I’ve read and learnt about the MBTI system and functions lately. All of this is still confusing to me because I don’t trust myself to be so objective that I can truly make a decision about my type right now. Therefore, I need your help. I am not asking you to all agree on the type, I am not making a poll either and deciding that what most people type me as is my real type (I don’t believe in polls and statistics so much, there’s always a possibility of it being wrong). I am just asking for your honest opinion, whether I like it or not, so I could use it as a tool for introspection and make more research about myself (in order to improve, etc.) and perhaps consider this question differently (including, rethinking the way I use the different functions).
First of all, I am sure I am an Introvert and a Thinker, I believe I may be a Judger but I am less sure about this fact. I accepted it mostly from reading description when I first came across the MBTI system and also because I seem to score as a J most of the time.
I don’t mind you telling me that I am definitely a Feeler or an Extrovert but I will probably not take it into consideration, especially for the “Extrovert” part, that would be extremely ridiculous in my opinion.
So, let’s try to write something clear and unbiased for once. (Barely possible.)
First of all, why am I an Introvert ?
I like people but I tend to dislike their company. I can’t deal with groups, I am more at ease when talking with only one person.
I am a bit asocial and either extremely quiet or too talkative. I don’t enjoy small talk unless one has become a close friend (and I only have two close friends, which is more than fine for me) and am apparently seen as arrogant when I start talking because of that.
I feel exhausted when I am surrounded by people, I have trouble staying awake after an hour among people.
I deal with children better but I am probably socially immature.
Then, a messy introduction of who I am.
I suffer from dyspraxia, apparently, this probably mess a bit with my functions. I am face blind, pathologically clumsy, disorganised, have no sense of scales, mostly blind to any form of non verbal communication and may take thing literally though I do use metaphors (unusual ones sometimes, I do write poetry after all) and sarcasm.
I am not an impulsive or spontaneous person, but I do get lost in obsessions quite often (right now, it’s Doctor Who, before it was The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy or Star Wars or Linguistics or Shakespeare or 1984, etc). I have always been rather extreme in my attitude when something catches my interest (like, I’ve seen Men in Black more than 100 times when I was a teenager because my goal was to watch it at least 99 times).
This is a bit mad and useless, I admit it.
I don’t deal well with feelings though I have learnt to work with mine. I have a great self-control but I do admit that I was extremely emotive as a teenager. I’ve never been good at comforting people or realising their feelings though. I missed the fact that my cousin had depression last year and when I was 12, I tried to comfort my friend who had lost her dog by saying : “Oh, I like dogs” because I thought I was showing compassion.
She was rather pissed.
Now, I use logic in order to say what people expect me to say or I use humour to make them feel better.
I am sure I am an unhealthy kind of any type, being insecure, extremely nerdy, shy, inattentive and socially immature.
As I said, I am rather disorganised. My bedroom is a mess, I tend to be hoarder sometimes though I don’t have much possessions, I’m always losing something. I couldn’t work at the university without my laptop because I would always lose important papers and lessons. I am also a compulsive daydreamer, easily distracted, I procrastinate all the time to avoid failure due to a lack of abilities and also because I’m very lazy.
I have poor spatial and temporal awareness.
However, I organise random collections (but fail at decorating so it looks ugly), files in my laptop, tea boxes and books. I am also always planning things in my head, more or less depending on what’s on my mind, I also make several scenarios and adjust my plans as time passes.
And I can’t stand other’s people mess.
If there’s something I might agree with when other people describe me it’s that I am probably narcissistic, arrogant or egotist.
I literally live in my head, am almost constantly disconnected from the real world. I recreate the world in my mind, I also make random theories and enjoy making up jokes or absurd logic.
I observe people, try to understand how they interact and what it tells me about the world, the different cultures and perhaps the human nature but don't go past the theories, I can't use my knowledge apparently.
And I should be ashamed to admit that I do find lots of people rather stupid when they do not meet my expectations, mostly those who refuse to wonder about life, take everything for granted (including the fact that “science can explain everything” because I do consider that it says “how” but not “why”), are too emotive and impulsive, are always changing their minds and turning life into drama, those who seem to be only responding to their body functions or those who follow blindly cultural customs.
I say I value intelligence but have to admit that I am socially dumb and would fail in many subject due to a lack of knowledge or interest, I probably overestimate my intelligence most of the time.
I am extremely dumb in the sense that I can’t guess what’s in people’s head and when they ask me to do something; I need them to explain it properly, in details, or make a list so I won’t forget anything, especially when it’s something I have to do that isn’t one of the things I am good at or requires me to “act” rather than think. However, I am pretty good at working on my own and make my own decisions.
I have many idealistic ideas about the world but I am aware that it cannot be applied to the non idealistic world in which we live, in a way I am in contradiction with myself, being both an idealist and a realist.
I’m still wondering why there is a question about whether we prefer essays or multiple choice questionnaires in some online MBTI test because we all have different reasons for that but I’d say I prefer essays because :
-we rarely have MCQ in my country,
-I like to argue and think about something, I don’t like to learn something just to repeat it without any critical thinking,
-I definitely love debating, even with myself,
-I think it’s a more intelligent exercise.
What do my close friends think of me ?
I’m not going to take into consideration other’s people opinion, I don’t really care and I’m rarely honest with them when I don’t feel that they are extremely important to me.
I could say, though, that my mother and I argue a lot about the fact that I, apparently, “think too much”, “ask myself too many questions and can’t act”, “live in a bubble”, “is too asocial”.
My best friend thinks I am annoyingly intellectual and don’t respond emotionally the way she expects me too, she considers that I am arrogant, somewhat rude and take things too literally because I like words too much (I like to learn about etymology and how words have changed, I miss some of her jokes, criticised a website she loves because it said that people used critical thinking when all they do is saying : “this is rubbish because I don’t like it”). I like to be right and start debating too much and, for God’s sake, I should stop overanalysing everything, it’s irritating !
However, she enjoys my sense of humour (unusual for a woman, nerdy, witty sometimes) and my weirdness.
My other friend thinks I am definitely not arrogant, that I definitely have feelings, she considers me to be intelligent and interesting though asocial and probably a bit insane. She also considers that I am totally “out of social norms”. She likes my cynicism and sense of humour, doesn’t mind my nerdiness but consider that I am extremely blind to social convention / interactions.
They like the fact that I don’t hold grudge and accept criticism sometimes.
Thank you for reading this extremely long post. It sure is an habit of mine to write too much.
Possible enneagram type : 1 or 5