What type am, October 2011 version

[BAJ]

It seems of late, my NF license has been revoked (or suspended) by certain members with high authority in such matters.

It seems to me that Ti, Fi, Ni, and Si all seem to be very popular with me. It always bugged me that Fi and Ti are at opposite ends, so the last thing an INTP would use is Fi and vice versus. Yet, it seems to me Fi and Ti are flipping around in my mind in tandem fluctuations.

Also, when I first took the test, I took it blind (RESULTS IN SIGNATURE). I didn't know what the MBTI was beyond being fun, though all the questions were arguable.

Now my testing is compromised by knowing what all the questions designate.

I try to find tests with exotic questions, but it doesn't work because I still know what they mean. I look for descriptions of people's childhoods in books or forums, seeking more resonance of who I am. Sometimes I find reflection me, and other times I find antithesis.

I believe IN and P are fairly clear. Probably the majority of what I think about is proprietary, but it generally has to do with the potentiality of fish. Will this be sold now, or culled? If not now, the to whom and when? Thus, I see a tiny, wee fish, and I speculate about whole potential and future of that fish.

Mostly what I do all day is (for job) is sort fish. Pretty ones with lots of potential go to one place, uglier ones go to a different place. So I look at fish that is 2 inches, and think, "Wow! This will become one of our best breeding fish four years from now, and it will will go great to breed with Male 1, 43 and 25." Or I think, "That's the fish John was looking for! He had a fish that looked like that and it died. This will be perfect for him." I sort about 500,000 fish per year, sometimes we sort the same fish multiple times before they are sold.

If I'm not thinking about things like that, then I'm doing something like planning what to say in a post here, or wonder exactly what "they" are really thinking and feeling about me...if at all. Or I'm wondering who is thinking about me and why, and how can I write them about something.

Basically, outside of the potentiality of fish, I'm generally think about past and future written communications...primarily written, but sometimes spoken conversations. I think about repair relationship, if I can. Or I think about what it means, specifically and in general.

And when I'm not thinking about that, I'm thinking about things like...how streams, dripping water, currents and eddies represent the flow of time. Or how butterflies represent rebirth into something more beautiful. Black fish represent luck, and red fish are the fire element in the midst of the waters. Or how emptiness is an essential component of systems and the mind. Nothing is ever simply "the thing".

 

[MacGuffin]

INFP

 

[Silveresque]

INFP and INTP are often hard to tell apart. I'd say I'm only about 70% sure about my mbti type right now. Anyways, I think it's best not to rely too much on cognitive functions, especially since (long story made short) a) Fi and Ti can look very similar, and b) Ti-Fe can mimic Fi, and Fi-Te can mimic Ti. When T/F is really close, it can become almost impossible to discern whether you're a Fi user or a Ti user.

Anyways, think about which mode you feel most comfortable inhabiting. Which type feels more natural to you?

Aside from that...I don't know. You could always try looking at INFP vs. INTP threads to see which seems like the better fit.

Or you could wait for [MENTION=13402]Saturned[/MENTION] to come and convert welcome you to INFPland with bribes platters of cookies, jello and/or pudding.

 

[Anew Leaf]

You missed the word "I" in the title and aren't needing to breathe in a paper bag because of it.

Verdict: INFP.

 

[BAJ]

You missed the word "I" in the title and aren't needing to breathe in a paper bag because of it.

Verdict: INFP.

Crying tears of joy. Honestly, I did not realize I screwed up the title until you said something.

I thought you and shortsweet banished me to ISTPdom, which was sort of the reason for this thread.

I was reflecting on this while driving to the store. (I don't remember much about it except that I left home...after tying my seat belt with string to avoid getting a ticket for not buckling...and then I arrived) I was reflecting that growing up, my lack of awareness about my environment was somewhat legendary.

One week, I locked my keys in my car five times.

I failed the driving portion of my driver's license exam four times, finally getting it the fifth time.

I've ran into things, and knocked myself unconscious.

At about age 29 I went to my friend's wedding, and was driving someone home from the bachelor party (where I didn't drink) and I ran a red light. I didn't even see there was a light. The guy was like, "Dude, that was a red light."

I said, "Oh, don't worry, it happens all the time."

He said, "Maybe you should let me drive. I think I'd drive better being drunk."

Also, going to the grocery store, I was walking around on ponds like "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" in the Japanese Garden where I used to work...except in the future, and I had a conversation with the guy currently doing it (whom I've never met). Someone needs to show him how to prune bonsai and garden trees, so I keep imagining all the conversations I going to have about it. (And of course, when he sees me walking on the water, I'm sure there will be very little argument about me showing him.)

 

[Silveresque]

What qualities or aspects about yourself would make you think you're a T type versus an F type? Maybe try listing and explaining your T/F preferences.

 

[BAJ]

What qualities or aspects about yourself would make you think you're a T type versus an F type? Maybe try listing and explaining your T/F preferences.

Since I tested so close to F/T in the beginning, I read both. What the counseling office passed out was "Please Understand Me." Most people would say that I was T, but I saw certain aspects of the F description that I thought were "more like me."

What it boils down to is that I realized what my motivations were. Making reports, art or papers is focused on the person receiving it or the people benefiting from it, and imagining their favor, approval, positive feedback or acclaim. I'm more aware of it now, and it's not likely to effective for manipulating me, I operate based on receiving uncontrived approval.

But then I worry if contact is broken, or I don't get positive feedback. Do the still like me? Are they secretly mad at me? Do they disapprove of me? What do they really think of me? Are they looking to replace me?

In the past, such questions drove me literally insane...when coupled with my internal deficits and moral inadequacies. I would have depressions.

Do I meet lots of T characteristics? I think I do. But these are what was expected of me. "If you don't stop crying, I'm going to hit you", was a common phrase. So you learn to shove those emotions.

Instead of, "Wow that's great drawing. You are a great artist", I get: "Stick that tongue back in your mouth." (I would stick my tongue out making something.)

Of course, I idealized Spock, and wanted to be like him. Yes, in high school I read science fiction, which is typically NT, I also read literature like James Joyce's "a portrait of the artist as a young man", "Leaves of grass", and Thoreau.

As for T/F in MBTI books, it's difficult to say because I believe my natural self was repressed, not allowing me to become my true self. I believe I played the role of T hoping to win crumbs of approval from those in authority, from the father. It never came, leaving a deficit that could never be repaid, and hypersensitivity.

Then in my senior year of high school, I had my first major breakdown. I was in an unrequited love with this girl. Also, I saw the movie "Dead poets society". These features led to the idea that I'd kill myself on the winter solstice. After being hospitalized over the whole Christmas break (against my father's will), I changed my high school schedule and took art.

I was still salutatorian of my high school.

Then in college, I took biology. This is quite "NT" or at least "T." Yet, why did I take it? When I was in the boy scouts (age 14 maybe), my instructor for "environmental studies" complimented a paper I did. You go sit in the woods and make observations (like Thoreau), and then make a report. So I made observations, and described them. I scrawled it out quickly. However, he said it was one of the best he'd seen, and that I should consider a career in science.

He was not the only one to give me positive feedback. There were others.

Anyway, I have to go to work now. The quest continues...

 

[Asterion]

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...

 

[BAJ]

For me, it is important to examine the time before the MBTI, because it is all pre-model. Once I have the model, start trying to examine myself according to the model about myself, and the model about myself translates into part of my response to the world. Afterwards is important too, but pre-model is typically the most interesting...what I believe is the most true.

So at the end of my freshman year, in the Spring of 1990, I was seeking counseling again. He told me that if I didn't stop cutting myself, he'd have to hospitalize me. Also, he told me he thought my art was homo-erotic. But in the course of getting counseling, they administered the MBTI.

This was a sort of watershed because it gave me a way to look at my uniqueness without abnormality. Indeed, it qualified my attributes as "special and rare". The MMPI tries to force you into disorders found in the manual of psychiatric disorders, but the MBTI doesn't look for disorder, so it made me very happy.

 

[MacGuffin]

Even more INFP.

 

[wolfy]

I get more of an infp feel from your style.