Help me... please!

[Shade]

Hi there. I am a recent convert to the Myers-Briggs personality assessment, and am a total amateur as far as how the test results are reached and really about psychology at large. I have taken at least eight different tests to determine my type, and have every time gotten INTP. However I find myself doubting the validity of this result based on the fact that I have what I would consider Feeling tendencies and it’s hard for me to judge which has the stronger pull in my psyche. At this point I also think that my awareness of the MBTI test and types are influencing my answers and that I’m starting to second, third-guess myself and am no longer constructively testing. Therefore I have joined the board in an attempt to receive some external feedback on what you think my type might be. I would really like to know what kind of personality I have. Although it would be flattering to me to be an INTP, and I like the idea of it, it’s more important to me that I know the truth and be able to accurately determine what my strengths and weaknesses are as an individual than pad my ego with false information.
Of the IN part of my personality, I really have little doubt that this is accurate- I am highly introverted and intuitive both. At this point in my life I don’t have anybody that I really trust, and no people that I associate with outside of my immediate family, a self-imposed exile that’s been in effect for about two years. It’s not impossible for me to have friends, and although I am uncomfortable and drained in social situations, it’s not because I’m cripplingly insecure or worried about what they think (that doesn’t come unless I get really close to someone). I just find 99% of human interaction really monotonous and boring, and would really rather not. My mind is just a much more interesting, vivid place for me to be at all times, and I don’t mean that in an ‘I’m so smart, so much better’ kind of way. I’m just so unswervingly selfish that I can’t hold even a five-second conversation with someone unless it concerns something I’m interested in. It’s not that I hate you or don’t want you to be successful or think you suck. I’m just not interested in personally authoring your rise to full potential. However, I pride myself in being very polite and cordial and always acting appropriately in social situations, and I will only start to act rudely, i.e. ignoring you until you go away, if you try to force your unwanted relationship on me. People think that I’m cold, and I am, but I’m not mean either.
However, after this things get a little muggy. I am fairly convinced that I am Perceiving type because I procrastinate like crazy any sort of decision, big or small, until it is finally taken out of my hands, at which point I feel a sense of relief, even if the outcome is negative. I have a huge problem with aimlessness and living without direction in general, and I’m not anal-retentive at all- things that I consider small, like what movie we watch, where we eat dinner, what we talk about, I don’t even bother to put forth an opinion about. On the other hand, I am highly opinionated about some things, passive aggressive with both direct and indirect conflict, and really like to keep my house clean. I have a very all-or-nothing mentality, and the way I look is no exception- I either look homeless or have every hair in place. There’s really no in between. However, when I do dress to the nines, I do it for myself and not because I’m trying to impress anyone or get attention. It just makes me feel good to be aesthetically pleasing.
And the most undetermined part of my personality would, of course, be Feeling VS Thinking. As I mentioned, I have consistently tested as Thinking, but I’m not convinced. Around other people, I am very restrained. Although I enjoy exchanging witticisms and sort of being the behind-the-scenes sarcastic person (I don’t do it consciously but that’s what I come off to other people as being) and will hand over my opinion on anything trite or removed if asked, I don’t like to gossip or hear gossip- I think it’s detrimental and low-minded. I feel highly uncomfortable expressing any sort of ‘real’ emotion, or anthing having to do with the ‘real me’ enough that I feel a little nauseous writing this post, even though none of you know me or think anything of me. I only let my emotions out when I am alone, and when that happens (every six months or so), they’re usually very strong and it takes me anywhere from a day to a week to talk myself off a cliff of swirling negativity and nihilism. About most things, though, I am indifferent to a fairly high degree. Most people who have gotten to know me well enough find it alarming that I am so indisposed to show emotion, so I’ve adapted to this and will often ‘affect’ feelings that I don’t really feel. I show concern when someone has been sick when inside I don’t care, feign excitement when someone says that they’re having a baby, etc. This adaptation is applied to all people I associate with, including my immediate family, because I realize that my emotions (or lack thereof) are not condoned.
I also think that I might be T because I am never overwhelmed by feeling, if that makes sense. I personally know people who just can’t be reasoned with when they’re emotional, get to a place where they won’t hear logic in any context, and inevitably end up doing and saying rash things because their feelings are so strong in the moment. This isn’t like me at all. I will get angry, sad, depressed, paranoid, etc., but I can count on one hand the times in my life that I have flown off the handle and let anyone have it verbally or emotionally. To me, rampant emotionalism is manipulative and infuriating, whether I’m on the giving or receiving end of it, and few things annoy me more than an illogical, high-strung person ranting. When I see people in hysterics, screaming, or out of control ‘feeling’ I think that they look incredibly immature and stupid. Even when I do feel strong emotion, I can usually deal with it because I am able to place exactly where it came from and why I feel that way. Also, I am never ‘out of my mind’ with any given emotion- I have had people tell me that I seem to be deficient in the ‘panic gene’- I’ve never freaked out about anything because the brain part of me is always chiming in and reminding me that I’ve got logical options.
On the other hand, I wonder if INTP is correct because I am not particularly scientific or systematic in the things I do (at least I don’t think I am). Mathematics has never been able to hold my interest for me long enough so that I can even tell you if I’m good at it or not, although I suspect I wouldn’t be. I find science really interesting and enjoy reading and learning about it, but I still think that that falls pretty short of aptitude. I’ve always loved stuff like foreign cultures, word history, literature and languages (especially anything Far East). I love to read and appear to have at least some ability with language- I was one of the top-seated debaters on my high school team and received a ‘Cicero’ award from my school. I think and analyze a lot. Way more than is healthy. However, I can’t attest to the quality of these thoughts or analysis- I’ve always done really poorly in school and honestly have the focusing ability of a *gnat*. I shouldn’t have a drivers’ license- I can’t keep my attention on the road to save my life, literally.
I guess that one of the primary reasons I think that I might be Feeling (other than the fact that I am not smart enough to be INTP) is because deep, deep down in my heart of hearts I do long to have a relationship with someone. Just one person. I have always imagined it as a guy not because I really want romance per se, but just because I have always gotten along with guys better than girls. As a matter of fact, females pretty much drive me up a wall. So I usually imagine myself in a relationship with a guy who understands me and listens to my ideas, who is well-accomplished and intellectual and is able to stimulate me and make me want to be a better and more capable human being. Who will help to make me the person that I want to be. The relationship between George Eliot and George Henry Lewes comes to mind. And it’s worth noting that if I can’t have a relationship that fulfills these needs, then I’d really rather have none at all.
So, wow, I apologize for this being so freaking long-winded. I swear I’m not a narcissist, I just wanted to give as much information as possible so that accuracy could be improved. What do you guys think? Can you shed some light on the subject, based on what I’ve written? Or do you have any further questions that you would like for me to answer? Any questions, answers, or information is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

 

[Silveresque]

Hi Shade! Welcome to the forums!

Based on your post, I would say you sound like an INTP. You actually sound a lot like me in many ways, so it is possible you could be an INFP on the border like me, though it's more likely you're an INTP.

The thing is, being a thinking type doesn't mean that you don't have strong emotions. It just means that you prefer to act on logic rather than emotion. And everyone desires to have a deep relationship with someone, whether a thinking or feeling type. I understand what you mean about having strong emotions and feeling that "thinking" doesn't quite cover all that you are. In fact everyone has both thinking and feeling in them. Your type is merely your preference.

And you mentioned that you enjoy foreign languages and have little interest in math and science. I don't believe you have to have certain interests to fit into a personality type. INTP uses the introverted thinking (Ti) function to analyze ideas and situations based on structures and principles, but it isn't at all limited to math and science. I use my Ti for many things including language. In fact, INTP's often enjoy the study of foreign language.

Your type is most likely INTP, but if you still have doubts, you could try taking this cognitive functions test: http://www.keys2cognition.com/explore.htm

 

[Shade]

Thank you so much for your reply, Zero! And thank you for the welcome! What you have to say makes a lot of sense- it really clears things up for me! I realize now that the thinking and feeling can co-exist in me. If it's true that the MBTI is just an expression of your preference rather than a hard and fast rule for what your are, then that makes it seem a lot more likely that my typing is correct. I'm planning to take the cognitive functions test, but I was wondering if you would be so good to as to tell me why you think that I sound like an INTP? You mentioned that several of my replies sounded like you as an INFP, but do you think that I am an INTP based on my test results, or for some other reason?
Another question that I would like to pose is whether or not it's possible for abuse to have an effect on a person's type. Is our type something that we are no matter what influences us externally? Or do you think that it's possible that something traumatizing, like childhood abuse or another life-changing event, can mask a person's true type? If this is true, do you think that the person's actual personality comes through at some point, or do you think that it's possible for them to be set on an entirely different course? Any thoughts or comments are appreciated!

 

[Silveresque]

Great questions! I'll start with your first question. There are certain types of wording that lean more toward thinking rather than feeling. For example, you said "pad my ego with false information" and "detrimental and low-minded", which definitely sound like thinking to me. Although actually, I'm having a hard time right now finding more specific examples like these which is making me start to doubt my initial impression

Let's get a more objective opinion. There's this great site called uClassify: http://www.uclassify.com/browse/prfekt/Myers-Briggs-Judging-Function, and if you copy and paste some text into the box it can tell you whether the wording is more thinking or feeling. Yours comes out 59.8% thinking. Hmmm...actually, I'm starting to think you could still be an INFP. uClassify can be helpful sometimes, but it can't really tell you for certain whether you're a thinking or a feeling type.

You sure know how to ask the right questions! Actually, I have a question for you. Think back to when you were a little kid. Did you tend to act more on logic or emotion? This is where I am definitely an INFP. These days, I tend to base my decisions more on logic than emotion, but when I think back to when I was little there's no doubt that I was a feeler.

Now I know you didn't ask for this, but I think I'll clarify it anyways, in case you haven't read about it yet. Cognitive functions include introverted and extroverted feeling, thinking, sensing, and intuiting. They are abbreviated as Fi, Fe, Ti, Te, Si, Se, Ni, and Ne. Theoretically, each personality type has four main functions: a dominant function, which is your primary way of either making decisions or taking in information, an auxiliary function, which supports your dominant function, a tertiary function, and an inferior function. The tertiary and inferior functions are usually used poorly unless developed. All other functions besides these four supposedly exist in the unconscious and are called shadow functions. The four main functions for an INTP are Ti (dom), Ne (aux), Si (ter), and Fe (inf). An INFP has Fi, Ne, Si, and Te. It's not uncommon, however, for an INFP to develop Ti (supposedly an INFP's worst function, the shadow function of inferior Te). I've also seen INTP's with developed Fi. This is why the two types are sometimes mistyped as the other.

I suggested taking the cognitive functions test because it should help clarify which functions you use best, which could be the key to determining your true type. Most regular MBTI tests tend to pit logic and emotion against each other, and when they do that logic will always win out, at least for me and probably for you as well. This type of test, however, tests each function individually, so you're not forced to choose one or the other.

Now for your next question! The answer is that abuse can definitely affect one's personality. In fact, the main cause of most personality disorders is childhood abuse/neglect. This is a very interesting question, because I also wonder whether such personality disorders actually become one's personality or simply mask it. I have a theory that one's personality is still developing throughout early childhood, and that certain aspects of it can be impacted by experience. This sounds like something that would be very interesting discuss and share opinions and ideas! You should start a thread, maybe in the psychology forum.

 

[Shade]

Ah, you are so great! I am learning a ton- I'm so glad that I decided to join the boards! ^^ I took the Cognition test and I thought that the results were pretty interesting- they said that based on my responses they thought that I was an INTJ! That's the first time that I've gotten something other than INTP! The test stated that my Dominant Process is Ni and my Supporting Process is is Te. My Fi was classified as having 'limited use', and my Fe was classified as 'unused', LOL. Of course, I then had to retake the test, and I got INTP that time- my Dominant Process was Ti and my Supporting Process was Ne- the flip of what I got the first time, I guess. But again- am I editing myself? Affecting the outcome of the test once I become aware of the controls? That notwithstanding, I don't really feel that I *fit* the INTJ personality. I'm just really not all "screw you, I'm right. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do" about things. I think that I can certainly come off that way if you don't know me, but on the inside at least I'm much more "Oh, really?... Do you think?" I'm really just not very sure of myself in any arena. Which probably isn't a good thing. But still the truth.
That does, however, sort of lead into this little tangent that I started. Thanks, maybe I will start a thread in the Psychology Forum about this, because I am curious. It does apply to my original topic (I swear!) because I was pretty heavily abused physically/emotionally/verbally through the duration of my childhood. I have been able to put it in its place in my mind, which means that although I still fight with bad feelings as a result of what happened, I can rationally set it aside. However, I can't (obviously) speak for my subconscious, or for the kind of person I might have been if I were raised in a more supportive home. The cognitive test results that I just took sort of give rise to these thoughts in my mind- *would* I be more judging, more sure of myself, if I hadn't been put down so much as a child? The same hypothesis applies to the T part of my alleged personality. To reference your question, I have also considered how I was as a child, but then I question that because I think that the external force of the abuse might have affected who I was and what processes were used by me. Even setting this aside, it's hard for me to say whether T or F would have been most dominant for me in my childhood. Inside, I felt very isolated, hurt, and hypersensitive, but I didn't usually show that on the outside. As a matter of fact, I came across quite the opposite to people- they thought that I was self-centered and better than everyone else and that I didn't give a hoot what anyone else thought. I didn't mean to come across like that, though- it was sort of the perfect storm of my personality acting out combined with the fact that I really did have a lot of things materially. With my abusers, however, I was different- I was emotionally cold and non-reactive, but I was also cunning. I didn't think to myself, "I'm gonna give you guys hell", I was just trying to get away from the abuse, but I went about it in a destructive way. So I sort of fell into pathological lying and had (this is strictly a self-diagnosis, you understand) a bit of antisocial personality disorder- I was totally irresponsible, apathetic, callous, and had a certain disregard for other people- I lied to everyone about everything, would steal, etc. Some of these problems have endured into my present life, but are a lot less severe than they were.
Anyway, (sorry, I always thought that I was succinct in expressing my thoughts- clearly not!) it makes me wonder if I felt a lot more F as a child because of what was going on, or if that was really the kind of person I was- although it's possilb even that I was T as a kid- my sense of self continues to be poor, especially about that time in my life. To put that idea on its head, is there a possibility that I am T now because of what happened to me? Because I perceived that emotions and feelings led to unacceptable actions by my abusers, and therefore am rejecting the expression of emotion in any form? I know that I do have a tendency to 'fight' feeling- as I mentioned earlier, it makes me feel uncomfortable and naked to talk about how I feel in any context. I guess that in a nutshell I'm saying that I don't know if I am the way I am because I am that way, or if I am the way I am because of what happened to me. Maybe it's useless to hypothesize, because of course we'll never know for sure, but it does make you wonder....

 

[Silveresque]

Well, these results confirm that you're a thinking type

You're definitely an INTP though, not an INTJ. Since my father and brother are both INTJ's, I'd recognize that type anywhere. And your indecisiveness and self-doubting are clear indicators of a perceiving type.

You bring up a very interesting question, one I've often wondered about. Is one's judging preference (T/F) inborn, or is it something developed in early childhood and subject to change? Can a natural F be masked by T, and if so can it be unveiled later? I'm looking forward to seeing your psychology thread!

By the way, have you heard of the enneagram? You seem to me like a 4w5 or a 5w4. Check out this link: http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

 

[Shade]

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=49728&p=1638082#post1638082


Yes, I have unprofessionally typed my dad as an INTJ, and it's certainly a very.... distinctive personality type. ^^ Not much chance of mistaking them for someone else. I have heard of the Enneagram, and I have tested as a 5w4 on the couple of tests that I have taken. Feel that this matches with the data?

 

[Shade]

Oh sorry, one other question- I have noticed that some people write parts of their personality as a lowercase, and I didn't really notice it until the last test that I took before the cognitive functions test said that my type was INTp. Does this mean anything?

 

[Silveresque]

I'm not entirely sure. I think it might mean that it's a hesitant typing, like if they're not absolutely positive they're that type. Just my guess though, it might not mean anything.

 

[amerellis]

i think you are an XXXX most closely resembling ISTP and INFP.