I think this is true of both TPs and FJs...simultaneously warm and detached and impersonal.If someone trods on their values, they can be surprisingly cold and analytical (usually with holes in their logic where they try to insert their ideals as truths). It's like ENFPs are either "warm and cuddly" or "cold as ice", while I'm usually neither here nor there - simultaneously "warm and charming" and "cold, detached and impersonal."
FPs and TJs are more one or the other, I think, in spades. It's that whole subjective subjectivity vs. objective objectivity inside.
Also, ENFPs can act like immature ExTJs if you cross them, if they have strong Te development. And when I say "immature" I just mean the tertiary temptation is never gonna be as strong or natural as it is to someone who has it with dom or aux.
That's why ENFPs can be so mean and heartless, but then start crying afterward.
Someone said once that ENFPs are crueler than ENTPs when we're mad, and that may be the emulation of TJ in us, but I tend to think of ENTP cruelty as a more low-grade, sneaky, constant thing, like scraping a dull butter knife...where as the ENFP will outright cut you.
Yes. I can put up such a ruse that some people have said I seem ISTJ, INTJ, or ENTP. o_OENFPs are good at analysing their feelings, so I can see how that could appear "Thinkery" but in the end it's just an attempt to logically justify something inherently subjective. I'm good at appearing to be really into someone and connecting with them (and I can understand how that would appear "Feely") but in the end it's mostly just a ruse/appearance. I very rarely feel deeply connected with people and that doesn't bother me one bit.
Those are people who don't know me very well at all, though. Anyone who really knows me - or spends any amount of time observing me - sees how emo I actually am.
It's a show. Though my own mother fell for it at one point. She really was convinced at one point, after I had lived out West for seven years away from her, that I had grown up to be a cold heartless bitch. My sister had to convince her otherwise.
Overall good post.Also, my ENFP friend tends to expend a great deal of effort finding the right word for how she feels, while I spend a great deal of effort finding the right words for my ideas. Both Fi and Ti are built on the concept of a holistic "framework" so trying to find the right words is congruent with trying to find just the right place for something in that framework.
Anyway, I'm not going to pretend to know you enough to pass judgment on which preferences you have, but hopefully something in what I wrote will help you determine that for yourself.