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  • INFJ

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  • INFP

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  • ENFJ

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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hazashin View Post
    Why? Everybody's different in some way or another. That doesn't mean you can't be close to your family if you have different values. Accepting people for who they are (as long as they aren't harmful or destructive/self-destructive; in which case, it's good to try to help them) is one of the best things you could do. Even if your family is disappointed in you for having different beliefs, just continue to love them just as much and understand where they're coming from. Eventually, they'll (most likely) accept you. That's what I did with my family (my family, with the exception of my 15 year-old sister, is conservative and very religious-value oriented, whereas I am a bleeding heart liberal atheist).
    I think you misunderstood me at some point.
    It's not like I wouldn't feel close to them if I wasn't like them. I don't obligate myself to think or force anything to do it. The main thing is that the values of my family just match, naturally, with mine. That's what I internalized.
    As well, it doesn't mean that I do not accept people who are different from me. Contrariwise, I'm fairly tolerant, my friends are not like me, in values, characteristics etc. And I really don't like closed-minded people. I'm really accepting of the values of others, but it won't change mine. And I won't push my values on others too. And I use it the help people a lot. To find a way of themselves. This way I have good relations with people that are totally different from me.
    You sounded like you thought that I was a intolerant person just because I have this characteristic. What is totally different from reality.

  2. #12
    Secret Sex Freak Hazashin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilentNight View Post
    I think you misunderstood me at some point.
    It's not like I wouldn't feel close to them if I wasn't like them. I don't obligate myself to think or force anything to do it. The main thing is that the values of my family just match, naturally, with mine. That's what I internalized.
    As well, it doesn't mean that I do not accept people who are different from me. Contrariwise, I'm fairly tolerant, my friends are not like me, in values, characteristics etc. And I really don't like closed-minded people. I'm really accepting of the values of others, but it won't change mine. And I won't push my values on others too. And I use it the help people a lot. To find a way of themselves. This way I have good relations with people that are totally different from me.
    You sounded like you thought that I was a intolerant person just because I have this characteristic. What is totally different from reality.
    I think you misunderstood me a bit, as well. I wasn't saying you weren't tolerant or any of that, I was merely saying that so that you could see why I said that disagreeing with your family's values isn't bad. The reason why I thought you had adopted your parents'/family's values in the first place was because, from how I interpreted what you said, I thought you didn't want to go against what they stood for so as to "keep the peace". I guess this isn't the case.
    MBTI: INFP
    Enneagram: 6w7, phobic
    Tritype: 6-9-2
    Instinctual Variant: Sx/Sp
    Temperament: Pure Supine
    D&D Alignment: Neutral Good
    Political Stance: Solid Liberal
    Religious Views: Atheist

    Fi > Ne > Ti > Fe > Se > Si > Te > Ni

    "Forgiveness means letting go of the past." ~ Gerald Jampolsky
    "I am justice!" ~ Light Yagami, Death Note
    "The choices people make tell you a lot about a person, but the reasons [...] tell you even more." ~ Albus Dumbledore (paraphrased)

    Tatiana ♥

  3. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hazashin View Post
    I think you misunderstood me a bit, as well. I wasn't saying you weren't tolerant or any of that, I was merely saying that so that you could see why I said that disagreeing with your family's values isn't bad. The reason why I thought you had adopted your parents'/family's values in the first place was because, from how I interpreted what you said, I thought you didn't want to go against what they stood for so as to "keep the peace". I guess this isn't the case.
    Yes, it really isn't the case... It was just a thing that happened naturally. So much so that when I disagree with them I'm really not afraid to express myself, even if it will create some conflict/ discussion.

    I'm not a lamb, or anything, hehe. Not that!

  4. #14
    Secret Sex Freak Hazashin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilentNight View Post
    Yes, it really isn't the case... It was just a thing that happened naturally. So much so that when I disagree with them I'm really not afraid to express myself, even if it will create some conflict/ discussion.

    I'm not a lamb, or anything, hehe. Not that!
    I don't know, I guess it just seems contradictory to this statement:

    I couldn't be comfortable having values that conflict with the ones my family hold.
    MBTI: INFP
    Enneagram: 6w7, phobic
    Tritype: 6-9-2
    Instinctual Variant: Sx/Sp
    Temperament: Pure Supine
    D&D Alignment: Neutral Good
    Political Stance: Solid Liberal
    Religious Views: Atheist

    Fi > Ne > Ti > Fe > Se > Si > Te > Ni

    "Forgiveness means letting go of the past." ~ Gerald Jampolsky
    "I am justice!" ~ Light Yagami, Death Note
    "The choices people make tell you a lot about a person, but the reasons [...] tell you even more." ~ Albus Dumbledore (paraphrased)

    Tatiana ♥

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hazashin View Post
    I don't know, I guess it just seems contradictory to this statement:
    I couldn't be comfortable having values that conflict with the ones my family hold.
    No, it's not, maybe I didn't expressed myself well, but it wasn't the idea.
    What I wanted to say is that it would seem unnatural to me if I was a completely odd to them, it wouldn't be myself. I naturally fit with them. Just it.

    (And all this discussion is becoming a bit off topic.)

  6. #16
    Secret Sex Freak Hazashin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilentNight View Post
    No, it's not, maybe I didn't expressed myself well, but it wasn't the idea.
    What I wanted to say is that it would seem unnatural to me if I was a completely odd to them, it wouldn't be myself. I naturally fit with them. Just it.

    (And all this discussion is becoming a bit off topic.)
    Why do you feel that way though? Do you think it's because they're your family, and you regard their opinion more than most everybody else's? Or do you think you just happen to have the same values as them?
    MBTI: INFP
    Enneagram: 6w7, phobic
    Tritype: 6-9-2
    Instinctual Variant: Sx/Sp
    Temperament: Pure Supine
    D&D Alignment: Neutral Good
    Political Stance: Solid Liberal
    Religious Views: Atheist

    Fi > Ne > Ti > Fe > Se > Si > Te > Ni

    "Forgiveness means letting go of the past." ~ Gerald Jampolsky
    "I am justice!" ~ Light Yagami, Death Note
    "The choices people make tell you a lot about a person, but the reasons [...] tell you even more." ~ Albus Dumbledore (paraphrased)

    Tatiana ♥

  7. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hazashin View Post
    Why do you feel that way though? Do you think it's because they're your family, and you regard their opinion more than most everybody else's? Or do you think you just happen to have the same values as them?
    I just happen to have the same values as them. I was pretty clear when I said it was natural before...

  8. #18
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    Sure sounds familiar; INFJ!
    "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it" --Aristotle

  9. #19
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilentNight View Post
    Fe: that's it. I couldn't be comfortable having values that conflict with the ones my family hold. And I connect to people using points in common between us to create a sense of closeness and identification.

    Despite this, I have some characteristics that match with Fi, like appreciating the individual essence of others (what can be also Ni+Fe related, and work differently). And I'm very authentic, but not about my values (that are, inside and outside, the ones I learned, mainly), but more about my way of seeing things...
    Yep, sounds like you're a XNFJ if you identify so much with Ni and Fe; not to mention you're already misunderstanding Fi

    People make the mistake of thinking Fi means giving the finger to society and doing whatever the hell you want. Fi doms are some of the most caring and empathic people there are; they just relate to people in a different way than Fe-users. Instead of looking outward to learn how to treat others, they look inward. They think, "how would I want to be treated?" or "how would I feel if I were in that situation?", and they then apply that in their behaviour towards others. The use of the word "authenticity" is very significant among xxFPs. To them it's not merely about being genuine (because, of course, Fe-users can certainly be this also), it's about not letting yourself be corrupted by outside forces and preserving a strong sense of individuality.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  10. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Yep, sounds like you're a XNFJ if you identify so much with Ni and Fe; not to mention you're already misunderstanding Fi

    People make the mistake of thinking Fi means giving the finger to society and doing whatever the hell you want. Fi doms are some of the most caring and empathic people there are; they just relate to people in a different way than Fe-users. Instead of looking outward to learn how to treat others, they look inward. They think, "how would I want to be treated?" or "how would I feel if I were in that situation?", and they then apply that in their behaviour towards others. The use of the word "authenticity" is very significant among xxFPs. To them it's not merely about being genuine (because, of course, Fe-users can certainly be this also), it's about not letting yourself be corrupted by outside forces and preserving a strong sense of individuality.
    Hahahahaha, I see...
    But I have to say that the part of not letting myself be corrupted by outside forces and preserving a strong sense of individuality is a blatant characteristic about me too... Oh my God, I stick to what I believe so strongly that it's difficult to convince me to follow another path, or to be another way! People call several times "incorruptible". Can it be also a characteristic of introversion?

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