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  1. #11
    curiouser and curiouser bluestripes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    If you have anything more you want to talk about, go ahead.
    thanks. i think so. there was something i was going to ask about the functions and the T/F question, but again, it might take a while before i can reply - i've been exhausted over these last few days and my mind is not working as it should.

  2. #12
    curiouser and curiouser bluestripes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    INFPs can feel things intensely (and you seem to have described the intensity of your empathy very well). But NTs can feel things intensely, too…often, I think, because they don't regulate themselves so well and so it builds up and explodes all over them.
    this has happened to me, too, more than once. there was this one day just before i handed in my MA thesis (i think i was finishing the final version). i was sitting at work when something just – struck me. i think i felt the significance of everything i was seeing around me, the “there and then”, the sheer beauty that can be found in each crack in the wall or in the sunlight that was filtering through the window, and thought, one’s entire life consists of moments like those whose intensity gives one chills down the spine – how is one supposed to stand that? but then, that same life is far too short, and it’s difficult to comprehend the contrast between the intensity and the negligible time it lasts. but there had to be something else to it, too. i felt i was being inundated, drowning. i was speaking to a customer at the time and i’m not sure how i managed to finish the call without breaking down. i took a break for several minutes and seemed to go back to baseline somewhat, but then the feeling flared up once more. it continued to come in waves for what might have been the next half hour, or several hours. time seemed to stand still so i have no idea.

    i had been reading about sabre-toothed animals at the time, especially smilodon cats. their long teeth fascinated me and i wanted to find out how these could have evolved, and which adaptation mechanisms (such as changes in physique or hunting behavior) had to be adopted at the same time. at one point, i happened to think about smilodon cats and the feeling became even more unbearable. perhaps, in that frame of mind, it seemed too immense a loss that such a unique creature should have become extinct. i don’t know. all i knew was, something was there, it was overwhelming and alien and i could not control it. an eldritch abomination of an emotion.

    i did have such moments before. there was one day when i was thirteen or fourteen when i and my grandfather were having a walk in the forest, and i saw some damselflies (the sort that seem black, but, upon inspection, turn out to have an iridecent hue that changes from blue to green) fluttering above a small stream. in the evening, as i went to bed, i thought about them and it suddenly seemed unbearable that they should have a lifespan of several weeks or, at best, months. i could not stand the thought that they would not be there when i came next year. i cried uncontrollably, my mother discovered me and i think it took her a while before she could calm me down. the difference was that back then, the feeling seemed to make more sense to me – at least i could tell what it was that moved me so much.

    again, i guess this happens because the depression blots out most of my emotions, but once it starts to lift, they come back with a doubled intensity. there is this stark division between two states - the long "blanks" where the lights are either out or down, dimmed, so that everything looks dull, grayish and indistinct, and the moments inbetween that might well become too bright. similar to being blinded by a torch after being in a basement for a while and getting used to the dark.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    If you wondered if Se was strong with you, I don’t think it is! Not as one of the dominant functions anyway. The Se-users really live in the physical world. Their primary form of stimulation and interest (or at least a big part of it) comes from the external world. I don’t know that they could stand this kind of behaviour. They might well drive themselves crazy.
    very true. what made me have second thoughts for a moment was, i do enjoy and savor some physical sensations – sauna or steam baths, good food, beer, flowers, perfume scents, much more so than some people i know who deny this to themselves for various reasons (a few of them force themselves feel miserable and are, well, physically masochistic, others do not seem to be fond of the stimulation). but then, when one comes to think about it, it doesn’t mean that much.

    i think this is my way of taking in the outside world – in separate flashes, short snippets like these (which then trigger visual imagery or entire (day)dream sequences that can be written about or simply explored, if that makes sense). at other times, i do not shut it out entirely either, but i do tend to be somewhat oblivious to my surroundings, my body and its needs. i can save up on food for a month, for example, or just forget to eat once in a while because i am occupied with something else, and then have a single meal i am going to genuinely enjoy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    But also pretty clearly not dominant Si so I feel we can be quite certain on that account—you’re not an Si-dom.
    i thought so too.

    one thing i remembered that might appear to be more typical for a predominantly sensing type - and somewhat strange for an intuitive one - is that, as a child, i used to have no sense of humor. i was very literal, which meant i was constantly insulted by things said as a joke. i’m not sure whether it was sheer hypersensitivity (i overreacted to just about anything) or the fact that pragmatics was never a particular strength of mine. probably it was both. i failed to notice irony or sarcasm because the accompanying tone made no sense, but i would often feel the bitterness or, at any rate, the fact that there was something “wrong”, and took it personally.

    i still miss irony from time to time. i remember discussing a show i liked with a friend and telling her about a case of (borderline) interspecies romance i found touching. she was sceptical about the possible outcome and asked, at one point, “so she/it what, ate him?” i answered seriously that no, she did not, and proceeded to tell her what took place afterward – that the alien discovered that she cared for the human and had developed a genuine connection with him, etc. then, after some thirthy seconds had passed, i had a delayed reaction of “wait, what was this - irony?” this happens much more rarely than it used to. i have also developed a good sense of humor that my friends acknowledge, and i do understand jokes well, so i guess this might have been a temporary issue.

    i had similar difficulties with conventional metaphor and colloquialisms. some of them tended to produce a very inadequate reaction (as in, hysterical laughter). when i was around thirteen-fourteen, i used to keep a small english-to-english colloquial dictionary and open it at random pages for the giggles and the wild imagery the expressions gave me. it took a long time to get used to them. oddly enough, i never had the same difficulties with literary/poetic metaphor – probably because it can be easily recognized for what it is, and hasn’t (yet) been so overused as to lose its original meaning.

    i later taught myself colloquial russian and slang, much the same way one would learn a foreign language, and made a concerted effort to use it each time i talked to my friends. at this point i might well have a better command of it than some people who have used it since childhood. but it’s still a “second language”.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    This kind of thing is what I meant by getting to know oneself. If your experiments with hallucinogens etc was motivated by this kind of thing, then I would say it was Fi. I can't say, from where I'm standing, whether or not your experiments were motivated by these things. Only you can say, really. I just didn't want to say 'this sounds like Fi' or not because it's not as though different types can't get into those things for different reasons. Furthermore, other types can explore their Fi without necessarily being Fi-doms.
    it’s difficult to explain. to a large extent, it was about spirituality, trying to discover a connection to god, but i wanted to explore my own mind too. i’ve been thinking about writing a post re: the various theories i used to embrace or construct at the time, which were the reasoning behind this (i am not sure if the word “theory” is suitable for describing them, because those ideas were something i felt inside myself as much as they were intellectual), and placing it in the NF forum to see whether anyone might relate to that.

    i was going to ask: perhaps you know some articles or other resources about one’s shadow (or animus/anima) self and the way it relates to one’s actual type? (there was something else too, but i can’t seem to remember – trying to finish a fourteen0-page translation which i am doing, as usual, at the last moment)

  3. #13
    curiouser and curiouser bluestripes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    Hmm. I don’t know if this is the same thing but I get the sense that INFPs can go through something like this…a kind of disillusionment and a mistrusting of themselves and their dominant functions. In this state, their T function seems to become a kind of defence mechanism. I’m only speaking from what I see of INFPs talking about themselves. Many of them seem to go through a stage of typing as INTPs for whatever reason. It doesn’t help that the T/F binary seems to imply that Fs have no logic—which is, of course, not the case.
    it’s interesting that you mentioned this. i seem to have done to a similar extreme in my teens, but it was in the opposite direction. for quite a few years i vehemently dismissed logic as something that could be useleful in an everyday setting, but was worthless for discovering what i thought of as the deeper truth, the one that lies beneath the surface of things. i felt it could only be understood instinctively, or with the help of one’s emotions. (it is difficult to define what i meant by “truth”. but to me it was much more than just a vague word which one can supply with whatever meaning one finds suitable; it made sense on some instinctive level).

    if someone tended to make decisions on the basis of logic and was cautious about following their feelings, or even controlled them more than others, (s)he would seem to me to be “dry”, cold, callous, an empty shell of an individual. they seemed soul-dead. i don’t think i ever formulated it to myself this explicitly, but back then i thought that logical type = immoral.

    i didn’t think god was knowable through reasoning (in any sense), so i believed that traditional orthodox or catholic theology was useless, or even harmful, because it enabled one to wander around in circles and, as i thought, become lost in one’s own constructs without becoming any closer to god. to connect to him, i thought, one had to renounce one’s rational side altogether, perhaps even be prepared to be considered a lunatic.

    i even constructed my own little theory as to why we developed such a quality. i believed that, at first, when the first humans were in eden (or whatever was meant metaphorically by that name), they had no solid ego, so there were no boundaries between “self” and “other” or between different “selves”. of course, in that state, one cannot make evaluative judgments or single out cause-effect connections that well. one is just there. then, once the fall occurred, this state of harmony shattered (now that i think about this, it would have had to be womb-/tomb-like) and humans found out that they had developed an ego. they were now single, separate, and could no longer connect to each other or to their surroundings as easily as before. hence our capacity for logical thinking, which was the natural consequence of having an ego, and was also necessary for humanity to survive in its new condition.

    (it sounds insane and i suppose it is, but this is how i explained everything to myself at the time. the drive to deny my own logical side had to be that strong)

    there were personal reasons – my parents had tried to fashion a child prodigy out of me, though i was far from being one, and i was revolted by anything that reminded me of that. i went to great lengths to convince myself and others that i was not a thinking creature; i agreed with the assessment that i was rather stupid (well, i am, but not in the way i thought then), and, as my thinking is visual, i assumed that i had next to no ability for abstract reasoning. (this was blatantly untrue – i was spending whole days theorizing about this or that and spoke in statements which were so general they irritated or baffled others).

    and, of course, there was a lot of the generalized adolescent resentment/anger at “the system”, which i didn’t want to accept altogether. i believed that the various institutions that exist in society only serve to limit our freedom and to brainwash us into a certain limited view of the world. had it been 1967-69, i would have joined a commune and made one of its most model members.

    now, i don’t think i have gone the other way and started to deny my feelings instead (i value them a great deal, only they do not seem to be there most of the time). but i think my mind may have gone into a shutdown state of sorts, which migh have been the way it protected itself against being perpetually offended and/or upset. this became obvious as soon as i developed the first “down” phase - i suddenly realized that a barrier had appeared in several areas where i used to be very sensitive, and i felt different, harder, more unresponsive. after that, it felt as if some valves were being shut down inside me, one after another.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    Oh, you could also check this out about Fi if you haven’t already.
    thanks. i discovered the site when i had just become interested in mbti/jung typology, but didn’t read any of the descriptions (including this one) until you also mentioned it.

    i had an odd response to the summary on that page. it felt almost as if i were reading – well, about myself, which gave me something akin to a shudder (not in the negative sense). i never quite realized how fundamental this has been to me until now. i have always felt that a person is unique and should be valued for just that, for being who they are, but i never really gave much thought to that. it seemed just that obvious. (perhaps this is similar to what you said about sensory types, who do not realize they are following a routine precisely because this is so natural to them).

    after this, i suppose INFP might well be the only type that does fit me.
    "i love deadlines. i like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (c) douglas adams

    "there are only two ways to live your life. one is as though nothing is a miracle. the other is as though everything is a miracle." (c) albert einstein

    "if only i could grow with my eyes - like these leaves - into the depth" (c) sergei esenin

    "god is in the details" (c) proverb

  4. #14
    Member Bamboozle's Avatar
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    Sorry for the slow reply! I’ve been pretty busy, too, lately.


    this has happened to me, too, more than once.
    Actually, I think I know what you mean. I used to have moments like that when I was younger. I don’t think I was ever an Fi-dom—I still have a rocky relationship with Fi—but I think I had moments like the ones you’re talking about, too. Perhaps not so powerful but similar.

    I’m sorry to hear about your depression and how much it dampens your sense of the world. All I can say from here, I suppose, is take care of yourself!

    But, generally, I think what ends up exploding all over the NTs are negative feelings; anxieties and fears that they haven’t noticed have been building up over a long-period.

    very true. what made me have second thoughts for a moment was, i do enjoy and savor some physical sensations
    Oh, yes. Having a lesser connection with Se does not preclude anyone from enjoying the physical world. I certainly enjoy it! But I also know what you mean about taking in short snippets. It’s just that Se-doms don’t just enjoy it but think in the physical world, too. It’s a lot more difficult to be oblivious to it because it is their main realm of existence, thinking, etc.


    one thing i remembered that might appear to be more typical for a predominantly sensing type - and somewhat strange for an intuitive one - is that, as a child, i used to have no sense of humor. i was very literal
    I don’t think this precludes you from being an N. And, anyway, if you’re an INFP, Ne would be your style of N. I think Ni is superior to Ne in thinking up new meanings. Ne cobbles different things together and it’s good at extrapolating ideas from others but it’s really Ni that sees multiple meanings at the same time (which is what irony, sarcasm, metaphors, etc work with).

    when i was around thirteen-fourteen, i used to keep a small english-to-english colloquial dictionary and open it at random pages for the giggles and the wild imagery the expressions gave me. it took a long time to get used to them. oddly enough, i never had the same difficulties with literary/poetic metaphor – probably because it can be easily recognized for what it is, and hasn’t (yet) been so overused as to lose its original meaning.

    i later taught myself colloquial russian and slang, much the same way one would learn a foreign language, and made a concerted effort to use it each time i talked to my friends. at this point i might well have a better command of it than some people who have used it since childhood. but it’s still a “second language”.
    Haha, that’s very interesting!

    it’s difficult to explain. to a large extent, it was about spirituality, trying to discover a connection to god, but i wanted to explore my own mind too. i’ve been thinking about writing a post re: the various theories i used to embrace or construct at the time, which were the reasoning behind this (i am not sure if the word “theory” is suitable for describing them, because those ideas were something i felt inside myself as much as they were intellectual), and placing it in the NF forum to see whether anyone might relate to that.
    The bolded part strikes me as particularly INFP-y. I think Fi-Ne does construct theories but they are theories that one knows the truth of intuitively. And they might relate, actually. I think it might be the sort of thing some INFPs can be very interested in talking about.


    i was going to ask: perhaps you know some articles or other resources about one’s shadow (or animus/anima) self and the way it relates to one’s actual type? (there was something else too, but i can’t seem to remember – trying to finish a fourteen0-page translation which i am doing, as usual, at the last moment)
    I really liked this page when I was thinking about the shadows: http://www.erictb.info/archetypes.html. He also has an account here on the forums (as ‘Eric B’). Bit of a read but worth it, I think, when you have the time!

    And you might have finished the translation by now, or you might not have, but good luck either way!
    3 INTP

  5. #15
    Member Bamboozle's Avatar
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    it’s interesting that you mentioned this. i seem to have done to a similar extreme in my teens, but it was in the opposite direction […]
    (it sounds insane and i suppose it is, but this is how i explained everything to myself at the time. the drive to deny my own logical side had to be that strong)
    That was interesting and not that insane at all :P. I think it just exhibits that Fi quality that I talked about in the previous post—that search to explain the world in a way that is true and logical, intuitively.

    there were personal reasons – my parents had tried to fashion a child prodigy out of me, though i was far from being one, and i was revolted by anything that reminded me of that. […] this became obvious as soon as i developed the first “down” phase - i suddenly realized that a barrier had appeared in several areas where i used to be very sensitive, and i felt different, harder, more unresponsive. after that, it felt as if some valves were being shut down inside me, one after another.
    You sound like you’ve had it quite hard in life. I’m sorry to hear it…!


    i had an odd response to the summary on that page. it felt almost as if i were reading – well, about myself, which gave me something akin to a shudder (not in the negative sense). i never quite realized how fundamental this has been to me until now. i have always felt that a person is unique and should be valued for just that, for being who they are, but i never really gave much thought to that. it seemed just that obvious. (perhaps this is similar to what you said about sensory types, who do not realize they are following a routine precisely because this is so natural to them).
    I quite like that about thinking about the functions—the way it reminds you that what you take for granted is not necessarily what everyone else takes for granted. It’s both interesting and a helpful thing to remember, I find.

    after this, i suppose INFP might well be the only type that does fit me.
    Neat! I hope you find it a helpful bit of information about yourself.


    ETA: Oh, and I just realised I never remarked upon your signature. Douglas Adams! I love his stuff. Ne right there, I think. A truckload of it.
    3 INTP

  6. #16
    curiouser and curiouser bluestripes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    Sorry for the slow reply! I’ve been pretty busy, too, lately.
    it's absolutely fine.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    I’m sorry to hear about your depression and how much it dampens your sense of the world. All I can say from here, I suppose, is take care of yourself!
    thanks a lot. i have it much better than many of those who share the same issue. i can function more or less tolerably, in that i can get out of bed in the morning, handle various everyday matters, in whatever half-hearted way that is usual for me, continue to work. (at least until i can still concentrate - there certainly are moments when i stare at the open MsWord page and my mind feels just as blank, so i may spend an hour or two on a single sentence). i guess it is the “more or less” that is the most frustrating, the fact that one is “functioning” but not quite “living”. it feels as if there is half a short step left till i become whole, but it is more difficult to make than that whole long way from severely depressed to where i am at the moment.

    as odd as it sounds, though, i think this has taught me to appreciate my surroundings more. there are times when i find myself focussing on something really simple, such as the gleam on the utensils while i am washing them or the particular way the air smells when it is winter and the snow starts thawing, and thinking how much value there is in this, and in the “ordinary” emotions that come with it, the ones that are likely to be taken for granted, i guess. just being able experience it in the full sense of those words.

    even waking up early in the morning and having this great sinking/tickling/titillating feeling, like butterflies fluttering inside or sunlight dancing when one directs it with a small mirror (excitement?) – this in itself can be worth a lot. i don’t think i ever understood it as well as i do now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    I don’t think this precludes you from being an N. And, anyway, if you’re an INFP, Ne would be your style of N. I think Ni is superior to Ne in thinking up new meanings. Ne cobbles different things together and it’s good at extrapolating ideas from others but it’s really Ni that sees multiple meanings at the same time (which is what irony, sarcasm, metaphors, etc work with).
    this makes it much more understandable. usually it is sensing types who are stereotyped as being literal-minded, blunt and incapable of grasping hidden meanings; many of them may well be, but one could be this to a differing degree, i guess, and these sensing types are simply on the extreme end of the continuum.

    and judging by the descriptions of Ni and Ne, it would definitely seem that i use Ne.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    I really liked this page when I was thinking about the shadows: http://www.erictb.info/archetypes.html. He also has an account here on the forums (as ‘Eric B’). Bit of a read but worth it, I think, when you have the time!
    thanks so much! what i found especially interesting is the notion that one might exhibit shadow traits when faced with a crisis situation and/or under extreme stress. as far as i can tell from my observations of myself and others, as well as my experiments with character development (what behavior or feelings instinctively seem “natural” for a specific individual in specific circumstances), there seems to be a certain truth to that. it’s interesting to see how this could be explained in theoretical terms.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    And you might have finished the translation by now, or you might not have, but good luck either way!
    thanks! i finished it the day before yesterday (edited the final section whose format was unsatisfactory and sent it once more to the client).

    (for now, two more assignments to do – a longer and more convoluted translation on economics that is, thankfully, not that urgent, and some homework on economics for a colleague’s friend)

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    You sound like you’ve had it quite hard in life. I’m sorry to hear it…!
    it was not nearly as bad as it sounds. realistically, the most difficult part were being isolated (which is not exclusive to children whose parents have special aspirations - some go to regular school and their parents have no specific plans for them, but still try to choose their friends, severely restrict their extracurricular activities etc.) and overreacting and being unable to “turn down” or “switch off” my responses no matter how much i wanted to. that, and having migraines for several months when i was fourteen (“circlet” or “helmet” type, occasionally so intense that i seemed to go into some dimmed state of consciousness) and hitting a brick wall when i attempted to ask my parents for help. it was around then that i realized they were not perfect and i had to think for myself or i might well develop some serious problems.

    to a large extent, it was myself who was at fault. usually, when people find themselves in this situation, they move out as soon as they turn sixteen or eighteen and can legally make their own decisions. i did not. one reason was the acquired powerlessness, which made me feel that anything i might do would not work out; as if anyone would have brought me back by force, which was nonsense and i knew this, rationally, but it didn’t help. another reason, and the most important one, was that i chose to remain passive and wait for the problem to magically resolve itself, despite being aware that this would never happen. and i tried to avoid conflict to the extent where i found it much easier to take action one would consider rather risky (such as travelling to a foreign country to visit a person i barely knew) than to face another conversation with my parents, which would consist of illogical accusations i would be unable to argue with, because i would immediately break down, and would end in my feeling crushed, yet again. so if someone contributed to the situation becoming as unpleasant as possible, it was myself.

    but then, if i were given the chance to turn time backwards and live through my childhood and teen years once more, i think would have done everything exactly the same way, including some of the worst blunders i have made. if i had chosen to behave differently, i wouldn’t have become who i am now. and whatever faults i might have, i am not fond of the idea.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    ETA: Oh, and I just realised I never remarked upon your signature. Douglas Adams! I love his stuff. Ne right there, I think. A truckload of it.
    this might well be why he appeals to me.
    "i love deadlines. i like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (c) douglas adams

    "there are only two ways to live your life. one is as though nothing is a miracle. the other is as though everything is a miracle." (c) albert einstein

    "if only i could grow with my eyes - like these leaves - into the depth" (c) sergei esenin

    "god is in the details" (c) proverb

  7. #17
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    i have it much better than many of those who share the same issue. i can function more or less tolerably, in that i can get out of bed in the morning, handle various everyday matters, in whatever half-hearted way that is usual for me, continue to work. (at least until i can still concentrate - there certainly are moments when i stare at the open MsWord page and my mind feels just as blank, so i may spend an hour or two on a single sentence). i guess it is the “more or less” that is the most frustrating, the fact that one is “functioning” but not quite “living”. it feels as if there is half a short step left till i become whole,
    I don't suppose you've tried talking to someone about it? I know it doesn't work for everyone, of course, but I've heard good things, too. I guess it just depends!

    but it is more difficult to make than that whole long way from severely depressed to where i am at the moment.

    as odd as it sounds, though, i think this has taught me to appreciate my surroundings more. […] this in itself can be worth a lot. i don’t think i ever understood it as well as i do now.
    Well, that's definitely something .

    this makes it much more understandable. usually it is sensing types who are stereotyped as being literal-minded, blunt and incapable of grasping hidden meanings; many of them may well be, but one could be this to a differing degree, i guess, and these sensing types are simply on the extreme end of the continuum.

    and judging by the descriptions of Ni and Ne, it would definitely seem that i use Ne.
    Yeah, the stereotypes can be very unhelpful! They can be nice, general starting points but they can prove to be a bit of a hindrance to understanding, too.

    thanks so much! what i found especially interesting is the notion that one might exhibit shadow traits when faced with a crisis situation and/or under extreme stress. as far as i can tell from my observations of myself and others, as well as my experiments with character development (what behavior or feelings instinctively seem “natural” for a specific individual in specific circumstances), there seems to be a certain truth to that. it’s interesting to see how this could be explained in theoretical terms.
    I think it helps a lot in understanding people and the different types to know about the shadows. It really fleshes out the theory. Furthermore, it creates even more space for variations between people even if they are of the same type. That's pretty important, I think!

    (for now, two more assignments to do – a longer and more convoluted translation on economics that is, thankfully, not that urgent, and some homework on economics for a colleague’s friend)
    Haha, busy, busy!

    hitting a brick wall when i attempted to ask my parents for help. it was around then that i realized they were not perfect and i had to think for myself
    Ouch about all of it but about this bit particularly…! It's always deeply disappointing when people you thought would be there for you just aren't up to it in the way you'd hoped.

    so if someone contributed to the situation becoming as unpleasant as possible, it was myself.
    I hear you but don't be too hard on yourself anyway! I think it's far too easy to get trapped in a bad situation—for the reasons you stated…that sense of powerlessness and self-doubt that can build up over time. I don't know that other people would have necessarily moved out as quickly as you think they would have. And it's not always easy to compare situations, either!

    if i had chosen to behave differently, i wouldn’t have become who i am now. and whatever faults i might have, i am not fond of the idea.
    I wouldn't be fond of the idea either. And as you said about your depression, I think it makes you appreciate different things around you.


    this might well be why he appeals to me.
    3 INTP

  8. #18
    curiouser and curiouser bluestripes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    I don't suppose you've tried talking to someone about it? I know it doesn't work for everyone, of course, but I've heard good things, too. I guess it just depends!
    i have, and i agree, it helps – for all i know, it could make the difference between “being isolated and desperate and seeing no sense in continuing” and “finding it difficult, but meaningful and being intent on dealing with it”. i have several close friends on whom i can depend, though i’m especially grateful to one of them (we met when we were both studying psychology, she went on to become a practicing psychotherapist while i transferred to the philology program). she has a gift with this, i think. she listens and somehow makes it clear, without saying much, that she will understand whatever i may tell her (or will try to) and is not going to judge me for it. there is a feeling of silent community, almost like a melting of boundaries between us (i don’t know how to describe it otherwise) which has always made me feel better afterwards.

    (it might be that, being good at this, i appreciate the same quality in other people, particularly when it is even stronger in them)

    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
    I hear you but don't be too hard on yourself anyway! I think it's far too easy to get trapped in a bad situation—for the reasons you stated…that sense of powerlessness and self-doubt that can build up over time. I don't know that other people would have necessarily moved out as quickly as you think they would have. And it's not always easy to compare situations, either!
    this is true, too. i guess it goes to show how unique we are – we can respond to the same situation in vastly different ways, and you are right, it isn’t always sensible to compare. (though it is tempting because one often feels like thinking – there, somebody would have done better if they were me, and forgetting that this is the whole point, that one is not that “somebody” to start with).
    "i love deadlines. i like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (c) douglas adams

    "there are only two ways to live your life. one is as though nothing is a miracle. the other is as though everything is a miracle." (c) albert einstein

    "if only i could grow with my eyes - like these leaves - into the depth" (c) sergei esenin

    "god is in the details" (c) proverb

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