These questions are tough.
I posted this on PerN and gotten no replies just yet so I was hoping some of the boffins here could sort these answers out
1) Describe your outward behavior and internal mindset when around people in different situations (such as with friends, family, in public, workspace, etc.)?
With my family I come off icy and/or aggressive (depending on my mood). But it’s usually icy and I ignore everyone else.
With friends I lighten up considerably; I’m not as loud and boisterous/flamboyant because most of my friend interactions are on a one-on-one basis. I would say I am more of a rock/listener, while occasionally butting in to give my comments about the topic. I don’t usually start the topics.
In public it depends. If I’m doing a semi-formal presentation then I am much more livelier than with my friends. Other than that I don’t know what I’m like in public because I don’t know what is meant by public.
At work I shuffle between focus and cracking jokes. I play the role of critic/brainstormer while coming up with ideas for the problem that is being solved. I think this is when I am my most liveliest and my most happiest.
a. If your outward behavior and internal mindset are different in different settings, do you have any specific reasons as to why you act one way in one setting and another in another setting?
I hate my family, period.
With friends it’s not that I am not that interested, it’s just that in these kind of one-on-one interactions I prefer to take a backseat and just listen. Don’t know why though, I think it has something to do with a bit of apathy.
In public because there is more stimuli I am much livelier because I am constantly thinking of ways to shock the audience or make them laugh. Either with grotesque irony or plain inappropriateness (sex jokes etc etc). It’s all about the reaction that I get, and that is what amuses me.
Because it’s work, I am my most happiest. I feel as though by completing work I am one step closer to reaching my ultimate goal; I think the shuffle between jokes is a distraction that just spills out of my mouth in whatever that I am thinking of.
b. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others?
Uh, as a general rule, no one knows about my family or my childhood when I’m talking to anyone IRL. I don’t talk about it, no one brings it up unless I do.
c. Do you feel like you need to play certain roles when around different groups of people?
Duh! Haven’t I explained it just now?
Family – ice queen
Friends – steady rock
Public – rogue artist
Work – determined comedian (can’t think of a better phrase)
d. What motivates you to withhold or give out qualities of yourself to different groups of people?
I don’t care if people look up to me or not, or if people like me in the first place. I want respect and hence I make sure I dominate a situation if I know I can successfully control it or if I am in the mood.
Otherwise I’ll be icy cold to everyone else. All or nothing.
2) Is there a certain way that you wish others to perceive you as? If so, what do you do in order to allow others to see you in that way?
I don’t wish others to perceive me as anything IRL; I am aware of how people perceive me as. It’s not like I go out of my way to make people like me because I am this and this. I ALREADY am this.
3) When wishing to impress others, what do you usually do in order to allow others to see you in the best possible light?
I suck at selling myself if I’m not interested 100% in the first place. I give a half-assed interview.
Usually what I tell them is that I am a focused person who has a sense of humor (I think if I specified what kind it would lower my selling value, but if they do I just tell them I give playful ones). Able to lead others into a direction and not afraid of failure. Good public speaker and good writing skills etc etc.
1) How do you generally present yourself to people in different situations (such as with friends, family, in public, workspace, etc)?
From a distance I seem cold and uninterested. People I hold close would find me nice and interesting. That’s a general rule.
I think I have specified how I look like in those situations.
a. What is/are the reason(s) for presenting that image of yourself?
b. What are things you keep repressed from being shown to people?
c. Why do you repress them?
Nobody needs to know about my childhood. I don’t like being reminded.
The Ego Complex
2) If you could fully reveal how you want to talk, act, behave, or be, what would that look like? *Note: If your answer is “I act like myself” or “I would act like myself” or “I would just want to be myself” or any variant of the following, please be more specific.
At this point in time I don’t know what “myself” is. I think “myself” is how I’ve always been. I was sensitive, shy and smart when I was a kid. Now I don’t know about shy and sensitive – well, shy only in social situations where there’s no beneficial purpose.
Now I would consider myself a cold ice freak who likes being alone. I can feign warmth if I want to, but ultimately that leads me into an existential depression because that is not me. “Myself” is interested in the grotesque and likes to shock people with freakiness.
I have a thing for gory tumblr blogs.
The Shadow Complex
3) What personality qualities do you generally hate about people?
a. Describe the personality qualities of a person of the same-sex who you heavily dislike.
OH MY GOD! “my penis is bigger than yours. Dude, the gym’s been a blast”
I hate masculinity. I hate it with a burning passion. “Be a man” is one thing that never fails to put me into a seething rage.
b. Describe the personality qualities of a person of the opposite-sex who you heavily dislike.
OH MY GOD! “girl, my nails are sooooooo ruined; UGH! That bitch just did that. Did you see that? Bitchbitchbitch
I hate feminism. I hate it with a burning passion that EQUALS masculinity. It’s so fucking dumb, these gender roles.
4) Are there any qualities that you dislike in other people that you find in yourself? What are they?
Superficiality. I think I’m very ugly and I feel this want to be attractive to others but I end up doing nothing about it because it’s so superficial. Then it starts another cycle. I don’t do anything about it because it’s not a big priority.
The Anima/Animus Complex
5) What personality qualities do you generally like about people?
a. Describe the personality qualities of a person of the same-sex who you really like.
b. Describe the personality qualities of a person of the opposite-sex who you really like.
I don’t pay attention to people so I don’t know. Male or female they’re still humans; to me they are equal in their actions and consequences.
6) How do you normally interact with the opposite-sex upon first meeting or first impression?
a. If the first impression/meeting was positive, why?
b. If the first impression/meeting was negative, why?
This question only works for str8 people. So I’m going to give a general answer.
With both sexes I usually give a negative impression because it’s not like I deem you interesting from my observations. Cold, uninterested.
7) What were your parents like in YOUR perspective when you were a child ages 4-12 and how or in what way do you feel they have affected or influenced you (whether negatively or positively)?
Mother = bad, father = good (until 11) /bad (when I was 12)
As you can see I came from a very happy family.
Abuse from both parents, neglect and physical abuse caused me to be cold and uninvolved generally.
Concreticism vs Abstraction properties
8) *incomplete* Skip to 9)
General Psyche State of Mind
9) Are you currently depressed and if so, how long have you been depressed?
I don’t know. I am in a current state of apathy and vengeance.
a. If you are not depressed, have you ever been depressed before?
I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced a state of depression as how society experiences it or how it is dictated by them. Maybe my depressive stage is apathy and isolation.
b. During the depressive state, if applicable, are you more prone to centering attention to yourself than you would ordinarily do?
I direct my attention to my plans for getting back at the person.
10) Have you ever acted compulsively with no awareness or control? For example, you become overly concerned with people or things around you that you would ordinarily not care about. (This does not have to be in a form of anger. It could be you becoming much more obsessive over someone or developing unusual addictions to drugs and/or alcohols or anything similar to that effect.)
Only whacked my mom with a chair and broke it, bonked her on the head twice and shouted at her millions of times. That screams anger to me.
I don’t know about OCD. Everything I do is under control. I only lose control when I am angry.
11) Whenever you are heavily stressed out and pushed over the edge to extreme points, what is your general response? It could be anger, sadness, isolation, violence, etc
Here’s the stages:
Isolation -> apathy -> vengeance -> apathy -> vengeance -> volcano erupt.
12) (Free Write or Mind Dump question) State what you see as the major key events in your life and your response to each of them at the time.
, @Comrade DPH
- I answered these questions in my free time. Greatly appreciated if you guys can take a look at these answers and give a reply.