Been thinking about this issue for a while and can't seem to figure it out. I seem to identify with sections from all three variants to a reasonable degree.
+ I like the idea of freedom and independence.
+ If I've spent too much time with people (besides my girlfriend): I start feeling like I'm losing my own time to do what I want.
+ Most of my life, I've been sort of a 'loner' type individual who had a few close friends.
+ I devote a lot of time into understanding myself via personality theories etc.
- When it comes to physical health. I'm terrible sleep/food/fitness as I enjoy playing more.
- Time-management skills are also terrible. Effectively, by being constantly lazy, I'm aware that I'm most likely jeopardising my future.
+ I like to believe I'm aware of group-dynamics, or at least like to try and understand how people relate to each other.
+ I can see when people feel excluded from a group, and sometimes want to be a peacemaker (if it's within my ability).
+ For the most part I've felt a desire to make a difference within society, perhaps in the educational-relationship sector.
+ Within my university course: I've volunteered for stuff like course representative/psychology society committee even if I suck at it.
- The desire to make a difference sometimes feels more like a selfish desire, wanting to be acknowledged and appreciated.
- If I don't feel like I can be my natural self, I'm likely to feel uncomfortable in any groups even if they are friendly and positive.
- Most of the above could be explained by the fact that I'm not that great in the social arena, I don't really know how to banter or make people laugh a lot which I see as crucial elements in maintaining these group-dynamics. So I mostly sit back and observe.
- From time to time, when annoyed I'll retaliate against social expectations placed upon me if I really don't want to do something. (Prayer when I don't 100% believe, eating together as family, being told to stop being so asocial)
- I'm terrible at maintaining contact with friends, especially those I don't normally click easily in conversation because our friendship formed more on the basis of an activity-group during university.
+ I can relate to a 'scanning vibe' where I'll notice certain individuals (similarity, comforting or interesting) and then want to get to know them more in-depth. Most of my close friends are selected this way. Realise that it's elitism/picky, but I can't seem to help it.
+ I thrive on the type of conversations where we're trying to learn more about ourselves, and about others. Where we're asking questions about each other, and then offering our view points or experience in how we relate and so fourth. It can come across as narcissism when I'm talking about my self.
- While I like the idea of a 1 to 1 connection. Extremely intense/passionate people often intimidate me because I don't feel like I can keep up with them, and they'll grow bored of our interaction.
- I've never really experienced the feeling of merging, but again, it seems a little intimidating. I know there have been times when I intentionally limited contact with 'intense' people because it was absorbing too much of my time even if I felt like they were interesting individuals.
- A lot of times in the past, I felt like I'm just not very good at connecting with people on a deeper level since I struggle so much to find that connection. It's almost as if there was something wrong with me. But it's possible, that it's not to do with me 100%.