I would say, just try a type on for size..... interact with people of similar types. If you can't relate to them on a basic level, then try on a different type.
Here's my story, I first picked INFJ and eventually thought I was trying way too hard to force Ni dominance on myself so ENFJ seemed the best fit because I have also had a strong Fe perspective tempered with Ni. I related to the other ENFJs at a very basic level but knew I was a bit odd so I tried on different enneagram types. The 9's seemed a lot more mellow/ laidback than I so it didn't really fit. Then I tried 3 but I realized that I am not very achievement oriented and I only somewhat care about my image. Then I tried six but I realized I hardly prepare for much and only truly fix problems as they arise and that my chronic sleep deprivation was exaggerating my paranoia and anxiety about things. At the end, I arrived at the conclusion that I was 5 because of the detachment thing and always needing a ton of information before deciding on anything. Also, I just really related to many of the INTXs posts even through my different way of processing information more than many of the XNFJs. I actually typed myself as INTP for a week. LOL
It will take time.... step back and see the full picture.