That's a lot for me to read through given how impatient I am but I will say this. The OP was one of the most profound posts I have ever read. One because I can relate to it and two because I know you and catching a glimpse of you opening up was touching.
I haven't read all of fineline's replies, but if he's still on top form then I'm quite sure his words are dead on. I mean come on how could anyone not have a crush on him?
Your type is difficult for me to nail down but I would agree what Noah said and say it fluctuates possibly depending on who you're with. The hat thing again? If I had to choose I say IsfJ. Keeping in mind that you are intelligent and very well read.
And fwiw I start things and don't always finish them. I also detest deadlines and more often times than not hate having my time reserved but I am also very J. Again as Noah said if not finishing things or not getting to things bothers you then you're likely J. P's aren't usually bothered by those things.