they always get anxious and go "but what about this? but did you think about that?". They know I'm pretty responsible and that I've probably thought it through! But it's almost automatic. It makes us conscientious and responsible, but also anxious and a bit too tentative/non-spontaneous.

    I'm also very loyal but I worry about betrayal and unreliability. I certainly do worry about hurting people's feelings too, I can really feel it in myself if I've said something careless or hurtful. Although - if someone has hurt my feelings enough or seems unpleasant enough, I can get quite cold, numb and hard and say hurtful things without caring much. It's not really "me" but it's one side of me under unpleasant circumstances. With most people I'd be tactful, kind and fairly cautious about what I say.

    Have you looked into the whole phobic/counterphobic thing? I tend to think any 6 can swing both ways but you're more inclined to one or the other. I'd be mainly phobic but I can feel myself swing to one side or another. I can be fairly aggressive if I feel angry and threatened, at least if I'm pushed far enough.

    Hope some of this helps! I am still not sure which one you are, 6 or 9. But they certainly can resemble each other. I'm slightly leaning toward 6 for you but I would, wouldn't I?
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  5. #15
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hazashin View Post
    Do you think 6s can be more low-key, pacifistic, easy-going, and accepting as me? While I do worry and doubt, I, for the most part, I am not hyper-vigilant, I am sometimes absent-minded, I do not have high energy (though I do every so often gets spouts of energy), I am afraid of conflict, and I intensely avoid upsetting anyone because I do not want to hurt people's feelings/get them upset. I just care about people too much.
    I'd like to describe myself as pacifistic, easy-going and accepting. Not sure about low key though... I tend to be a little odd in that sense where I'm afraid that I'll screw up completely (making me want to hide) and getting a sudden determination to confront things (speaking in public). This is how the whole fear - courage thing manifests in my number 6 anyway. I want to prove that I'm capable of courage or something? Then again maybe I've got a bit of a wanna-be hero complex. (see below) Haha... Oh dear =.=

    But, usually I'm in a low key passive mode unless I'm pushed or annoyed. It also manifests in my desire to support to underdog, where I'll suddenly gain a lot of courage in order to protect and back up people. I would have figured that this sort of thing might be typical of 6s though, at least those with a feeling bent.

  6. #16
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Eh the majority of your descriptors are like

    "Sometimes very X, but ALMOST NEVER X"

    it's not really easy to deal with this information format
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  7. #17
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Eh the majority of your descriptors are like

    "Sometimes very X, but ALMOST NEVER X"

    it's not really easy to deal with this information format

    Makes him sound 6ish though, wouldn't you say?
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  8. #18
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Although I sadly lack any useful advice whatsoever, I simply want to say: Boy, do I relate. Another 6/9 fence-sitter here.

    (Curiously, I used to fancy myself a 5...)

    Oh, by the way, have you looked into the strength/beauty dichotomy of the Sexual 6? It can shed some light on the phobic thing...
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  9. #19
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    If he is an 6, he's not a Sx-dom, not enough intense and reactive and power-seeker. He is a Self-pres 6: warmth and cordiality, very 9ish.
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  10. #20
    Secret Sex Freak Hazashin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    If he is an 6, he's not a Sx-dom, not enough intense and reactive and power-seeker. He is a Self-pres 6: warmth and cordiality, very 9ish.
    But Speed, I took the official test on the Enneagram Institute's website, and this is what I got:



    I think Sp and So are close enough that it could swing one way or the other (and I lean toward Sp, from what I know about myself), but it seems apparent that I am an Sx-dominant. I am just a phobic Sx-dominant 6.
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