Hmm... I can't figure it out. I have read through other threads regarding people with the same questions as I & have found them helpful but not quite definitive of me. As a child I resembled an INFP, terribly sensitive, quiet, shy, eager to please, daydreaming, etc. But of course there was that part of me that sat back and observed the other little kids on the playground learning what I should do and not do. The first conclusion I came to resulting from observations was something like this: "Never trust anyone, keep your secrets to yourself." Does this seem like a very INFP thing to do or think?
The more INTP version of myself became pronounced in my middle school-high school years and today. For some reason I just stopped wanting to make others happy or proud, got tired of doing the same work over & over again, saw no point to it all... Yadda yadda. These things are just measured by my school performance, but there were quite a few things going on in the background too. Moving from the South to the North, being surrounded by alcoholics & drug users, my crying mother, my workaholic/ever absent/alcoholic/womanizing father, & quite a few other things that really screwed me over... Not to be melodramatic, but I am sure these sorts of experiences had an effect on me. Did they cause me to put a stopper on feeling?
Today I suppose you could say I use logic to get through life, but what is my logic based off of? The possible emotional outcome of the situation I am in. "Will this person make me happy? Will this class make me miserable? What is the road to my greatest happiness? How can I avoid heartbreak? How can I avoid pain?" These are things I am quite certain everyone asks themselves, but my point is that's really as far as my logic goes. Of course I think about the meaning of life, I am curious about sciences & how things work, philosophy & applying theories, but I have never been very good at them... I can understand philosophy, but only the ideas and logic when they are put into a realistic context. I mean I tried majoring in the sciences, but have concluded that I was trying to fit into a pair of shoes that were not made for me...
Bleh, help. I could ramble on for hours if I thought anyone was going to read more than this. :P