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Thread: halp plees.

  1. #1
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Default halp plees.



    i am having a very hard time typing a friend of mine. halp, plees? both enneagram and mbti appreciated, though i'm just trying to figure out mbti to start with, really.

    the only thing i know for certain, is that he is an extravert.

    so:

    he's in his early 20s, living on his own, works a low-level management job in sales that he dislikes but seems to do well at. he eventually wants to be a teacher. my first impression of him upon meeting him was that he talks a lot and has a lot of ideas, both of which have borne out to be true. he has a creative streak and seems to be a random-information-gatherer - knows lots of trivia. he says he used to be quieter but now is a conversation initiator. regardless, i can't see him as an introvert.

    he is fairly decisive, and has a strong sense of what he "must" do. he feels strongly about certain social conventions - he is very much the classic gentleman - very polite. i have talked to him about this and he believes in gender equality, but he does like the classic male/female roles and enjoys playing out the more dominant male role to a more submissive female counterpart. he's fairly sentimental and will hang onto things that are important to him, and loves photos. he definitely has a soft heart even though he likes to be masculine. he's that guy who would stop by the side of the road to help the wounded kitten, etc

    he is very responsible - will not just bail on things, generally runs 15-20 minutes early, fairly organized - though his room is usually just a little messy. he has a strong sense of duty to his family... a strong sense of duty in general, i think. but it's a very solid, independent thing, like he has strong boundaries for what he feels like he should do, so he will take care of others, but also has a strong sense of when/where he doesn't have to anymore. does that make sense? like he is responsible up to a certain point and will be very conscientious up to that point, but past that point he will not worry about it. he is quite independent, really. he absolutely hates the idea of not being self-sufficient. he also likes things to be up front - if there is any mystery, he wants it to be on his end - he really doesn't like not being in control, though he is not particularly aggressive. he's quite tenacious - will pursue things until he gets what he wants. he's tangential in speech but not easily blown from a course he's set to in action.

    he likes to travel and explore, and has a thing for proper grammar. my lack of capitalization bugs him he cracks a lot of jokes and is pretty sarcastic at times. he tends to reference obscure things and is highly pleased when others pick up on them. he also likes other cultures and classic cars. he's good with people - charismatic - though he's got less of a tolerance level for bad attitudes or idiocy than i do. he will be curt with people without remorse if they've lost his respect (contrast me, i almost always feel bad about being curt even if i really dislike someone). he's also pretty self-assertive and will whistle-blow if he feels things are unfair, but again is very up front about it, and not spiteful.


    ahhh i don't even know

    edit: maybe he is an ENFP also and that is why this is so confusing
    doubleedit: is it even possible for an ENFP to usually run 15-20 minutes early?

  2. #2
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    ESxJ?

  3. #3
    Tier 1 Member LunaLuminosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    doubleedit: is it even possible for an ENFP to usually run 15-20 minutes early?
    It is surely possible, but from the description overall I'm getting a strong sense of Jness. So I'd go with ExxJ so far.

  4. #4
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Could be either ESTJ or ISTJ, I'd say.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I vote ISTJ.

  6. #6
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    I vote ISTJ.
    He actually sounds an awful lot like my brother, and my bro is probably an ISTJ... (both from my observation, and when I created a thread like this on the forum about him!)

    My bro wouldn't necessarily come across as an introvert; he is great at networking (freelance journalist) and can be very charming and outgoing. However, he doesn't have many people he would really call friends. Most of his friendships are based pretty much purely on shared interests, I think. He's quite happy doing a lot of stuff on his own - as I am to a certain extent but I would miss having people around sooner than he would, I think.

    He doesn't have a family of his own but is quite devoted to me and my parents. And he loves tradition, he does NOT believe in change for the sake of change.

    I've also met at least one (almost certain) ESTJ who I thought was an introvert because he described himself as not having many friends...but in terms of functions/function order and interaction style, I realised he is so ESTJ. So I think ESTJs can come across kind of introverted, and ISTJs kind of extroverted, depending on circumstances.

    I also think "classic gentleman" sounds exceedingly ISTJ.

    Your post just REALLY reminded of my bro, hope that seems relevant!
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    The ISTJ I know best goes out constantly, but never really talks intimately to anyone. It's social obligations more than any indicator of friendship or intimacy, which there is a problem with.

  8. #8
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    The ISTJ I know best goes out constantly, but never really talks intimately to anyone. It's social obligations more than any indicator of friendship or intimacy, which there is a problem with.
    Exactly. And I didn't get the sense from the OP that there was a lot of close emotional connection going on (even for a guy, of any type!)
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  9. #9
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    ESxJ?
    Quote Originally Posted by LunaLuminosity View Post
    It is surely possible, but from the description overall I'm getting a strong sense of Jness. So I'd go with ExxJ so far.
    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Could be either ESTJ or ISTJ, I'd say.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    I vote ISTJ.
    thank you guys!! i've recently been thinking along TJ lines too. it's funny because he's "softer" than i would expect your average TJ male to be, but apparently he's liked me (as in, like-like) ever since he's known me, so i figure that puts a bit of a different spin on things.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    He actually sounds an awful lot like my brother, and my bro is probably an ISTJ... (both from my observation, and when I created a thread like this on the forum about him!)

    My bro wouldn't necessarily come across as an introvert; he is great at networking (freelance journalist) and can be very charming and outgoing. However, he doesn't have many people he would really call friends. Most of his friendships are based pretty much purely on shared interests, I think. He's quite happy doing a lot of stuff on his own - as I am to a certain extent but I would miss having people around sooner than he would, I think.

    He doesn't have a family of his own but is quite devoted to me and my parents. And he loves tradition, he does NOT believe in change for the sake of change.

    I've also met at least one (almost certain) ESTJ who I thought was an introvert because he described himself as not having many friends...but in terms of functions/function order and interaction style, I realised he is so ESTJ. So I think ESTJs can come across kind of introverted, and ISTJs kind of extroverted, depending on circumstances.

    I also think "classic gentleman" sounds exceedingly ISTJ.

    Your post just REALLY reminded of my bro, hope that seems relevant!
    thank you silk, that's really interesting!! i relate a lot with the bold, in regards to him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    The ISTJ I know best goes out constantly, but never really talks intimately to anyone. It's social obligations more than any indicator of friendship or intimacy, which there is a problem with.
    this is good to know!

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Exactly. And I didn't get the sense from the OP that there was a lot of close emotional connection going on (even for a guy, of any type!)
    hah wellll i may have been omitting the minor fact that he's my SO now - i was trying to be unbiased.

    it's funny because he says to me that he has trouble talking about his feelings - and i suppose upon reflection, he doesn't talk about emotion much, but he's very affectionate with me.

  10. #10
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    If he's an ISTJ and you're interested in more, might take some action on your or other people's parts to get him motivated to ask you out. The ex-husband is an ISTJ. How we got together was that others noticed the spark between us and pushed us together. We had a truly awkward and uncomfortable talk and started dating (two TJs...haha...need I say more?). Hopefully as an NF, you're going to be a bit more smooth about it.

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