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My answers to Limit's questionnaire

G

Glycerine

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Funny, I thought Fi users were all about "avoiding influencing others"... :huh:

It really depends on the intent. Whether or not one tries influence others and on what sorts of things is more dependent the person's values I would say. One of the most controlling people I know in trying to influence people is Fi dom ("everybody needs to be happy and I need fix their problems in order to be happy myself" but on the positive side, she's the most well-meaning person I know) and the least controlling person is also an Fi dom (very laissez faire). :biggrin:
 
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Vizzy

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5w4
Good question. I suppose I have a few convergent reasons:

* My dad is one of those "Everything I do, I do for you" types. And he goes all :cry: :dont: whenever you argue with him. Mind you, he can argue with others, although he won't yell or anything (unless in traffic ;)). I feel kinda guilty arguing with someone who feeds and clothes me... :unsure: (I feel more comfortable disagreeing with my mom, since she can take it. :))

* I'm sensitive to other people's opinions, especially academic ones, so I try not to "impose" myself too much... It's a Golden Rule thing, you know?

* I want to be liked and to respect people's personal space.

* I want to avoid scrutiny or embarassment, and withholding my opinion is a way of doing so.

* I don't really think I've got that much interesting or insightful stuff to say, at least academically. :shrug:

* I sometimes fear that any disagreement with people I like will result in them deciding they don't want to be around me anymore. Nutty, I know. :(

* Fearing the consequences of revealing my feelings and thoughts.

* Not being able to articulate myself very well.

Does that help, Vizzy?
In my opinion, that shouts 9. You clearly avoid making waves or creating any sort of disturbance - as if your inner stability depends on it. You wouldn't risk this peace with others for anything else - even if it meant not being seen as unique or significant. Does that sound right?
I think a 4 would strive for specialness and personal-significance first - even (probably especially) if it meant disapproval from others.

Well, that's my attempt to differentiate 4 and 9, at least.
 
A

Anew Leaf

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From the website:

4 vs. 1

Focus on feelings = Focus on duties {Well, more like "Focus on private interests"... ;)}

Self-indulgent = Self-denying {I don't indulge that much in my moods, but I enjoy my personal space}

Withdrawing from people > Pushing people

Whimsical < Disciplined {Despite being a bit of a lazy bum :D}

Changeable < Constant

Self-centered = Principled {Kind of a biased question here...}

Emotionally expressive < Emotionally constrained

Empathetic > Judgmental {Ditto}

4 vs. 9

Intense = Disengaged {Subtly intense but also kind of mellow? More neurotic than anything...}

Idealize fantasies > Idealize reality

Negative = Positive {Neither in particular, but I have my moments of slight despair...}

Explore pain = Deny pain {Wallow privately in pain but also don't sulk that much?}

Identify with emotions = Detach from emotions {I seem more stoic/disengaged that I am, I guess}

Pessimistic = Optimistic {Again, neither in particular}

Conflictual < Avoid conflict

Misfit > Merges with others

Dark side = Bright side {Again, neither}

Authentic < Submissive {Though not entirely}

Moody = Easy-going {Slightly bitter/neurotic but overall level-headed}

You're a 9.
 

Viridian

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In my opinion, that shouts 9. You clearly avoid making waves or creating any sort of disturbance - as if your inner stability depends on it. You wouldn't risk this peace with others for anything else - even if it meant not being seen as unique or significant. Does that sound right?
I think a 4 would strive for specialness and personal-significance first - even (probably especially) if it meant disapproval from others.

Well, that's my attempt to differentiate 4 and 9, at least.

That's what I thought, although I think that applies more to 4w3s in particular.

Do you suppose my answers could also indicate 6 or perhaps 1? :thinking:
 

Silveresque

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That's what I thought, although I think that applies more to 4w3s in particular.

Do you suppose my answers could also indicate 6 or perhaps 1? :thinking:

1's are perfectionists who get critical of themselves and others. 9's are more likely to critical of themselves (self-effacing) but not others. 9's disintegrate to 6, so an average to unhealthy 9 could seem like a 6. Here's a thread that shows some differences between 6 and 9: http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-28686.html.
 

Viridian

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1's are perfectionists who get critical of themselves and others. 9's are more likely to critical of themselves (self-effacing) but not others. 9's disintegrate to 6, so an average to unhealthy 9 could seem like a 6. Here's a thread that shows some differences between 6 and 9: http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-28686.html.

Lessee...

9 vs 6: Nines see sixes are too wound up and need to chill out while sixes see nines as asleep. Nines have much more elastic cognition. Effective communication isn't as important to nines as it is to sixes who need things to be spelled out. Nines are comfortable letting things happen on their own while sixes notice what can go wrong. Sixes being reactive types find it much harder to shield their annoyance from others. When nines feel smaller than their internal resources to deal with a situation, they get to a "what's the point anymore?" paralysis. Sixes lack the presumption of nines.

Sounds like an even split... Maybe I can call myself an ISFJ 9w1 for now, but keep the "IxFx" label? You guys OK with that?
 
G

Glycerine

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You don't strike me as a 6 at all. The "wound-up" aspect could be the J talking because the Js nature is to like closure. :happy2: As much I try to be "laid-back", part of me always craves some sort of closure.
 
A

Anew Leaf

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Lessee...



Sounds like an even split... Maybe I can call myself an ISFJ 9w1 for now, but keep the "IxFx" label? You guys OK with that?

I don't know if this is intentional, but it's hilarious.
 

Viridian

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I don't know if this is intentional, but it's hilarious.

Hah! :D It wasn't. I just kinda picture the other forumers in this thread as the Monty Python God saying "GET ON WITH IT!"*. No offense, it's just Viridian-O-Vision. :hug:

*Justifiably... Christ almighty, I think this is the longest type thread in this subforum. :doh:
 

Silveresque

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I found this on the Enneagram Institute site:

Misidentifying Sixes and Nines

These types are actually frequent mistyped. Sixes and Nines are both concerned with security and with maintaining some kind of status quo situation. They are both family-oriented, and both tend to take modest views of themselves. Their affect, however, is the easiest way to distinguish them.

In short, Nines like to remain easy-going and unflappable. Nines work steadily at their tasks, but show little sign of being upset by the day's ups and downs. Sixes, on the other hand, cannot easily disguise their feelings. They get more easily worked-up and rattled by mishaps. While Nines can remain silent within their own inner peace, Sixes need to vent with others periodically to discharge their fears and doubts. Sixes are more obviously nervous and defensive when they believe there are problems. Nines remain strangely bland in the face of problems, although beneath the pleasant surface of average Nines, there is stubborn resistance and an unwillingness to be upset or troubled by conflicts or problems. Sixes tend to be suspicious of unknown people and situations–they need to test people before they let them get close. Nines may be protected by the disengagement of their attention, but they tend to be trusting of others–almost to a fault.

Of course, under stress, when moving in their Direction of Disintegration, Nines will begin to act out some of the behaviors of average Sixes, and for this reason, some Nines will mistype themselves as Sixes. But such periods of overt anxiety generally do not last long. As soon as possible, Nines revert to their more easy going approach to things. Compare Sixes George Bush and Dustin Hoffman with Nines Gerald Ford and Jimmy Stewart.

Does this help at all?
 

Viridian

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I found this on the Enneagram Institute site:

Misidentifying Sixes and Nines

These types are actually frequent mistyped. Sixes and Nines are both concerned with security and with maintaining some kind of status quo situation. They are both family-oriented, and both tend to take modest views of themselves. Their affect, however, is the easiest way to distinguish them.

In short, Nines like to remain easy-going and unflappable. Nines work steadily at their tasks, but show little sign of being upset by the day's ups and downs. Sixes, on the other hand, cannot easily disguise their feelings. They get more easily worked-up and rattled by mishaps. While Nines can remain silent within their own inner peace, Sixes need to vent with others periodically to discharge their fears and doubts. Sixes are more obviously nervous and defensive when they believe there are problems. Nines remain strangely bland in the face of problems, although beneath the pleasant surface of average Nines, there is stubborn resistance and an unwillingness to be upset or troubled by conflicts or problems. Sixes tend to be suspicious of unknown people and situations–they need to test people before they let them get close. Nines may be protected by the disengagement of their attention, but they tend to be trusting of others–almost to a fault.

Of course, under stress, when moving in their Direction of Disintegration, Nines will begin to act out some of the behaviors of average Sixes, and for this reason, some Nines will mistype themselves as Sixes. But such periods of overt anxiety generally do not last long. As soon as possible, Nines revert to their more easy going approach to things. Compare Sixes George Bush and Dustin Hoffman with Nines Gerald Ford and Jimmy Stewart.

Does this help at all?

Thanks!

Hmmmm... Well, I usually appear kind of stoic - like in the funeral situation - but overall I think others can perceive when I'm annoyed or angry, or when I'm stiffling laughter (or maybe it's just those close to me).

I kind of neither trust or mistrust others - I'm cautious and skittish, but I also don't go out of my way to project ill will towards people (except maybe for thinking stuff like, "They probably see me as a fifth wheel... :emot-emo:").

I get kinda rattled when there are problems or snags, though I don't usually explode (I dislike acting irrationally for fear of embarassment); I can be kind of avoidant, though, like when there's a baggar in the front gate ringing our doorbell (well, intercom) - then, if I'm alone in the house, I kinda get out of his field of vision until he leaves. I'm a scrooge like that. :blush:
 

Viridian

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Uh, I've asked some people this before, but... Do you peeps have a hunch about my instinctual subtype? :thinking:
 

Silveresque

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Thanks!

Hmmmm... Well, I usually appear kind of stoic - like in the funeral situation - but overall I think others can perceive when I'm annoyed or angry, or when I'm stiffling laughter (or maybe it's just those close to me).

I kind of neither trust or mistrust others - I'm cautious and skittish, but I also don't go out of my way to project ill will towards people (except maybe for thinking stuff like, "They probably see me as a fifth wheel... :emot-emo:").

I get kinda rattled when there are problems or snags, though I don't usually explode (I dislike acting irrationally for fear of embarassment); I can be kind of avoidant, though, like when there's a baggar in the front gate ringing our doorbell (well, intercom) - then, if I'm alone in the house, I kinda get out of his field of vision until he leaves. I'm a scrooge like that. :blush:

How about this one from amberheadlights on Personality Cafe:
Sixes and nines

Sixes and nines can seem similar since six is the stress point of nine, and nine is the security point of six. In general, sixes' relationships to others are more complicated and ambivalent, full of contradictions with a lot of push/pull as they struggle with their desire to be secure and their desire to be independent. Nines are more directly accommodating, and while they may have some hidden resentments due to unexpressed frustrations, don't tend to present the contradictory picture or run hot and cold the way sixes do. Both types can be passive-aggressive but in different ways. For nines, passive-aggressiveness is a way out of something they don't want to do. They can become forgetful and procrastinating of obligations they don't want to fulfill. Sixes passive-aggressiveness has a more hostile flair to it, manifesting in caustic remarks and, occasionally, gossip. When upset, sixes tend not to be very good at hiding their negative feelings. Nines tend to present a more pleasant, diplomatic, if uninvolved face to the world.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
Also, observing other posters can help clue you in a bit... like if you resonate with the posters of said enneagram type.... that's how I pinpointed my type along with carefully analyzing the descriptions. It would really help if you could get someone that knows you really well read the descriptions. We can get hyperaware of certain aspects of ourselves that we lose sight of our overall demeanor. I kept thinking "6 fits me but I didn't want to admit it" so I had someone read it and they said no to 90% of it and said yes to most of the 5 descriptions. Also, I think online can exaggerate certain aspects of our personality so the forum members don't really get the full picture.

Saying that, I can't see anything but 9 for you.
 

Viridian

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How about this one from amberheadlights on Personality Cafe:

Well, regarding the description, I guess I have a bit of a conflicted relationship with people, although I'm usually conflict-avoidant. My main problem in interpersonal relationships is taking stuff a bit too seriously - I get upset at light-hearted jokes at my expense, I keep wondering whether people like me or are just being nice out of kindness/pity, I blush at stuff I consider a rejection of my tastes or personality, I feel slightly ashamed if I don't correspond to their expectations... Is it any wonder I have no social life? :laugh:

As for passive-agressiveness, in my case it "shows up" as being ambiguous or curt, overly "Spock-ish" or aloof.

Also, observing other posters can help clue you in a bit... like if you resonate with the posters of said enneagram type.... that's how I pinpointed my type along with carefully analyzing the descriptions. It would really help if you could get someone that knows you really well read the descriptions. We can get hyperaware of certain aspects of ourselves that we lose sight of our overall demeanor. I kept thinking "6 fits me but I didn't want to admit it" so I had someone read it and they said no to 90% of it and said yes to most of the 5 descriptions. Also, I think online can exaggerate certain aspects of our personality so the forum members don't really get the full picture.

Saying that, I can't see anything but 9 for you.

Not too long ago, I sent a few descriptions to my mom... I got 5 as a frequent result, followed by 1, 9, 6 and 4, IIRC.

As an aside, my new post-driver's ed driving assistant is likely a 9w1... He's got a tone of voice that makes him sound like a psychologist (which he is), a pedagogue or a children's show host. :wink: I sound quite aloof/reserved when compared to him, I think. :thinking:
 
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Glycerine

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Do you think you will eventually settle on an answer? You seem to be reluctant to settle on anything like it's going to define you.
 

Vizzy

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I doubt this needs to be mentioned and I’m sure it already has, but everyone can identify with something from each of the Enneagram types.
How sure do you need to be before you decide? 70%? 90%? It seems even 99% wouldn't convince you. Are you expecting a description that reads as if it was your biography? Please don't mistake this as annoyance as it doesn't really matter to me personally whether or not you settle on a type. I actually find this all quite entertaining.
I'm honestly just curious as to why you can't.
Is there a reason you don't want to be a 9?
 

Viridian

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Do you think you will eventually settle on an answer? You seem to be reluctant to settle on anything like it's going to define you.

Well, I hope I do, though, of course, I don't want people to define me solely by it. :) I'm reluctant due to a certain perfectionism of mine - there was this person, for instance, that kept posting in a "You know you're an INFJ when..." thread and later wondered if s/he was an INFP; point is, I don't want to end up speaking for any type but my own. ;)

I doubt this needs to be mentioned and I’m sure it already has, but everyone can identify with something from each of the Enneagram types.
How sure do you need to be before you decide? 70%? 90%? It seems even 99% wouldn't convince you. Are you expecting a description that reads as if it was your biography? Please don't mistake this as annoyance as it doesn't really matter to me personally whether or not you settle on a type. I actually find this all quite entertaining.
I'm honestly just curious as to why you can't.
Is there a reason you don't want to be a 9?

Ach, I'm sorry for all this waffling, Viz. :doh: I'm at that moment in my life where I begin to wonder about my strenghts, my values, my goals, my identity as a whole... It's a tad disorientating. :(

I have some trouble with the 9 descriptions due to not being nearly as easygoing or optimistic as the profiles seem to describe them. It could just be the insecurity of pre-adulthood, though. :shrug:
 

Vizzy

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Ach, I'm sorry for all this waffling, Viz. :doh: I'm at that moment in my life where I begin to wonder about my strenghts, my values, my goals, my identity as a whole... It's a tad disorientating. :(

I have some trouble with the 9 descriptions due to not being nearly as easygoing or optimistic as the profiles seem to describe them. It could just be the insecurity of pre-adulthood, though. :shrug:
Like I said, I'm not annoyed at any of this so don't feel the need to apologise. ;)

Needless to say, you can't simplify your own complex personality to fit "perfectly" with any one type.
And secondly, each of those 9 types are more complex than you seem give them credit for. The 9 "Peacemaker" is not always easygoing. I'm a 5. You might think we're all about detachment and observation. I avoid relationships and the slightest sign of interest from someone scares me. In actuality, I'm intrigued by relationships and can spend endless hours fantasizing, researching and observing. Deep down, I probably want to participate...but I don't think I'm competent/good enough and can't risk it. I'm not prepared. It's safer to not be involved. There will be times when I challenge myself and take part in something I've only just ever thought about. You'd think I was acting out-of-character when, in actuality, I'm still very much in-character.

The Enneagram Institute does a better job at explaining my point here:

...types are easily confused when they are thought of as narrow entities—as if Nines, for example, were always peaceful and serene. If this is our idea of Nines, then when we encounter someone who is occasionally irritable or aggressive, we may automatically conclude that the person cannot be a Nine. While peacefulness and serenity are two of the principal traits of healthy Nines, there are also times when Nines can be angry, aggressive, and anxious. However, they virtually always think of themselves as peaceful and return to various forms of peacefulness (for instance, passivity and complacency) as their "home base." And just as important, when Nines are aggressive, angry, or anxious, they manifest these traits in distinctively "Nine-ish" ways. For example, they express anger as a "coolness" toward the person they are angry with—while denying that they are at all angry. Even rather severe outbursts of aggression can erupt suddenly and subside quickly. To make subtle distinctions such as these, we must learn to discern the overall style and motivations for each type rather than see individual traits in isolation.
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/misid/
 

Silveresque

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As an aside, my new post-driver's ed driving assistant is likely a 9w1... He's got a tone of voice that makes him sound like a psychologist (which he is), a pedagogue or a children's show host. :wink: I sound quite aloof/reserved when compared to him, I think. :thinking:

Maybe he's a different variant than you? He could be So or Sx and you could be Sp, which would make you more reserved. Don't rule out the possibility of being a 9 based on this alone.

Well, I hope I do, though, of course, I don't want people to define me solely by it. :) I'm reluctant due to a certain perfectionism of mine - there was this person, for instance, that kept posting in a "You know you're an INFJ when..." thread and later wondered if s/he was an INFP; point is, I don't want to end up speaking for any type but my own. ;)

Haha, I've done this way too many times. :( It's not so bad though.

Anyways, something else I'd like to mention is that as a 9, I tend to take in a lot of other identities and roles that aren't necessarily me. I've always thought of myself as intellectual, but that's not really natural for me, it's more forced. And I don't really have to unique/individualist, although I would like to be. But something I absolutely must be, that's completely me, is that I must be pleasant and nice. That's something about me that I could probably never change, even if I wanted to. So while I could maybe pass off as a 4 or a 5, it's not the real me, it's would just be something I'm pushing myself to be.
 
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