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  1. #191
    Senior Member Vizzy's Avatar
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    All this talk about "numbing negative feelings", "not taking the initiative to be heard" and being "emotionally disconnected" - everybody does these things now and then. These are just ways a person deals with whatever the core issue is.
    If you numb negative feelings, why do you do it? What are you afraid of?
    When you do have trouble vocalizing what you want, what tends to be the reason?
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  2. #192
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vizzy View Post
    All this talk about "numbing negative feelings", "not taking the initiative to be heard" and being "emotionally disconnected" - everybody does these things now and then. These are just ways a person deals with whatever the core issue is.
    If you numb negative feelings, why do you do it? What are you afraid of?
    When you do have trouble vocalizing what you want, what tends to be the reason?
    Good question. I suppose I have a few convergent reasons:

    * My dad is one of those "Everything I do, I do for you" types. And he goes all whenever you argue with him. Mind you, he can argue with others, although he won't yell or anything (unless in traffic ). I feel kinda guilty arguing with someone who feeds and clothes me... (I feel more comfortable disagreeing with my mom, since she can take it. )

    * I'm sensitive to other people's opinions, especially academic ones, so I try not to "impose" myself too much... It's a Golden Rule thing, you know?

    * I want to be liked and to respect people's personal space.

    * I want to avoid scrutiny or embarassment, and withholding my opinion is a way of doing so.

    * I don't really think I've got that much interesting or insightful stuff to say, at least academically.

    * I sometimes fear that any disagreement with people I like will result in them deciding they don't want to be around me anymore. Nutty, I know.

    * Fearing the consequences of revealing my feelings and thoughts.

    * Not being able to articulate myself very well.

    Does that help, Vizzy?

  3. #193
    Anew Leaf
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    ISFJ and some kind of 9.

    The impression I get from you is that you have an image in your head of what type/persona you wish you were, and you are trying to fit yourself into that mold. Whereas what you should be doing is simply seeing yourself for who you are and accepting who that person is.

    Everyone eventually goes through the looking glass. It's really not so bad on this side.

  4. #194
    Glycerine
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    yes ISFJ 9w1 or 1w9 seems the most likely. The 9 and Fe seems very apparent to me because the timidness of not wanting to offend others... you try your best not to cause conflict and immediately try to remedy it if think you have offended folks based off many of your posts. That's my impression.

  5. #195
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    I think 9 is a strong possibility, though I'm not fully convinced yet. If agreeableness and holding back your opinion were all it takes to be a 9, that would make me a 9 as well. I think it's still worth considering 4, especially since you can relate to enjoying melancholy and wanting to understand yourself. Those both point to 4 and make 9 seem less likely. And about the MBTI type, I don't think the function test is all that accurate, so I would agree that ISFJ still seems like a strong possibility.

  6. #196
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    I think 9 is a strong possibility, though I'm not fully convinced yet. If agreeableness and holding back your opinion were all it takes to be a 9, that would make me a 9 as well. I think it's still worth considering 4, especially since you can relate to enjoying melancholy and wanting to understand yourself. Those both point to 4 and make 9 seem less likely. And about the MBTI type, I don't think the function test is all that accurate, so I would agree that ISFJ still seems like a strong possibility.
    1. My mom is 9w1(she verified it) loves watching movies about heart-renching/inspirational stories...enjoying melancholy is not exclusive to 4. If it is melancholy as an overall disposition, then yes probably.

    2. Wanting to understand one's self does not indicate 4ness necessarily.

  7. #197
    Glycerine
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    This could be a good starting point.




    http://pstypes.blogspot.com/2009/04/...ns-type-4.html

  8. #198
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    ISFJ and some kind of 9.

    The impression I get from you is that you have an image in your head of what type/persona you wish you were, and you are trying to fit yourself into that mold. Whereas what you should be doing is simply seeing yourself for who you are and accepting who that person is.

    Everyone eventually goes through the looking glass. It's really not so bad on this side.
    Could be, though I was considered withdrawn and bookish way before university... There was this time when, during recess, two of my classmates started making out in the nearly-empty classroom, and I just sat there reading, like nothing was happening. Where's that dang Fe when I need it?

    Also, thank you very much for our chat the other day, Sat.


    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    yes ISFJ 9w1 or 1w9 seems the most likely. The 9 and Fe seems very apparent to me because the timidness of not wanting to offend others... you try your best not to cause conflict and immediately try to remedy it if think you have offended folks based off many of your posts. That's my impression.
    Funny, I thought Fi users were all about "avoiding influencing others"...

    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    I think 9 is a strong possibility, though I'm not fully convinced yet. If agreeableness and holding back your opinion were all it takes to be a 9, that would make me a 9 as well. I think it's still worth considering 4, especially since you can relate to enjoying melancholy and wanting to understand yourself. Those both point to 4 and make 9 seem less likely. And about the MBTI type, I don't think the function test is all that accurate, so I would agree that ISFJ still seems like a strong possibility.
    I'll get to the Four description either tonight or tomorrow.

    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    This could be a good starting point.




    http://pstypes.blogspot.com/2009/04/...ns-type-4.html
    I'll check it out, thanks!

  9. #199
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Could be, though I was considered withdrawn and bookish way before university... There was this time when, during recess, two of my classmates started making out in the nearly-empty classroom, and I just sat there reading, like nothing was happening. Where's that dang Fe when I need it?

    Also, thank you very much for our chat the other day, Sat.



    Funny, I thought Fi users were all about "avoiding influencing others"...



    I'll get to the Four description either tonight or tomorrow.



    I'll check it out, thanks!
    I am not sure how this excludes you from being an ISFJ... I would say withdrawn is an attribute of being an introvert... and anyone can be bookish... not just INXX types. I have some E friends who are "bookish" and can get lost in books for hours at a time as well.

    And you are welcome.

  10. #200
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    From the website:

    4 vs. 1

    Focus on feelings = Focus on duties {Well, more like "Focus on private interests"... }

    Self-indulgent = Self-denying {I don't indulge that much in my moods, but I enjoy my personal space}

    Withdrawing from people > Pushing people

    Whimsical < Disciplined {Despite being a bit of a lazy bum }

    Changeable < Constant

    Self-centered = Principled {Kind of a biased question here...}

    Emotionally expressive < Emotionally constrained

    Empathetic > Judgmental {Ditto}

    4 vs. 9

    Intense = Disengaged {Subtly intense but also kind of mellow? More neurotic than anything...}

    Idealize fantasies > Idealize reality

    Negative = Positive {Neither in particular, but I have my moments of slight despair...}

    Explore pain = Deny pain {Wallow privately in pain but also don't sulk that much?}

    Identify with emotions = Detach from emotions {I seem more stoic/disengaged that I am, I guess}

    Pessimistic = Optimistic {Again, neither in particular}

    Conflictual < Avoid conflict

    Misfit > Merges with others

    Dark side = Bright side {Again, neither}

    Authentic < Submissive {Though not entirely}

    Moody = Easy-going {Slightly bitter/neurotic but overall level-headed}

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