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  1. #1
    Senior Member Cloud of Thunder's Avatar
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    Question So What Is My Type? (Enneagram Edition)

    For some reason, there is no "What Type Am I?" subforum within the Enneagram forum, so this will have to do.

    Anyway, I've been posting here for a while now but I haven't formally introduced myself. I am a 24-year old young man who (unfortunately) is an unhealthy INFJ. I've been an emotional mess for years, but only in secret. If you met me in real life, you'd probably admire me for my equanimity and my sense of industriousness.

    Growing up, I have never been very comfortable around people but lately it seems that I'm only growing more estranged from them. Part of it is because people really don't make sense; they're messy, chaotic, and it seems that many of them have a tolerance of human frailty that I don't really have. In INFJ-speak, I am a perfectionist, in my work and in my personal life. I think my perfectionism is a factor in my isolation. I remember during my college years (especially my freshman year) how I felt so self-righteous and good for not going out and getting myself drunk and exposing myself to sexual situations (I'm still a virgin, for what it's worth). As much as I don't like to admit it, part of me still feels "cleaner" than the people who did that. But one thing they apparently have that I don't is that sense of facility with people and the ability to just say "Fuck it" and do what they want.

    But I wonder if that facility and that ability are worth me giving up my perfectionism. Is it worth me losing control of myself, even if it's temporary? I still cling to this sense of purity despite not being happy with my life, because I feel that if I give that up, then there's no point in me living. What would it all be for anyway? And all the seemingly well-intentioned suggestions for me to lighten up are hard for me to take because it would require me to accept messiness, which I loathe. I like simplicity and structure, and the fact that I don't really have it now frustrates me to no end.

    So anyway, after that rant, what type/wing/subtype do you all think I might be? I've typed as a 1, 4, and a 5 in the past (those are almost always the top 3).

  2. #2
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    A few questions:

    Why do you feel a need to be "pure"?

    What's so impure about getting drunk and having sex?

    In fact, what would "pure" be for you?

    Be honest.
    Hello

  3. #3
    Senior Member Cloud of Thunder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    A few questions:

    Why do you feel a need to be "pure"?

    What's so impure about getting drunk and having sex?

    In fact, what would "pure" be for you?

    Be honest.
    1. I feel the need because I feel like I'm surrounded by filth and stupid people. It's a way of distancing myself from the rabble.

    2. I think with activities like those, there's always a slippery slope. There's always the possibility that one can be addicted to things like that and I'm not willing to take that risk. What makes this especially inconvenient is that I get horny constantly throughout the day.

    3. Pure = good. If one spends too much time making an ass of himself/herself, then he or she runs the risk of not being good anymore. They are merely "complicated" and complicated equals messy, and as I've said in the OP, I don't like mess.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloud of Thunder View Post
    1. I feel the need because I feel like I'm surrounded by filth and stupid people. It's a way of distancing myself from the rabble.

    2. I think with activities like those, there's always a slippery slope. There's always the possibility that one can be addicted to things like that and I'm not willing to take that risk. What makes this especially inconvenient is that I get horny constantly throughout the day.

    3. Pure = good. If one spends too much time making an ass of himself/herself, then he or she runs the risk of not being good anymore. They are merely "complicated" and complicated equals messy, and as I've said in the OP, I don't like mess.
    I would say you seem like a 1. I don't know if isolation is typical of 1's, but your reason for it definitely sounds 1-ish to me. You distance yourself from other people because you want to preserve your purity and be good, which sounds like 1's basic desire. Perfectionism and self-righteousness also point to 1.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Cloud of Thunder's Avatar
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    If I'm a 1, I definitely relate to the 1 going to 4 under stress.

  6. #6
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    I don't know 4 well enough to rule it out, but you certainly sound most like a 1.

    Do people ever call you emotionless?
    How far does this perfectionism go?
    Do you have a strong sense of right and wrong? Of responsibility?
    5 3 9

  7. #7
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Well you're certainly inhibited, it's just a case of figuring out why.

    For a 5, the issue would simply be one of fear and competency - in other words, you would probably complain that you wouldn't "know" what to do in those situations, and consequently be afraid of entering into those situations because you might end up making a fool of yourself accidently. You'd probably end up feeling removed and separate from the whole thing, and thus not all that interested.

    For a 1, the issue is overcoming one's own rigid and self-imposed inhibitions that have been adopted in order to become a "good" person - in other words, entering into those situations would be perceived as somehow undermining to who you are.

    I guess 1 is the easy answer here, since it seems your problem is one of not wanting to partake in "bad" behaviour, rather than a real sense of fear or not "knowing" what to do.
    Hello

  8. #8
    Senior Member Idealatious's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    Well you're certainly inhibited, it's just a case of figuring out why.

    For a 5, the issue would simply be one of fear and competency - in other words, you would probably complain that you wouldn't "know" what to do in those situations, and consequently be afraid of entering into those situations because you might end up making a fool of yourself accidently. You'd probably end up feeling removed and separate from the whole thing, and thus not all that interested.

    For a 1, the issue is overcoming one's own rigid and self-imposed inhibitions that have been adopted in order to become a "good" person - in other words, entering into those situations would be perceived as somehow undermining to who you are.

    I guess 1 is the easy answer here, since it seems your problem is one of not wanting to partake in "bad" behaviour, rather than a real sense of fear or not "knowing" what to do.
    Hmm. Do you know what the main issue would be for a 4, for comparison? Even if his main type isn't a 4, it could be somewhere in his tritype...

    Also because I think I'm a 4 and I relate to some of what he's said in the first post. (Not in the second one though!)

  9. #9
    Intergalactic Badass mujigay's Avatar
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    This whole thing comes off as pretty 1-ish to me, albeit 1 in a kind of unhealthy way.

    I can see 4 somewhere in the tritype, but definitely not the dominant type.

    Perhaps a 1w9? This doesn't sound very 1w2.
    1w9 sx/sp
    A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.

    All that is gold does not glitter
    Not all those who wander are lost

  10. #10
    Senior Member Cloud of Thunder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King-Of-Despair View Post
    I don't know 4 well enough to rule it out, but you certainly sound most like a 1.

    Do people ever call you emotionless?
    How far does this perfectionism go?
    Do you have a strong sense of right and wrong? Of responsibility?
    1. No one has ever called me that, per se, but I definitely sense the difference between my demeanor and those of other people I know, like my family and my coworkers. They're more demonstrative and effusive than I am, and it often annoys me.

    2. For me, when I do something, it has to be just right. If I'm cleaning something, it must be spotless. If I'm calculating, it must come out exactly right. I'm a stickler for organization. Otherwise, I feel off-kilter.

    3. I consider myself pretty industrious, but sometimes it takes some time to get going. In other words, I procrastinate a lot. I do have a sense of right and wrong, and I'm often drawn to (and in some cases, repulsed by) ways in which good people do bad things and how bad people do good things. A great example of this would be the character Dexter Morgan from the TV series Dexter.

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