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Thread: Type my friend?

  1. #1
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Default Type my friend?

    I have an idea of what type my friend is, but I’ll put it at the end of this post, so you can form your own conclusions first.


    -People being consistent and considerate (especially considerate) is very important to her. She gets really upset about bad behaviour, people being users and such.
    -Very private about romantic feelings and the like; she definitely likes men, but dates very little (like me and many of my friends, though, as we tend to take relationships ultra-seriously and anyway not meet many people we’re drawn to seriously) and is very reserved about anything to do with her romantic life or feelings. It’s something I can talk about with her in the abstract (ie. “men are commitment-phobes” ) but not really beyond that.
    -Quite often admits to being emotionally over-stretched, very sensitive, etc…but I think she only admits to this with a very few people, and to a casual observer, you wouldn’t know it. She looks reserved, unflappable and a bit tough.
    -She can be very prickly and even surprisingly insensitive. I think it’s when she’s already feeling stressed or irritated, and especially somewhere like Facebook, she’s sometimes made unnecessarily mean comments that have surprised me. Not often, but still. It’s like sometimes she doesn’t know how she comes across. I have glimpsed her getting openly upset a few times but I think she had already been stressed and felt pushed to the limit.
    -I think some people who don’t know her well find her chilly and prickly. I happen to know that she’s actually extremely caring and she’s one of the people in my life I consider like a rock. We’ve known each other six years and it was a slow developing friendship, ie. we were more like good acquaintances for two or three years but gradually got closer. She was one of the first people in this city who reached out to me, though. Although the friendship developed slowly I think there may have been an element of kindred spirits spotting each other.
    -Loves culture, books etc. A similar mix to me, tending to the romantic, epic, classic, deep and thoughtful.
    -She seems so down to earth but we’ve proved to have similar unconventional ideas about buildings holding an aura/feeling related to events that have happened there, psychic abilities, and these sorts of things.
    -Funny sense of humour. We often text each other about weird happenings in our city (and there are a lot of them), funny things that local politicians have said and that kind of thing.



    …I think she’s likely to be a fellow INFJ. I wonder about INTJ as well, but she seems too sensitive, under the reserved exterior – and isn’t that typical INFJ? She probably has a “colder” and “pricklier” exterior than I do but I know I can come across tough and sometimes chilly too, so… Plus, she’s English and she is my most English friend. She has the reserve, the tendency to slow-developing friendships, etc.
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    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    ISFJ seems likely.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    ISFJ seems likely.
    Yeah, I thought also possible. I'm sure she's IxxJ. (as are many people I'm close to.) Why do you think more so than another IxxJ type?
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    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Yeah, I thought also possible. I'm sure she's IxxJ. (as are many people I'm close to.) Why do you think more so than another IxxJ type?
    I did go back to read more ISFJ descriptions, as I typed her on a whim, (didn't read any INFJ, though). But, I guess she sounds kind of overwhelmed, which ISFJ's can become if they are unappreciated. (That was something that I remembered specifically.) Sensitive, very loyal to those that she loves. I don't see T at all. I'm not really sure where I would see N, that's difficult to type outwardly anyway. She also reminds me of a friend of mine who is a tested confirmed ISFJ. Sometimes I will type someone S over N just because of a sheer higher possibility of them being S.

    Edit: Just read INFJ description. I'm still leaning towards S, but could go either way. Would have to know why she's so prickly, I suppose. Or more information in general.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  5. #5
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I agree that N can be hard to spot or even define... I don't think I'm very good at typing people so it can be hard to say (though maybe that's better than being overconfident about it!). I do have a tendency to think that people I really click with must be N, but reality has shown that I have definite S types in my life who I click with like crazy.

    She reminds me a bit of my mom who is almost certainly INTJ. However, my mom is ferociously devoted to a very small number of people, mostly her family, and not really that interested in the rest of humankind. That's not really what this friend is like. I agree she seems more F, certainly the sensitivity and tendency to feel very hurt. My mom is more likely to get mad and superior than hurt, while my dad is more like me (ISFJ or INFJ, I think) and totally internalizes things and feels hurt for a long time if it's a serious situation.

    She's somewhat like one of my best friends back home who is either ISFJ, or an F-ish ISTJ (really not sure, I'd almost say ISxJ.)

    I think if she's ISFJ she's N-ish, much as I am an S-ish INFJ...though that may not fit in so well with function theory
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I agree that N can be hard to spot or even define... I don't think I'm very good at typing people so it can be hard to say (though maybe that's better than being overconfident about it!). I do have a tendency to think that people I really click with must be N, but reality has shown that I have definite S types in my life who I click with like crazy.

    She reminds me a bit of my mom who is almost certainly INTJ. However, my mom is ferociously devoted to a very small number of people, mostly her family, and not really that interested in the rest of humankind. That's not really what this friend is like. I agree she seems more F, certainly the sensitivity and tendency to feel very hurt. My mom is more likely to get mad and superior than hurt, while my dad is more like me (ISFJ or INFJ, I think) and totally internalizes things and feels hurt for a long time if it's a serious situation.

    She's somewhat like one of my best friends back home who is either ISFJ, or an F-ish ISTJ (really not sure, I'd almost say ISxJ.)

    I think if she's ISFJ she's N-ish, much as I am an S-ish INFJ...though that may not fit in so well with function theory

    Yea, she doesn't sound like your stereotypical duty filled task oriented ISFJ. I'm not sure an interest in auras and psyche type things necessarily make you N though. For me, Ni is really hard to see and define in people, it's just kind of a.... "vibe", (so even harder if I'm typing online.) Need more info, I guess. It's hard to box people in this way, so I understand what you mean about "Nish" S's. Sounds to me like just interests, though.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  7. #7
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I do love IxxJs generally. Everyone in my family is definitely IxxJ - me (INFJ), my mom (INTJ), dad (ISFJ or INFJ or just maybe an F-ish ISTJ), brother (ISTJ). And I tend to gravitate to them in friendship. All other combinations like ExxP, ExxJ, IxxP present more challenges for me in friendships and relationships.

    Ni is indeed very hard to see and define. I feel like it should be easier given that I'm convinced I'm an Ni user. But everyone seems to have a different definition and a different way of spotting it, and I never bought the "I can see it in the eyes" sort of thing To me it has to do with instinctive use of symbols, glimpses of below-the-surface connections that are not evident to many, and use of metaphor.

    My friend does seem to have an instinctive understanding of metaphoric language which I use a lot of, and I think that can be one indicator. Then again - it's not like S-types can't understand or use metaphor. It's just the use of it routinely for expressing yourself and a quick understanding of what the other person is trying to say when a lot of people would stare at you blankly .
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    What are the names of the books she reads? Which authors? I'm leaning toward INFJ but looking for some more evidence to push me over.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
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  9. #9
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mal12345 View Post
    What are the names of the books she reads? Which authors? I'm leaning toward INFJ but looking for some more evidence to push me over.
    Hmm... She has fairly wide tastes as do I. On the literary side. A few that she loves are Middlemarch (George Eliot), A Time of Gifts (classic travel book, Patrick Leigh Fermor), books by Ursula le Guin and Tolkien, The Help by Kathryn Stockett... She also likes poetry, probably more on the Keats/Shelley side of things. I'm into some pretty obscure and abstruse stuff, I think she likes it a bit more accessible, but that may be generalizing.

    I have to say I don't find using specific books, movies etc to help typing people very useful...though you may have had more success, I don't know! I mean, I thought someone who read philosophy and poetry etc was a likely INTJ...then thought maybe ENTJ...he turned out to be ESTJ. He just had a very ESTJ approach/outlook on the stuff he read. And an N will have a more N response. If that makes sense. My friend likes a bit of escapism and insight into human nature, I think much as I do.
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  10. #10
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    ISFJ with focus on F rather than S.
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