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  1. #221
    Glycerine
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    I would say, just try a type on for size..... interact with people of similar types. If you can't relate to them on a basic level, then try on a different type.

    Here's my story, I first picked INFJ and eventually thought I was trying way too hard to force Ni dominance on myself so ENFJ seemed the best fit because I have also had a strong Fe perspective tempered with Ni. I related to the other ENFJs at a very basic level but knew I was a bit odd so I tried on different enneagram types. The 9's seemed a lot more mellow/ laidback than I so it didn't really fit. Then I tried 3 but I realized that I am not very achievement oriented and I only somewhat care about my image. Then I tried six but I realized I hardly prepare for much and only truly fix problems as they arise and that my chronic sleep deprivation was exaggerating my paranoia and anxiety about things. At the end, I arrived at the conclusion that I was 5 because of the detachment thing and always needing a ton of information before deciding on anything. Also, I just really related to many of the INTXs posts even through my different way of processing information more than many of the XNFJs. I actually typed myself as INTP for a week. LOL

    It will take time.... step back and see the full picture.

  2. #222
    Anew Leaf
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    I agree with @Glycerine. Try something on and go with it. There are plenty of people here who change their types on an hourly basis.

    Look at:
    • ISFJ
    • ISFP
    • e9


    I am officially done with the thread for now. I think you have enough information to start pulling together ideas.

  3. #223
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vizzy View Post
    Like I said, I'm not annoyed at any of this so don't feel the need to apologise.

    Needless to say, you can't simplify your own complex personality to fit "perfectly" with any one type.
    And secondly, each of those 9 types are more complex than you seem give them credit for. The 9 "Peacemaker" is not always easygoing. I'm a 5. You might think we're all about detachment and observation. I avoid relationships and the slightest sign of interest from someone scares me. In actuality, I'm intrigued by relationships and can spend endless hours fantasizing, researching and observing. Deep down, I probably want to participate...but I don't think I'm competent/good enough and can't risk it. I'm not prepared. It's safer to not be involved. There will be times when I challenge myself and take part in something I've only just ever thought about. You'd think I was acting out-of-character when, in actuality, I'm still very much in-character.

    The Enneagram Institute does a better job at explaining my point here:


    http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/misid/
    Funny, that sounds a lot like the standard Five description, including growth/development; I wouldn't say you're atypical, frankly. In any case, I understand what you're saying - though I do consider myself more "neurotic" than "easygoing". But I digress, sir.

    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    Maybe he's a different variant than you? He could be So or Sx and you could be Sp, which would make you more reserved. Don't rule out the possibility of being a 9 based on this alone.
    That's possible - So/Sx for him comes to mind. However, descriptions tend to paint Sp-doms as the most easygoing of the Nines, which makes me doubtful.

    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    Haha, I've done this way too many times. It's not so bad though.

    Anyways, something else I'd like to mention is that as a 9, I tend to take in a lot of other identities and roles that aren't necessarily me. I've always thought of myself as intellectual, but that's not really natural for me, it's more forced. And I don't really have to unique/individualist, although I would like to be. But something I absolutely must be, that's completely me, is that I must be pleasant and nice. That's something about me that I could probably never change, even if I wanted to. So while I could maybe pass off as a 4 or a 5, it's not the real me, it's would just be something I'm pushing myself to be.
    That's a very good point. I can see arguments for and against such a tendency in myself...

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I agree with @Glycerine. Try something on and go with it. There are plenty of people here who change their types on an hourly basis.

    Look at:
    • ISFJ
    • ISFP
    • e9


    I am officially done with the thread for now. I think you have enough information to start pulling together ideas.
    I had enough info about sixteen pages ago, I think, but I'm a stubborn lil' bugger. Thanks for everything.

  4. #224
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    How about you make a list of everything you claim to be or would describe yourself as, and for each thing decide whether it's forced or natural? That's what I did, and it worked for me. It's interesting how many misconceptions I can develop about myself, and kind of liberating to be free of those misconceptions.

  5. #225
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    How about you make a list of everything you claim to be or would describe yourself as, and for each thing decide whether it's forced or natural? That's what I did, and it worked for me. It's interesting how many misconceptions I can develop about myself, and kind of liberating to be free of those misconceptions.
    Oooh, interesting!

    I would describe myself as...

    * Intellectual? --> A bit forced, especially nowadays, when university emphasizes debate and iconoclasm (my U, anyway). While I'm not a Harlequin junkie or anything, I think there are several "rabbit holes" that I don't feel as comfortable entering as some of my colleagues. Debate is a very weak point of mine. I also like fiction.

    * Bookish? --> Not forced per se, but I'm far from a voracious bookworm. I need some peace of mind to read properly, and sometimes I think I kind of "try too hard" to understand a book (and feel ashamed when I don't). Also, looks like reading manga = -100 bibliophilia points.

    * Shy? --> In some situations more than others. I usually shrink when facing people who are wise, or intelligent, or "important", or busy... People who are too extroverted or too standoffish have a similar effect. I also fear embarassment a lot.

    * Kind/polite? --> I do my best to be nice to people, but sometimes my suppressed anger is palpable, and I get pretty annoyed at people who don't respect my boundaries... I can also be overly formal at times.

    * Patient? --> Generally, yes; however, it's partly a kind of repression ("See? I have the stamina to do this! I'm totally not a worthless lump! "). I'm naturally inclined to wait for a bit, although extraneous factors (heat, cold, fatigue, running out of time) can make me prickly.

    * Quiet? --> Yeah, most of the time, though I get very upset when I want to talk and people keep interrupting me.

    * Thoughtful? --> ...Kinda. Sometimes I think about my values, my feelings, my actions, etc. And sometimes I simply let video game music loop in my head or think about the MBTI type of manga characters.

    * Anxious? --> Less so when I'm alone, but social situations or human interaction can get me pretty nervous. I'm not exactly manic either, but sometimes the feeling of wanting to crawl into a hole is strong.

    * Tolerant/passive? --> Partly repression, I think. Either I think my thoughts are foolish and unwarranted, or I think no one's gonna listen to me anyway. I sometimes wish I could do this more often:



    Or maybe I don't have a strong preference either way. It varies.

    * Melancholy? --> Yes, but I try not to let it bring everyone down (results may vary). It's less "Life is sooo painful!!!" and more "I don't know what to believe anymore...".

    * Loyal? --> I want to be, but I don't know if I could "go into the trenches" for someone... I don't want to be a fair-weather friend, but I also can't deny the fact that I'm pretty damn cowardly.

    * Rigid? --> Pretty true. My dad calls me that, in any case, because I insist on doing some things by the book (either my book or someone else's). I also have a bit of OCD, I think. I can get icy when under stress.

    Does that clarify a few things?
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  6. #226
    Glycerine
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    Some of those things could be accounted for by your MBTI type and just some unique quirks outside of theory. You are obviously going be a a bit different from an INFP 9, ESFP 9, INTJ 9, etc. I will stop pestering you now!

  7. #227
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    * Kind/polite? --> I do my best to be nice to people, but sometimes my suppressed anger is palpable, and I get pretty annoyed at people who don't respect my boundaries... I can also be overly formal at times.
    You are so 9, especially with this bit here. I think you might as well accept it and make it official, and if you happen to decide on a different type later, so be it. Go ahead and claim your type!

  8. #228
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    You are so 9, especially with this bit here. I think you might as well accept it and make it official, and if you happen to decide on a different type later, so be it. Go ahead and claim your type!
    Could you elaborate here? The repressing (which is pretty conscious, mind you) seems a bit 1w9-ish as I described it here specifically, I think...

    Oh geez, I'm doing it again... If I waffle any more, I'm going to be exiled to Belgium!
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  9. #229
    Senior Member Vizzy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Funny, that sounds a lot like the standard Five description, including growth/development; I wouldn't say you're atypical, frankly. In any case, I understand what you're saying - though I do consider myself more "neurotic" than "easygoing". But I digress, sir.
    That's the thing - I didn't and wasn't trying to say I was atypical. You misunderstood that part. My point was that everyone of every type is more than their superficial description/image.
    5w4
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  10. #230
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Could you elaborate here? The repressing (which is pretty conscious, mind you) seems a bit 1w9-ish as I described it here specifically, I think...
    9's are all about repressing their negative emotions. Especially anger. We want to escape into "premature Buddhahood" instead of dealing with our negative emotions, so we repress them into our subconscious. We're also masters at the art of self-deception. We do the repressing so well, in fact, that we're often not aware we're doing it. We're like emotion-repressing self-deception ninjas. Many 9's have a lot of repressed anger that they aren't even aware of due to self-deception, though an Sx 9 is probably more likely to be aware of it.

    Here's how I picture it:

    "Anger is bad" --> "I don't want to be bad" --> "I will never get angry" (repression) --> "I have no anger" (self-deception)

    And that part of your response that I quoted before really reminds me of this:
    Self-pres/Sexual

    This subtype is self-effacing also, but is generally more assertive. They may be the subtype of Nine which is most aware of the boundaries between themselves and others and at the same time, possibly the most frustrated when those boundaries are violated. They can be aware of being walked over and they might even be aware of the anger it causes, but they become frustrated with their seeming inability to control this pattern. This is true, to some degree, of all Nines, but with the self-pres/sexual instinctual stacking, there seems to be a complex and interesting balance between the withdrawing energy caused by the dominant self-pres instinct and the assertive energy of the sexual instinct. This combination seems to raise consciousness of this dynamic.

    Getting healthy for this subtype, and for all Nines, involves becoming aware of this dynamic and realizing they do have the power to control their boundaries. Part of this must come from the realization on the part of the Nine that they have invited this overstepping of their boundaries from others by not defining them.
    Close relationships will usually work or not for this subtype depending on how well they deal with this issue.

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