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Read Please

liYA

New member
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
146
So now that i have started college things are changing
the way I have done things in the past has caused me a lot of anxiety
and an emotional mess of a person
I was about to take a test when I noticed that I don't know what to put anymore

Now that i'm getting older i prefer getting things done as soon as possible instead of putting it off
keeping appointments and notes about commitments in notebooks


I no longer like making decisions after finding out what others think
I prefer to keep a lot of things to myself now


I used to do this

considering every possible angle for a long time before and after making a decision.

and not really get anywhere

but now I try to get all the facts and information I need before making a decision
and try and make the best decision and stick to it

even though thinking about it afterwords still comes naturally to me

instead of being in my idealistic lala land of if only, and why cant it be like this world
i now prefer trying to accept things for the way they are


now feelings vs thinking
i was always a highly emotional person
but now being overly emotional scares me.. i try to check to make sure I am not being unreasonable about looking at situation or making a decision

and so many others things i have changed my mind on as well

so what now?

if my functions can't change then why do I no longer feel comfortable with my old preferences

not saying what i'm doing is easy but because i have had so many bad experiences with my old preferences i no longer trust them
my old functions were not being supported by my external environment

growing up i was ridiculed, way to detached from reality, way to idealistic, and over extended myself with people

and i no longer want that for myself
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
It's just this back and forth that happens when you start to see yourself in a different light. For example, I was quite anxious and shy at one point, so to prove something to myself I went through an extroverted phase only to realize I really wasn't comfortable with it. Then I came back, but not to shyness, just your everyday introversion.

Besides, the questions in these tests are silly, I could see myself answering any question differently depending on my mood, or the situation.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Don't rely on a stupid classification scheme. Just ask yourself what you like doing, what you can do for a long time, and what kind of environment would match your interests/habits/skills. You don't need MBTI, really.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
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May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
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Instinctual Variant
sx
I was insanely confused until I looked at my LONG TERM patterns of behavior, answered what I really feel/do and not what I thought somebody wants me to be, and also keep in mind you can develop your inferior functions and shadow side as you age.

Whether you realize it or not, you show a preference for getting other people's input and are probably most definitely a feeler.
 

Sunny Ghost

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May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
I think as people grow older and mature, we start looking at how we used to adapt and how our old ways may not always work. For instance, being a P versus a J isn't always very adaptable and can often get a person in trouble when it comes to the realm of school and work. We begin to find ways to keep ourselves more organized. Also, we start to understand the way we work and how outside influence may tamper with that, and therefore, as say an introvert, may begin to nurture this aspect. Also, it is possible to be rational and Fi. Being a feeler doesn't make a person irrational, necessarily. But being too caught up on only our own emotions can. And so we learn to not react on every emotion in destructive ways. Being a feeler only means you work through the world on a basis of values. So being rational about your emotions doesn't automatically make you Ti or Te.

Humans are dynamic, and I do believe that we are at core one type, but we can learn to adapt in other ways as well.

Me personally, as an ISFP, through much destruction... have developed over time Si and Ti, not to mention Fe as well... or at least can mimic these in adaptive ways. I can also rationalize with my own emotions by facing them more honestly and not being reactive upon everything I feel. But I still move through the world on Fi. I've also found that Se doesn't always work for me if I'm relying on one impulse after another. My Se has gotten me in trouble a few times. So I've developed some Si, as well as channeled my Se towards positives such as taking in the way the sky looks as the sun sets, and etc.
 

Thalassa

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Yeah if I hadn't developed more judge-y planned behavior as I grew older (say past about 22) I'd probably be dead by now, or my life would at least be more fucked up.

I was raised in a very SJ environment, and I think that forced me into structure while I lived at home, but when I left home it was literally like I blew around with the wind.

The only things that saved me I think were the paradoxical combination of my girlish charm and my mean mouth. Developing a more judging personality and remembering some of the stuff my SJ grandparents taught me has helped me tremendously to manage my life better. You can only go so long trying to decide between food and tampons, and running out of money and crashing cars, et al.

I always knew what I wanted vs. what other people wanted, and this can help you decide between FP and FJ. FJs apparently are less likely to strongly identify their own needs at a young age, where as FPs have no problem with this so can come across as rebellious or selfish to others at times.

I used to have no problem, even in high school, just walking off of school campus whenever I felt like it. LOL. I never hurt anyone...I just couldn't stand the idea of other people hemming me in and structuring me.

Seriously look back at yourself in your mid-to-late teens and early twenties and tell me what you see there. Those are probably your natural preferences, unless you were in some horribly oppressive environment.
 

Sunny Ghost

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^ FP (Fi, rather) can easily be passive as well... but only to an extent. But Fi's do value peace and harmony, as well as individuality. Because of the nature to not want disharmony around them though, will often go along with what others want as opposed to their own wants. So this is really a person to person thing.
 

Thalassa

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ISFP
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sx
I do now, much more now go along with other people's wants, in fact my roommate recently told me how easy-going she thought I was, and people here in the house where I live apparently see me as sweet and non-disruptive.

One of the things that make people sometimes decide ENFP over INFP is not wild socializing, but a more choleric temperament or "Te push." I think IxFPs can be more passively individualistic. They're still individualistic, though.

One of the most common traits of Fi is knowing who you are, it's easier for you to immediately say what you like and don't like, with passion and conviction. That doesn't necessarily always equate rebelliousness, of course. That's why I said it *can* make Fi users seem selfish or rebellious.
 

Sunny Ghost

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^agreed. i think the statement just kind of bothered me as someone kept trying to say that i was displaying Fe behavior because i was considerate of others, or could sometimes be passive. but agreed, it's more of a quiet individuality. if there's a situation that doesn't tread on my personal convictions, i can be passive, yes, and very go with the flow.

however, when i was much younger, elementary, middle school and early high school (the years of trying to figure out who i am), i would also say that i didn't know what i liked or didn't like, or who i was and what i wanted or thought, etc. but there was the search for it, which maybe marks the difference between Fi and Fe?
 

Thalassa

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Yes I think the quest for self is both an Fi and E4 thing.

However, I've also read that INFPs can be more openly opinionated than ISFPs, don't know what that's about, but appears to be true. My ISFP aunt was always pretty go-with-the-flow and laid back, unless you pissed her off, but I wouldn't mistake her for an ISFJ because she seemed to be so freakin' casual about everything, she had no sense of running a regimented household like a lot of the SFJ women I knew grewing up...I think any sense of "proper" behavior she may have had was very lax, almost seemingly non-existent. I always felt so, so accepted by her. She was like a more settled-down, less dramatic version of my mother....perhaps this is what seperates ISFP from ESFP, I don't know. They aren't sisters. My ISFP aunt is actually my ISFJ uncle's (mom's brother) wife.

ISFJ uncle always seemed more dutiful and traditional than she was, more into health and fitness, where as she was just kind of like "whatever" and was more into making crafts, knitting, and reading about dream analysis and things. They both have a great sense of humor, though, and are very nice people.
 

Sunny Ghost

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Yes I think the quest for self is both an Fi and E4 thing.

However, I've also read that INFPs can be more openly opinionated than ISFPs, don't know what that's about, but appears to be true. My ISFP aunt was always pretty go-with-the-flow and laid back, unless you pissed her off, but I wouldn't mistake her for an ISFJ because she seemed to be so freakin' casual about everything, she had no sense of running a regimented household like a lot of the SFJ women I knew grewing up...I think any sense of "proper" behavior she may have had was very lax, almost seemingly non-existent. I always felt so, so accepted by her. She was like a more settled-down, less dramatic version of my mother....perhaps this is what seperates ISFP from ESFP, I don't know. They aren't sisters. My ISFP aunt is actually my ISFJ uncle's (mom's brother) wife.

ISFJ uncle always seemed more dutiful and traditional than she was, more into health and fitness, where as she was just kind of like "whatever" and was more into making crafts, knitting, and reading about dream analysis and things. They both have a great sense of humor, though, and are very nice people.
She sounds like me. :wubbie:

However, part of my "growing up," I've become somewhat xSFJ-like. :doh: I try to keep list to keep myself organized, however I'd say it's not my forte. And I'm very regimented about the house... but I think this has a lot to do with feeling like a failure and having disgusting roommates that only add in to that feeling. Maybe it's my ESFJ shadow. Ugh.


Anyways, back to point-liya... I do think you exhibit more Fi than Ti. I've seen you ask a lot of questions about INFP's and ISFP's, but I think it might be interesting if you told us more about yourself and those of us here on typec might be able to provide helpful input. :) Just a suggestion.

So, tell us your interests and hobbies. Tell us what you think about, or how you think about things. Etc, etc.

Also, I thought nameless hero did a great job explaining how Fi works in detail, which you might find of use, as he touches on how Fi rationalizes:
"All worldviews founded upon emotion and not clear-cut rationale are bound to degenerate into chicanery."

If the content of your reason is not ultimately (and always) the appreciation of the unique value of each of us, it will not be "reason" at all, but a strange cult dedicated to the denial of other human beings their inner worth. Introverted feeling is the recognition of worth. It is the capital that money measures. Extroverted feeling is the foundation of diplomatic alliance. F(e) is the content of strategic logic. It is the substance of realpolitik.

F(i) is the following:

Fi (Introverted Feeling):


Essence Reading: Fi is considering importance and worth. It allows one to decide if something is of significance and worth standing up for. It serves as a filter for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in. There can be a continual weighing of the situational worth or importance of everything and patient balancing of the core issues of peace and conflict in life’s situations. It helps Fi types know when people are being fake or insincere or if they are basically good. It is like having an internal sense of the “essence” of a person or a project and reading fine distinctions among feeling tones.

Moral Compass: Fi is clarifying values to achieve accord. Fi types have high personal moral standards and are particularly sensitive to inconsistencies in their environment between what is being said and what is being done. Empty promises of adhering to something they value set off an inner alarm and they may transform themselves into a powerful crusading force.

Empathy: Fi types are usually gentile and kind. They are sensitive to others’ pain, restlessness or general discomfort and strive to find happiness, balance and wholeness for themselves in order to help others find joy, satisfaction and plenitude. They are deeply empathetic, and they are usually tolerant and open-minded, insightful, flexible and understanding. They have good listening skills, are genuinely concerned and insightful. At their best, they inspire others to be themselves. These types focus on the good in others, so they tend to downplay others faults, often forgiving them for the slights of minor hurtful behavior. Their habitual approach to people is nonjudgmental, understanding and forgiving. They seek to affirm all parties in a controversy and thus readily the validity of contradictory points of view. Underlying their characteristic tolerance is an overarching natural curiosity. They find the diversity in the world immensely appealing.

Devotion: Intense and passionate about their values and deeply held beliefs. They are quietly persistent in raising awareness of cherished causes and often fight for the underdog in quiet or not-so-quiet ways.

Idealism: They live life in an intently personal fashion, acting on the belief that each persona is unique and that social norms are to be respected only if they do not hinder personal development or expression. Moral choices prompted by the Fi types are not derived from legal principles or the social obligations that accrue to our roles in the world. They’re derived from the subjective experience of being human, our will to deal with a situation in terms of human ideal. Fi bypasses structural considerations and puts human value first. They place a high value on affirming both their own and others’ individuality and uniqueness."
-----------------
Now lets look at an example of NF reasoning.
F(i) is the moral principle of reciprocity. Presented as cold logic, it is akin to the Kantian categorical imperative. It is dispassion and repose.
Look at this statement and tell me if it is T(i) or T (e) or F (e) or F(i): "It is foolishness and endless trouble to throw a stone at every dog that barks at you."

Surely, that it is a synthetic proposition. It is not true by definition. So it is not T(i).
Furthermore, it is a statement that is not categorical, but hypothetical. As T(e) is the application of a single standard to all, and this statement implies that our responses to threats should be forbearing rather than categorical standard protocol.

A deeper look reveals that this statement is abstract and tolemetic. Therefore, it is statement of an intuitive introvert. (The stones and dogs are placeholders for something else - namely people and their efforts at discharging anger, stated in a cagey N(i) manner.)

So it is not T(i) nor T(e) and it is N(i), so then is it NF(e) or NF(i)? In answer it is N(i)+F(e). Here is the quote from the cognitive processes page at the ENFPforum.com

Fe is "Social Awareness: Fe is conceptual and analytic. It encourages us to make rational choices, to measure our options for relationship against external standards of behaviors. [Customs] Fe prompts in this regard are not a matter of emotion, impulse, or doing what we learned in kindergarten. These are secular rituals—visible signs that mark a participant’s membership in the community at large. Such rituals can touch us, but they are not occasions of sentiment. They’re a vocabulary, part of our feeling lexicon. They submit to collective form an experience ordinarily confined to individual history, allowing us to express the kinds of relationships important to us as people. Social values mark these wares of decision making that go beyond one person’s immediate experience to affect the community as a whole. Apart from questions of moral rectitude, our behaviors toward others have implications, whether we intend them or not. Fe types seek continuity through harmonious relationships and collective values. They excel at picking up on the tone of a situation and acting accordingly, adding warmth to a cool setting or turning sour into sweet."

I think I would like a world with more NF crusaders. "It is foolishness and endless trouble to throw stones at every dog that barks at you." Yes indeed.
 

chess

New member
Joined
Jan 17, 2011
Messages
4
MBTI Type
ENTP
@OP:
You're describing the thing that is called Youth. Enjoy it, explore yourself, learn about things, discover your limits, move where you desire and at the speed you want.
Look back after weeks, months, decades having discovered your MBTI and remember fondly your exploration, instead of cringing at insecurity.
 
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