User Tag List

Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: 4w5 or 5w4?

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    350

    Default 4w5 or 5w4?

    I know, it's been done before but it's starting to drive me nuts. I've always thought I was 4w5 because I always resonated with the 4-description, and felt I best understood the 4-dilemma, but recently I'm beginning to think I'm a 5w4. In part, because I've recently begun to see that what I thought was my need to be unique may actually be a need to find and have something of my own. When someone else threatens that, by becoming like me, or taking an interest in my own interests, there's a fear that I will be superseded by that person. Also, I feel great resentment at not being able to express my feelings when everyone else has no reservations, and feel entitled to pour them out, usually at me.

    The only way I can best decide is by seeing myself in other people/characters. So, if you can type these two characters, I would really appreciate it: George, A Single Man (Colin Firth) and Stephen Dedalus, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man:


  2. #2
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,280

    Default

    You sound a lot like me. I just changed my type yesterday from 4w5 so/sp to 5w4 sx/sp. I can definitely relate to not being able to express my feelings, and I think I know what you mean when you say that your need to be unique may actually be the need to have something unique to you. While I want to have a unique identity, I tend to base that identity on something I'm good at - I'm the language girl, learning German, Spanish, French, and Japanese. I'm not a competitive person, but I think my uniqueness would feel threatened if someone else came around who was my age and knew as many or more languages, silly as it sounds. I think this could actually be related to the 5's desire for competence, to have something they can do really well.

    Anyways, have you looked at my "what's my type" thread? I think it might help you figure out your type as well.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    350

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    You sound a lot like me. I just changed my type yesterday from 4w5 so/sp to 5w4 sx/sp. I can definitely relate to not being able to express my feelings, and I think I know what you mean when you say that your need to be unique may actually be the need to have something unique to you. While I want to have a unique identity, I tend to base that identity on something I'm good at - I'm the language girl, learning German, Spanish, French, and Japanese. I'm not a competitive person, but I think my uniqueness would feel threatened if someone else came around who was my age and knew as many or more languages, silly as it sounds. I think this could actually be related to the 5's desire for competence, to have something they can do really well.

    Anyways, have you looked at my "what's my type" thread? I think it might help you figure out your type as well.
    Yeah, I agree, thanks for that. It's not silly at all what you say because I can totally relate. I don't really want anyone to outdo me in my special area, in part, because my sense of competency is so fragile. Outside, I think I appear more Five, but internally I always could relate to the Four attitude more. Recently it seems my type has been changing to Five. The idea of the Four's ideal self-image vs. real self has been with me for a long time. In order to compensate for my real self, I focus developing into other people/characters. And I have a very push-pull tendency with things. That I miss it when I don't have it, and once I get it, I think I need something else. It's all about not being content with what I have. But, recently I've been more defensive, wanting people to just leave me alone because I cannot take their demands, especially emotionally. In the past, I think I could be with people in times of distress, but my needs have been neglected that I just don't want (and can't) deal with it any longer. And because of this, I've shut myself off from everything. Feels like there's a wall between myself and the outside world. On the other hand, when I am stressed out, I sometimes cling to people out of fear, but I don't really do things for them like an unhealthy Two would. I am always aware that I could be too much of a burden on them. I need constant reassurance that I'm not. I could relate to the Five going to Seven more. I get extremely scattered, wound up, and cannot focus on anything before jumping to the next thing. I'm not a dramatic person at all; in fact, I resent people who overdo their emotions/image (Lady Gaga comes to mind) in the name of being different, like some Fours do. I'm not at all concerned with scientific knowledge itself, but the deeper aspects of human experience. I enjoy the Enneagram, but I can't stop my mind from gathering information about people's behavior, connecting it to a tentative type, and then continually re-evaluating it. It's maddening. But I think I do it more to find out what my type (figuring it out (head space) or need for stable identity (image space)?) is rather than just to know. I'm sp-instinctual first, I think.

    Not to be too superficial, but would a Five ever say their favorite movies are the ones that made them cry?

    If you type the characters above, though, that's how I appear outwardly, which is an easier way of figuring it out than reading the above.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Vizzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    229

    Default

    I'm a 5w4. I've concluded that my desire to be competent (as opposed to invisible and a failure) overrides the value I place on being unique. I have already accepted that I'm different from others and am my own authentic person. Looking back on the times I went through depression, they all had to do with a lack of confidence in my abilities/skills, not being good enough, being overlooked for someone else, etc.
    Similar to what RevlisZero said about her uniqueness being threatened, my sense of self is threatened when I hear of people (especially my age or younger) achieving more than I have, or are more successful and popular. It's a hidden but very deep force...often making me feel ashamed and selfish when I'm not happy for others.
    So I guess that's one thing you can do - look at your deepest desire...

    (By the way, I also despise pretentiousness/inauthenticity and am extremely skeptical of what I see on the news and media in general.)

    Not to be too superficial, but would a Five ever say their favorite movies are the ones that made them cry?
    Hmm...why wouldn't a 5 say that? Personally, I'd say my favourite movies are the ones that make me nostalgic or make me think. But I'm not afraid to get into a long conversation about what movies make me cry and the triggers that get me welling up.
    5w4
    Reserved RCUEI

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    350

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Vizzy View Post
    I'm a 5w4. I've concluded that my desire to be competent (as opposed to invisible and a failure) overrides the value I place on being unique. I have already accepted that I'm different from others and am my own authentic person. Looking back on the times I went through depression, they all had to do with a lack of confidence in my abilities/skills, not being good enough, being overlooked for someone else, etc.
    Similar to what RevlisZero said about her uniqueness being threatened, my sense of self is threatened when I hear of people (especially my age or younger) achieving more than I have, or are more successful and popular. It's a hidden but very deep force...often making me feel ashamed and selfish when I'm not happy for others.
    So I guess that's one thing you can do - look at your deepest desire...

    (By the way, I also despise pretentiousness/inauthenticity and am extremely skeptical of what I see on the news and media in general.)


    Hmm...why wouldn't a 5 say that? Personally, I'd say my favourite movies are the ones that make me nostalgic or make me think. But I'm not afraid to get into a long conversation about what movies make me cry and the triggers that get me welling up.
    Yeah, I think I may be a 5w4 w/ an extremely heavy 4-wing, which is probably why I can relate to both types equally well. I definitely live more in my head than inhabiting my emotional states. Not that I don't get feelings of complete hopelessness from time to time. I read on Riso-Hudson's site that 5's are more likely to have issues with inner emptiness and meaninglessness than 4's. Agree completely. Also, whether it's an accurate way of typing, I am more drawn to 5-artists than 4's, such as Eliot, Joyce, Rilke, and Van Gogh, Pollock. I'm more interested in the ideas of a work than the emotional impact, but it's not far away.

    Do you have any guesses for the two characters above after watching the videos? Dedalus is always typed, like Joyce, as a 5w4, but what about Firth's character?

Similar Threads

  1. [Enne] 4w5 or 5w4?
    By BlakeUndefined in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-07-2014, 05:52 AM
  2. 4w5 or 5w4?
    By BlakeUndefined in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-30-2014, 12:51 PM
  3. Enneagram 4w5 or 5w4?
    By Sniffles in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 04-01-2014, 10:17 PM
  4. 4w5 or 5w4?
    By SoftRains in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 05-23-2012, 05:22 PM
  5. 4w5 or 5w4
    By chickpea in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-20-2011, 03:58 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO