1. What are 5 key qualities about you, and what is each of their direct opposites?
I am curious. I am uninterested.
I am sensitive. I am heartless.
I am aesthetically-perceptive. I am blind to all but the ugliness.
I am understanding. I am close-minded.
I am innovative. I am status quo.
2. Now explain why each of the opposites COULD be you and why it might be GOOD to be that opposite characteristic. Own them even if they are negative traits.
Sometimes I am uninterested, because people can be boring and learning more sometimes... what's the point?
Sometimes I am heartless because people expect so much, and there is so much suffering and cruelty. I just can't deal anymore, it's just too much. And what can I do, really?
Sometimes I am blind to the beauty which exists in the world basically because of what I mentioned previously. This is redundant. (But I am also tired.)
Sometimes I am close-minded because... again... see above. Uh...
Sometimes I am status quo because what I do doesn't really matter anyway. Better just do what is expected and then no one expects anything groundbreaking from you.
3. What would you say to a 5-year-old child if he or she asked you what the purpose of life is?
Note: You’re talking to a young child so keep the answer short and brief.
To recognize the beauty that's in you and everything else. A curious mind makes for a joyful heart. Nature is fascinating!
4. What type of advice would you give that same child on how to survive in this world?
You aren't the only thing that exists. Be mindful in every action you take, how it affects the world around you. But don't let that paralyze you, prevent you from acting. You matter.
5. If you were told you only had one year to live from today, and it was 100% guaranteed that you would die exactly 1 year from now, what would you do in that year?
Note: Your health will be fine all the way up to the end.
If I had no financial concerns? Finally live for awhile in both a treehouse and a sailboat. Spend quality time with those I love. Take lots of photos of what I consider to be fascinating, beautiful. Write something that's honest and hopefully insightful.
6. Why aren't you doing this now?
I spend quality time with those I love. Sometimes I do the last two, although not as much as I should. The first has of yet to happen because I am not independently wealthy. Also, I'm a chicken shit and I waste a lot of time researching typology.
7. What do you really want in your truest self?
To create something artistic which relays my moments of intense connection and blissful insight in a profound and innovative way.
8. What have you substituted/settled for compared to what you really want?
I've settled for learning without acting, having relationship security but not pushing my limits creatively, intellectually. I hide because I don't want to risk putting myself out there, because maybe I'm not as talented and as great and as insightful as I think I might be.
9. What are your defense mechanisms?
Withdrawing. Researching. Procrastinating.
10. What are some good habits that are needed for living a healthy adult life?
Persistence, self-discipline, objectivity, faith in self, wisdom
11. What are you like in relaxed and non-threatening situations?
Kind, articulate, generous, insightful, self-sharing, witty, bold
12. What does your heart feel like it needs and wants?
To truly believe that I could bring something new and of value into the world. That the people who matter love me for who I truly am, that the real me needs to come out.
13. What condition is your heart in right now?
Hiding behind a protective shell.
14. What does your head say it needs and wants?
To be engaged, to be challenged.
15. What condition is your mind in right now?
It's wasting time on unimportant stuff, aka the enneagram. It needs to take some real risks, dammit!
16. What does your body say it needs and wants?
A hike, go sea kayaking, jump in the ocean.
17. What is the condition of your body right now?
Irritated and skinny/ not enough muscle cause I waste time in front of a computer screen.
18. Which do you trust the most in making an important decision between your head, body, and heart? Why?
All of them in concert. If it's an important decision all of them will be in agreement.
19. Which do you trust the least in making an important decision between your head, body, and heart? Why?
When it's one of the isolated parts. I think this is a stupid question. I am an integrated being, not divided into three sections.
20. What is your predominant fault?
Wasting time thinking/ overanalyzing versus doing.
21. Think of a time when you felt at ease and connected to yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
I thought the world was a beautiful, transcendent place and that, wow, I actually do love people.
22. Think of a time when you felt anxious and disconnected from yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
I thought what's the point? People are ugly, disgusting, cruel; Life is nasty, brutish, short; the world cares nothing for its creatures.
23. What is an addiction or urge that seems to drive you as almost as if you’re not in control? Almost like an alien force that drives or pushes you down.
Endlessly researching and analyzing my enneatype.
24. What things do you feel you cannot do because they might jeopardize your survival?
Be completely honest in my writing, art because then my loved ones will hate me. Work a full-time job because interacting with people beyond my family and occassionally with friends sucks the life out of me. I guard my alone time with a vengeance.
25. What do you need in your life to face your fears?
A kick in the pants. A belief that I have enough energy and strength to deal with it.
26. What is your own personal mission statement?
I hate mission statements. It makes me think of terrible job experiences. That said, sigh, "To be a thoughtful person who creates positive vs negative change, who spins hardships into something life affirming, insightful, and beautiful.