Box me in... Oh PLEEAZE box me in. I/E Conflict.

[Santosha]

Hey everyone. I can't figure out if I'm ENFP or INFP, and it's driving me mad!
I know I know, people place way too much importance on type and I realize that type theory is just that, a theory. But I still want to get as close to an accurate type as possible. I've read many links about the differences on E's and I's, how they get energy, etc. I know that E's are suppose to engage more in the external world, and I's on inner values and concepts. Perhaps my perception of self is just very skewed. For a long time I typed as ENFP, very certain of the NFP, always moderately extroverted. But then I had to jump into socionics.. (still totally confused on that) and when I take a functions test I get INFP. I realize the two systems are very different. But I also read that Extroverts in MBTI remain extroverts in socionics. So how can I be an INFP? Reasons I don't think I'm an INFP? Well, I've made friends easily and rappidly in school and work. I am outspoken. I have an opinion on just about everything and just LOVE to share it. (Gross i know.) I've heard that INFP's generally give a very calm, relaxed demeanor, and can't really say that I do. I've read that INFP's dodge confrontation, and I readily welcome it when I feel there is a problem. I CAN'T STAND being in an environment with tension, like unspoken words.. its absolutely unbearable. Better to just get it out there and say what you have to so you can work through it. I am definately not a push over, and get pretty prickly when I feel stepped on. I am often the "speaker" in a group that has problems with management or other situations.. I am not afraid to speak up. So why do I question my ENFP-ness? Because I've read that ENFP's are more likely to naturally trust people from the get go. I don't. Trust is earned with me. I will give everyone a chance, but I only let them get so close to me through careful observation and decision that there worthy. Lets reword that, until i think they wouldnt "hurt me." I have jumped into love relationships.. but It takes me a LOOOONG time to decide to love someone. I've also heard that ENFP's are not likely to criticize, and I am terribly guilty of this. I stay far far away from personal attacks on charactor, but I will attack or criticize behaviors and beliefs. I love to debate and discuss politics, religion, fake people, insincerity, basically anything that doesnt fall within my guidelines of values. I know, it sounds really bad. Maybe I'm a jerk. But keep in mind that though I may not agree with others politics or religious ideas etc.. I would NEVER let that come between being friends. That in itself would go against my value of the bigger picture. I've heard that ENFP's have a really high energy, I DO tend to get more energized in groups.. but generally I am an average energy level. I DO initiate conversations. I DO introduce myself to new people at parties. I DO quickly and easily become a part of a group. I would rather share things on my mind than keep it to myself. Any of you have a general feel to my personality type? I think that in the last few years I've come alot closer to the Thinking/Feeling preference as well. I will always be a feeler, but I've began to understand the importance of being more objective, and logically thinking though my stance on various issues. Anyhow, if any of you get a general "feel" for anything I've written, please tell me what you think. Like I said, not fully knowing my type is driving me BATTY!

Much LOVE =)

 

[Curator]

E, probably, I skimmed, i cant read it all, my brain hurts to much...maybe later.. but seriously, it doesnt really matter that much, just be who you are, enjoy being who you are, and have a happy life <3

 

[lunalum]

^ Same.

You seem pretty surely E based on a skimming and your posting style in general. It's soaked in extroverted energy =P

*throws you in the ENFP box until another type is indicated*

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

X

 

[EJCC]

I read the title of this thread and thought "I'll bet this is an xNFP." And sure enough!

FTR, I think you're ENFP. Here's why:

Reasons I don't think I'm an INFP? Well, I've made friends easily and rappidly in school and work. I am outspoken. I have an opinion on just about everything and just LOVE to share it. (Gross i know.) I've heard that INFP's generally give a very calm, relaxed demeanor, and can't really say that I do. I've read that INFP's dodge confrontation, and I readily welcome it when I feel there is a problem. I CAN'T STAND being in an environment with tension, like unspoken words.. its absolutely unbearable. Better to just get it out there and say what you have to so you can work through it. I am definately not a push over, and get pretty prickly when I feel stepped on. I am often the "speaker" in a group that has problems with management or other situations.. I am not afraid to speak up.

From my experience, of the two types, ENFPs are the ones that are much more likely to jump into a conflict - and it seems like, the more opinionated and blunt the ENFP, the more Te they seem to show. (Which is why some of the louder ENFPs on this site - specifically Little Linguist and Aleksei - thought they were ESTJs before then.) I mention this because the bolded strikes me as very Te and assertive... and the fact that it comes more naturally to you probably means it's stronger, which means it's probably not your inferior function (?), which means... ENFP? (Not as sure about this reasoning as I am about the reasoning with my other points. I'm sure someone's going to disagree with me here.)

So why do I question my ENFP-ness? ...I've also heard that ENFP's are not likely to criticize, and I am terribly guilty of this. I stay far far away from personal attacks on charactor, but I will attack or criticize behaviors and beliefs. I love to debate and discuss politics, religion, fake people, insincerity, basically anything that doesnt fall within my guidelines of values. I know, it sounds really bad. Maybe I'm a jerk. But keep in mind that though I may not agree with others politics or religious ideas etc.. I would NEVER let that come between being friends. That in itself would go against my value of the bigger picture.

Again, very ENFP. They are DEFINITELY likely to criticize - and the "big picture" thing is the ENFP stereotype. For example, this quote from typelogic.com: "ENFPs are both "idea"-people and "people"-people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole."

I've heard that ENFP's have a really high energy, I DO tend to get more energized in groups.. but generally I am an average energy level. I DO initiate conversations. I DO introduce myself to new people at parties. I DO quickly and easily become a part of a group. I would rather share things on my mind than keep it to myself.

All of these make me think you're an extravert. As for the energy thing, there's a stereotype of ENFPs being the most "introverted" of the extraverted types. Also, I'm an extravert and my energy level is very consistent. Every time I've told someone my MBTI type, they've gone "But you aren't THAT extraverted..."

Some of my argument is based on the fact that your preconceived ENFP notions weren't all true (from my experience)... but yeah. I think you're ENFP.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

Huxley, there is no answer. The only reason you think there's an answer is because you think people come presorted as Is and Es. It's a myth that's popular on this forum and other places, but it's not true. These are just tendencies and tendencies change based on situation, mood, circumstances, history, company, etc. Sometimes you'll be doing E stuff, and something you'll be doing I stuff. The real you isn't I or E. There's no I or E mechanism inside you. Look for it if you want, but you won't find it.

 

[skylights]

^ you're talking about social extraversion, not cognitive, though, aren't you, twhs? if you ascribe to function theory, I or E doesn't come from your outward social preferences, but instead it comes from whether you are more comfortable with your consciousness tending to reside internally or externally to your mind. your cognitive preference.

for an NFP, the question becomes - is it easier to focus on your internal value-weighting of things and their importance/significance, the ideals you hold, and how you feel about people - or is it easier to focus on the influx of new information and patterns - to "idea surf"?

all NFPs will focus on both of these things, but if the answer is more focus on internal weighting, you are an INFP; if it is more focus on external patterns, you are ENFP.

i wouldn't worry much about other correlations, huxley. no person is perfectly true to all the quirks listed in profiles. personally i am a rather quiet, attached ENFP. profiles tend to say we tend to be very outspoken; i am not. profiles tend to say we quickly become bored with relationships; i do not. i am not always buzzing with extra energy either. perhaps you are just a less-quickly-trusting, more openly critical ENFP. actually i am very critical myself, i am just very good at hiding it...


from where i stand, even your title suggests ENFP. as does your post. but, of course, appearances can be deceiving.

 

[Santosha]

TWHS~

Funny, I see you also have problem X =P. And I actually WANT to believe this, that there is no box.. that its some sliding scale constantly based on what is going on in life. But here's why I question this idea. Tendencies do change on situation, mood, circumstance, but it *seems* that beyond this theres still an underlying preference. Sure you might be an introvert stuck working as a car salesman because its all you can find right now, so your FORCED to engage, talk, stay upbeat. But you naturally don't WANT to be that way. I score pretty high in all my other preferences. The absolute hardest for me to alter is iNtuition. I get real ansy when forced to talk to strong sensors for long periods. I just. cant. stay. interested. NOTHING against sensors, purely difference of communication. The whole theory is based on a natural preference. So if there is not a natural preference, then there the THEORY is bunk, then why are there 12k people on this forum?

 

[Curator]

yeah, Definitely an E...or on meth... im not sure, maybe both? j/klol.

In all seriousness, I don't believe the theory is bunk, but I also don't believe it is anywhere near perfect, for now its just a fun and interesting test that can help give some people a little extra insight.

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

Your title SCREAMS "E"

 

[Santosha]

Well.... thats just awesome. I took another functions test.. this time an mbti functions test. Tested as an ENTP with my Fi and Ti being almost equal, and Ne being quite a bit higher than the rest. AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I can understand how someone might struggle with determining Enfp/Infp... but INFP is far cry from ENTP. WTF!!!!

Anyhow, thanks to all of you that tried to help me analyze. Honestly, I have to be feeling a special humanitarian streak to wade thru someone elses narcissistic rants, and find it very sweet of each of you =)

 

[skylights]

you're totally ENFP, lol

but INFP is far cry from ENTP. WTF!!!!

it's not at all, really. they're both Perceiving types with strong Ne and moderate Si. look at this:

Ne Ti Fe Si
Ne Fi Te Si
Fi Ne Si Te

ENTP, ENFP, INFP.

the reason i think you're ENFP, in addition to the way you type, your diction, your title, etc - is that ENFP is smack dab between ENTP and INFP. i think it's fairly clear even from your posting that your Ne is high. your sig says Fi to me, and what's probably happening with your high Ti score is that the test isn't doing a great job discerning between Ti and Te. the other possibility, is that you're an ENTP with very high Fe. but all in all you seem to vibe ENFP.

clincher question: how do you tend to behave when you're really angry?

 

[Santosha]

Thats a tricky one. I behave differently with friends and extended family than I do with partners and immediately family. I come down on partners and immediately family much much harsher. Then again, usually friends and extended family can't push my buttons the ways those close to me can.

With friends and extended family, when I am upset I will retreat (for a little while) to process my hurt feelings alone. I know I can be irrational.. so I try really hard to look at it objectively. "Maybe they really meant this. Maybe they really just forgot." I usually only get upset with friends and family if they leave me out of something. THe know OR the event. I then get input from a close bystander. What do they think? Am i Justified? Is this person really being an ass or am I being an over sensitive brat? Then I generally respond to said friend or family in the MOST objective fair way possible, with an undertone of "you hurt my feelings. Maybe I perceived it wrong. Please explain yourself."

With close partners and immediate family.. I can go straight up NAZI style. When angered, it MUST be talked about.. right now! Everything I think and feel must be put out there. Where your coming from and where I'm coming from MUST be analyzed. I can not disguise it. I can not move on. Lets fight, get it out, get over it, so we can move on harmoniously and happily. I HATE feeling this way.. but once I've expressed the anger, it leaves me quickly and almost all is forgiven if we talk it out and come to some understanding. I can EASILY let it go if you've explained enough for your reasoning.

Also, I do not hold grudges for anything done towards myself. But if you mess with my brother, my partner, my bestbud, someone close.. EXPECT to see me in your face. Growing up I was known to be hot headed, confrontational, and would not back down no matter what.