Typing Request for My Fiance

[Kierkagaard]

Okay, so what I’d like from you guys and the reason I’ll be posting today is because I’m interested in typing my fiancé. So, I'm not great with this sort of thing (I know enough to say I'm an INTP) but I'm going to attempt to describe her in the best terms I can and hopefully get the assistance of people more insightful than myself.

Without further adieu, let's get down to business.

I'm going to start by saying that I'm pretty much 100% sure about her being an IxFJ but again I won't claim to be any kind of authority on this sort of thing but at least if my description is completely off from any variation of that then it's most likely my description that needs improving (in which case I apologize for wasting your time from the get-go).

So I suppose I can start with her more positive attributes (positive being a subjective term for things I like most about her versus other things I still like, but not as much). She is most definitely an intelligent and thoughtful person. Not in the general or obvious sense but in the 'she can sit around for long periods of time just to think' sort of way. I wouldn't say this only applies to popular subjects either but rather she thinks about all aspects of life in a similar fashion often trying out various different perspectives and taking new opinions into consideration all the time. With a very malleable worldview but on founded mostly on logic she seems to have no issue looking at things through the thought processes of others and using this to broaden and deepen her own ideas. I've always loved and admired this about her since I've fairly poor at recognizing the benefits or positives in beliefs contrary to my own (not in a devaluing way though).

She's most certainly introverted as I am, preferring to have only a couple close friends but being heavily invested in those few relationships on a positive and emotionally trust-founded way. That said, she does have trouble being around large groups of people and doesn't tend to open up around most people but given her analytical nature loves learning about them and about the things that make them unique. Emotional connections and support mean a lot to her and she takes this connection very seriously when it comes to people she trusts. She doesn't tend to work well with any kind of chaos and is always seeking a certain level of stability and tranquility in her life and stress very easily accumulates when things aren't quite how she needs them to be. Like right now we're apart because I'm back home earning money so we can move in together and not having me there is causing both of us a lot of undue stress which gets into every other aspect of her life and acts as to make all the other stresses much more difficult to deal with in an individual sense.

She very much values her sense of intelligence and independence but can often be plagued with doubt about these things (such as feeling like a close relationship is making her too dependent or that being around someone who is also intelligent makes her feel unintelligent). She's definitely an organized person and loves making plans and plotting and generally thinking about the future. This also translates well into short term planning and having things planned down to the minute and successfully pulled off has a sense of comfort for her. Negatively this attests to a perfectionism that affects most of the things she does (but doesn't usually apply to others nearly as strictly) and having anything less than ideal can sometimes be upsetting. She's definitely the type to consider the consequences of every action before getting into doing anything and she frets often and seriously about how things can or might go wrong.

That's about all I can come up with at the moment, but there's probably a lot more I can say. If anyone needs any clarification on anything or can think of other questions I could answer about her I'll definitely answer. I appreciate your patience in this matter and eagerly await your reponses!

 

[Elfboy]

she seems like an INFJ to me. possibly INFP

 

[Kierkagaard]

she seems like an INFJ to me. possibly INFP

I do appreciate your prompt opinion, I'd also like to know why you think so! And I'd add that to anyone who posts next, I'd like to know what out of what I said you get that opinion from. Thanks again.

 

[Randomnity]

I see Ti, Ni, Fe, not necessarily in that order. That gives you INFJ, or possibly ISTP with a weak Se (and strong Fe). INFJ seems much more likely from the overall description, though (ex: focusing on emotional support)

I do not think she is INFP at all. Nearly everything you posted screams "not Fi".

 

[Kierkagaard]

I see Ti, Ni, Fe, not necessarily in that order. That gives you INFJ, or possibly ISTP with a weak Se (and strong Fe). INFJ seems much more likely from the overall description, though (ex: focusing on emotional support)

I do not think she is INFP at all. Nearly everything you posted screams "not Fi".

I have to apologize for my ignorance, but as I said I'm a bit of a novice at all this. I'm not asking for a lesson or anything but if you could explain where you see these functions, I can look up their meanings on my own so a bit more context would be appreciated (also if you think any more information would helpful I'd be happy to give it)

 

[Randomnity]

So I suppose I can start with her more positive attributes (positive being a subjective term for things I like most about her versus other things I still like, but not as much). She is most definitely an intelligent and thoughtful person.

Not type related

Not in the general or obvious sense but in the 'she can sit around for long periods of time just to think' sort of way.

Could be Ni, Ti, Ne

I wouldn't say this only applies to popular subjects either but rather she thinks about all aspects of life in a similar fashion often trying out various different perspectives and taking new opinions into consideration all the time.

Ni

With a very malleable worldview but on founded mostly on logic

Ti, perhaps Te

she seems to have no issue looking at things through the thought processes of others and using this to broaden and deepen her own ideas.

Ni, Fe, xNFJ in general

That said, she does have trouble being around large groups of people and doesn't tend to open up around most people but given her analytical nature loves learning about them and about the things that make them unique.

Ti, Fe, perhaps Fi

Emotional connections and support mean a lot to her and she takes this connection very seriously when it comes to people she trusts.

Fe, perhaps Fi

She doesn't tend to work well with any kind of chaos and is always seeking a certain level of stability and tranquility in her life and stress very easily accumulates when things aren't quite how she needs them to be. Like right now we're apart because I'm back home earning money so we can move in together and not having me there is causing both of us a lot of undue stress which gets into every other aspect of her life and acts as to make all the other stresses much more difficult to deal with in an individual sense.

Don't think this is type related. Some would say J in general, but I would disagree.

She very much values her sense of intelligence and independence

Ti

but can often be plagued with doubt about these things (such as feeling like a close relationship is making her too dependent or that being around someone who is also intelligent makes her feel unintelligent).

Not type related IMO

She's definitely an organized person and loves making plans and plotting and generally thinking about the future. This also translates well into short term planning and having things planned down to the minute and successfully pulled off has a sense of comfort for her.

Te, Ni

Negatively this attests to a perfectionism that affects most of the things she does (but doesn't usually apply to others nearly as strictly) and having anything less than ideal can sometimes be upsetting.

Not type related IMO

She's definitely the type to consider the consequences of every action before getting into doing anything and she frets often and seriously about how things can or might go wrong.

First part Ti, second part Ni

Hope that helps. My opinions only, and I'm not even close to an expert. Others may disagree.

There's lots of threads around here on the various functions, some worse (or more drama filled) than others. Most people here aren't "experts", although you could say "hobbyist".

 

[Noon]

I think ISFJ for now. Can you give more info about how she thinks?

Not in the general or obvious sense but in the 'she can sit around for long periods of time just to think' sort of way. I wouldn't say this only applies to popular subjects either but rather she thinks about all aspects of life in a similar fashion often trying out various different perspectives and taking new opinions into consideration all the time.

Any function with an introverted attitude. The second bolded sounds most like Fe or Ne but it can fit into Ni too, I think.

With a very malleable worldview but on founded mostly on logic she seems to have no issue looking at things through the thought processes of others and using this to broaden and deepen her own ideas.

Ti and Fe, or N.

That said, she does have trouble being around large groups of people and doesn't tend to open up around most people but given her analytical nature loves learning about them and about the things that make them unique. Emotional connections and support mean a lot to her and she takes this connection very seriously when it comes to people she trusts.

Ti and Fe once more.

She doesn't tend to work well with any kind of chaos and is always seeking a certain level of stability and tranquility in her life and stress very easily accumulates when things aren't quite how she needs them to be.

Pi, but it sounds especially like primary Si and inferior Ne.

She's definitely an organized person and loves making plans and plotting and generally thinking about the future. This also translates well into short term planning and having things planned down to the minute and successfully pulled off has a sense of comfort for her. Negatively this attests to a perfectionism that affects most of the things she does (but doesn't usually apply to others nearly as strictly) and having anything less than ideal can sometimes be upsetting.

IxxJs tend to be long-range thinkers who thrive on a certain measure of control and certainty. Perfectionism is said to be common in all of them, most visibly in IxFJs, but IxTJs tend to be perfectionist too.

She's definitely the type to consider the consequences of every action before getting into doing anything and she frets often and seriously about how things can or might go wrong.

IxxJs tend to be cautious and very mindful of effect and consequence. The (fretting) eye for negative possibilities / scenarios sounds like inferior Ne.

That's about all I can come up with at the moment, but there's probably a lot more I can say. If anyone needs any clarification on anything or can think of other questions I could answer about her I'll definitely answer. I appreciate your patience in this matter and eagerly await your reponses!

I mentioned it up there already, but: Can you give more info about how she thinks?

Disclaimer: I'm not an expert either. Take whatever I say with a grain of salt

 

[Kierkagaard]

Can you give more info about how she thinks?

If you could give an example of what you mean by 'how she thinks' I think I could help more. I'm not her so that could be a difficult question for me to answer in the first place but I'll do my best.


EDIT: I guess I could say that she's a little spacey and likes working with the theoretical, hypothetical (thought experiments) and abstract ideas. She's kind of clumsy (as am I) and not really observant about her physical surroundings (when it doesn't involve people watching). She definitely looks for deeper meanings behind images and ideas and is rarely okay accepting the way things seem on the surface.

EDIT EDIT: I asked about this and she gave me an example: "the other day i was on a forum and saw an avatar that was just a black and white picture of a leaf but the leaf had a tear on one side. i started thinking about why that person used that avatar and i thought how i love picking up pretty leaves and admiring them but then i started thinking how it could represent people and how we're expected to be a certain way and those of us with tears are discarded and thought less of because we're not perfect just like the leaves and i cried"

 

[Noon]

If you could give an example of what you mean by 'how she thinks' I think I could help more. I'm not her so that could be a difficult question for me to answer in the first place but I'll do my best.

ex:

1) How does she view reality?

2) What is she most mentally energized by? What is she most mentally drained by?

3) What are her biggest priorities? (i.e. overarching logical consistency, the materialization of a special plan or vision, certainty...?)

4) In general, what does she fear, dread, or reject the most? (i.e. unpredictability, lack of clarity, lack of mental or moral autonomy, impersonal uniformity...?)

5) When she comes across a new concept or idea, what does she do to help herself understand it? What is her primary method of problem-solving?

6) Does she build new perspectives from facts or does she derive facts from new perspectives?

7) Is her focus more personal or more impersonal? More technical or more general? How much does she value specificity?

8) What line of thought does she most often resort to under stress?

And anything else that you can think of. Everything is helpful!

 

[Kierkagaard]

ex:

1) How does she view reality?

2) What is she most mentally energized by? What is she most mentally drained by?

3) What are her biggest priorities? (i.e. overarching logical consistency, the materialization of a special plan or vision, certainty...?)

4) In general, what does she fear, dread, or reject the most? (i.e. unpredictability, lack of clarity, lack of mental or moral autonomy, impersonal uniformity...?)

5) When she comes across a new concept or idea, what does she do to help herself understand it? What is her primary method of problem-solving?

6) Does she build new perspectives from facts or does she derive facts from new perspectives?

7) Is her focus more personal or more impersonal? More technical or more general? How much does she value specificity?

8) What line of thought does she most often resort to under stress?

And anything else that you can think of. Everything is helpful!

You can see my edits in the previous posts for a small idea I suppose. I'll handle this a little later, but I thank you for it in advance! This should help a lot I think.

 

[Kierkagaard]

I gave her the questionnaire to fill out:

1)How does she view reality?
I’m not exactly fond of ‘reality’. If we’re talking about the reality of life in general, I think it’s subjective. I think everyone experiences their own, so I don’t see one reality everyone has to accept or anything. I think there are facts people should accept, for example, facts of science or the fact that horrible things are happening in other countries. Other than things of that nature, I guess I don’t really see there being a reality.

2) What is she most mentally energized by? What is she most mentally drained by?
I feel most energized, and also most like myself, when I’m by myself thinking about things like the troubles of the world, different perspectives of things that happen to not only me, but people around the globe and what I’m going to be doing in the distant future with regards to school and marriage. I hate getting bogged down in day to day affairs, I find all that SO stressful. It seems to be happening a lot because I’m in a really crappy work situation and I hate it so, so much. That’s what I’m most mentally drained by. Dealing with everyday crap and dealing with people. I much rather prefer just being alone and in my head.

3) What are her biggest priorities? (i.e. overarching logical consistency, the materialization of a special plan or vision, certainty...?) My biggest priority right now is my relationship with my fiancée. We’ve been through a lot together and I feel like I’ve finally found someone who accepts me for exactly who I am and wouldn’t change me for the world. After that would be my plans for the future but those aren’t set in stone… because of that, I think it’s more a priority of making sure I’ll have a good future I’ll appreciate years down the road which includes going to school and getting a degree in something I love, getting married and having a family, though I don’t know that I want children, I lean more towards no.

4) In general, what does she fear, dread, or reject the most? (i.e. unpredictability, lack of clarity, lack of mental or moral autonomy, impersonal uniformity...?) I fear loss of emotional security, not being able to be myself and staying stuck in this society where I have to be a certain way in order to be accepted. I have a big fear of rejection and abandonment. I have trust issues. I don’t like not having control over my life and I hate being told what to do. That’s not to say I won’t do what people need me to do when I can, but being TOLD to do it makes me want to flat out reject it.

5) When she comes across a new concept or idea, what does she do to help herself understand it? What is her primary method of problem-solving? Usually understanding something doesn’t take more than a few minutes at most. A lot of times I’ve already thought about what’s being presented to me so understanding takes no time at all. Agreeing on it is another matter, though. Compromise would be my primary method of problem-solving. I would try to make everyone (be it a group or just me and another person) happy, including myself.

6) Does she build new perspectives from facts or does she derive facts from new perspectives? More often than not I derive facts from new perspectives. I sit and think and think (naturally, this isn’t something that takes effort for me. I very much enjoy it.) about how I feel about things, how other people see things and that’s how I get my facts of the world. Not just what’s happening but how the whole thing (world/life/humanity/society) works.

7) Is her focus more personal or more impersonal? More technical or more general? How much does she value specificity? Definitely more personal. It’s all about emotions. I tend to feel my way through life. More general usually, can be technical with planning though. Since I’m someone who likes being in control more often than not, I do value specificity, especially when coming to planning things, both for present and distant future. When I’m in a situation where I feel like I have no control I like to know what’s happening, as many details as I can, to make me feel like I have some of that control back. I don’t enjoy it being that way, obviously in situations like that I’m stressed out which leads me too…

8) What line of thought does she most often resort to under stress?
Under stress I become bogged down in unimportant details. I can become impulsive and say/do things I don’t really mean. I hate both of those things so much because it feels like I know I’m acting ridiculous, I know I didn't mean to say that, I know these details aren’t really important and I hate that I’m putting so much significance in them, but it’s like this fog and I can’t see clearly. I try finding my way back to how I know I’d be happier thinking, but I get so stressed and it gets hard for me to stay focused on what I really want.

Reposting this info from my previous post to keep everything together.

EDIT: I guess I could say that she's a little spacey and likes working with the theoretical, hypothetical (thought experiments) and abstract ideas. She's kind of clumsy (as am I) and not really observant about her physical surroundings (when it doesn't involve people watching). She definitely looks for deeper meanings behind images and ideas and is rarely okay accepting the way things seem on the surface. I asked about this and she gave me an example: "the other day i was on a forum and saw an avatar that was just a black and white picture of a leaf but the leaf had a tear on one side. i started thinking about why that person used that avatar and i thought how i love picking up pretty leaves and admiring them but then i started thinking how it could represent people and how we're expected to be a certain way and those of us with tears are discarded and thought less of because we're not perfect just like the leaves and i cried"

 

[Noon]

I feel most energized, and also most like myself, when I’m by myself thinking about things like the troubles of the world, different perspectives of things that happen to not only me, but people around the globe and what I’m going to be doing in the distant future with regards to school and marriage.

Sounds somewhat like NF.

I hate getting bogged down in day to day affairs, I find all that SO stressful. It seems to be happening a lot because I’m in a really crappy work situation and I hate it so, so much. That’s what I’m most mentally drained by. Dealing with everyday crap and dealing with people. I much rather prefer just being alone and in my head.

More specifically, what would you consider your mental fortes and downfalls?
Example: I'm mentally energized by structuring, defining and categorizing things, and I tend to be mentally drained by lack of the above structure. I believe I have a knack for knowing what isn't right according to a given standard, but my downfall is that I tend to have trouble operating without a standard.

So what are your fortes? Coming up with new ideas and alternatives? Spotting and correcting logical inconsistencies? Etc.

I think knowing what process you're most comfortable and uncomfortable with would help a lot in knowing what your dominant function is.

Here are some quick overviews of all 8, but don't take them too literally.

My biggest priority right now is my relationship with my fiancée. We’ve been through a lot together and I feel like I’ve finally found someone who accepts me for exactly who I am and wouldn’t change me for the world. After that would be my plans for the future but those aren’t set in stone… because of that, I think it’s more a priority of making sure I’ll have a good future I’ll appreciate years down the road which includes going to school and getting a degree in something I love, getting married and having a family, though I don’t know that I want children, I lean more towards no.

Sorry, I meant mental and not life priorities (this is likely my fault for the ambiguity). What is the most important thing to you mentally? For someone with Fi first, for example, (like INFP) it might be personal truth, self-knowledge, internal harmony and moral autonomy, and the consistent expression of their personal values. For someone with Ti first it could be general "truth" and fairness, freedom from bias, intellectual autonomy, complete logical consistency. Etc.

I fear loss of emotional security, not being able to be myself and staying stuck in this society where I have to be a certain way in order to be accepted. I have a big fear of rejection and abandonment. I have trust issues. I don’t like not having control over my life and I hate being told what to do. That’s not to say I won’t do what people need me to do when I can, but being TOLD to do it makes me want to flat out reject it.

The bolded can indicate Fi over Fe but it's hard to tell because I have similar thoughts and do not have Fi. I think this might be more personal than type related.

Usually understanding something doesn’t take more than a few minutes at most. A lot of times I’ve already thought about what’s being presented to me so understanding takes no time at all. Agreeing on it is another matter, though. Compromise would be my primary method of problem-solving. I would try to make everyone (be it a group or just me and another person) happy, including myself.

Bolded sounds somewhat like Behind-the-Scenes interaction style but what if it's a completely impersonal technical problem? Example:

Someone with Si first might immediately attempt to understand the problem better by comparing and contrasting it with anything that can be related to it.

Someone with Se first might immediately attempt to understand the problem better by gathering and clarifying all of the facts.

Someone with Ne first might try to spin and connect it for multi-angled contextual meaning and significance.

The tricky thing is that you don't have to have [x] function first to do these things. For example, I do both Si and Ne things because Si and Ne are a natural pair.



@rest: Would you mind reading this thread also? Temperament and interaction style helps a lot when together with functions.

 

[Noon]

EDIT: I guess I could say that she's a little spacey and likes working with the theoretical, hypothetical (thought experiments) and abstract ideas. She's kind of clumsy (as am I) and not really observant about her physical surroundings (when it doesn't involve people watching). She definitely looks for deeper meanings behind images and ideas and is rarely okay accepting the way things seem on the surface.

Bold: Not necessarily related to type, although it could point to higher introversion. Type profiles often attribute physical coordination and attention to surroundings to Se, but in the case of the former, this isn't true at all, and the latter is probably most relevant when it's dominant (like in ESxPs).

Blue: I think it's indicative of N.

Purple: I think it could be indicative of N, Ni dominating Se (INxJ) in this case since you seem to be fairly sure that she's IxFJ, but it's hard to know for sure because I have very similar thoughts quite often and am S. It would probably be easier to tell if the method of and motivation behind it were explained.

 

[Kierkagaard]

She did the temperament test and got 'chart-the-course' and 'idealist catalyst' as her results. We both agree that the descriptions seem to fit her quite well.

 

[Noon]

Alright, my vote goes to INFJ for sure now!

 

[Kierkagaard]

REPOST: "the other day i was on a forum and saw an avatar that was just a black and white picture of a leaf but the leaf had a tear on one side. i started thinking about why that person used that avatar and i thought how i love picking up pretty leaves and admiring them but then i started thinking how it could represent people and how we're expected to be a certain way and those of us with tears are discarded and thought less of because we're not perfect just like the leaves and i cried"

Just out of curiosity, I was personally interested in what function this might indicate and after reading around I think it might be Ni. What do you think?

 

[Night]

To your OP:

It's tough having foreknowledge about a topic, then ensuring subsequent analysis is objective to your subject - especially with something as subjective as MBTI.

You said IxFJ in your intro. I'm not sure if she's IFJ on the basis that what you offer is indicative of IFJs or indicative of your wife, MBTI context aside. Also, once you inject your personal opinion in the intro, it's difficult to generate alternative opinion, specifically as you know her in person (very well, clearly) and to set aside your initial impression is probably more unreasonable than incorporating it. So, right off the bat, I'm trying to parse S v. N as the missing digit, versus a holistic evaluation.

Seems like consensus favors INFJ. I could also see INFP or ISFP.

 

[Kierkagaard]

To your OP:

It's tough having foreknowledge about a topic, then ensuring subsequent analysis is objective to your subject - especially with something as subjective as MBTI.

You said IxFJ in your intro. I'm not sure if she's IFJ on the basis that what you offer is indicative of IFJs or indicative of your wife, MBTI context aside. Also, once you inject your personal opinion in the intro, it's difficult to generate alternative opinion, specifically as you know her in person (very well, clearly) and to set aside your initial impression is probably more unreasonable than incorporating it. So, right off the bat, I'm trying to parse S v. N as the missing digit, versus a holistic evaluation.

Seems like consensus favors INFJ. I could also see INFP or ISFP.

Thank you for replying! I guess I could see how my opinions could be further from subjective than most. I think INFJ has been well explained thus far. Could you tell where and or why you see INFP or ISFP? Can P's be very plan oriented? As one myself I've never really seen the attribute in me. I'm actually fairly poor at it and a majority of our disagreements/differences/issues seem to stem from things like that.

 

[Night]

Thank you for replying! I guess I could see how my opinions could be further from subjective than most. I think INFJ has been well explained thus far. Could you tell where and or why you see INFP or ISFP? Can P's be very plan oriented? As one myself I've never really seen the attribute in me. I'm actually fairly poor at it and a majority of our disagreements/differences/issues seem to stem from things like that.

It's not necessarily that your opinions are subjective; it's just that offered opinions prior to an attempt at objective analysis adds an extra layer of difficultly for the detached observer in finalizing his ultimate judgment. It's an unnecessary curveball, is all.

P's can be plan-oriented. Or not. Depends more on their exposed dynamic. In your case, a romantic partnership necessarily entails a division of responsibility. One party will often budget. Another may more consistently clean. Within this dynamic, it doesn't necessary fit that the planner will/will not be P. Or J. It's more a question of social necessity than anything else, and is hard to effectively consider against MBTI. Does that make sense?

ISFPs and INFPs are often contemplative and self-secure with their approach to life. They work to personalize their environment to match their internal expectations of what should be, based on emotional experience. To that end, I could reasonably assert either score for your fiance.

 

[Kierkagaard]

While I might agree with that (though I doubt I could be a planner regardless of necessity XD) as long as I've known her (we were friends before we got together) she's always been a planner so I doubt it was anything that changed to accommodate me or our relationship (to clarify this I asked her and she said she's always been this way). Because of that I'm going to to stick with J I think, but I want to know what you think if you looked at just ISFJ and INFJ. Also if I could, we both insist that example I've re-posted twice is the best example of her day-to-day thought process so I think it would be helpful or prudent if someone could tell what they think it means in this context.