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  1. #1
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    Default My friend is a conundrum

    Going by first impressions alone, I didn't think I was going to like this girl at all, but as it turns out we became good friends very quickly and have only grown closer over the years.

    Anyway, here goes:

    She is one of the most reserved people I've met. This manifests itself in an incredibly forbidding manner and most people find her highly intimidating at first. To some extent, she's okay with conveying this impression because she doesn't really want to have to deal with a lot of strangers she probably won't like, but it's also largely because she is very shy.

    She rarely expresses enthusiasm or appreciation verbally. Her moments of effervescence are few and far between. She prefers to demonstrate such feelings through actions--I've never seen anyone put more time and attention into planning a surprise birthday party or helping a friend do hair and makeup before a big date.

    On the other hand, she is very, very good at signaling disapproval or displeasure. She doesn't say a whole lot but what she does is exactly to the point, and usually accompanied with a supremely telling "Oh no, you did NOT just do that" look. She turns a complete cold shoulder to people who have offended or upset her; this can go on for months on end.

    She is concerned about other people's welfare but detests clinginess and will withdraw if anyone becomes too dependent on her.

    She has fairly fixed tastes and decided opinions, and is typically hesitant to try new things although she will occasionally give them a shot. She usually has a good idea of what she likes and wants, and she won't go along with something she doesn't like because of peer pressure.

    She's quite sensitive to social conventions and doesn't typically tolerate aberrant behavior in public. Sometimes, I have an unfortunate tendency to make somewhat off-color jokes and they really never go down well with her.

    One of the things I've always liked best about her is that you can sit in a room alone with her and not feel the need to fill the silence with idle chitchat. I tend to be a little moody but I usually feel calmer and more stable in her presence which is nice. I'm also usually driven to be more responsible, more aware, less flaky, etc. so that she won't think worse of me because I value her opinion highly and so do most if not all of her friends.

    So, what do you guys think?

  2. #2
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I would guess ISTJ.

    I'm pretty confident on ISxJ.

  3. #3
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    ISTJ is what I was leaning towards as well, as I know a couple of ISFJ's and they really aren't very much like her.

    I suppose I'm a little surprised because I usually don't get along THIS well with ISTJs (and I'm even more surprised that I don't annoy the hell out of her!) but then again, no system can adequately predict the shades and nuances in every relationship.

  4. #4
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    ISTJ is what I was leaning towards as well, as I know a couple of ISFJ's and they really aren't very much like her.

    I suppose I'm a little surprised because I usually don't get along THIS well with ISTJs (and I'm even more surprised that I don't annoy the hell out of her!) but then again, no system can adequately predict the shades and nuances in every relationship.
    I think that the reason you get along better with this ISTJ is because she has more Fi development than the average ISTJ.

    She displayed just enough compassion and concern for me to think F for a moment, but then I realized it seemed more like Fi than Fe, and wasn't really a dominant trait in her personality, though it was there.

    Remember, you do have a lot in common with ISTJs on a certain level... you each have the others dominant as a tertiary.

  5. #5
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    That seems a very plausible explanation. Thanks!

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