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Thread: Read Please

  1. #1
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    Default Read Please

    So now that i have started college things are changing
    the way I have done things in the past has caused me a lot of anxiety
    and an emotional mess of a person
    I was about to take a test when I noticed that I don't know what to put anymore

    Now that i'm getting older i prefer getting things done as soon as possible instead of putting it off
    keeping appointments and notes about commitments in notebooks


    I no longer like making decisions after finding out what others think
    I prefer to keep a lot of things to myself now


    I used to do this

    considering every possible angle for a long time before and after making a decision.

    and not really get anywhere

    but now I try to get all the facts and information I need before making a decision
    and try and make the best decision and stick to it

    even though thinking about it afterwords still comes naturally to me

    instead of being in my idealistic lala land of if only, and why cant it be like this world
    i now prefer trying to accept things for the way they are


    now feelings vs thinking
    i was always a highly emotional person
    but now being overly emotional scares me.. i try to check to make sure I am not being unreasonable about looking at situation or making a decision

    and so many others things i have changed my mind on as well

    so what now?

    if my functions can't change then why do I no longer feel comfortable with my old preferences

    not saying what i'm doing is easy but because i have had so many bad experiences with my old preferences i no longer trust them
    my old functions were not being supported by my external environment

    growing up i was ridiculed, way to detached from reality, way to idealistic, and over extended myself with people

    and i no longer want that for myself

  2. #2
    Senor Membrane
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    It's just this back and forth that happens when you start to see yourself in a different light. For example, I was quite anxious and shy at one point, so to prove something to myself I went through an extroverted phase only to realize I really wasn't comfortable with it. Then I came back, but not to shyness, just your everyday introversion.

    Besides, the questions in these tests are silly, I could see myself answering any question differently depending on my mood, or the situation.

  3. #3
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Don't rely on a stupid classification scheme. Just ask yourself what you like doing, what you can do for a long time, and what kind of environment would match your interests/habits/skills. You don't need MBTI, really.

  4. #4
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    I was insanely confused until I looked at my LONG TERM patterns of behavior, answered what I really feel/do and not what I thought somebody wants me to be, and also keep in mind you can develop your inferior functions and shadow side as you age.

    Whether you realize it or not, you show a preference for getting other people's input and are probably most definitely a feeler.

  5. #5
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    I think as people grow older and mature, we start looking at how we used to adapt and how our old ways may not always work. For instance, being a P versus a J isn't always very adaptable and can often get a person in trouble when it comes to the realm of school and work. We begin to find ways to keep ourselves more organized. Also, we start to understand the way we work and how outside influence may tamper with that, and therefore, as say an introvert, may begin to nurture this aspect. Also, it is possible to be rational and Fi. Being a feeler doesn't make a person irrational, necessarily. But being too caught up on only our own emotions can. And so we learn to not react on every emotion in destructive ways. Being a feeler only means you work through the world on a basis of values. So being rational about your emotions doesn't automatically make you Ti or Te.

    Humans are dynamic, and I do believe that we are at core one type, but we can learn to adapt in other ways as well.

    Me personally, as an ISFP, through much destruction... have developed over time Si and Ti, not to mention Fe as well... or at least can mimic these in adaptive ways. I can also rationalize with my own emotions by facing them more honestly and not being reactive upon everything I feel. But I still move through the world on Fi. I've also found that Se doesn't always work for me if I'm relying on one impulse after another. My Se has gotten me in trouble a few times. So I've developed some Si, as well as channeled my Se towards positives such as taking in the way the sky looks as the sun sets, and etc.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

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    Yeah if I hadn't developed more judge-y planned behavior as I grew older (say past about 22) I'd probably be dead by now, or my life would at least be more fucked up.

    I was raised in a very SJ environment, and I think that forced me into structure while I lived at home, but when I left home it was literally like I blew around with the wind.

    The only things that saved me I think were the paradoxical combination of my girlish charm and my mean mouth. Developing a more judging personality and remembering some of the stuff my SJ grandparents taught me has helped me tremendously to manage my life better. You can only go so long trying to decide between food and tampons, and running out of money and crashing cars, et al.

    I always knew what I wanted vs. what other people wanted, and this can help you decide between FP and FJ. FJs apparently are less likely to strongly identify their own needs at a young age, where as FPs have no problem with this so can come across as rebellious or selfish to others at times.

    I used to have no problem, even in high school, just walking off of school campus whenever I felt like it. LOL. I never hurt anyone...I just couldn't stand the idea of other people hemming me in and structuring me.

    Seriously look back at yourself in your mid-to-late teens and early twenties and tell me what you see there. Those are probably your natural preferences, unless you were in some horribly oppressive environment.

  7. #7
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    ^ FP (Fi, rather) can easily be passive as well... but only to an extent. But Fi's do value peace and harmony, as well as individuality. Because of the nature to not want disharmony around them though, will often go along with what others want as opposed to their own wants. So this is really a person to person thing.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

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    I do now, much more now go along with other people's wants, in fact my roommate recently told me how easy-going she thought I was, and people here in the house where I live apparently see me as sweet and non-disruptive.

    One of the things that make people sometimes decide ENFP over INFP is not wild socializing, but a more choleric temperament or "Te push." I think IxFPs can be more passively individualistic. They're still individualistic, though.

    One of the most common traits of Fi is knowing who you are, it's easier for you to immediately say what you like and don't like, with passion and conviction. That doesn't necessarily always equate rebelliousness, of course. That's why I said it *can* make Fi users seem selfish or rebellious.

  9. #9
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    ^agreed. i think the statement just kind of bothered me as someone kept trying to say that i was displaying Fe behavior because i was considerate of others, or could sometimes be passive. but agreed, it's more of a quiet individuality. if there's a situation that doesn't tread on my personal convictions, i can be passive, yes, and very go with the flow.

    however, when i was much younger, elementary, middle school and early high school (the years of trying to figure out who i am), i would also say that i didn't know what i liked or didn't like, or who i was and what i wanted or thought, etc. but there was the search for it, which maybe marks the difference between Fi and Fe?
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

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    Yes I think the quest for self is both an Fi and E4 thing.

    However, I've also read that INFPs can be more openly opinionated than ISFPs, don't know what that's about, but appears to be true. My ISFP aunt was always pretty go-with-the-flow and laid back, unless you pissed her off, but I wouldn't mistake her for an ISFJ because she seemed to be so freakin' casual about everything, she had no sense of running a regimented household like a lot of the SFJ women I knew grewing up...I think any sense of "proper" behavior she may have had was very lax, almost seemingly non-existent. I always felt so, so accepted by her. She was like a more settled-down, less dramatic version of my mother....perhaps this is what seperates ISFP from ESFP, I don't know. They aren't sisters. My ISFP aunt is actually my ISFJ uncle's (mom's brother) wife.

    ISFJ uncle always seemed more dutiful and traditional than she was, more into health and fitness, where as she was just kind of like "whatever" and was more into making crafts, knitting, and reading about dream analysis and things. They both have a great sense of humor, though, and are very nice people.

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