In my view, what you point out is a severe limitation in the MBTI perspective on personality that's built into the system. There are no middle grounds for any of the eight categories.
You wrote, "I want control, but I won't just grasp control unless someone else allows me or says they don't want it." I've been reading up on FIRO-B, and that statement belongs with the Control category. But that could be Supine or Phlegmatic Control, it's hard for me to say. Wikipedia says, "The Phlegmatic also is peaceful at heart, and is one reason the Phlegmatic had held the place in the older four temperament model the Supine holds in the five temperament model. The difference is that the Supine is more "needy" for acceptance (or control) from people, yet less able to initiate and express this need to them than the Phlegmatic. Supines are often frustrated because they expect people to know they want interaction, while the Phlegmatic expresses a moderate need, and wants only the same moderate amount in return." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Temperaments The same page also says the Supine has low self-esteem.
As for your MBTI, it's hard to tell your type with such a broken system as that. There is the Keirsey FourTypes Sorter, this one helps determine the second letter more efficiently than Keirsey's temperament sorter. (That's not quite what it does, but it is more of a quick and easy test.) It costs 45 cents at http://career-lifeskills.com/type-te...he-11-753.html
For example, question 1 says,
I'd rather study
a. arts & crafts
b. literature & humanities
c. business & financing
d. science & engineering
"I absorb energy like a sponge everywhere I go. It allows me to see the world and my purpose in it." Zak Bagans, Ghost Adventures (INFJ)