Please, please help me type my new crush......

[Halfjillhalfjack]

I'd really appreciate your help concerning the typing of my new crush, because I am completely clueless about his type, even though I had quite a clear idea at the beginning....

so, he:

- is an extremely associative thinker.....we can talk for hours on end, just hopping from one association to another.....I had an immediate connection to his way of thinking and feel that we are extremely similar in the way we think....
- he doubts everything all the time. the only thing he's sure of is his DOUBT. he has problems making decisions, and often ends up doing nothing and all with the feeling that his life is passing him by....even though he has so many visions and ideas of what he'd like to do. he has never had a long relationship, and he's almost thirty now. he says that as soon as he feels what he has with a woman is defined as a "relationship", be gets extremely scared and wants to leave.....even if what he is actually having with a woman IS a relationship, that is, includes all such things as meeting often, having sex, understanding each other and being faithful to one another....
- he studies literature as his major, and sociology and history as minor (?) subjects.
- he can be very ambitious, but has problems to nail things down in exams.
- is extremely self-reflective and tends to hide his light under a bushel, even though he is very intelligent.
- he is creative in that he writes poetry and short stories. initially he wanted to be an actor but failed the qualifying examinations.
- I think he is very aware of other's feelings, and tends to try to suit everybody.
- is quite direct in communication, always wants to tell the truth.
- is able to remember a lot of details from the things/stories he has read and to re-tell those very vividly.
- says that the academic way has somewhat disappointed him/ is not his way. he has thought of doing a hands-on job after finishing uni (in order to stop his continuous brooding).
- as a child he wanted to become an astronaut in order to discover the last secrets of the universe .....has also dreamed of becoming a racer ....and a writer.

that's all I can think of at the moment..... I'll add further things later.
I'd be really, really, really thankful for any of your impressions....the thing is, this "non-relationship" we are having is really bugging me out....I have the feeling that we are the "perfect fit", it's hard to describe, but.....that we are also the most dangerous combination I can think of :/.......

 

[goats]

infp?

does he throw hissy fits?

 

[storybrook]

INFP, maybe INTP. I think the more interesting question is why you think a man who gets bugged out by anything resembling a relationship is the perfect fit for you!

 

[Halfjillhalfjack]

INFP, maybe INTP. I think the more interesting question is why you think a man who gets bugged out by anything resembling a relationship is the perfect fit for you!

ah....that's a good question.....I have to admit that it is DESPITE his getting bugged out by anything resembling a relationship that I think he is the perfect fit.....I guess it is due to this exact thing that he IS NOT the perfect fit :/..... i got extremely hurt and traumatized by the break up of my last and first relationship, I think this could have much to do with this (and the fact that I meet this guy despite the fact that I know I want a relationship)......

 

[Elfboy]

INFP probably a 4w5

 

[paperoceans]

He sounds like me--stay away. Like me, I have problems with long-term relationships. When I think they might "go" somewhere, I back the fuck out. I have always done it even if the person is good to me and has not done me wrong. Knowing he is almost thirty, he'll probably leave you just the same. The problem is a fear of commitment and letting yourself seem vulnerable to the other person. I'm not sure what type he is though.

 

[skylights]

sounds like INFP.

do you know if he wants a long-term relationship?

an INFJ might be very good for him, if so. you are low-key and stable.

 

[Halfjillhalfjack]

I asked him to do the human metrics test, and there he got ISFJ, very high on I, only 1 point on the S-side, and F and J around 38 or so.....dont really know what to make of that.....I know it's just a test, though. but I'd never expected ISFJ..... he could well be an INFJ like me....

 

[Halfjillhalfjack]

sounds like INFP.

do you know if he wants a long-term relationship?

an INFJ might be very good for him, if so. you are low-key and stable.

um, thanks for the compliments ....INFJs can also veeery demanding and I know INFJs who are very unstable if they have not developed their Fe well.....

 

[21%]

I wanted to say INFP -- but there was nothing in the original post about him being "sensitive" -- which I think is something you would pick up right away

Could be INTP...

 

[Mal12345]

I asked him to do the human metrics test, and there he got ISFJ, very high on I, only 1 point on the S-side, and F and J around 38 or so.....dont really know what to make of that.....I know it's just a test, though. but I'd never expected ISFJ..... he could well be an INFJ like me....

It sounds like he's almost even on the N/S scale, with 1 point toward the S.

 

[King sns]

INFP, excellent use of Si.

(Si always battling for attention with Ne. That is a nice balanced mix, but may cause a lot of the doubt and indecision, and make him look more "J" at the same time.) That's my initial assessment. I actually didn't see any J at first- but he sees J and you see J, so I'm guessing there must be some J element in there.

 

[Mal12345]

INFP, excellent use of Si.

(Si always battling for attention with Ne. That is a nice balanced mix, but may cause a lot of the doubt and indecision, and make him look more "J".) That's my initial assessment.

What does "excellent" mean in this context? Maybe his Si tertiary is excellent at ruining his relationships? And his Ne is underexpressed, it remains in the brainwave state. Maybe that's the source of his "continuous brooding."

 

[King sns]

What does "excellent" mean in this context? Maybe his Si tertiary is excellent at ruining his relationships? And his Ne is underexpressed, it remains in the brainwave state. Maybe that's the source of his "continuous brooding."

Maybe, I don't know. Like I said, I didn't see it. I thought it may be the reason he mistyped as ISFJ and she thought he might be INFJ. (She sees J, he sees SJ.) Since I didn't see it, I can't say how it would manifest. I saw INFP.

Edit: He may not have even mistyped, I'm just pondering.

 

[Mal12345]

Maybe, I don't know. Like I said, I didn't see it. I thought it may be the reason he mistyped as ISFJ and she thought he might be INFJ. (She sees J, he sees SJ.) Since I didn't see it, I can't say how it would manifest. I saw INFP.

Edit: He may not have even mistyped, I'm just pondering.

I'm using INFP to draw out the Si tertiary. It can be overexpressed while brooding over the past, compensating for an Ne that is relatively passive. This makes for an overly withdrawn character. Too much introversion is bad for you, and in the past a withdrawn attitude has been seen as a sign of neurotic conflict. Around here they call it an Fi-Si tertiary loop.

 

[Mal12345]

Let me give you an example from the MBTI description of the INFP: "INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.

INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs."

The INFP in question, however, is doing none of that. This INFP has shown excellent facility at wishing and hoping. It may or may not be wishing on a grandiose scale, although a child wishing to become an astronaut someday is not grandiose, it's just being a child. I'm just saying that wishing and hoping is not accomplishing. It is not expressing extraverted-N of the personality type. A personality underexpressing its auxiliary type naturally reverts to using some other faculty, particularly the tertiary.

I don't know if that has anything to do with breaking off relationships, although that may be inferior Te coming into play.

 

[Hazashin]

INFP, excellent use of Si.

(Si always battling for attention with Ne. That is a nice balanced mix, but may cause a lot of the doubt and indecision, and make him look more "J" at the same time.) That's my initial assessment. I actually didn't see any J at first- but he sees J and you see J, so I'm guessing there must be some J element in there.

I thought it may be the reason he mistyped as ISFJ and she thought he might be INFJ. (She sees J, he sees SJ.) Since I didn't see it, I can't say how it would manifest. I saw INFP.

What does "excellent" mean in this context? Maybe his Si tertiary is excellent at ruining his relationships? And his Ne is underexpressed, it remains in the brainwave state. Maybe that's the source of his "continuous brooding."

Actually, this all sounds a lot like me. I am an INFP with weak Ne, and I originally mistyped as ISFJ.

 

[Mal12345]

Actually, this all sounds a lot like me. I am an INFP with weak Ne, and I originally mistyped as ISFJ.

As an INTP, I have ISTJ traits. But I never mistyped myself as that. The original test wasn't that complex. I had equal N/S scores, and a rather high J score. And as usual, 100% introvert.

 

[Hazashin]

As an INTP, I have ISTJ traits. But I never mistyped myself as that. The original test wasn't that complex. I had equal N/S scores, and a rather high J score. And as usual, 100% introvert.

I had pretty much had equal J and P scores but a rather high S score.

 

[Mal12345]

I had pretty much equal J and P scores but a rather high S score.

I don't think there's any rule for that. But I hadn't put this together until I came to this forum and discovered the importance of tertiaries. It's not originally Jungian, but it explains a lot of discrepancies in the MBTI, such as mistyping problems and those who have two types that fit equally well.

There might be a rule for determining what someone's tertiary MBTI type is.