Thanks to Limit and Savage Idealist for the questions. Don't feel constrained by my self-typing - go with what sounds more likely to you and we'll go from there, 'k, guys?
1. What are 5 key qualities about you, and what is each of their direct opposites?
Example: “I am nice. The opposite of that would be cruel.”
(I'm taking some liberties about what constitutes a "quality"...)
* I am quiet. The opposite would be "loud".
* I am sensitive. The opposite would be "rough".
* I am careful. The opposite would be "rash".
* I am open-minded. The opposite would be "close-minded".
* I am easily rapt. The opposite would be "easily distracted".
2. Now explain why each of the opposites COULD be you and why it might be GOOD to be that opposite characteristic. Own them even if they are negative traits.
Example: “I am nice. The opposite of that would be cruel. I guess I can be cruel because I never tip waiters. Tipping waiters encourages them to stay at these jobs ‘….’”
* I can be loud when engrossed in a conversation or when being dramatic. It can be good, since that makes people pay more attention to what I say and helps me verbalize my ideas.
* I can be rough when feeling neurotic or conflicted, when I feel "invaded" or when my perfectionism takes over. It can be good, since I can establish boundaries and be honest with people (though it makes me feel a bit guilty).
* I can be rash when I want to get out of the "we're going there, no, we're going there" loops and just want to do something instead of grumbling about it to people who have nothing to do with it. It can be good, since otherwise you can be trapped in a mental/argumentative quagmire.
* I can be close-minded when people involve me in their plans without asking me or when people think I'm being silly and foolish. It can be good, since it encourages people to take me seriously and helps me defend my ideas. This happens mostly when I'm stressed, though.
* I can be easily distracted when doing something very boring or that makes me anxious (homework or projects, for instance - can you say procrastination? ). It can be good, since I get less miffed when people ask me to do something out of the blue.
3. What would you say to a 5-year-old child if he or she asked you what the purpose of life is?
Note: You’re talking to a young child so keep the answer short and brief.
"I think that's something that's different for everyone. I guess you just have to make good use of your gifts and find people who understand and care about you, while you understand and care about them... I'm not the most qualified person to tell you, to be honest, kiddo. XD"
4. What type of advice would you give that same child on how to survive in this world?
Note: You’re talking to a young child so keep the answer short and brief.
"Make good friends, work hard and find something that interests you. Also, don't cheat or double-cross people - you wouldn't want them to do that to you, would you?"
(Note: I'm lousy with children. )
5. If you were told you only had one year to live from today, and it was 100% guaranteed that you would die exactly 1 year from now, what would you do in that year?
Note: Your health will be fine all the way up to the end.
Geez, that's a tough one. I'd try to make my peace with those I feel I've let down, I guess, and read a lot. And, of course, ask that those I care about are informed about the illness, so they don't think I've abandoned them.
6. Why aren't you doing this now?
Last one is obvious. I'm a bit too neurotic to do the "make my peace" thing, and I kinda feel it's never quite over... Plus, I'm a bit of a lousy communicator. I don't read a lot nowadays because my enjoyment is diminished during the university period due to my shimmering-under-the-surface anxiety.
7. What do you really want in your truest self?
That's hard to say... I have desires, but I also have to think of their impact on those I care about (my family, specifically). I'd say I want to be able to help people (indirectly, maybe) while having my personal space - my "den", if you will - and my personal "library" to enjoy (plus Internet access ). I also want to befriend people who like and care about me and be a good friend to them.
8. What have you substituted/settled for compared to what you really want?
I'm currently a bit lonely and feeling inferior to my peers in RL, but I've made great friends in this forum (You guys rock! ). I've also chosen a career I'm not sure I like that much, but that counts as an invaluable asset to society, which is good, I guess. I also read during vacation, when I can truly immerse myself in a novel, and settle for reading comics during the university period due to my anxiety “glitching” my attention span.
9. What are your defense mechanisms?
Sometimes people don’t realize what their true defense mechanisms are because they are working at 100% efficiency. You may have to really think about this one.
Another way to look at the question:
When you start to feel uncomfortable or anxious about a situation, what do you generally start to do?
Denial, hardening oneself, perfectionism, avoidance of human contact, procrastination, occasional self-loathing, being fidgety, intellectualizing my feelings and repressing my anger and frustration. Gotta catch 'em all!
10. What are some good habits that are needed for living a healthy adult life?
Leisure time, exercise (ugh), having supportive friends, finding a hobby you are passionate about (or, less dramatically, find fascinating/enthralling) and being diligent about your work, I suppose.
11. What are you like in relaxed and non-threatening situations?
I'm warmer, more eager to share my thoughts, a bit clingier, less afraid, a bit less neurotic and more tolerant of my natural sensitivity.
12. What does your heart feel like it needs and wants?
Acceptance. Lasting friendships. Less feelings of inferiority. To find my identity and my role - I want to feel less like a sick child that inspires pity and feels useless. Some time alone for reverie without people asking if I’m sad.
13. What condition is your heart in right now?
It's kind of "rolling with it" right now... Feeling a bit trapped by my self-criticism and my rationalizations.
14. What does your head say it needs and wants?
To find a niche, to be useful for something. To read more. It wants me to get ready for the dread of adulthood, so to speak. It needs to make sure I know enough not to spend the rest of my days in a box in an alleyway.
15. What condition is your mind in right now?
It's being a bit passive-aggressive, a silent klaxon flashing my anxiety about the future. I must be strong and work hard, or I'll be toast, it warns me.
16. What does your body say it needs and wants?
My back begs for a better posture. My face wonders when the oil refinery in my epidermis will shut down. My skinny arms want me to eat more and healthier, I suppose. The thing as a whole wants me to keep my exercise routine and wants to be less shaky during driver's ed.
17. What is the condition of your body right now?
Pretty decent, though my sebaceous forehead makes me feel a bit polluted.
18. Which do you trust the most in making an important decision between your head, body, and heart? Why?
When it's a very important decision, my head. I don't want to stumble and fall majorly because I "felt like doing" something. I try to put some heart into my daily life, though.
19. Which do you trust the least in making an important decision between your head, body, and heart? Why?
Body, I suppose. I'm a bit detached from it. Mostly, it sits back and makes monosyllabic comments.
20. What is your predominant fault?
I'd say I have quite a few of them, so it's hard to say which one is predominant... Let's say either my bottled anger (which soon becomes bitterness), my constant neurosis, my insecurity or my reticence/isolation.
21. Think of a time when you felt at ease and connected to yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
It felt pretty damn nice... The world seemed to have quite a lot of people who were friendly and caring, I felt like I could approach them and, when I did, I could build something that lasted. I felt more free to share my thoughts and I felt more competent and knowledgeable.
22. Think of a time when you felt anxious and disconnected from yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
I felt the silent yet merciless judgement of others' eyes stinging my soul... The world seemed like a hybrid of maze and courtroom, everything I made became another reason to feel shame. If I couldn't prove I was not worthless, I might as well be dead and buried. I wasn't suicidal or anything, but death seemed like an alluring escape valve to make the sound of the gavel cease. "A bad son. A bad student. A bad networker. A lazybones. Do I really deserve to be alive? Do I want to be, now that I realize what a load, what a pathetic creature I am?"
And it seemed so big – someone with few social skills like me could easily feel safer in his room, safe from the deluge of life and the judgement of my peers...
23. What is an addiction or urge that seems to drive you as almost as if you’re not in control? Almost like an alien force that drives or pushes you down.
My need to win approval and avoid disappointment (both to others and myself)... I can be guilt-tripped with relative ease. Also, my need for solitude, which has led me to become pretty much disconnected from the social scene.
24. What things do you feel you cannot do because they might jeopardize your survival?
Example: “I can not express my feelings, because I feel like I need to be cool, calm, and collected to survive.”
“I have to be right. I can not afford to be wrong.”
I sometimes feel like I can't fail, like I can't let concrete proof of my incompetence exist... I also feel like I need to be cautious and diligent, though I'm better at the former than at the latter.
25. What do you need in your life to face your fears?
I need the support of those I care about, and I need to know there is still going to be dry land to return to when I dive into the shark pool - my den, my belongings, and the people whose company I enjoy greatly. I also need time to think, to understand what I’m getting myself into.
26. What is your own personal mission statement?
“The kind of person I would like to be ____.”
“The kind of activities I would like to be in ______.”
“My personal mission is to ______.”
I want to be a nice person and a good friend. I want to be wise, but not arrogant. My personal mission is to be worthy of love, and to make possible friends feel worthy of love as well, without sacrificing my personal space. I want to be tolerant, respectful with people. I want to be able to show I care.
I liked this list, though it's a bit lacking when it comes to behavioral patterns, IMO. In any case, feel free to ask if you guys have any questions!
Thanks in advance.