My MBTI type has been on my mind for at least a month, trying to figure out my type and check my acts/thoughts to compare them to some function but haven't figured out the definitive type (I reach a ''conclusion'' but I may self doubt it or even create more questions about it as I see myself using a ''shadow function'' of that type I thought I was and get pissed).
I know I could have come here earlier but I always had this thing that I could figure it out by myself (and I take pleasure figuring things out by myself and a nice ego boost) wich led me to take so much time to actually post. My mind was constantly in any free mind wander time or even when in some place that's boring me imagining how this post would be built and the possible reactions and the exploration of the functions (sometimes questions that I never consciously thought before came to my head when exploring this image in my mind).
I can say I have only two friends (one INTP and the other a ISTJ, they both self-typed themselves when I told them about it and they relate to them especially the INTP one) and I don't look for more and don't feel like I need more than those.
I play video games a lot and this comes since an early age (I can immerse on them and focus on them intensively) read articles about technology and sometimes science.
Since young age teachers and relatives keep saying I'm an underachiever and should explore my capability instead of sitting in from of the computer the whole day. I feel upset or slightly angry inside when I fail to figure something out or understand it, even greater if a friend of mine managed it and when I feel I am talking to someone smarter than me or at least better than me in that area but after i swallow my ego I may want to learn more with him.
I can show confidence when I have done the homework or intuitively know something but I stay quiet when I don't know but people may still get the idea I actually know what's going on.
One thing that backs me down a little is that sense I have that I know how X works or what X is but can't explain why or sometimes never seen it wich bothers me sometimes. I don't like crowded areas and in school I may be the first one going for the spot on the back of the classroom. I am self-reflective and I can sometimes be prone to beat myself for not reaching my expectations on something or how stupid I was in Y event and should have done better (mostly about social situations where I may get a little spotlight wich I am not comfortable). When I learn something or think about something I imagine how it's going to be and their possible reactions to it). I tend to not like most people and I can be somewaht socially awkward or unskilled. Just today I was walking home and heard what I think it was a hammer falling down and started having visions of it falling and hurting me or even worse (this happens also in situations like some huge industrial vehicle crossing me or a place where I see something can be harmful). I am not very emotional and most time I ''smile'' is probably fake/part of a mask or just a smirk. In pictures I always look bad with a serious analyzing look or a emotionless look as my ISTJ friends says I am.
When I am driven by something I won't leave it until it's cracked.
I will post my cognitive test results later today but feel free to discuss.