Enneatype and Instinctual Variant?
Now this one is a little tricky. I think I decided I was a 6 at first because I have trouble making decisions, have a little trouble adapting to new situations, am fairly co-dependent, have issues with rejection, am pretty loyal, and sometimes get anxious. Those are all characteristic of a Type 6; however
- I am usually not fearful (unless I am going to talk to a girl I have feelings for, my body is at risk of being severely injured or killed, or presenting/speaking in front of a group or crowd of people)
- I am not high-strung (I am relaxed, laid-back, and easy-going, for the most part)
- I am usually trusting of people (sometimes to the point of gullible)
- I do not feel like I need security, just encouragement or support.
- All of this, among other few minor things that I can't think of at the moment.
So, if I'm not a Type 6, I have deduced that I am either a Type 9 who resembles a Type 6 because of stress and disintegration, or a Type 2. Like I said earlier, I love loving people, helping people, being nice to them, encouraging them, and caring for them, and I can't tell if it's because I have an unconscious desire to be loved back or not. I feel like I'm doing it out of the kindness of my heart rather than trying to get something back, but I am not sure of my judgment on this matter. I suppose it's nice to be loved though, but that can tie in with Sx, which I suspect may be my dominant instinct. But, basically, here are my similarities with both types:
- like being helpful, friendly, and sympathetic
- like feeling loved
- non-confrontational, timid
- passive, compliant (more often than not)
- docile, pacifistic
- laid-back, calm (more often than not)
- express 6-like qualities that could be connected through disintegration
And now, here's the part I'm having the most trouble with: my instinctual variant. At first, I firmly decided that I was an So-last type because I did not relate with general descriptions of "being at one with the social sphere" and feeling connected to the outward energy of the world and especially not with being concerned with artificial social structures and being "involved". I am also individualistic. That being said, I do have a degree of social shame. For example, I like feeling comfortable, so I like to wear sweatpants and gym shorts. But when I dress like this out, or if I'm not matching, in public, I have this feeling over me that people are looking at me and thinking poorly of way. I hate that that sort of judgment exists, but it does. I can't stand it. It irks me. I like being who I am, but I am also concerned with how people view/judge me. I am very self-conscious. Maybe it's just because I'm an introvert? Either way, even though I do not like it, I am aware of group dynamics. I'm not sure if this is indicative of being in-tune or out-of-tune with my Social instinct. But, even though I do not like that feeling like I'm being unfairly judged because of trivial societal/community standards, I do not change for them because I like being who I am. Take what you will of that.
As for Sp, I'm not sure what to make of this. The instinct by itself doesn't sound like me, as I am not very concerned with my health, financial support, having enough resources, etcs., and everything else associated with the Sp instinct, aside from safety, but it's somewhat similar to Type 6 and when it is combined with Sx, it makes for an inwardly intense and more low-key type, which feels like who I am. The part that does feel like me is that I am concerned with the safety of my physical body. I'm not sure if it's a symptom of being a Type 6 or just my Self-preservation instinct, but I tend to worry about getting injured. For example, I get uneasy when I'm driving in a car and the person goes over 60 mph, accelerates really quickly, or recklessly drives. So I don't dive into dare-devilish things that put my body into harm's way normally. I also like feeling comfortable, but not to the point where I worry about it constantly. But is this enough to be considered an Sp type?
And lastly, let's look at Sx. Here are my similarities I share with it:
- love/fantasize about romance (but authentic, not the cliche stuff on movies)
- get really obsessed/attached with interests
- get very obsessed and attached with girls who I am infatuated with
- love intense emotions (other than anger), even sadness
- can get very lustful
- love one-on-one interaction
- have a few but very close friendships
- look for connection with almost every person I meet
- care more about the quality of my interpersonal relationships than the quantity
- very competitive
Here are differences I have:
- usually unenthusiastic
- non-energetic (more often than not), low-key
- avoid risk-taking, passive
- not aggressive
- do not usually try very hard to look attractive (unless I know I am going to be see someone I like)
- somewhat detached physically
- do not engage much eye contact because of my lack of confidence, even if I love the person's eyes (although I like staring at them if they are looking in another direction)
So what do you think?